Religious Ed teacher telling kids there is no Santa

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MomaMary8 said:
Until you know for certain that her intent was malicious, how about erring on the side of charity? Nine years old = 4th grade? This RE teacher may be a volunteer with kids who figured it out by 6 or 7 and never dreamed of a child not knowing the truth at the age of nine.
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No, I never insinuated that her intent was malicious at all. I will however, check it out and ask how this came about. I don’t think there is anything uncharitable about that. There is no way I am going to go in to the religious ed office with ‘guns blazing’ demanding an answer, but there is a diplomatic way to ask how it transpired. It may be ridiculous to some that kids have the notion of Santa at all past the age of 6, but frankly, I really don’t understand that logic. Kids always figure it out in due time when they are ready, which is perfect for a talk with parents about it. I think it enhances rather than takes away the spirit of Christmas and takes nothing away from the birth of Christ. I think also, depending on the circumstances of the subject coming up, that it is up to the parents of the children when to have that talk when the child is ready, not the religious ed teacher.
 
Phemie said:
I knew one family where the youngest believed in Santa in junior high. Her parents went to great lengths to keep her believing and she was very upset with her classmates who didn’t believe. Personally I always thought that was setting her up to be the butt of merciless teasing but “not my kid, not my decision.”

I didn’t grow up with the Santa myth. In my family, Baby Jesus filled the stockings. Everything else came fron humans with names.
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If on the other hand a child of Jr. High age still believes in Santa, it is definitely the parents who are encouraging and promoting this which I do believe is just as wrong and actually harmful to the child’s psyche. Kids usually figure out anywhere between the ages of 8 and 10 ish on average…ON THEIR OWN. Never have known anyone in Jr. High that still believes in Santa. Kids have the maturity to figure it out long before that I would think.
 
If the teacher had thought fast enough, she should have said, “Ask your parents. People have different beliefs on this subject. It is not my place to say.”

But I don’t think she should be required to say something that she felt was wrong.
 
What is with the whole idea of telling children a big fat man in a suit gives presents to children all over the world, when it is actually Jesus the Son of God’s Birthday and the Anniversary of Jesus becoming Man for us.

I don’t see Jesus in the Bible going around telling kids about a big fat man in a red suit, He spread the Good News of His Father.

The modern world has gone so commercial,
Easter is all about chocolate eggs in the secular world and not Jesus Resurrection.

All Souls is all about Halloween and costumes in the secular world.

Sometimes the commercial aspect of each of these Holy Feast days completely overshadows the religious and spiritual aspect of each.

Sometimes Jesus is completely forgotten by the modern world.

I know people disagree, but it would be much benefit as a child to be told we give each other surprise presents in honour of Jesus Birthday at Christmas, rather than possibly childhood obsessing about materialistic things at Christmas, rather than thanksgiving to the Son of God.
For some there is only Santa, and no Jesus (aetheist households).
For some Santa is replacing Jesus (lapsed Catholics who drop mass but keep up the santa tradition).
There do exist Christmas situations where kids idolise santa and forget about Jesus completely, it does happen,

They are going to be told the truth someday,
Instead: To be able to focus solely on Jesus completely and Heaven from a young age at Christmas would be powerful.
 
Teelynn said:
Our just turned 9 year old granddaughter came home from religious ed crying that the teacher told them there was no such thing as Santa or Rudolf or any of it. It was all a myth. I am intending to find out exactly what the circumstances are around this incident. Did one of the kids in class maybe ask her if Santa was real or not? Or did she just decide on her own the kids need to know this is just a myth? I don’t yet know the details. But what upsets me is really two fold. Especially if she is one of those people who believes in total ‘reality’ thinking for children and came out with this declaration without any prompting, how does she know where a child is in their maturing into the knowledge of ‘The Santa Story’? Both of my older grandkids of course are fully aware of the truth, but we told them the story of course at appropriate ages about St. Nicholas that was so kind and generous to the children, and was in fact the real Santa. And that Christmas because of the birth of Christ is a truly mystical time of year because of that. Not that the birth of Christ is something ‘make believe’ at all don’t misunderstand, but because it is such a miracle that Christ did in fact come to us as a baby in the manger, it is truly a miraculous and mystical, wonderful and joyous time of year, and that many miracles do indeed happen at Christmas. They were not TRAUMATIZED in the least bit. Neither was their Mom when I told her as a child.

Secondly, these grandkids of mine have gone through very some very tough times in their family dynamics recently, and this was the LAST thing my poor little girl needed at this time. Not that the Santa thing is really life shattering, but she is almost at the age where this will be coming up anyway, and if this teacher knew what she has already in the last few weeks been through, I’m at least hoping she would have been wise enough to somehow gloss over the subject.

