Relationships, Annulments, Suffering, Next Steps

[vsedriver]

I don’t have any friends to talk to or see that aren’t 1000+ miles away so I’m carrying this alone. This girl was my only friend in this area.

time to make more friends. Got a hobby? Make a cursillo. My 37 yr old brother found his wife with an online dating service. Sorry, I don’t know which one but it was for serious marriage searchers and was faith based.

then get on your knees and thank God for not letting you end up in an unhappy marriage. I believe these things happen for a reason. She wasn’t the one.

 

[PennyinCanada]

I don’t understand how you understand this to be what has happened from what the OP wrote. Perhaps you did not read all of the thread?

When I was single, I found out on the first date if the person was Catholic. I found out about one guy being a Jehovah Witness, one guy was Catholic and divorced, one guy didn’t care for attending church at all though he grew up with Catholic parents. I made the decision not to have a second date. If I continued to date them, I ran the risk of getting emotionally attached, then I would have to deal with this conflict of my faith and their own faith journey that did not run parallel with mine. It’s not fair to them. I guess I decided just to be up front right from day 1.

If you find out someone is non-denominational, you can guess they are going to have a conflict with the Pope being the prime minister of Christ on earth, that you have to confess to a priest, that the Eucharist is the body and blood of Christ, and so on. To continue dating for months is to overlook this conflict so you can continue dating. It’s not fair to either party.

 

[halogirl]

I think just give her space. She has been through a trauma, and may even have PTSD as a result of this marriage and abuse. Many things about being potentially married again have triggered her and you are getting the blowback. Be patient with her and let her know that there is no need to rush into anything

 

[PennyinCanada]

To be fair, Catholicism asks a lot for a person who is not Catholic.
It’s different when someone is on board and already walking the walk. Then you can help each other.

 

[halogirl]

So true. My other half is very understanding especially with all the rules around marital relations

 

[pmankow]

She broke up with me abruptly this past Saturday. I don’t plan on contacting her again for a while if I do at all.

When she did break up with me she mentioned a bunch of stuff (as I mentioned in my original post) as her reason and it all sort of came out in a rushed and not-very-coherent mess. Conversely, the first time we had issues we took time to think things through together. I remember being impressed at how open she was to talk about things and read what information I gave her.

So, really all I can hope for is that she was being emotional, which is understandable with her past, and tries to connect with me again and we can take things from there. If she doesn’t contact me maybe I will reach out in a couple weeks or a month and just ask how she is doing. I don’t know.

 

[halogirl]

Let the dust settle, for sure. I wish you well. It’s horrible I’ve been there

 

[Convert3]

My first marriage was in the church and was nothing like you described, and it took four months to get an annulment.

 

[TheLittleLady]

I don’t understand how I got here. I didn’t want to date a non-Catholic because of the complexities of raising children. However, I made a very prayerful exception this time

I disagree with this. At no point did I put God or my faith to the side.

What did happen is you put your “deal killer” list aside. You did not want to date non-Catholics, but, you put that aside when you decided to date her. It is not odd for non-Catholics to not cooperate with Church teaching. Heck, if they believed Church teaching, they’d be Catholics, right?

 

[Margaret_Ann]

If she doesn’t contact me maybe I will reach out in a couple weeks or a month and just ask how she is doing. I don’t know.

Like @halogirl posted, let the dust settle. You owe it to yourself not to get into a rebound relationship. Suggestion: Spend some time with Jesus in Eucharistic Adoration. He has myriads of Angels adoring Him and yet He wants us to visit Him.