Remarriage after divorce

[The_Old_Medic]

If you are a Roman Catholic, and you have a valid marriage, there are only two circumstances under which you could validly remarry.

1. Your marriage is annulled by the Church.
2. Your spouse dies.

That is it, there are no exceptions.

If your marriage was NOT considered valid by the Church (meaning you were a Roman Catholic who was not married according to the Rite of the Roman Catholic Church), then you are free to remarry following a divorce.

I fell under that category, as my first marriage was in a Methodist Church (neither my ex or i were members of that church either). She abandoned me and our children, and i divorced her. I came back to the Church some years later, and was free to marry in the Church (my previous marriage was investigated, and determined to be invalid).

 

[MarieaGrace]

Yes, the pornography has stopped a long time ago. I went to rehab to deal with it and deal with my verbal and emotional abuse issues. This happened at the beginning of our separation a year and four months ago. Since then I’ve been diagnosed and put on meds that have cleared my mind greatly. I’ve been going to counseling weekly with a Christian counselor.

We were married by a pastor because both of us chose to. The was no pregnancy or any other reason that “forced” us to get married.

I go to church every Saturday at an SDA church not because I consider myself an Adventist anymore but that’s were I feel comfortable and where my childhood friends attend. And even though I don’t believe EGW and a lot of their other beliefs I still fell Gods love and grace when I go there. No matter what is said on these forums,SDA’s really do love God too.

Hello, I have friends that are 7th day and they to are beautiful people. I admire your courage to come on this site and confess to people like Jesus said to do. I find no sin in you, you are forgiven and if your wife doesn’t want you then move on you cannot stay alone all your life because of this. I do not believe that you have to stay alone after divorce. If your sin is forgiven then your sin is forgiven that is not right to tell people that they can never get married ever again If you want to carry this cross the rest of your life then it is up to you but i could never stay alone if i was young and still able to love someone.Even if i was alone and older i would like the companionship of another. Why can’t you go to a Baptist site or 7th day site and ask this? Here you will only get the same answers No you can never get married ever again NO! Do not deny love, pray about it and wait upon the Lord for he is your strength. I hope you find someone who will love you and not be predigest about your past, when you are forgiven you are forgiven completely!

 

[ASencion]

HI…I’m new here, but I’ve been a practicing Catholic my whole life, and 2 years ago my Catholic Marriage was annulled…yes Catholics can get divorced and have teir marriages annulled…no, not because of adultery. He was adultress in all the ways possible, but it wasn’t this reason that allowed for the annullment. When you get a marriage annulled the person requesting the annullment is psychologically evaluated, or both are…witnesses are called in. Every response is evaluated to see if this marriage was valid through the eyes of the church. If it is not found valid, then the marriage never existed. Then you can get married again.

I respect the fact that you’ve searched for help for yourself, and that you’ve tried to go back to her and asked for forgiveness…don’t lose hope. Although I’ve been separated 6 years, and divorced 4 and annulled 2, if my ex went to counseling and had such a change of heart, mind and soul, I might consider, with the help of a great therapist and prayers from many people, to give him a 2,000th chance… Marriage is supposed to be forever…and I believe it calls out spiritually to us to stay forever. But alas I had to call a Spade a Spade…our marriage didn’t exist. But you say yours did, so…don’t lose hope. Go to Retrouvaille.org and check and see if after some time, she’d be willing to try it out with you.

Remember if you can’t get married, neither can she.

God bless.

 

[adelore]

You wouldn’t be the first man who had been divorced to become a Catholic Priest. It is possible.

So you’re going to the SDA Church. As Catholics we are taught “other Christian churchs” are our “Seperated Brothers and Sisters.” That just means, The Catholic Church was the Church that Jesus founded. Other Churchs thoughout “History” have broken off the Catholic Church.

So even though they are broken off of the Catholic Church, the Catholic Church still sees them as “Christians”.

Have you ever thought of going to RICA class? You can do this if you want to. A lot of people go to this class to learn about the Catholic Church. Some go and then decide to join and some don’t join.

 

[agent_grey]

Unless the original marriage was no marriage at all then remmariage is adultery. Live your life and if you meet someone special do what you do. But do not remarry. To remarry is to enter into a covenant of adultery. You can sin and be forgiven but you absolutely can not be in a covenant of adultery and the covenant of Christ at the same time.