And I guess my third question is: Why would the Santa story take away from the Birth of Christ unless the Birth of Christ was not emphasized by the family as being number one? Heck, I even remember Mother Angelica on one of her Christmas programs asking one of the little ones about Santa.

And to be fair, I have kind of a bad taste in my mouth about this Parish’s religious ed program, because when I had my daughter there, one of her teachers told them that NOTHING happened when they die. No Heaven, Hell or Purgatory…just NOTHINGNESS. Ha!! Believe me, I went marching down there and demanded that teacher be dismissed for teaching atheism vs. Catholicism…and thank the Lord, she was. Can’t even compare that incident with this one, of course, but I wonder what it is about some of these religious ed teachers? We will probably have to tell her the story of St. Nicholas before she was really ready thanks to this woman, and she has been through quite enough within the last few weeks for a child that just turned 9. So…yep…I am more than a little upset. Not sure how much of a deal to make out of it, or just to forget it and chalk it up to just another set back.
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9 years old??? Usually kids nowadays figure it out by at least 7 or sooner. I would not worry too much I doubt she will be traumatized.
 
I was a born skeptic and never bought the “Santa thing”, and always knew that “rabbits don’t lay eggs”. That being said, my wife and I were up front with our children from the start. We told them there was a St. Nicholas long ago and stories got built up around him that are largely not true, but many people enjoy believing them. We also told them to NOT interfere with the beliefs of others on that issue. Especially since my brothers children believed in all of it almost to their teens.

The Religious ed teacher was way out of line sticking her 2 cents into it either way.
She could have easily said that “beliefs on this vary, ask your parents for details”.
 
Teelynn said:
Our just turned 9 year old granddaughter came home from religious ed crying that the teacher told them there was no such thing as Santa or Rudolf or any of it. It was all a myth. I am intending to find out exactly what the circumstances are around this incident. Did one of the kids in class maybe ask her if Santa was real or not? Or did she just decide on her own the kids need to know this is just a myth? I don’t yet know the details. But what upsets me is really two fold. Especially if she is one of those people who believes in total ‘reality’ thinking for children and came out with this declaration without any prompting, how does she know where a child is in their maturing into the knowledge of ‘The Santa Story’? Both of my older grandkids of course are fully aware of the truth, but we told them the story of course at appropriate ages about St. Nicholas that was so kind and generous to the children, and was in fact the real Santa. And that Christmas because of the birth of Christ is a truly mystical time of year because of that. Not that the birth of Christ is something ‘make believe’ at all don’t misunderstand, but because it is such a miracle that Christ did in fact come to us as a baby in the manger, it is truly a miraculous and mystical, wonderful and joyous time of year, and that many miracles do indeed happen at Christmas. They were not TRAUMATIZED in the least bit. Neither was their Mom when I told her as a child.

Secondly, these grandkids of mine have gone through very some very tough times in their family dynamics recently, and this was the LAST thing my poor little girl needed at this time. Not that the Santa thing is really life shattering, but she is almost at the age where this will be coming up anyway, and if this teacher knew what she has already in the last few weeks been through, I’m at least hoping she would have been wise enough to somehow gloss over the subject.

And I guess my third question is: Why would the Santa story take away from the Birth of Christ unless the Birth of Christ was not emphasized by the family as being number one? Heck, I even remember Mother Angelica on one of her Christmas programs asking one of the little ones about Santa.

And to be fair, I have kind of a bad taste in my mouth about this Parish’s religious ed program, because when I had my daughter there, one of her teachers told them that NOTHING happened when they die. No Heaven, Hell or Purgatory…just NOTHINGNESS. Ha!! Believe me, I went marching down there and demanded that teacher be dismissed for teaching atheism vs. Catholicism…and thank the Lord, she was. Can’t even compare that incident with this one, of course, but I wonder what it is about some of these religious ed teachers? We will probably have to tell her the story of St. Nicholas before she was really ready thanks to this woman, and she has been through quite enough within the last few weeks for a child that just turned 9. So…yep…I am more than a little upset. Not sure how much of a deal to make out of it, or just to forget it and chalk it up to just another set back.
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I really am sorry you are so upset. When I wasn’t happy with what my children were taught in CCD I volunteered to teach. Maybe you could teach a class or at least aid in the class. I’m sure they would love the help!
 
I stopped believing in Santa around that age, 8 or 9. Something similar actually happened at my church, a religious education teacher told the class that Christmas actually had nothing to do with Santa, but St. Nicholas is a saint, and I little girl started crying all because Santa wasn’t the real meaning of Christmas, this was in the 3rd class. I don’t see anything wrong with this, however, I do agree that it’s not the teachers place to say that there is no Santa. I hate to say this, and sound so harsh, but she’ll be fine, she’ll surely forget it by Christmas, and if not, you could always try to make her feel more mature because she’s in on the secret? She’ll forget it by next year though, and by next year or the year after that, she probably wouldn’t have believed anymore anyway.
 
