Religious indifferentism, family is catholic in name only

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catholix_cool

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Hey brothers and sisters in Christ,

I’ve been a practicing Catholic since I was 14 yrs old (I’m now 24) and only 2 years I had fallen away and thankfully came back home. Before then I went through the catholic conveyor belt (baptism to confirmation). Then when I was 21, I left for 2 years because I was angry, but finally resolved that with God and accepting that our Lord really does know all and to follow His commandments, trusting in Him.

In the past I’ve tried to directly evangelize my family and had often hostile reactions, even to the point of being kicked out and having opportunities undermined. [that’s all in the past which I have forgiven .] These days I have been following the example St. Monica praying for St. Augustine. I’ve been praying both the Rosary (scriptural rosary) and the Divine Chaplet of Mercy. Also I’ve decided to be completely submissive to not only God but to express my submission by example of submitting to whatever my parents request or going above & beyond if they complain about something. (Man there is peace in the house these days)

I am still having a difficult time dealing with the fact I’m a lone ranger, so to speak within my immediate family. (not even my extended family is religious)

How does one deal with the religious indifferentism of my parents and two little sisters? (I’m the only and oldest boy in the family)
 
At age 24 it is hopefully possible for you to explore what spirituality groups and bible studies are available with young men of the same age? It doesn’t even have to be in your own parish. You can search for what is available in nearby parishes and call and ask questions if you like.

I know it made a tremendous difference in my faith when I found groups in parishes that were on the same page with regards to growing in their faith. It is very supportive!
 
If your family is not asking or making you miss mass or anything else you do that they don’t do, you can just lead by being an example. You will not convert them by preaching AT them, but you may by them seeing the impact your faith has on your own life.
 
Dorothy said:
At age 24 it is hopefully possible for you to explore what spirituality groups and bible studies are available with young men of the same age? It doesn’t even have to be in your own parish. You can search for what is available in nearby parishes and call and ask questions if you like.

I know it made a tremendous difference in my faith when I found groups in parishes that were on the same page with regards to growing in their faith. It is very supportive!
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Dorothy I do appreciate the suggestion, but there aren’t any spirituality groups or bibles studies in my area around my age group. Also I’ve tried non-catholic bible study groups and I always seem to **** everyone off and get some sense after a few group meetings I’m not invited when I do show up.

The friends I do have are in their 60’s plus from when I made my Crisillo a few years back. I meet with them once a week for small group, which I’m thankful for.
 
With regard to your family, all I can suggest is that you pray for them (which I do for mine) and as already said, try to humbly live the faith.

As for learning the faith, apart from CAF and Catholics Online, there are (as I am discovering) quite a few resources online. For example I just completed a 90 day Great adventure Bible Study which supplied readings (and a link to them online) and had the opportunity to share our insights on a discussion board, if we so wished. If you google The Great Adventure Bible Study and Jeff Calvins you will find it.

Keep surfing CAF or even ask the question, and a whole group of fellow travelers will happily give you online resources to help you along the way. The options will be varied, so I would suggest going for what appeals and noting the resources that don’t in order to visit them at a later date. Oh, and as there is a lot of knowledge and enthusiasm, it may help to narrow the request e.g. Bible Study, saints, gifts of the Holy Spirit etc.

May God bless you.
 
catholix_cool said:
Dorothy I do appreciate the suggestion, but there aren’t any spirituality groups or bibles studies in my area around my age group. Also I’ve tried non-catholic bible study groups and I always seem to **** everyone off and get some sense after a few group meetings I’m not invited when I do show up.

The friends I do have are in their 60’s plus from when I made my Crisillo a few years back. I meet with them once a week for small group, which I’m thankful for.
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It is possible to do some online bible studies, I believe. Also, this forum is a good place to come when you want to talk with people who share your faith. I am in your age group and do wish there were more places around my area where I can meet with others. But I just try to connect with people from my parish who are my age (it helps that I went to school with some of them).

In regard to having an indifferent family, I deal with a similar situation. I have a sister who almost seems completely indifferent to what I believe and she grew up the same way I did.
As someone said above, preaching at them will not help. So, instead, I just mention it here and there (no pushing from me). I invite her to come to Mass with me. It’s all about gentleness. And even if the indifference doesn’t change, that doesn’t mean you can’t show them (evangelize them through action) how your faith has made you grow as a person.
 
Praying for you and your family.

I want to encourage you to follow the Holy Spirit. Maybe you are meant to be a Lone Ranger. Remembering back over the years when I was out wandering the “Wilderness” it was the Lone Rangers who spoke the truth to me and helped me find my way.
 
Thanks everyone for your suggestions so far, I really appreciate it 🙂
 
Hey Katholixcool,good for you Sir. your fervor for the Church, Sacraments etc. is refreshing…not everyone, even our family members is going to have the zest for the richness of the Catholic Faith. Love your family, and it sounds like you are…love them and be peaceful. they only know what they know. I’m sure they are great people otherwise or they wouldn’t have produced such a fantastic son. your enthusiam for the faith will be infectious hopefully but my suggestion is to try not to lament their seemingly dry disposition about what we hold so dear…PAX
 
I gather (and correct me if I am wrong) you still live with your parents?

You can’t change people, they have to want to change. Preaching and trying to lead people is only going to drive them more away and become angry.

I like that you backed off and things have settled down in the house, who wants to live as if you have to cut the tension with a knife, right?

I would be concerned about yourself and living the way you want… And pray for those loved ones whom you desire to have more of a relationship with The Lord. Ask Him to open the eyes of their heart to see Him and His Glory!!