You are stuck in an impossible spot. We all sin and anyone who says they don’t just lied.

Like so many instances the English bible is very misleading. Christ actually said that him who puts his wife away and marries another commits adultery unless the marriage itself was immoral.

 

[rev_kevin]

If I was the one who committed adultery ( not with another woman, but there was pornography, emotional abandonment and verbal abuse, which I’ve been told is a form of adultery) and my wife divorces me, (which she did) at any point in time am I allowed to remarry? I believe that I can’t but I’m not really familiar with what’s considered adultery and what God says about it. For the past year I’ve been trying to reconcile and there is NO way I could ever believe I could marry anyone else, but I’ve tried everything and she won’t give us another chance. I don’t think I will ever marry again and I feel so much remorse and shame, but if I ever wanted to again would I be able to? Straight answers, I want to know the truth. From what I’ve read in the Bible I cannot remarry, which is fine. I’ve reaped what I had sown. I just can’t see biblically how I could remarry without living in adultery. I’m posting in this sub forum because I’d like to hear both catholic and non catholic views.

Get remarried if you want to. If your x don’t want you back then so be it. You know where you went wrong and hopefully you will not repeat the same mistakes you have in the past.
You really need to stop with the self pitty and go on with your life.
Mark 10:11-12 “Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultry against her. And if she divorces her husband and marries another man she commits adultry.”
Well she divorced you, you did not divorce her so according to this that Jesus said you will not be committing adultry if you remarry because you did not divorce your wife.
So get remarried.

 

[ConstantineTG]

Get remarried if you want to. If your x don’t want you back then so be it. You know where you went wrong and hopefully you will not repeat the same mistakes you have in the past.
You really need to stop with the self pitty and go on with your life.
Mark 10:11-12 “Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultry against her. And if she divorces her husband and marries another man she commits adultry.”
Well she divorced you, you did not divorce her so according to this that Jesus said you will not be committing adultry if you remarry because you did not divorce your wife.
So get remarried.

What ever happened to, “what God has put together let no man take apart?”

 

[rev_kevin]

What ever happened to, “what God has put together let no man take apart?”

That is in verse 9, Jesus said, “Therefore what God has joined together, let man not seperate.”
verse 10 Then his disciples asked Jesus about this again and Jesus answered verse 11,"Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adutery against her. Verse 12, “And if she divorces her husband and marries another woman, she commits adultery.”

Ya know what Jesus said both of them, so which is correct, the first thing he said or the second? They contradict eachother don’t they?

 

[ASencion]

I think Jesus understands our humanity much more than what we all think.

Concerning Divorce
When Jesus had finished these words, He departed from Galilee and came into the region of Judea beyond the Jordan;
and large crowds followed Him, and He healed them there.

Some Pharisees came to Jesus, testing Him and asking, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any reason at all?”

And He answered and said, "Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning MADE THEM MALE AND FEMALE,

and said, ‘FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER AND BE JOINED TO HIS WIFE, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH’?

“So they are no longer two, but one flesh. [SIGN]What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” [/SIGN]
They said to Him, “Why then did Moses command to GIVE HER A CERTIFICATE OF DIVORCE AND SEND her AWAY?”

He said to them, "Because of your hardness of heart Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been this way.

“And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”

The disciples said to Him, “If the relationship of the man with his wife is like this, it is better not to marry.”

But He said to them, "Not all men can accept this statement, but only those to whom it has been given.
“For there are eunuchs who were born that way from their mother’s womb; and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men; and there are also eunuchs who made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. He who is able to accept this, let him accept it.”

Jesus Blesses Little Children
Then some children were brought to Him so that He might lay His hands on them and pray; and the disciples rebuked them.
But Jesus said, “Let the children alone, and do not hinder them from coming to Me; for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”

After laying His hands on them, He departed from there.

The Rich Young Ruler
And someone came to Him and said, “Teacher, what good thing shall I do that I may obtain eternal life?”
And He said to him, “Why are you asking Me about what is good? There is only One who is good; but if you wish to enter into life, keep the commandments.”

