Remarriage and Leaving the Church

[Thoughtfulone]

My ex-husband , well he is still my husband in regards to the church… is one of my good friends and we get along great. I know I would consider it, but I am not open to the idea of having any more children so I would remain celibate and I know that would not go over to well with him.

So with this being said, I feel I’ve been called to be single and celibate. I am at peace with it and I don’t care to date anyway.

Yes, you might have a hard time convincing a man to live a married life with no sex…I think that’s a big reason many of them get married in the first place

 

[catharina]

I’m only going to respond briefly to this because I think this post was very rude.

How about these posts of yours?

**Post 147**
Oh Catharina...you really are a piece of work. You really do have it all figured out don't you? 
   
**Post 148**  (also addressed to me)
I never implied that I was referring to david in my post. And of COURSE you are allowed to write and post what you wish. Just don't be surprised if nobody really cares to read or ponder what you have to say when you inject yourself into a conversation that doesn't involve you.

**Are the quoted posts of yours
very rude
or kind of rude
or extremely rude
or not rude at all
or super rude -

or are the posts just fine
because they’re from you?**

 

[catharina]

I’m only going to respond briefly to this because I think this post was very rude. NEVER did I say or indicate that God cannot communicate to us only through “happy happy joy joy” moments, or that He cannot work through corrupt officials and systems, etc.

But I’m also not one of those people who sees the Virgin Mary in a grilled cheese sandwich and assigns it some deep spiritual meaning. Everything is not a sign or a directive from God.

“The Church” is not a marriage tribunal. Jesus is not a marriage tribunal. Tribunals have been unjust, corrupt and wrong. We are not required to throw up our hands and quit every time we are denied justice or each time a door slams in our faces because it must be a “sign from God”. The right thing to do is to fight for justice, to change flawed systems, and to demand better when we deserve it.

A decision from a Tribunal is
a decision delivered with the authority of the Church,
at the will of the Church, therefore as an expression of God’s will.

 

[Thoughtfulone]

A decision from a Tribunal is
a decision delivered with the authority of the Church,
at the will of the Church, therefore as an expression of God’s will.

So an unjust decision by a corrupt tribunal is an expression of God’s will? Sorry, no.

 

[Thoughtfulone]

How about these posts of yours?

**Post 147**
Oh Catharina...you really are a piece of work. You really do have it all figured out don't you? 
   
**Post 148**  (also addressed to me)
I never implied that I was referring to david in my post. And of COURSE you are allowed to write and post what you wish. Just don't be surprised if nobody really cares to read or ponder what you have to say when you inject yourself into a conversation that doesn't involve you.

**Are the quoted posts of yours
very rude
or kind of rude
or extremely rude
or not rude at all
or super rude -

or are the posts just fine
because they’re from you?**

Catharina, you have never been anything BUT rude to me and are constantly insinuating yourself into conversations that have nothing to do with you.

 

[catharina]

So an unjust decision by a corrupt tribunal is an expression of God’s will? Sorry, no.

The notion of an unjust decision by a **corrupt tribunal **is YOUR notion.
You say it with no proof, no sources, no evidence - yet you say it again and again.

Do I object to your disrespect of the Church and its positions?

YES.
STRONGLY.

 

[catharina]

Catharina, you have never been anything BUT rude to me and are constantly insinuating yourself into conversations that have nothing to do with you.

Please do consider how often you are terribly rude
and disrespectful about the Church and her actions.

People who criticize the Church ‘call’ to me
for a response and so YES, I respond. That’s life.

 

[Thoughtfulone]

The notion of an unjust decision by a **corrupt tribunal **is YOUR notion.
You say it with no proof, no sources, no evidence - yet you say it again and again.

Do I object to your disrespect of the Church and its positions?

YES.
STRONGLY.