How can we expect a child to nuance between Santa and flying reindeer and Joseph of Cupertino who flew or padre pio who bilocated. Why do we expect a nine year old to trust us in theological matters but not who gives them a present…🤷
 
Teelynn said:
Our just turned 9 year old granddaughter came home from religious ed crying that the teacher told them there was no such thing as Santa or Rudolf or any of it. It was all a myth. I am intending to find out exactly what the circumstances are around this incident. Did one of the kids in class maybe ask her if Santa was real or not? Or did she just decide on her own the kids need to know this is just a myth? I don’t yet know the details. But what upsets me is really two fold. Especially if she is one of those people who believes in total ‘reality’ thinking for children and came out with this declaration without any prompting, how does she know where a child is in their maturing into the knowledge of ‘The Santa Story’? Both of my older grandkids of course are fully aware of the truth, but we told them the story of course at appropriate ages about St. Nicholas that was so kind and generous to the children, and was in fact the real Santa. And that Christmas because of the birth of Christ is a truly mystical time of year because of that. Not that the birth of Christ is something ‘make believe’ at all don’t misunderstand, but because it is such a miracle that Christ did in fact come to us as a baby in the manger, it is truly a miraculous and mystical, wonderful and joyous time of year, and that many miracles do indeed happen at Christmas. They were not TRAUMATIZED in the least bit. Neither was their Mom when I told her as a child.

Secondly, these grandkids of mine have gone through very some very tough times in their family dynamics recently, and this was the LAST thing my poor little girl needed at this time. Not that the Santa thing is really life shattering, but she is almost at the age where this will be coming up anyway, and if this teacher knew what she has already in the last few weeks been through, I’m at least hoping she would have been wise enough to somehow gloss over the subject.

And I guess my third question is: Why would the Santa story take away from the Birth of Christ unless the Birth of Christ was not emphasized by the family as being number one? Heck, I even remember Mother Angelica on one of her Christmas programs asking one of the little ones about Santa.

And to be fair, I have kind of a bad taste in my mouth about this Parish’s religious ed program, because when I had my daughter there, one of her teachers told them that NOTHING happened when they die. No Heaven, Hell or Purgatory…just NOTHINGNESS. Ha!! Believe me, I went marching down there and demanded that teacher be dismissed for teaching atheism vs. Catholicism…and thank the Lord, she was. Can’t even compare that incident with this one, of course, but I wonder what it is about some of these religious ed teachers? We will probably have to tell her the story of St. Nicholas before she was really ready thanks to this woman, and she has been through quite enough within the last few weeks for a child that just turned 9. So…yep…I am more than a little upset. Not sure how much of a deal to make out of it, or just to forget it and chalk it up to just another set back.
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You say she’s been through a lot. Maybe now is the time to teach her to take comfort in Jesus. After all, unlike Santa Claus, Jesus is real and, as a matter of fact, even better than Santa. Santa brings gifts once a year. Jesus gives of Himself at Mass every single day of the year. Santa only brings gifts if you’re on good behavior. Jesus loves unconditionally and is ready to give Himself to us no matter what. Santa says don’t pout or cry. Jesus says, Come unto Me all who are heavily burdened.

Then tell her about the real St. Nicholas and talk about how giving to others makes us more like Jesus because He is always giving of Himself.
 
cjforJesus said:
9 years old??? Usually kids nowadays figure it out by at least 7 or sooner. I would not worry too much I doubt she will be traumatized.
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I agree. All our Sunday school children are well versed in St. Nicholas(which is where Santa came from in the FIRST PLACE) and have no trouble with the story.

As a side note, one of our 5th grader was just told by his mother that she is “santa” not a real person who flies around the world. He’s still furious at her for “lying to him” for years. A full week later she asked if he had forgiven her for lying about Santa, and he said no.

So it can get worse.
I kind of feel that if that’s the WORST thin a Sunday school teacher says in class…you’re blessed. I have more of an issue with Sunday school teachers who have no clue what the church says about anything in our faith. No that’s a huge problem.
 
This was a **major **issue for our family when our children were very young.

My wife grew up without Santa Claus. My mother-in-law, for whatever reason, didn’t want to “lie” to her children and doesn’t like decorating for Christmas and doesn’t like the secularization of Christmas (this past weekend my wife and I made my MIL a beautiful Christmas wreath from greens cut from her property. She loved it. But she refuses to hang it up).

My wife absolutely insisted that our children have Santa Claus. She refused to deny them that magical part of childhood.