Then he said to Him, “Which ones?” And Jesus said, “YOU SHALL NOT COMMIT MURDER; YOU SHALL NOT COMMIT ADULTERY; YOU SHALL NOT STEAL; YOU SHALL NOT BEAR FALSE WITNESS;
HONOR YOUR FATHER AND MOTHER; and YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF.”

The young man said to Him, “All these things I have kept; what am I still lacking?”

Jesus said to him, “If you wish to be complete, go and sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me.”

But when the young man heard this statement, he went away grieving; for he was one who owned much property.

And Jesus said to His disciples, "Truly I say to you, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven.

“Again I say to you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.”

When the disciples heard this, they were very astonished and said, “Then who can be saved?”

And looking at them Jesus said to them, “With people this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”

The Disciples’ Reward
Then Peter said to Him, “Behold, we have left everything and followed You; what then will there be for us?”
And Jesus said to them, "Truly I say to you, that you who have followed Me, in the regeneration when the Son of Man will sit on His glorious throne, you also shall sit upon twelve thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel.

"And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or farms for My name’s sake, will receive many times as much, and will inherit eternal life.

“But many who are first will be last; and the last, first.”

 

[vsedriver]

That is in verse 9, Jesus said, “Therefore what God has joined together, let man not seperate.”
verse 10 Then his disciples asked Jesus about this again and Jesus answered verse 11,"Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adutery against her. Verse 12, “And if she divorces her husband and marries another woman, she commits adultery.”

Ya know what Jesus said both of them, so which is correct, the first thing he said or the second? They contradict eachother don’t they?

no they don’t contradict at all. Jesus is saying that even if you divorce you can’t remarry because to remarry is to commit adultery. I am divorcing my husband. Not my choice but there is nothing I can do about it. In the eyes of the state I will be a divorced/unmarried woman but in the eyes of God I am married till one of us dies. I will not be dating or looking to remarry. This is a heavy cross to bear but with Jesus’ help I will make it.

Linda in Ohio

 

[rev_kevin]

no they don’t contradict at all. Jesus is saying that even if you divorce you can’t remarry because to remarry is to commit adultery. I am divorcing my husband. Not my choice but there is nothing I can do about it. In the eyes of the state I will be a divorced/unmarried woman but in the eyes of God I am married till one of us dies. I will not be dating or looking to remarry. This is a heavy cross to bear but with Jesus’ help I will make it.

Linda in Ohio

Sorry to hear about your divorce. My prayers are with you.
Read what Jesus said. You are the one divorcing so if you re-marry then you would be committing adultry not your husband. If he is divorcing you then he would be committing adultry if he re-marries not you.

typo on verse 12 it should be if she divorces her husband and marries another “MAN.” I put women instead of man. :doh2:

 

[dans0622]

Ya know what Jesus said both of them, so which is correct, the first thing he said or the second? They contradict eachother don’t they?

Hello rev kevin,

How could you imply that something the Lord said was incorrect? Both are correct. If you think there is a contradiction here, your interpretation must be faulty.

Dan

 

[rev_kevin]

Hello rev kevin,

How could you imply that something the Lord said was incorrect? Both are correct. If you think there is a contradiction here, your interpretation must be faulty.

Dan

Not saying its incorrect, just which one is it. Which one do we go by. You can’t go by both because the don’t say the same thing.

Mark 10:9 says, “Therefore what God has joined together, let no man separate.”
Then in Mark 10 11-12 he says, “Anyone who divorces his wife and remarries another woman commits adultery against her. And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery.”
Now here in verse 9 Jesus basiclly says “no divorce.” Then in verses 11-12 he basically says Ok divorse but here’s what will happen. See the contradiction, first he says don’t then he says ok but.

Then in Matthew 19:9 Jesus says, “I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultry.”
Once again what God has joined together, let no man separate. Saying no divorce. Here Jesus is saying its ok if they are unfaithful. Once again a contradiction, one says no and the other gives an exception.

So which is it Yes you can and go against what God has joined together, let no man separate or NO you can’t and go against what Jesus says, it ok if there is unfaithfullness and if you divorce the person the you will commit adultery but the person you divorce is not committing adultery.
See the 2 don’t go together, they don’t go hand in hand. One says not at all and the other says only if.