Relationship with my Father?

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AveMariaConvert

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When I was younger my mum and dad broke up.

I didn’t mind it then because I got to see him lots but I did mind that his new partner was my mums bestfriend, a woman whom we used to call auntie…

I have stopped seeing him now because he is selfish, childish and is using me and my brother in a feeble attempt to hurt my mother.

My stepmum is now pregnant again with a baby. They will not tell me the sex of the baby because they are playing a game with me as usual.

I have not seen nor spoken to him in a year.

The thing is my baptism is coming up in a fortnight and I really feel bad because of the “Honor your parents” commandment and… Yeah…

All of them are atheists

I cannot respect both of my steparents or my father… Help?
 
Avemariaconvert said:

“My stepmum is now pregnant again with a baby. They will not tell me the sex of the baby because they are playing a game with me as usual.”

Don’t take that personally. A lot of couples do not disclose the sex of the baby until the baby is born. Some don’t even want to know themselves, until the baby is born.
 
You are not obligated to have a relationship with your father. You are obligated to live peaceably with all men, as much as you are able (Romans 12:18). You must forgive whatever hurts have been dealt you, and you must seek to reconcile any hurts you have caused. These are the minimum daily requirement.

And what of grace? What of being a light to this new sibling surrounded by atheist parents? Between you and God, completely. As a woman who stood at gravesides for every parent, step and natural, by my 32nd birthday, I will tell you that it’s best to live so that no regrets will follow you, so that you will never one day wonder whether one more letter, call, visit, or day of fasting prayer would have made the difference.

As a labor and delivery nurse, the greatest irritation to me is the number of sheer imbiciles that become parents with ease while wonderful couples languish in childlessness. This is to me the surest proof of a fallen creation. I’m sorry your parents aren’t what you would like. You can’t control what they do, but you must control what you do. Do right, and you will never have regret, and will witness the truth of God without opening your mouth.

Blessings,
V
 
honouring him does not mean have a relationship with him.

it means bearing him no ill will and thanking, as much as you can, for the things he has done for you. giving you life, for example. and if he were to come and ask for forgiveness one day, to not hold anything against him. and try not to speak ill of him to others.

but you’re not obligatd to see him, talk tohim or invite him over for dinner or anything like that.
 
Xantippe said:
Avemariaconvert said:

“My stepmum is now pregnant again with a baby. They will not tell me the sex of the baby because they are playing a game with me as usual.”

Don’t take that personally. A lot of couples do not disclose the sex of the baby until the baby is born. Some don’t even want to know themselves, until the baby is born.
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What I had meant to say is that everyone but my brother and I know.
 
AveMariaConvert said:
What I had meant to say is that everyone but my brother and I know.
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They probably don’t want you to pass the info on to your Mom. Don’t worry about it, let them play their little games and you just pray for the baby. Sounds like it will have some strange parents to grow up with!. Maybe down the road you can have a great influence on the baby. God Bless, Memaw
 
You must understand if your family are all atheists, then they like everyone else need salvation that comes from Christ alone. Until that time, they remain in spiritual bondage, like all of us that don’t turn to Christ. So to expect them to have christian charity, or any charity at all may be expecting too much. I say it many times, and it’s something God enlightened me with, and that is “We can’t give what we don’t have, and that is the fruit of Grace. That is Love, Hope, and Faith, this includes all of the virtues.” They are really handicapped spiritually,and probably not even aware of it. You are about to be baptized, giving your life to Jesus. You are blessed. Pray for your family that they too are blessed. Jesus tells us that we must love our neighbors, even our enemies, and thats impossible without the grace of God. If we love God, and don’t love our neighbor, forgiving him then we are not true to God. Remember love isn’t always a good feeling, but an act of the will, that we are determined to love the person, inspite of all his failings.and even our repugnance. Tough,but rewarding. If we conquer ourselves by co-operating with Gods’ grace, we have conquered the world, the flesh and the devil. And only God knows what part you may play in bringing Him to them.
 
Thank you… I hadn’t looked at it from t perspective before!
 
God gave you a precious gift, and He expect you to love her and bring it to Him with yourself. May God keep both of you, and bless you with His love always. Praying for your family.
 
Spend this Holy Week preparing for the wonderful gift that you will receive in a few days.

Be in peace about this. If your father chooses to play games, then you have all the right in the world to say ‘no thanks’ and to shield yourself from harm.

Pray for your father and his family. That will give you comfort. I haven’t spoken to my father for several years now but I pray the Divine Mercy chaplet for him most days. That has really helped me deal with the situation.

God bless.
 
Are you in high school? College? Still living at home?

There are so many beautiful and wise answers here.

I’ll add a thought I heard years ago: honor your parents by living well, with integrity, honor, and so on. By doing the right thing.

I have no relationship with my father, either. I won’t go near him because of his behavior.

But I pray for him daily. I try to live my life well and according to God’s will, and this certainly brings honor to him as a father, if I succeed and do good for others.

I will add you and my parents to my prayer list and congratulations on your upcoming baptism. May God bless you.
 
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