Can somewhat give me some positive evidence for God and religion. I just don’t think I can believe anymore. It just seems like willful delusion and I don’t see any reason to keep believing in the Bible or God. Thanks
I don’t know if this will help you or not. I became Christian late in 1982, at the tail end of the worst period of my life.
At that immedate time it seemed to make sense, but much of the following year was one of turmoil, involving a period of unemployment, divorce, losing my house, getting a job that often left a lot to be desired. But I got talked by one of the Pastor’s sons into going on a Scripture Union “Beach Mission” at Christmas 1983 at a place called Forest Glen Caravan Park just south of Nambour, Queensland.
To add to my cynicism, I’d recently been chewed out at work by the boss, and I was also feeling out of my depth with this new-fangled “Beach Mission” stuff, with a general lack of confidence, low self esteem, and I was really getting quite cynical about Christianity.
I even remember thinking to myself, “How do I know this is for real, and not just a psychological prop?”.
Anyway, it was the tradition to hold a Bible study each afternoon for about an hour for the leaders (of whom I was supposed to be one). We were sitting under a marquis (large tent) and it was quite warm. I was actually finding it difficult to keep my eyes open and concentrate. But as the leader read some words from the Bible regarding King David, I got hit by what my later Catholic psychiatrist would call a double whammy (he’d experienced them too). The exact words that were highlighted by this “double whammy” were “… a man after my own heart”. This comes from the book of Samuel, around the time Samuel is looking for a replacement for King Saul.
Samuel 13:14: “But now thy kingdom shall not continue: the LORD hath sought him a man after his own heart, and the LORD hath commanded him to be captain over his people, because thou hast not kept that which the LORD commanded thee.”
It was like a breath going through me in waves from head to foot, very pronounced, clearly imposed upon me by some unseen agency, and so shockingly unexpected I just about fell off the seat.
I looked around to see what the others were making of it, and of course they weren’t taking the least bit of notice, for the simple reason it hadn’t happened to them.
When I later related this episode to my old pastor back in my home church, he said the Lord was trying to encourage me, adding, “He knew you’d been through a tough time”.
So there it was. There were two more double whammies over the next couple of years, once referring to St. Paul, and the other to CS Lewis. And they haven’t happened since.
But since that first “double whammy”, I’ve never been able to doubt God exists, or that Christianity is the right religion. Oh, I get angry with Him at times, and I don’t think He’s very fair, and that He can be pretty tough, and is often inexplicable in his actions and modes of doing things, but I cannot deny He exists.
So I think what you need is some sort of direct experience of God, maybe a “double whammy” or perhaps something quite different. It doesn’t mean things will get easy, but at least you’ll know beyond any doubt that God exists.
But be warned - once you’ve had an experience like this, the devil somehow seems to be given permission to emulate the experience. And it can become very tricky, believe me.
By the way, I said there was probably a couple of years between first and last. So How far do you think we move in two years through space? Billions of miles? Yet God was able, on three occasions, to give me a very clear message by highlighting the words he wanted to use by this method. No one else knew about it, and no one else experienced it at the time. But despite the enormous distance; despite the speed at which we were moving through space (about a million miles a day for a start just going around the sun), He knew exactly where i was sitting, what was about to be said, and was able to highlight it for one individual without giving Himself away to a single other soul.
That’s what I call Big Brother.
