Religious Life for Married Couples

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Is there a religious order for married couples? If marriage is on par with holy orders it would seem that religious life for married couples would be a viable option supported by the Church.

This is not practical for couples raising children but it is for older couples with adult children. There is no reason why married couples couldn’t enter monastic life together and live as husband and wife. This type of spirituality shouldn’t be restricted only to celibate people. Otherwise, marriage is an impediment to holiness and intimacy with God.

Any thoughts?
 
Monasticism or monachism, literally the act of “dwelling alone” (Greek monos, monazein, monachos), has come to denote the mode of life pertaining to persons living in seclusion from the world, under religious vows and subject to a fixed rule, as monks, friars, nuns, or in general as religious. The basic idea of monasticism in all its varieties is seclusion or withdrawal from the world or society.

Since marriage and the family are the basic components of society then it would be impossible to live as a married couple under the proper context of a monastic setting.

The family home is the monastery for a married couple.
 
Married couples are considered one flesh so it is not inconceivable to “dwell alone” away from society but as a couple.

Religious life spirituality shouldn’t be the exclusive domain of celibate people.
 
Vocations>Religious Life for Married Couples
Mokey said:
Married couples are considered one flesh so it is not inconceivable to “dwell alone” away from society but as a couple.
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Religious life spirituality shouldn’t be the exclusive domain of celibate people.

There are oblates and third orders of religious orders- for lay people who are attracted to that order’s spirituality, but feel called to live in the world as well. These oblates and third orders are often bigger than the monastic orders themselves- so the spirituality of religious life certainly isn’t exclusive to celibate people.

Married couples are designed to be in the community- not withdrawn. I have never met a couple with a healthy relationship who detaches themselves from all their friends and goes their own way. Ironically, however, many of those who I have seen do this considered themselves devout Catholics. They thought they had everything they needed- now that they had found someone of the opposite sex to be with. I suspect most people really do this because they are very introverted people and want to run away from the world. They read about saints like St. Anthony of the Desert, and use their faith to justify what in reality is an emotional disfunction.

I wouldn’t have a problem with this if I saw good fruits coming of situations that are similar to this- from people with the mindset who would be likely to find this acceptable. Sure, they stay devout in their own faith, but do they help promote the faith? From what I have seen, they do within their family, and maybe among their close friends (if they have any), but that’s it. There is fruit- but not much. They do not die to themselves because they have both worlds- both the religious life and the married life. It is very good for everyone- married, clergy, and religious- to strive for holiness. It is very good that religious orders have come up with oblates and third orders to help those who are secular continue to grow in holiness. A problem they run into- but it seems many—even- or perhaps especially- theologically conservative (I don’t like the term, but I don’t consider this an orthodox position, so I don’t think it applies here) fail to see- is that we still need people to leave the world behind and join the religious life. Many who do realize it think “that’s great- but not for me- I want to get married, therefore God **must **be callintg me to marriage, right?” Not necessarily. People tend to fare better if they do what God wants them to do, rather than tell God what they are going to do. Celibacy is a beautiful gift to the Church- and it is one that just because you find someone of the opposite sex with whom you share a mutual attraction doesn’t mean you’re not called to it. Jesus didn’t call bums who were sitting around with nothing better to do. He called responsible men who were hard at work- who took a big risk by following him.

I grew up in a church where celibacy was frowned upon- I converted to Catholicism as an adult- so I have seen both sides of the coin. Yes the world needs married people to be good workers and parents and community members. The world also needs some to be oblates and members of third orders, to bring the call of holiness to the world. Both of those things are important- but the world needs celibate men and women to join religious communities to serve the Church in that way. The number of devout (and big) Catholic families is growing. We don’t even have enough priests and religious to care for the laity we have. Luckily people are answering the call to the priesthood- it would be nice if most parishes had multiple priests (and not just the big parishes) again- we could- if fewer people were so selfish. The world needs celibate men and women now more than ever- to show our selfish, sex-crazed, extravagant, prideful society that in dying to ourselves and giving our lives totally to God, we find true happiness.

There is much less of a sense of Sacrifice today- of giving things up for the sake of the Kingdom of God. Everyone is called to be holy and devout and to pray and to fast and give alms. Maybe their ought to be some communities for families to gather and grow in faith with one another. That, however, is no substitute for the celibate religious community- and we had better not pretend that it can be. In these days when society tells us we have to be in a relationship that is satisfying (physically and emotionally) at all times, or we are not healthy, we need people to be countercultural and set themselves apart from the world in celibate communities designed to help carry out the mission of saving souls.
 
