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SaraJones
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Hiya. Yes I guess my aunt is. I do learn a great deal from her. I just have so much to learn. You all seem so far ahead of me. I’m trying to catch up in spirit, mind and body.
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SaraJones
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Does anyone pray outside, ie at a grotto in their garden?
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Aineiora
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Hi Sara
My daughter does. There’s a grotto to Our Lady at her college in a beautiful wooded area that many of the students go to. I know that you are only in high school, but have you thought of where (and if) you might attend college? My daughter just graduated from Thomas Aquinas College yesterday (yeah!) and it was there that she got much support and affirmation for her vocation and she also was able to explore the many different religious communities to find where God was truly calling her to be. Thomas Aquinas College has an impressive percentage of alumni that have become priests/brothers and religious. Plus, they do an excellent job in faith formation. You should check them out.
On another note, everyone please send out your prayers for my dear daughter who enters Carmel on Ascension Thursday. Thanks in advance!
God bless you Sara!
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SaraJones
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Aenoira,
No, I haven’t raised it yet with my mother. We’re currently trying to determine how to make homeschooling work.
We have a grotto in our back yard, which I will go to pray or read by. It’s so uplifting.
Your daughter is prayed for! How is it going for her? Is she nervous? This may sound silly but does she need a dowry? I’m told that some convents require dowries. What does she “pack”? Are you allowed to visit her?
Every good wish,
Sara
No, I haven’t raised it yet with my mother. We’re currently trying to determine how to make homeschooling work.
We have a grotto in our back yard, which I will go to pray or read by. It’s so uplifting.
Your daughter is prayed for! How is it going for her? Is she nervous? This may sound silly but does she need a dowry? I’m told that some convents require dowries. What does she “pack”? Are you allowed to visit her?
Every good wish,
Sara
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Aineiora
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Good morning Sara,
Thank you for your kind words. My daughter’s entrance to Carmel was yesterday and it was so very beautiful. It was more uplifting and moving than we could have possibly imagined. Just before her entrance, there was a Solemn High Mass that was so very lovely. The big surprise was that two of the mothers of young postulents were there and gave us much moral support (and instruction on what to do next). I can’t explain how much I appreciatedthem and needed them there for me. We had a quick goodbye at the turn (about 10 minutes, so it was quick pain–like ripping off a bandaid), with lots of crying from her parents and aunt & uncle…long final hugs, kisses and murmers of love-- it was kind of a blur, but mostly I remember how she was so very happy and just beaming with joy. She asked the Monsignor for a blessing, then we rang the bell at the turn and her Sisters greeted her at the Cloister door with a simple, beautiful ceremony of which we caught a glimpse. Then she made her Consecration and got into her postulant dress and joined us for a visit in the Speakroom where we met almost all of the rest of the Community and had a lovely, long visit. It was (and still is) a bit surreal when we think about it; the enormity hasn’t sunken in yet. After lunch, we brought back gourmet cookies for the Community and placed them in the turn, so I guess that answers your dowry question
.All of the nuns were so very sweet and joy-filled, which is my understanding of being a nun-- they are all so very happy.
Anyway, after that very emotional, very difficult day, we felt like wrung-out sponges-- very emotionally drained, So we hopped a plane and are visiting family and new places for a few weeks.
In answer to your other questions, she was told what items to bring and they were very practical and all fit in one suitcase. She can correspond with us once a month.
I hope this answers some of your questions and feel free to ask anything else and I’ll answer what I know, but I think that each religious community has it’s own customs and traditions.
Thanks for your prayers for her. God has heaped many graces on us already!
Take care, good luck and God bless!
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SaraJones
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Please know I very much appreciate your writing me. I’m unsure what order I’m called to, but really like the Poor Clares’ charism. What drew your daughter to the Carmelites? What sort of Carmelite order is it? When she was 15-16, did she feel that she had a vocation? Did it come later?
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Aineiora
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Hi Sara–
I replied to you earlier this morning, but it apparently floated out into cyberspace or something, so I’ll try again… wish me luck!
My daughter told her Dad and me that she felt she had a vocation to the religious life when she was 13. Unlike your mom, although we were pleased and proud of her vocation, we wanted her to be sure that this was truly God’s call. (I have 2 aunts that entered religious life briefly, then left). So we encouraged her to pursue the “normal” routes of teenage life, including dating and dances in high school. She now says that she wished she had not dated and such and would have liked to have gone the route your going, but we still feel that she was able to make a more informed and strong choice. So we have agreed to disagree. We also had attended Sunday Mass at a local Benedictine Abbey since she was a baby and I’m sure exposure to all the monks and the monastic life helped to foster her vocation. Our diocese has a rather poor “vocation in progress” formation, but she went to one retreat through them, which was more aimed toward “at-risk” youth, rather than young women seeking to answer God’s call, which was unfortunate.
