Remarriage and Communion

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BrushedByAngels

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A catholic friend of mine is on her third marriage and I am trying to convince her to come back to the RC Church. She is now church shopping and trying out different religions. My question is since she has never had an annulment and is afraid she will be denied in one of them if not both, and if this were the case… How do you convince someone that you are welcome to come to mass but you will never have communion if either of your annulments are denied?
 
I don’t think you’ll be able to convince her of anything. I would give her the information about why she can’t have communion. Then, leave it up to her.
 
nicolep said:
I don’t think you’ll be able to convince her of anything. I would give her the information about why she can’t have communion. Then, leave it up to her.
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She is trying out other churches (protestant) but she tells me everytime she goes to this one or that one that she is not happy with their services/or religions. I know she desires the catholic church because that is how she was raised and she does prefer it. However, she feels unnaccepted knowing she can not receive communion and may never be able to receive communion.

I guess knowing this might push anyone away from the church. I mean seriously, there has got to be other folks out there who annulments were denied… I’d like to know how they handle the situation. Do they sit in the pews and watch everyone else go up or did they leave the church?
 
I haven’t been in this situation and don’t know anyone who has either. She could make a spiritual communion, which is what I did while I was joining the Church. Maybe point out of the things she could participate in beside communion. She isn’t barred from sacraments (as I’m sure you’re away). It would be the sin of adultery if not living and brother and sister with her current spouse.

I imagine this very thing is a big reason a lot of Catholics leave the Church. It’s a lot easier to move around than to follow God’s commandments.
 
Many people leave over this. It’s a very hard situation and will be tough for your friend if she decides to come back.
 
nicolep said:
I haven’t been in this situation and don’t know anyone who has either. She could make a spiritual communion, which is what I did while I was joining the Church. Maybe point out of the things she could participate in beside communion. She isn’t barred from sacraments (as I’m sure you’re away). It would be the sin of adultery if not living and brother and sister with her current spouse.

I imagine this very thing is a big reason a lot of Catholics leave the Church. It’s a lot easier to move around than to follow God’s commandments.
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In my experience many people don’t feel it is a commandment of God. Many people seem to think it is just some requirement that they can’t fill. My mother AND father said “It’s no good, we can’t be catholic because we’re both remarried. We have to find a church that will allow us to be together.”

🤷 It’s heartbreaking, to be sure. I guess all we can do is pray. 😦 :signofcross:
 
Whitacre_Girl said:
In my experience many people don’t feel it is a commandment of God. Many people seem to think it is just some requirement that they can’t fill. My mother AND father said “It’s no good, we can’t be catholic because we’re both remarried. We have to find a church that will allow us to be together.”

🤷 It’s heartbreaking, to be sure. I guess all we can do is pray. 😦 :signofcross:
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It is very sad, but a rationalization nonetheless.
 
nicolep said:
It is very sad, but a rationalization nonetheless.
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Agreed, although my dad and I both sat down and talked about it and I have NO doubt that both their marriages would be found invalid - my dad’s first wife was with him for a total of 6 weeks. They went on their honeymoon where she avoided him the whole time and was actively flirting with other guys. He felt that he was never joined to her at all, and she expressed the same when she unceremoniously kicked him out the front door when she found out she was pregnant with my half brother that I will NEVER meet. My mom was with her first husband for about a year wherein he beat her continually and she only really married him fr the security of money because she was strung out on drugs at the time and homeless.

sigh The worst part is neither of them can file for an annulment even if they wanted to because the people in question are either totally gone (my mom’s ex) or they are refusing any contact or acknowledgment (my dad’s ex, as I found out when I wanted to meet my brother. She had taught him to refuse contact with me because I am my father’s daughter…I can’t tell you how much this hurts)
 
Sadly those that are in second or third marriages (that were denied annulments) and are happy in their marriages – will not make it to heaven. Even though they will all ask for forgiveness for their remarriage.

If the Catholic church believes your marriage is valid, you must stay in the marriage or remain single forever.
 
AnneTeresa said:
Many people leave over this. It’s a very hard situation and will be tough for your friend if she decides to come back.
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Agreed.

It’s one of the biggest stumbling blocks for people who seek to become Catholic, or for those who have left the church and want to come back.

Can’t help but think it’s the biggest problem facing the “Catholics Come Home” campaign.

Catholics look to come home, yet find they may not be able to partake fully at the Mass
 
Well if it makes the folks that are remarried without annulments feel any better, tell them to read the story about the Good Samaritan. When I read that Jesus does not seem to be bothered by all of her marriages, he instead wants her to evangelize to everyone she can.

Now the church on the other hand says you must stay single if you are divorced and did not receive declaration of nullity.
 
Brushed byan Angel I don’t know how you know who will be going to heaven. We simply in the end do not know since we cannot know the heart or fathem Gods mercy.
 
The ONLY marriages that would cause her a major problem would be the first, and the current ones. The one in between, since it was never valid and ended with a divorce, effectively does not count.

Have her speak with a priest about this. She of course would be welcome to attend Mass, but could not take communion so long as she remains in an illicit marriage.
 
BrushedByAngels said:
Well if it makes the folks that are remarried without annulments feel any better, tell them to read the story about the Good Samaritan. When I read that Jesus does not seem to be bothered by all of her marriages, he instead wants her to evangelize to everyone she can.

Now the church on the other hand says you must stay single if you are divorced and did not receive declaration of nullity.
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Oh, so you really think that Jesus was kidding when He also told the scribes and Pharisees that marriage was between one man and one woman, that Moses had ‘allowed’ divorce but that GOD did not (except in cases where there was actually no marriage at all, which is what a decree of nullity means, but since there is a LEGAL marriage there must be a legal divorce in order to live without sin)?

Cherry picking scripture to try to justify a position which is not what the Church teaches will only bring you heartache and bring confusion to the poor people who listen to you.

And before you even think “huh, what does SHE know”. . .I HAVE a decree of nullity myself so I have been there, done that.
 
hilde_the_dog said:
Brushed byan Angel I don’t know how you know who will be going to heaven. We simply in the end do not know since we cannot know the heart or fathem Gods mercy.
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Doesnt the church teach if you are remarried without the annulment you are in the state of mortal sin? Most every one tells me on this message board that if you die in the state of mortal sin – you chose Hell.
 
BrushedByAngels said:
Doesnt the church teach if you are remarried without the annulment you are in the state of mortal sin? Most every one tells me on this message board that if you die in the state of mortal sin – you chose Hell.
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UNREPENTED mortal sin.

And yes, unrepented mortal sin would mean you chose hell but naturally no one except God and the individual himself/herself would know if at death he or she repented.
 
If someone that has been denied the annulment (heard that there will be less annulments granted than in the past) is thinking and hoping to remarry , should this person not receive communion?

Granted they have not committed the act of sin… (assuming they are not having sexual relations) but are planning to remarry. Does the “planning” stage put them in the act of grave sin?

This is such an interesting topic. Its all too common – something so many catholics are dealing with every day.
 
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