Does this sound like a process that is efficient and fair to you?

boston.com/news/local/articles/2007/06/21/vatican_reverses_kennedy_ruling/

How about this?

catholicnewsagency.com/news/monk_accused_of_taking_annulment_bribes/

The fact is that the process needs to be homogenized and modernized across the board. People now have the ability to travel to and from the offices of the tribunal for formal interviews and evaluations, which should be a must for such an important decision regarding a sacrament. The annulment process should be the same in every diocese throughout the Church.

Catharina, there is absolutely nothing wrong or disrespectful with seeing that there is room for improvement in certain areas of the Church. Attitudes like yours are what kept the priestly sex scandals under wraps for decades.

 

[catharina]

Does this sound like a process that is efficient and fair to you?

boston.com/news/local/articles/2007/06/21/vatican_reverses_kennedy_ruling/

How about this?

catholicnewsagency.com/news/monk_accused_of_taking_annulment_bribes/

The fact is that the process needs to be homogenized and modernized across the board. People now have the ability to travel to and from the offices of the tribunal for formal interviews and evaluations, which should be a must for such an important decision regarding a sacrament. The annulment process should be the same in every diocese throughout the Church.

Catharina, there is absolutely nothing wrong or disrespectful with seeing that there is room for improvement in certain areas of the Church. Attitudes like yours are what kept the priestly sex scandals under wraps for decades.

Slander.

 

[joanofarc2008]

Yes, you might have a hard time convincing a man to live a married life with no sex…I think that’s a big reason many of them get married in the first place

That right there in and of itself would be cause for examination for a decree of nullity if the only reason for marriage is to have sexual relations and I find that very disgusting that someone can break the Sacrament to the sex act. While it is important it is a renewal of the marriage vows and only a component of the Sacrament.

 

[EvelynEVF]

I hope I’m not swinging out too far off-topic, but when I was in college as an evangelical protestant, I came across an article in a secular but not scandalous magazine that said the #1 thing men are looking for in the marriage relationship is sex. I wrote to a high school teacher who had been my mentor, and was a very faithful Christian, and said WHAT?!? and he wrote back and said that he did agree that it was a primary motivator, even for Christian men, along with companionship and someone to bring along while doing stuff (I mean like when men bring their wives along to conferences or hunting, and don’t expect them to be involved in the particular activity, but just to be alongside). Holy mackerel.

I gotta tell you, with my issues, if I am ever graced with permission and opportunity to remarry, the “lucky” guy is going to have to be open to the possibility of some Josephite times, because I can’t guarantee that I could offer normalcy in that area and no way could I tolerate being pressured again.

 

[LIT56RD]

I gotta tell you, with my issues, if I am ever graced with permission and opportunity to remarry, the “lucky” guy is going to have to be open to the possibility of some Josephite times, because I can’t guarantee that I could offer normalcy in that area and no way could I tolerate being pressured again.

If you do get married again; Please, Please, Please tell your future husband this. Don’t let him think that you are going to be interested in sex and get married and not be.

 

[joanofarc2008]

I hope I’m not swinging out too far off-topic, but when I was in college as an evangelical protestant, I came across an article in a secular but not scandalous magazine that said the #1 thing men are looking for in the marriage relationship is sex. I wrote to a high school teacher who had been my mentor, and was a very faithful Christian, and said WHAT?!? and he wrote back and said that he did agree that it was a primary motivator, even for Christian men, along with companionship and someone to bring along while doing stuff (I mean like when men bring their wives along to conferences or hunting, and don’t expect them to be involved in the particular activity, but just to be alongside). Holy mackerel.

.

Well if this is what some men are getting married for then it is no wonder why the number of decrees of nullity are up.

If you do get married again; Please, Please, Please tell your future husband this. Don’t let him think that you are going to be interested in sex and get married and not be.

This would be normal in any marriage using NFP or with medical concerns or just basic life issues.

 

[EvelynEVF]

If you do get married again; Please, Please, Please tell your future husband this. Don’t let him think that you are going to be interested in sex and get married and not be.

Oh, goodness, not to worry! There is no way I would get married without full disclosure!