We moved to a different city while she was in high school and she got involved in the parish youth group and, more importantly, a sub-group that introduced her to M.I. In joining M.I., she heard about Thomas Aquinas College. There she obtained a spiritual director and met scores of Religious from different orders, both active and contemplative and she also traveled to different areas of the country to different orders to see where she belonged. Truthfully, though, she only went to the “active” orders in obedience to us, because that was our idea of a nun; she knew early on that the contemplative life was for her, but we needed to adjust our thinking in baby steps. She’s a wise and patient young woman. Through this exploration and lots of reading and investigating, she discerned that God was calling her to be a cloistered contemplative Carmelite and found her Carmel a little more than 2 years ago. She wanted to enter right away, but we asked her to graduate from college. It was hard for her, but she was cheerfully obedient and entered 5 days after graduation.
The best advice I can give you is that you will know where you are to be when you find that you are more “home” there than anywhere else. And you will be very happy!! We have never seen her so full of joy as when she entered. And we met most of the Community and that was what was so apparent; they were all so very happy. Mother of the Community told us something that should have been very obvious-- God wants us to be happy.
I’m sorry if this isn’t too coherent-- the one that got lost in cyberspace was much more thoughtful and well-written, but I hope that this helps. Feel free to ask any other questions and I’ll try to answer them.
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SaraJones
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Thank you so much for this post Aineiora. I’m just very interested in the discernment process your daughter went through.
I’ve never really dated or done anything else very wild. I wasn’t always very religious but have also never been very bad. My mother has always had a strong influence.
Did your daughter still do fun things at school and college? I used to baby-sit and at a family get together we had, I looked after my younger cousins. My aunt has asked me to think clearly about the sacrifices of a vocation in terms of children. Did your daughter go through this?
I’ve never really dated or done anything else very wild. I wasn’t always very religious but have also never been very bad. My mother has always had a strong influence.
Did your daughter still do fun things at school and college? I used to baby-sit and at a family get together we had, I looked after my younger cousins. My aunt has asked me to think clearly about the sacrifices of a vocation in terms of children. Did your daughter go through this?
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Aineiora
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Hi Sara–
Sorry it took so long to get back to you, but we’ve been traveling and I didn’t have access to a computer. On to your questions:
She did have fun in high school and college. Even though she went to a public high school, she aligned herself with a very nice group of like-minded serious students with good hearts. It was a very diverse group, both ethnically and religiously, spanning the gamut and including atheists, hindus, buddhists, Orthodox, protestants and Catholics. Together, they studied and worked on school projects and civic activities including regular nursing home visits. College was probably more fulfilling for her in that she went to a very orthodox (small “o”) Catholic college with like-minded serious Catholics like herself. Quite a few in her Senior class are currently in the discernment process for either the priesthood or religious life. In college, she was pretty settled on her vocation, so there was no dating, although she did attend some dances. Mostly, her extra-curricular activities at college were religious and service-oriented, such as The Legion of Mary and weekly jaunts to the local abortion clinic to pray.
As far as the children question, that’s a bit harder to answer. From my perspective, it’s giving up the dream of having grandchildren and it is small consolation that she assured me that if she were to have children, she’d have lots and lots of them. Her answer to you I guess would be that her desire to love and serve God and do His will is so much stronger than the desire to have children.
Back to unpacking for me. Take care Sara–
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Anna_Weber
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It must be wonderful to have such support. Sara’s pre-postulancy with her mother seems to have been a most amazing experience.
I have a nephew who lives with me who is very holy and pure. I am hoping to help him find his vocation. This thread has helped me think of my role.
Anna
I have a nephew who lives with me who is very holy and pure. I am hoping to help him find his vocation. This thread has helped me think of my role.
Anna
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ElliottRJ
Guest
Sara, Thank you for posting this. You sound like you have an amazing mother. I live with my mother too and as long as I can remember, I have had a very similar home to your one now. I am also live simply, chastely and purely and also have a strong influence through my mother. I regularly pray with my mother and go to church with her. Blessings on you, Robert
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Poor_Clare_tobe
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*Dear Sara,
How wonderful that you are exploring a vocation to religious life. While I am a bit older than you, my Poor Clare journey is only just begun ( I am a second year novice) What branch of Poor Clares are you thinking about??? Do you know any? Have you talked to any??? It sounds like you are doing many things to prepare. I would suggest you contact a few Poor Clare Monasteries… usually the formation directress can give you some ideas, on things to do, maybe even have some retreat days available or days to visit them.
I would guess that one piece of advice they might give is to not be afraid to live your life in the present. By that I mean enjoy the things that are appropriate for your age… such as some school or church activities. Dressing simply is not a bad idea but I wouldn’t worry overmuch about the colors ( I wore lots of blues prior to entering)…Again I would say contact some Poor Clares in your area.
This website might be of some help… it lists mostly OSC but has links to other Poor Clare Observances.
As to books there are many out there on St Clare and St Francis.
I will try to get some titles but I like you have limited Computer access.
Let us know how your journey is going… and if you like feel free to PM me… ( I normally check my emails on Sunday)
Blessings of Peace in St Clare and St Francis
Sr Debbie O.S.C. *
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