It is true that many Catholics, as this thread proves, have no place in their hearts for a divorced person. These are quotes from individuals that have never experienced the emotional devastation of being abandoned by a spouse & then being abandoned by Catholics as yourself who judged them without any experience with heart ache involved. The best part is that Jesus never abandoned me. He healed my heart.
while we are forbidden to judge the state of anothers soul, or judge that they have gone to hell, or to judge in hypocrisy, however, we are obligated to make judgment of what is sinful, which is one of the spiritual works of mercy, to “admonish” the sinner,
the definition of “judgment” is
“the ability to judge, make a decision, or form an opinion objectively, authoritatively, and wisely, especially in matters affecting action; good sense; and discretion”
we must make judgment, because to judge is to “form an opinion”, which we do with absolutely everything in our lives, and it’s required in order to be charitable to our neighbor, since we are told to admonish sinners and instruct the ignorant,
but who here is judging hypocritically? is anyone here divorced and remarried, and yet preaching against it?
now, just because we are discussing here what is sinful and what is the right course of action in this particular circumstance, that does not mean we would be cold and uncharitable towards someone who has suffered in this way,
but we must look at it with charity above all else, charity being the love of God, and the love of neighbor for Gods sake,
and so what is more charitable, warning someone that the thing they are about to do is a mortal sin and will take away their sanctifying grace, or be silent and let them ruin both their own life and the life of their partner?
we should be loving and gentle always when admonishing someone, and if someone tends to be harsh or aggressive, then they should not do it, but instead ask someone they know can be kinder to do it,
nothing is more precious than the soul, and no suffering on earth is an excuse to sin, Jesus suffered in His passion more than anyone else in history to show us just how far we must go to avoid sin, at whatever the cost, even death,
Saint Dominic Savio even said very often “death before sin” and he died very young, but now he is happy in heaven…along with many other saints that we know, many of whom were never married, and yet who were very happy and joyful, because they knew what brought true happiness, only God Himself,
of course marriage is very good and a very holy thing, and sure it brings joy, but we should never be willing to offend God for it, because then we show that we love something above God, and it is likewise very ungrateful, and like a slap in the face, because God gave us the sacrament of marriage, and so many take it like it belongs to them or like they deserve it…
and despite all of this, there is no judgment being made that is false or uncharitable, and there is no person being judged either, we are only discussing and speaking the truth,
after all, Jesus and the Apostles spoke out against divorce, and the church teaches against it just the same *"And the Pharisees coming to him asked him: Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife? tempting him. But he answering, saith to them: What did Moses command you? Who said: Moses permitted to write a bill of divorce, and to put her away. To whom Jesus answering, said: Because of the hardness of your heart he wrote you that precept.
But from the beginning of the creation, God made them male and female. For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother; and shall cleave to his wife. And they two shall be in one flesh. Therefore now they are not two, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. And in the house again his disciples asked him concerning the same thing.
And he saith to them: Whosoever shall put away his wife and marry another, committeth adultery against her. And if the wife shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery."* Mark 10:2
to not warn against sin is uncharitable, and even hateful, as we read
“Thou shalt not hate thy brother in thy heart, but reprove him openly, lest thou incur sin through him.” Leviticus 19:17
*“Open rebuke is better than hidden love. Better are the wounds of a friend, than the deceitful kisses of an enemy.” * Proverbs 27:5
“Brethren, and if a man be overtaken in any fault, you, who are spiritual, instruct such a one in the spirit of meekness, considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted.” Galatians 6:1
“He that loveth correction, loveth knowledge: but he that hateth reproof is foolish.” Proverbs 12:1
it seems that the word “judgment” is very misunderstood, and it seems the command not to judge is even more misunderstood…others read the passage
“judge not, that you may not be judged” and take it in a very modern view, but as we read in the Haydock Bible commentary here “Christ does not altogether forbid judging, but directs us how to judge.” (read the full text here -
haydock1859.tripod.com/id21.html )
and we also read in the bible
“Judge not according to the appearance, but judge just judgment.” John 7:24
so while we are forbidden to judge in one manner, we are commanded to judge in another, and in this case, there is no unjust judgments being made, unless you can find some false statement being made,
and even if someones words seem cold and uncharitable, also keep in mind that you cannot hear the way it is being said, and you should give them the benefit of the doubt.
i understand your feelings on the matter, and i am sorry if i’ve said anything that sounds uncharitable, but either way, i hope this helps you, take care.
