Religious Vocation for 47yo Man

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Bennett_Mariae

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I am struggling greatly with the question of vocation.
I’m a 47-year-old traditionalist Catholic man, never married.
While I do not have a vocation to the priesthood, I feel a strong call to religious life, particularly to a mixed-life community that combines living in community with active apostolates–especially parish work.
Unfortunately, the conservative/traditional orders to which I am attracted do not accept postulants who are over 40.
Living as a single Catholic well beyond the ‘young adult’ phase is increasingly alienating and atomized. And because my parish is unable (and, frankly, unwilling) to muster any activities beyond Sunday Mass, I’m feeling a great deal of isolation.
Are there concrete options that I’m possibly missing?

Many thanks for your prayers and consideration.
 
Fra (sorry, I could not resist using the Latinate form) David, you are very helpful to all of us.
 
Young_Thinker said:
Fra (sorry, I could not resist using the Latinate form) David, you are very helpful to all of us.
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I do not mind this.

Today the Campus Minister at school addressed me as Frater, I have no problem with the more “traditional terms.”

At one of the Eastern Catholic Churches I attend on occasion the pastor insists on calling me Father, as all vowed religious in the East are addressed as Father and as I am a Byzantine (Ruthenian) Catholic he insists on this. Most everyone else addresses me as brother.
 
ByzCath said:
I do not mind this.

Today the Campus Minister at school addressed me as Frater, I have no problem with the more “traditional terms.”

At one of the Eastern Catholic Churches I attend on occasion the pastor insists on calling me Father, as all vowed religious in the East are addressed as Father and as I am a Byzantine (Ruthenian) Catholic he insists on this. Most everyone else addresses me as brother.
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Very well.
 
Unfortunately, my pastor is extremely elderly (80s) and has never been able to remember that he has ever met or seen me before. He’s not in a position to be helpful.

The vocations office in my diocese focuses entirely on young people; they have written off dealing with anyone over 35, unfortunately.
 
Bennett_Mariae said:
Unfortunately, my pastor is extremely elderly (80s) and has never been able to remember that he has ever met or seen me before. He’s not in a position to be helpful.

The vocations office in my diocese focuses entirely on young people; they have written off dealing with anyone over 35, unfortunately.
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See if you can find a younger priest around to talk to about this. All you are asking of the vocation director is trying to link you up with a spiritual director.

Are you near any houses of religious?
 
Brother David,

I greatly appreciate your replies and your generosity.
I am very reluctant to be in touch with anyone from the chancery of my diocese.
A great many number of very serious priestly abuses are openly tolerated and, seemingly, rewarded here, including pastors who openly serve on the leadership of organizations explicitly rejecting Catholic teaching and who live away from rectories with male ‘partners’. I simply do not trust the judgment and the competence of anyone I might encounter there.
 
Bennett_Mariae said:
Brother David,

I greatly appreciate your replies and your generosity.
I am very reluctant to be in touch with anyone from the chancery of my diocese.
A great many number of very serious priestly abuses are openly tolerated and, seemingly, rewarded here, including pastors who openly serve on the leadership of organizations explicitly rejecting Catholic teaching and who live away from rectories with male ‘partners’. I simply do not trust the judgment and the competence of anyone I might encounter there.
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Was your current bishop involved in all of this? Do you know for a fact that the vocation director had anything to do with this? All you will be doing is contacting them for a list of spiritual directors to help you in your vocational search.

I see you live in Baltimore, there are some religious communities there, try contacting them and seeing if someone there would be willing to work with you as a spiritual director.

It is very hard starting out. You need to contact and explore many religious communities to narrow down the list to those you wish to visit and then make some visits to narrow it down to the one you want to apply to.
 
Bennett_Mariae said:
Brother David,

A great many number of very serious priestly abuses are openly tolerated and, seemingly, rewarded here, including pastors who openly serve on the leadership of organizations explicitly rejecting Catholic teaching and who live away from rectories with male ‘partners’.
I would strongly recommend you take this further.
The Church in Ireland has been badly damaged because people were reluctant to ‘speak up’.
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hello dear Bennett Mariae i am first time joining this forum when i read your post and about you in your post . i amaze your one thing and i wanna asked you in question so pls tell me why you not make married i am waiting you answer thanks dear Bennett Mariae
 
mahalia said:
Ever thought about Opus Dei, becoming a numerary?
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I don’t think an Opus Dei numerary would be quite suitable for someone your age. The formation for Opus Dei numeraries is quite rigorous. I haven’t heard of a numerary finding out one’s vocation in one’s 40’s, the latest I guess would be in one’s 30’s. Perhaps an Opus Dei associate would be more of a fit (coincidentally, I happen to be one… 🙂 ). Though associates live celibacy like the numeraries, they do not live in a center of the Work which would require a lot more adjustment, and the formation is much more flexible though still demamding. I think there is a center of Opus Dei in Baltimore. You can try to go to the website and check: www.opusdei.org.
I think you are more inclined to a religious vocation though rather than a lay, secular one that Opus Dei offers. Perhaps you would fine the formation there given still helpful in your case. I know of people initially close to Opus Dei who eventually found themselves led to their vocation to religious life.
Will pray for you.
 
just a second on the idea of becoming a tertiary or secular in an institute near you that is associated with an orthodox monastery or friary, simply for the regular spiritual direction and association with like minded people while you continue the search, and for their suggestions as they know the territory.

perhaps you should not get too set on the details of the lifestyle you envision, but focus more as the first criteria on orders who accept older vocations. I know the Sacred Heart in Hales Corners Wis is for priests, but since they do encourage “late” vocations they also may know more about other religious orders who do, worth a call.

another great way to learn about specific houses is to spend retreat time there, if your current manner of living allows.

I am trying to think of the name, intentional communities or covenant communities, some under charismatic auspices, some very much more traditional, that include professed religious, singles, married people and families in more or less communal living arrangments under spiritual direction of the bishop. They were very big in the 80s and those that survived and stayed solidly Catholic are also more traditional. we have discussed here in the past so hopefully those more familiar will respond. but you could try searching on those terms

It also seems Franciscans would be the logical first place to look, do the CFR accept late vocations? There are Franciscans of all “shapes and sizes” so again visiting would be the best way to check them out.
 
Bennett_Mariae said:
Sadly, marriage has not been my vocation.
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Recently, I was thinking Helo’'ise and Pierre Abelard, a rather touching story, particularily, upon the former’s part. At the same part, it is a scary reminder for those who wish to take on holy orders(though it is always redemptional for a priest or monk’s “de facto wife” to become a nun, especially if they had children; I think that it is better than for such a lady, following the end of their affair, to marry someone else. For one thing, her husband could prove to be a bad stepfather for her children). Please forgive me for going off-topic. I now really believe that I am called by God to the priesthood and still worrying about suddenly losing my senses and entering a compromising relationship. Even if I were whip myself for the remainder of my life, I feel that it would still be stain upon my soul. I am glad that someone else, despite never having any vows, has resisted marriage for many years.
 
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