And every Christmas we had to badger my MIL into promising that she would not in any way, shape, or form tell them about Santa. And there was always that threat that she’d passive-aggressively unintentionally just by accident let it slip out.

Anyway, I’m 48 years old, and for the life of me I can’t understand why somewhere in the back of my imagination I still can’t help to believe that Santa is real.
 
I personally would have preferred to have been told people give presents to celebrate Christmas when I was a child. And been led to focus on Jesus becoming Man for js, instead of this complete commercialisation and materialisation that the modern culture has put on Christmas.
It would have been more inspiring to be told miracles of the saints than made up stories that can lead to materialism.
 
This is something that I really don’t want to put out here, because I’m not sure of it myself, and I know that it’s usually not the case, but I’ve heard that parents have made the argument “If I lie to my child about Santa, then how can I expect them to believe me when I tell them about God.” Now, I believe in God, obviously, and I grew up with Santa, but in a way I kind of see where someone would be coming from, because as a kid, I thought about it, and it didn’t even have anything to do with Santa. I remember just thinking a few times, “What if this God thing, this Jesus thing, what if it’s all made up? What if it’s just a lie by adults, but they seem to believe, but what if they’re faking?”
 
Blessedwithfive said:
Sorry this happened.

As a teacher I believe it is very hard for children to understand and believe the true presence of Christ and the whole resurrection story if they still believe in made up stories like Santa and the tooth fairy. Separating fact from fiction is hard for kids at this age. I think kids that still believe in myths like these probably should not be receiving Communion.

In my experience kids know (or want to know) the truth about Santa by first grade. 🤷
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I agree. I can’t for the life of me understand this obsession with Santa. Secular people need their own reason for the season, but surely Christians should avoid that nonsense and teach children about the faith. I think the teacher was right to tell them the truth given it was a RE class. It made sense in that context.
 
Contra_Mundum said:
I agree. I can’t for the life of me understand this obsession with Santa. Secular people need their own reason for the season, but surely Christians should avoid that nonsense and teach children about the faith. I think the teacher was right to tell them the truth given it was a RE class. It made sense in that context.
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This is merely your opinion. Santa Claus, Kris Kringle, Father Christmas and so on are folk traditions based on a very real saint and invented by religious parents, not “secular” ones. Why should the way parents choose to treat their folk traditions with their child be something for a religious ed teacher to decide?

Would it kill them to butt out of it? Why is it some kindness for the religious education teacher to broach this topic in total ignorance of the family situation? If it is not a kind time to speak their own version of the truth, then why do it?
 
on_the_hill said:
This was a **major **issue for our family when our children were very young.

My wife grew up without Santa Claus. My mother-in-law, for whatever reason, didn’t want to “lie” to her children and doesn’t like decorating for Christmas and doesn’t like the secularization of Christmas (this past weekend my wife and I made my MIL a beautiful Christmas wreath from greens cut from her property. She loved it. But she refuses to hang it up).

My wife absolutely insisted that our children have Santa Claus. She refused to deny them that magical part of childhood.

And every Christmas we had to badger my MIL into promising that she would not in any way, shape, or form tell them about Santa. And there was always that threat that she’d passive-aggressively unintentionally just by accident let it slip out.

Anyway, I’m 48 years old, and for the life of me I can’t understand why somewhere in the back of my imagination I still can’t help to believe that Santa is real.
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appalachianhistory.net/2014/11/santa-train-pulls-into-town.html

I believe more as a mom than I did as a kid to be honest. There’s no way to provide all that comes to us without Good St. Nick.

It is not a requirement to do Santa but it isn’t wrong either. Growing up I knew Jesus was the reason for Christmas and my kids do too. Santa has never caused confusion for my family. Midnight Mass is the whole focus of the season but Santa provides added joy for the little ones. It’s magical.

The teacher was out of line regardless of her reasons. I’ve been asked by other people’s kids before and it is easy to answer honestly without denying his existence either. I think it’s fine to not play Santa but no one should guilt trip parents that do or ruin it for the kids that believe.
 
alphawoman said:
I have two thoughts that aren’t necessarily mutually exclusive.
  1. The Santa myth is a dominant cultural narrative among Catholic families. It is the responsibility of parents, not teachers, to determine if and when such a story is maintained or revealed.
  2. We, personally, do not do Santa. I could discuss why, but that isn’t the point of the thread, and the reasons for this decision are based on factors specific to our family. I have always been conscious to teach my son that other children value the story, and not to disrupt their enjoyment. It’s just not hard to have a respectful live and let live philosophy, and the teacher could have consulted with families first.
For us, it was convenient that my son, at 2, said that the whole concept of Santa was ridiculous after a long question and answer session where he grilled me on the physics of flying reindeer and the legality of breaking into people’s homes.
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Your post totally gave me a laugh.
 
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