Mokey said:
Is there a religious order for married couples? If marriage is on par with holy orders it would seem that religious life for married couples would be a viable option supported by the Church.

This is not practical for couples raising children but it is for older couples with adult children. There is no reason why married couples couldn’t enter monastic life together and live as husband and wife. This type of spirituality shouldn’t be restricted only to celibate people. Otherwise, marriage is an impediment to holiness and intimacy with God.

Any thoughts?
Click to expand...
In the Confraternity of Penitents, we have several married couples. We live “in the world” but we live a rule that in some ways matches (or is even more rigorous) than the lives of many Religious today (get a load of our dress code!). We cannot VOW poverty, but we can LIVE it; we must be CHASTE in our condition of life; we are OBEDIENT to our Rule, to our constitutions and to our spiritual directors.

The Secular Franciscan Order, and the Third Order Dominicans and Carmelites also introduce the spirituality of their particular charism into the lives of their lay members.
 
There are many secular orders, including Carmelite, Franciscan, Benedictine, among others - along with apostolates.

In my Carmelite community, there are a few couples who have joined the secular order. It all depends on what your charism is. For example, if you feel called to work with the poor, then you may consider a Franciscan order. If you feel drawn to contemplative life and the writings of St. Teresa of Avila, St. John of the Cross, St. Therese of Lisieux, you may be called to a Carmelite life.
 
The Holy Family Institute is a Secular Institue of Consecrated Life specifically geared towards Married people. While not promising celibacy, they do take vows of poverty, chastity (within the context of marriage), and obedience as part of the Pauline family of religious societies.

Also, couples with adult children used to often go their seperate ways into a monastery and convent (happened in the lives of several saints)

In terms of still living together, some couples (like Mary and Joseph) may feel called to a celibate marriage. While not consumated it is consecrated in a special way to God.

Some Societies of Apostolic life also have compounds where married people can live in Religious Community though not strictly speaking under vows.

But the kind of thing you are talking about is to be most looked for in Secular Institutes, the newest form of consecrated religious life, and I think the one best suited to the kind of thing you mean. As I said, I only know of this one…but look for more in the future. Or start one by yourself and use this one as precedent that married people can participate (not possible in monastic life strictly so called, which is by its nature celibate and gender-segregated…but you could design a sort of coupled-eremitic life that was in many ways similar to monasticism)

vocations-holyfamily.com/

vocations-holyfamily.com/question2.html
 
I have wondered about this same issue myself; yet now I see that our celibate consecrated religious brothers/sisters are meant to be a type of role model to us that live in the world. They, who live “outside” of family life, give us an example or witness of how we could transform the world by living within it as married persons. Since Vatican II, we have come to see that the Church exists to transform the world. Holiness comes from discerning our unique path of holiness ( as a person living in the world, or as a religious or ordained ones) and getting about living this unique call to the full. The context of married life does not have to mimick life in a religious community to be a life that leads to holiness. Depending on God’s unique call or personal vocation, a married couple may be called to live the evangelical councils to the full, i.e. St Thomas More.As married couples we are called to be proxies for Christ into the smallest cell of society- our children’s classrooms, our neighborhoods, etc., while priests are proxies for Christ in the sacraments and the Church, while religious sisters/brothers are prophetic witnesses of what Christ would have us do/be in the world
 
Little Portion Hermitage in Arkansas - the families there simply shine with joy.
 
“Ravens Bread” website is run by an eremetical married couple.

An internet friend of mine just married a wonderful man. She says they’re like a couple of hermits–both quiet and somewhat withdrawn into prayerful attitude. This does not interfere with their marital union, though.

My mom once said that silence within a family is oftentimes a sign of comfort with each other. We never spoke to each other in the car, and that’s the place she said this.

So, yes, silence and solitude can happen within families, especially if autism is present. That doesn’t always have to be a bad thing, either.

Blessings,
Cloisters
 
As a deacon, my spouse and I attended all the formation classes together. I got ordained and she became a lay minister.

We have shared ministries together…as well as separately and it has strengthened the bond of our marriage as well as our spiritual life together. We are even happier now than we thought possible. God is good all the time!
 
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