Wow. It really sounds like you have communications issues with your wife if you’re afraid to talk to her.I haven’t posted or read anything here in a long time, but I thought I might find some useful conversations about 1 Corinthians 7:38, which seems to me to be the clearest admonition against marriage in Scripture. All of chapter 7 seems to more or less warn you that marriage is dicey at best, but what do I know?
Yeah, the Family Life section of this forum pretty much confirms it for me - DON’T GET MARRIED. You young people - compared to the trials that will come, a little struggle with chastity is nothing. So be virtuous and stay single. Sure, there’s some good in marriage, (I love my kids), but thread after thread here in nearly 1000 pages can and SHOULD scare the hell out of anyone thinking about marriage.
I married a convert who now hates Catholicism. She hates where we live, what I do for a living (business owner in a blue collar industry), most of our Catholic acquaintances, my family, etc. She’s said numerous times that she hates being a mother.
NFP is loads of fun. I was there at the 4th C-section when the doctor said she’d likely be unable to carry another child to term. It might even kill her. So, NFP it is for us faithful Catholics. But since that basically restricts sexual activity to the times when she’s not really interested, the month of restraint and unromantic mechanics leads to a really disappointing “marital embrace.”
I’ve made up my mind. I’m done with it. It’s a hell of a lot easier to forgo sex altogether than the occasional alternative. It shouldn’t be that tough - while she hasn’t quite said as much, I think she’s just trying to do her best to love me. She wonders “where the spark went.”
I could go on, but mine is just one among what, thousands of other stories just on this forum alone?
We are faithful Mass attendees. We host a small group in our home every couple of weeks. We pray with our kids. (I don’t pray with her because I don’t like to submit the hardest, most intimate and fragile part of my life to her scrutiny and critiques). We homeschool because Catholic private school became unaffordable. Basically, if there’s an area where we aren’t at least attempting to be faithful, I don’t know where it is.
And we’re on the verge of hating each other. Moral of the story:
DO. NOT. GET. MARRIED. Be virtuous and be free.
Absolutely.I sounds more like you are having marital struggles disassociated from Church teachings. You two need marital counseling ASAP, IMO.
Agreed. Montanaman, just because you are going through a rough patch, please don’t rain on other people’s parade, so to speak.Just because you are going through a tough time and have given up doesn’t mean you can dole out bad and embittered advice to others. You need to pull yourself together. A forum is a place where people go for advice. Nobody needs advice when things are rosy. Sure, marriage can be really tough, most good things are. But you would be silly to think that the majority of people can’t work through their issues with a little effort.
In the order of vocations that would be considered the “highest callings” it goes: religious life - marriage - single life. Single life is generally far easier and involves less sacrifice and responsibility than the other two. Believe me, the church does not put the single life higher than marriage.
thank you!!i would give some conscience thought to what you said and how it might sound like to someone who never had a spouse (but always hoped for one), never got to know the joy of the marital embrace (but always wanted to), never got to know the joy and privilege of having a child (gets to feel the crush of their heart when they see their friends families grow and they have nothing to share), never got to know the joy of striving and working hard to make a family work (while their lives are considered by others a waste or a weirdo for not marrying or having children), or the joy that comes from fighting through the tough times to victory later on- a full family that grows to grandchildren and maybe great grandchildren… (a satisfaction a single will never have the chance to experience)… Remember there are those that through no fault of their own suffer in this way.
I believe that those of us in happy marriages don’t post about it because we are not seeking advice…I haven’t posted or read anything here in a long time, but I thought I might find some useful conversations about 1 Corinthians 7:38, which seems to me to be the clearest admonition against marriage in Scripture. All of chapter 7 seems to more or less warn you that marriage is dicey at best, but what do I know?
Yeah, the Family Life section of this forum pretty much confirms it for me - DON’T GET MARRIED. You young people - compared to the trials that will come, a little struggle with chastity is nothing. So be virtuous and stay single. Sure, there’s some good in marriage, (I love my kids), but thread after thread here in nearly 1000 pages can and SHOULD scare the hell out of anyone thinking about marriage.
I married a convert who now hates Catholicism. She hates where we live, what I do for a living (business owner in a blue collar industry), most of our Catholic acquaintances, my family, etc. She’s said numerous times that she hates being a mother.
NFP is loads of fun. I was there at the 4th C-section when the doctor said she’d likely be unable to carry another child to term. It might even kill her. So, NFP it is for us faithful Catholics. But since that basically restricts sexual activity to the times when she’s not really interested, the month of restraint and unromantic mechanics leads to a really disappointing “marital embrace.”
I’ve made up my mind. I’m done with it. It’s a hell of a lot easier to forgo sex altogether than the occasional alternative. It shouldn’t be that tough - while she hasn’t quite said as much, I think she’s just trying to do her best to love me. She wonders “where the spark went.”
I could go on, but mine is just one among what, thousands of other stories just on this forum alone?
We are faithful Mass attendees. We host a small group in our home every couple of weeks. We pray with our kids. (I don’t pray with her because I don’t like to submit the hardest, most intimate and fragile part of my life to her scrutiny and critiques). We homeschool because Catholic private school became unaffordable. Basically, if there’s an area where we aren’t at least attempting to be faithful, I don’t know where it is.
And we’re on the verge of hating each other. Moral of the story:
DO. NOT. GET. MARRIED. Be virtuous and be free.
I was not talking about conscecrated single life though. I got the impression from the OP that he was advising just never marrying.The Church has always taught that the celibate state is higher than marriage - just as Heaven is higher than earth. catholiceducation.org/en/marriage-and-family/sexuality/celibacy-for-the-kingdom-amp-the-fulfillment-of-human-sexuality.html
That is a theological objective determination. However, if one is called to a certain state and way of life, what can be higher than God’s Will even on an objective scale?
I have lived in the single state under private vows now for over 30 years. When I read that the “single life is generally far easier and involves less sacrifice than the other two” I had to laugh and conclude that therefore I certainly am not among the “generally” of those called to lay celibacy. Anyone in any vocation whatsoever can be very sure that there will be sufficient in their journey to form/make a great saint - it is all a question of response.
The fact, I think, about living that vocation to which God has called one, is that the difficulties and sacrifices, sufferings, along the way are embraced as part and parcel of the journey God has willed for oneself. This does not mean that such are any easier or more difficult than any other vocation…rather just necessary to God’s Plan for a person (holiness/saintliness). Also present is another perspective and what The Church teaches and that is that Grace to meet anything and everything is always present - it is a question of whether one embraces that Grace or not.
We can be very sure too that no matter our vocation, Grace will be more than sufficient to holiness even great holiness.
I second this.I think you should go to a marriage encounter weekend. Your wife has a negative streak and I think that you have one too. You are both living for yourselves and own interests and not each other.
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