Relatuonship with my Second cousin who are orthodox

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I am 19 years old polish young girl.My country Poland is one of the most religious Catholics countrys.My father is Polish and my mother italian and we live in Poland.I have relationship with my second cousin who are 18 years old and he is Orthodox from orthodox minority of Poland.His father is Greek and his mother is Polish.His mother is first cousin with my father.We have sex many times.We are and the two religious christians who go church every week.Now my second cousin are my boyfriend too.What feauture have this relationship?
 
My father are polish and my mother Italian.His father are Greek and his mother polish.
 
Attactos said:
…What feauture have this relationship?
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Hello,

Do you want to know about what the Church would let happen for a Catholic and Orthodox who are also blood relatives but want to marry?

Or, are you asking for opinions about the future of your specific relationship (like, will it last, is it healthy, is it moral)?

Dan
 
Canon law prohibits marriage to the fourth degree of consanguinity (blood relation). CIC 1091.2. I believe, but am not certain, that being second cousins, this WOULD prohibit you being married.

You have indicated that you have had sex - the church teaches that this is sinful outside of marriage, so at least one aspect of your relationship is immoral. At a minimum, you should stop having sex and confess. And, given that it appears you cannot be married, it’s a relationship that you should end.

Canon lawyers, please correct me if I’m wrong.
 
  1. Sexual relations before marriage are sinful, so you need to end that.
  2. Second cousins can marry in the Church, even without a dispensation. Second cousins share 1 great grandparent.
  3. The differences in your religions are not great, but are there. Normally Greek Orthodox need to marry in their own Church. You will need to discuss this with your priest if you decide to marry.
  4. Both of you are so young to be so heavily involved with each other. Could you not wait a few years to make sure your relationship has the necessary maturity to decide marriage. The sexual relationship could be clouding your judgement.
 
LundyLund said:
Canon law prohibits marriage to the fourth degree of consanguinity (blood relation). CIC 1091.2. I believe, but am not certain, that being second cousins, this WOULD prohibit you being married.
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According to the chart at Wikipedia, second cousins have a consanguinity of the sixth degree; first cousins are the ones who have a consanguinity of the fourth degree. So, consanguinity would not be an impediment to marriage in this case of second cousins.
 
Attactos said:
We have sex many times.

We are and the two religious christians who go church every week.
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Hmmm… These two things don’t go together. Sexual relations outside marriage is a sin against the sixth commandment. Both of you need to consider going to confession.
 
Todd977 said:
According to the chart at Wikipedia, second cousins have a consanguinity of the sixth degree; first cousins are the ones who have a consanguinity of the fourth degree. So, consanguinity would not be an impediment to marriage in this case of second cousins.
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Thanks - obviously I misread the chart.
 
Todd977 said:
According to the chart at Wikipedia, second cousins have a consanguinity of the sixth degree; first cousins are the ones who have a consanguinity of the fourth degree. So, consanguinity would not be an impediment to marriage in this case of second cousins.
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I can’t imagine marrying my second cousin, that is just a strange concept.
 
angell1 said:
I can’t imagine marrying my second cousin, that is just a strange concept.
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If you never really knew each other, you probably wouldn’t feel naturally repelled in the same way as other family members.

Someone in my family married someone who turned out to be their cousin (further apart, though). They didn’t discover that until they’d been married for many years and had children, and someone else was doing genealogical research. It’s not surprising given where they’re from (small town, both families going back several generations) but still, it happened.
 
Thank you very much.We(i and my boyfriend/second cousin) say to ours priests that we have sex.We love…This relationship have got feauture…
 
angell1 said:
I can’t imagine marrying my second cousin, that is just a strange concept.
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Not necessarily. The Church allows it. We are all ultimately “cousins” - sons of Adam and Eve - if you go back far enough. Where do you draw the line? The Church says “no” to first cousins (though even this is possible with a dispensation) and “yes” to second cousins. I am already married so this is moot, but there are likely hundreds of women who I don’t know who are my second cousins. I only have 14 first cousins, but I must have literally hundreds of second cousins. My dad has **over 90 first cousins **. I am sure most of them got married. So very likely hundreds and hundreds of second cousins. I know some…but not most. I could have easily met a woman who was one such second cousin and not known it - it probably would have eventually come up but perhaps not until several dates.
(Though this is definitely not the case as my wife and I aren’t even from the same country).
 
I have got many second cousins girls and boys.But i love erotic my second coysin who was now my boyfriend too.I dont know how call him.Second cousin or my boyfriend.Because he was this two for me.We have sex many times with my second cousun/my boyfriend but the problem was sometimes the sex become as sex in porns.I think you know when i mean the sex was as sex as sex in porn movies.We like this but we we want to have love sex not sex as porn movies.What we must do?
 
Attactos said:
I have got many second cousins girls and boys.But i love erotic my second coysin who was now my boyfriend too.I dont know how call him.Second cousin or my boyfriend.Because he was this two for me.We have sex many times with my second cousun/my boyfriend but the problem was sometimes the sex become as sex in porns.I think you know when i mean the sex was as sex as sex in porn movies.We like this but we we want to have love sex not sex as porn movies.What we must do?
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You must stop having sex outside of marriage, as it is a serious sin and you endanger each other’s souls. Get to confession and stop having sex with him. And if you find you can’t resist the temptation, then you need to stay away from him.

You are in my prayers.

-Fr ACEGC
 
Attactos said:
I have got many second cousins girls and boys.But i love erotic my second coysin who was now my boyfriend too.I dont know how call him.Second cousin or my boyfriend.Because he was this two for me.We have sex many times with my second cousun/my boyfriend but the problem was sometimes the sex become as sex in porns.I think you know when i mean the sex was as sex as sex in porn movies.We like this but we we want to have love sex not sex as porn movies.What we must do?
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That should be obvious. If you want to have a truly loving, mutually self-giving relationship, you need to be married. Sex outside of marriage is like porn because it’s outside the sacrament of marriage and it doesn’t have the Grace that God bestows on a sacramental marriage. To some extent, you are using one another for physical pleasure, without a loving commitment to each other. What’s worse is, as practicing Christians, you know better. You are not concerned for what’s best for one another spiritually and emotionally. You’re only worried about the physical pleasure. How is that any different than porn? When you watch porn, you don’t care about the people you see. You aren’t concerned for their souls, their dignity, or their well-being. You’re only concerned about yourself and getting the pleasure you desire. There’s no love in that.

I think you should break up with your cousin for the time being. It doesn’t seem like you’re ready for a proper courtship yet. You should go to confession and pray for God to show you what love between a man and a woman is supposed to be like. You will save yourself a lot of pain that way. If it’s mean to be with your cousin, it will be. But neither of you sound ready now.
 
I say to my second cousin/boyfriend and he agree to we stop have sex for now because and his priests he say this…But we remain couple…We love so much.
 
If he is orthodox and agree to havent got sex again before marriage you havent got problem…
 
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