If they see how you live and pray and honor The Lord maybe they will want that to, lead by example they say, right?

Also don’t judge your family, as you said yourself you lost your way once. Love them, pray for them and respect them as they still are your family!

God bless you and your family!
 
The thought stroke me as I read your post. Jesus spent thirty years in a hidden life working , being obedient to His family. His real ministry only lasted three years, and look what He accomplished in those three years. When raising my children I was very serious about teaching my kids about my faith and I didn.t want them to be misguided, or commit sin, even though I knew they would. I had much to learn. For one, Faith is a gift, and it comes directly from Jesus. Teaching and study and even much prayer can not give it directly, but it can dispose one to receive the grace of conversion. God must move first and He does answer prayer, at His own time. I found that the more I insisted on faith, the more they rebelled, and boy did they rebel I didn’t realize that I was playing “Savior” a mistake that many of us make, there is only one, Jesus Christ.

1 “Fathers don’t aggravate your children” When we are born we are born in sin, thats why we have to be reborn again thru baptism.(usually when we are infants) At some time after we have to make a real commitment. This involves an encounter with Christ. Upon our turning away from sin and turning to Christ giving Him charge over our life the Holy Spirit is released in our lives. Until this happens, we are dealing with rebels. We are rebels from birth. We can’t expect the children to give what they don’t have, and when we do we encounter frustration, anger, and general rebellion, on the part of the children.we as consciencious parents experience the same frustration this rebellion has even led some children to kill their parents, we read this off and on in the media. The devil has a tremendous grip on humanity, and this is why Jesus came to destroy his reign. When I learned this truth experientially, then I was able to find peace among rebels( the children I loved) and God helped me to deal with the situations effectively. I am still praying, and loving, and living my Christian life, hoping for their real conversion. There is only one Savior, and it isn’t me!
 
Linybaby said:
I gather (and correct me if I am wrong) you still live with your parents?

You can’t change people, they have to want to change. Preaching and trying to lead people is only going to drive them more away and become angry.

I like that you backed off and things have settled down in the house, who wants to live as if you have to cut the tension with a knife, right?

I would be concerned about yourself and living the way you want… And pray for those loved ones whom you desire to have more of a relationship with The Lord. Ask Him to open the eyes of their heart to see Him and His Glory!!

If they see how you live and pray and honor The Lord maybe they will want that to, lead by example they say, right?

Also don’t judge your family, as you said yourself you lost your way once. Love them, pray for them and respect them as they still are your family!

God bless you and your family!
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Yes I do live with my parents. I’ve began to just trust that God has chosen me out from the world and whatever that purpose may be will be fulfilled by simply obeying whatever my parents say, ignoring belittling that they dish out, and just live today as if it is my last. So I’ve been living as if today were my last.

Thanks!
 
ynotzap said:
The thought stroke me as I read your post. Jesus spent thirty years in a hidden life working , being obedient to His family. His real ministry only lasted three years, and look what He accomplished in those three years. When raising my children I was very serious about teaching my kids about my faith and I didn.t want them to be misguided, or commit sin, even though I knew they would. I had much to learn. For one, Faith is a gift, and it comes directly from Jesus. Teaching and study and even much prayer can not give it directly, but it can dispose one to receive the grace of conversion. God must move first and He does answer prayer, at His own time. I found that the more I insisted on faith, the more they rebelled, and boy did they rebel I didn’t realize that I was playing “Savior” a mistake that many of us make, there is only one, Jesus Christ.

1 “Fathers don’t aggravate your children” When we are born we are born in sin, thats why we have to be reborn again thru baptism.(usually when we are infants) At some time after we have to make a real commitment. This involves an encounter with Christ. Upon our turning away from sin and turning to Christ giving Him charge over our life the Holy Spirit is released in our lives. Until this happens, we are dealing with rebels. We are rebels from birth. We can’t expect the children to give what they don’t have, and when we do we encounter frustration, anger, and general rebellion, on the part of the children.we as consciencious parents experience the same frustration this rebellion has even led some children to kill their parents, we read this off and on in the media. The devil has a tremendous grip on humanity, and this is why Jesus came to destroy his reign. When I learned this truth experientially, then I was able to find peace among rebels( the children I loved) and God helped me to deal with the situations effectively. I am still praying, and loving, and living my Christian life, hoping for their real conversion. There is only one Savior, and it isn’t me!
Click to expand...
“playing “Savior” a mistake that many of us make, there is only one, Jesus Christ.” Hahaha I never seen myself playing “Savior” before my falling away, not until I returned. I’m keeping that as one of my quotes. 🙂

Also I’ve decided to keep the 10 commandments,especially following “Thou shall honor thy father and mother” no matter what it is, no matter how unjust I think it is, or belittling I find it. Ever since I’ve been obedient to this one commandment from our Lord with my daily Rosary and Divine Chaplet, peace has really been felt at home. Even my parents noticed a difference from what I’m told from my grandmother on my mothers side. When I went to apologize after saying some hurtful things when I had fallen away, thankfully I was forgiven. 😃
 
Thanks for making this thread, I’ll be reading the responses. Just so you know, I’m in the same situation as you, the child is more observant than the parents.
 
I can understand your eagerness to convert your family…but for a person to be converted god needs to grant that person the grace of conversion…and the person needs to accept it and allow god in their heart, soul and life…

Ask god to convert them…he is the only one who can do it…and ask god to help your family be open and willing to be converted
 
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