Relationship with Muslim woman

[PennyinCanada]

If you think you can live 50 years of married life without BOTH of you going to the sacraments, you are crazy.

The fact that it was ok with you to date a Muslim woman means to me that you have not realized the power of Jesus Christ, the Savior and Redeemer of the world, in your life. There is more to the faith than you are experiencing right now. This is the good news! We need you to come more fully into the faith, to get plugged in, and to draw down graces on the world. If you were actively doing this today you would be looking for a Catholic, faith filled, life partner. Don’t sell yourself short. There’s more! Call out to God for more! and don’t get into a relationship that is going to require you to put Christ to the side.

Honor God in your singleness, in your dating, in your married life. We only have one chance to get this right.

 

[1ke]

She’s proposing me to say the shahada just so we can get the Muslim wedding ceremony and after that I would continue living as I live now. Is that a permissible thing to do?

No.

I suggest you rethink a relationship where your significant other asks you to lie about your religion.

 

[1ke]

Yup. I realize though that from the Muslim point of view it may not make much sense, cause it could make the marriage invalid. But at least it would keep the family happy hah.

That is very naive of you.

It doesn’t sound like you are ready to marry anyone.

 

[AlNg]

I have heard of Catholics and Muslims - and Jews and Muslims getting married and having a good family life. I find Muslim women that I have known to be respectful and to dress modestly and further, upon marriage, they are devoted to their husbands and their families and want to have several children. The Muslim family next door has six children with another on the way. I don’t see too many Roman Catholic women having many children today. In fact, it is a problem in Europe that families are getting smaller and actually, there are reports that many Roman Catholic young couples are living together or cohabiting without getting married in the Catholic Church.
I don’t have any specific recommendation in your case, but perhaps there is a liberal Muslim cleric, who knows you to be a Catholic and who can witness the marriage ceremony without you having to convert to Islam. However, I believe that the Catholic Church has rules against getting married in an Islamic mosque according to the Islamic rites. But
there have been in the news reports of people of different faiths getting married in a ceremony which was overseen by two clerics of different faiths. I know that there are cases of Catholics and Jews getting married.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

The issue is not whether they could be married. The issue is whether he should make the Muslim profession of faith to placate her family in this case, and the clear answer is he should not, since it would be both a denial of his Catholic faith and also be an insincere lie because he doesn’t believe in Islam.

 

[Allegra]

And when exactly do you plan to end this dishonesty? Are you going to make your future children go around in burkas? Take them to Mecca? Obviously this is a deception your can’t realistically keep up for any length of time and her parents won’t be any less furious when they find out after the fact. If you are serious about marrying her, you need to be serious about this issue and how you’re going to deal with it. You aren’t going to succeed in “making them happy.” Whether now or later, they’re going to be pissed. You need to talk with your intended about how you plan to honor God in your marriage and how you plan to deal with her parents together as a couple when they don’t approve of your choices or beliefs.

 

[Jump4Joy]

It doesn’t sound like a good idea or permissible in the Catholic Church. I think you should reconsider your options

 

[czb]

Thanks for all the answers. I generally agree with them, so no shahada recitation

 

[Bradskii]

Thanks for all the answers. I generally agree with them, so no shahada recitation

That makes sense. If I had married a Catholic girl I wouldn’t have got married in a church as it would have been disrespectful to her beliefs. We would have needed to work something else out. And if her faith came before us then so be it.

 

[alice24]

If you two are not considering converting in any direction with serious intention, then this is a very bad idea and shows a lack of faith for both of you. If one of you is not allowed to marry without conversion, there are only two decisions: a) not marrying or b) marrying and taking the consequence that one of you may break up with the faith. Even then a neutral ceremony would be the most honest decision.
I´m not out of understanding, dear OP. I am in Iran oficially a muslim as my father is “listed” as a muslim citizen, and my marriage to a christian man is in the eyes of the state invalid until he converts. Me converting is a serious crime (they don´t know I am a christian).

 

[midori]

That’s very brave of you, @alice24 .

It’s very easy for so many of us to treat it as a mental exercise from our comfy chairs, but historically speaking— and in many parts of the world in the current day— it really is an issue that people have been killed over.

I have a lot of respect for people whose faith is important enough to them that they accept being in danger for the sake of keeping it. You’re very strong.

 

[alice24]

That’s very brave of you, @alice24 .

Thank you dear midori, but I´m not. I´m not living in iran, my husband and me both are living in germany and we only had the problem when we visit family in iran. It´s sad as my granny is too old to travel and my decision is at the moment keeping me from travellig to her.There are many christians in iran who face this danger every day, they are truly brave and I really wish I had only 10% of their faith and bravery.

It’s very easy for so many of us to treat it as a mental exercise from our comfy chairs, but historically speaking— and in many parts of the world in the current day— it really is an issue that people have been killed over.

Yeah…I do know that the priest´s answers on how to deal with gouvernments who won´t accept conversion vary, and I would definately speak to a priest in case of such circumstances - we are not always expected to risk our life like the saints, even if is is of course brave and honourable. But, if we don´t speak of safety risks, a fake conversion is always the most bad decision one can make.

 

[porthos11]

Thanks for all the answers. I generally agree with them, so no shahada recitation

I’m going to tell you something you need to hear, but won’t want to hear. You’ll get mad too.

How about no Muslim girlfriend?

If you take your faith as seriously as you should, a Muslim girlfriend/future wife should not even be under consideration AT ALL.

There is only one real course of action here. End this relationship and find one that actually supports your Catholic faith, not endangers it.

and no, “I love her” is not a sufficient reason.

End of rant.

 

[alice24]

If you take your faith as seriously as you should, a Muslim girlfriend/future wife should not even be under consideration AT ALL.

I´d be careful with that. He should talk to his priest, and if there´s a chance to validly marry her, I won´t simply step over this and say “it´s impossible”. The marriage of my father and my mother was christian/muslim and it broke caused by everything but not by religious differences.

 

[porthos11]

porthos11:

If you take your faith as seriously as you should, a Muslim girlfriend/future wife should not even be under consideration AT ALL.

I´d be careful with that. He should talk to his priest, and if there´s a chance to validly marry her, I won´t simply step over this and say “it´s impossible”. The marriage of my father and my mother was christian/muslim and it broke caused by everything but not by religious differences.

Nothing’s impossible, but, still, no.

No Catholic should have any business marrying a Muslim. It’s for reasons much, much more than “it can work.”

 

[jjje1995]

I’m afraid bearing witness that Muhammad is God’s messenger would be a clear act of apostasy as to acknowledge Muhammad is to acknowledge all the things he said which are wrong, among which, that Jesus is not divine. Even if you don’t mean it, it’s still apostasy as in the case of Saint Marcellinus.