Religiously Diverse Marriage: The Catholic vs. The Conservative Baptist

[cathy603]

I’m currently in RCIA and converting. My husband is a “Conservative Baptist”. We’ve been married 6 yrs with many difficult problems and issues unresolved. He’s highly insensitive with little knowledge on how to love a wife. He denounces the Catholic Church, but still allows me to pursue my faith. (Sometimes I wonder if he’ll change his mind.) I reside with him and his Born Again Christian family. (Sister, nephew, uncle and mother.) You can only imagine just how difficult it is for me to hold my spiritual ground against those who rattle my faith and foundation as a Catholic and human being. He refuses to move out of his families home so we can raise our son in privacy because his family needs him. What do I do? How do I cope with this day to day struggle for my identity as an individual and a Catholic?

 

[manualman]

I’m no model of male sensitivity myself, but I’ll add what I can!

I’m not clear why he won’t move out of the family home. Are there financial problems that force you all together or is he just unwilling to cut the apron strings?

Most of my friendships in college were with nearly fundamentalist type protestants whose beliefs were an amalgam of Presbyterian and Baptist, so I can relate.

Here’s a few tips.

1. Don’t feel the need to defend the church at every turn. She’s a big girl and can defend her own honor. Choose wisely the rare times you correct people on erroneous statements or defend catholic beliefs. This will be enough to demonstrate your conviction and will establish your humility and security as well.
2. Learn. A great first resource is Karl Keatings Catholicism and Fundamentalism. By all means defend your faith at every encounter internally (in your mind).
3. Recognize the flaws inherent to Baptist theology and culture. They like to think they are Bible-only christians. In reality, odd ideas like card games being immoral, drinking alcohol being immoral and seeing movies being inherently evil (regardless of subject) are peculiarly Baptist and not defensible in scripture OR christian tradition. Though they are uncomfortabel admitting it, these are Baptist traditions. And there are plenty more. On a deeper plane, the very ideas of Sola Scriptura and Sola Fide (as originally described) are contrary to scripture AND tradition as well. Learn to articulate why.
4. Pray for your family and for your own forbearance. You’ll need it!

God bless!

 

[cathy603]

The currently living situation is a result of both his unwillingness to cut the ties and financial. (Financially, he’s habitual for making very poor decisions that as a submissive wife, I have no say.)
But I can tell that you understand the Baptist mantality, and appreciate your advice and well wishes. I will keeps these remarks close in my thoughts and thank you. Merry Christmas.

Peace in Christ,
Cathy

 

[LSK]

And remember to pray, Cathy. You have a communion of saints to pray with you and for you in Heaven and a host of friends here and in the Holy Mother Church. We will all keep you in our prayers.

 

[amcalabrese]

cathy603:

The currently living situation is a result of both his unwillingness to cut the ties and financial. (Financially, he’s habitual for making very poor decisions that as a submissive wife, I have no say.)
But I can tell that you understand the Baptist mantality, and appreciate your advice and well wishes. I will keeps these remarks close in my thoughts and thank you. Merry Christmas.

Peace in Christ,
Cathy

Don’t be so submissive a wife. Marriage is a partnership.