Remarriage & Catholic burial?

[daeve]

Even if annulled, she may have kept his name because they had children and she’d just prefer to have the same name as the kids and be called Mrs. Jones instead of Miss or Ms. Smith.

 

[otjm]

Very informative, Cameron. Thank you.

I can tell you that his first wife kept his name, and I know I should not make assumptions but she almost certainly did not do so out of affection. Is this any sort of indicator that their union was not annulled?

The last name issue is a civil law issue, and unless she asks during the divorce for a change of name, or subsequently files a name change request with the court, she keeps whatever she had during the marriage.

Do you happen to know what the common practice was (pre-1983 reform) for marriages that were dissolved? Did the wives ever drop their ex-husbands’ surnames or did they retain the names regardless of whether an annullment was granted or not?

Again, because it was a legal issue, and annulments were (and are) not granted until after the divorce is final and some time later (due to filing for the annulment agfter the divorce is final) the two issues are essentially unrelated. Someone might go through the annulment and then decide they wanted to change their last name back to whatever it was prior to the marriage, but they would then have to file with the civil court for the name change. The process is not overly complicated, but because it is one more step in litigation, I would suspect that most women would not do so. I don’t know that there are any statistics on it, so most information would be apocryphal.

 

[masondoggy]

I don’t see anything unusual about the first wife keeping her name after being married to him for 30 years. That’s a looooong time. I’ve only been married to DH for 12 years and it’s really, really strange to hear somebody call me by my maiden name. No matter what happened between us, I’d never ever consider going back.

 

[Phemie]

The last name issue is a civil law issue, and unless she asks during the divorce for a change of name, or subsequently files a name change request with the court, she keeps whatever she had during the marriage.

Again, because it was a legal issue, and annulments were (and are) not granted until after the divorce is final and some time later (due to filing for the annulment agfter the divorce is final) the two issues are essentially unrelated. Someone might go through the annulment and then decide they wanted to change their last name back to whatever it was prior to the marriage, but they would then have to file with the civil court for the name change. The process is not overly complicated, but because it is one more step in litigation, I would suspect that most women would not do so. I don’t know that there are any statistics on it, so most information would be apocryphal.

It seems simpler in Canada. Even as a married woman I can opt to return to my maiden name by simply starting to use it again and notifying any institution that needs to know that I’ve done so – all I need is my birth certificate.

 

[LaLucia]

I was born in America. I started working at a young age and got my social security card under my birth name.

When I decided to go back to using my birth name after my divorce… all I had to do is let the IRS know that I was now changing back to my birth name. I sent them the copy of the social security card with my birth name and I don’t remember what other info. I sent them but it worked. It was easy to do.

When I went to get my passport in the 1970’s… I just showed them my birth certificate and I got my passport under my birth name.

I never went to any court to change my name back to my birth name.

Getting back to your research… please keep us informed. I like to know family history. I find it interesting.

 

[josethekke]

So is he reunited with his first wife in Heaven, or his second?

I think there is no husband and wife in heaven all are angels worshiping god

 

[dessert]

Very informative, Cameron. Thank you.

I can tell you that his first wife kept his name, and I know I should not make assumptions but she almost certainly did not do so out of affection. Is this any sort of indicator that their union was not annulled?
Do you happen to know what the common practice was (pre-1983 reform) for marriages that were dissolved? Did the wives ever drop their ex-husbands’ surnames or did they retain the names regardless of whether an annullment was granted or not?

I am hoping to get some answers tomorrow when I visit the Diocese archives in his town, but will probably be left with even more questions the more I find out.

A woman may always keep her husbands name.

I think you should leave this lye. If the man had seen a priest before he died then that was the decision made between them and God.

 

[harbour1982]

Thank you all for your (name removed by moderator)ut and interest in my question. And no worries, otjm. My question must have sounded silly to you and I should have made it clear from the start that I am not a Catholic and have just recently begun learning about Catholic practices and beliefs.

My trip was very informative and my suspicions proved true. The Church documentation noted specifically that he was not given a Catholic burial, although he and his second wife are indeed buried in a Catholic cemetery.

Relatives who were with him during his last hours told me that when he was asked whether they should fetch a priest he light-heartedly replied “I’ll try my luck without one.”

Still, I was touched to learn that two thirds of the town showed up for his funeral (from the mayor to his estranged children) and that his final years were spent in a very happy relationship with his second wife, who loved him fiercely and sang his praises to her dying day. She never remarried or had children after his death even though she passed on nearly 50 years after he did.

As for his first wife, I sympathize with her but was comforted to know she had quite a good life after the divorce. The children were all grown up when their father left and they all went on to become very successful. They were no doubt an enormous comfort to her and she was looked after by them and her many neighbours and friends in the town. After the divorce hearings the second wife even took the “kids” out to lunch and they remained friends to the very end, even caring for one another in their old age.

It was so nice to learn all these things and I am looking forward to learning more.

Thanks again to everyone here and I look forward to learning more from you, as I have many questions about this beautiful religion and way of life.

God bless!
-Anna in Austria

 

[LaLucia]

Hi Anna, thank you for your reply of what really happened to your relative. It’s a beautiful story but sad that he chose not to have a priest on his last days. I wish he had said yes because we have a forgiving God. I know he was a good man and the whole town prayed for him to go to heaven. I am sure he is there now after all these years. He will be there to greet you when your time comes.

I am guessing he had a Minister from some Christian church at his funeral. I also think he had pre-paid for his burial plot in advance and that is why he is buried there with all of the other Catholics. I am guessing he was too embrassed to confess his sins to the priest. I believe the priest would have been kind to him and hear his confession. But I am guessing he was too embrassed and maybe felt he didn’t need to confess his sins since God already knew his sins.
I personally like to confess my sins because it puts me in God’s grace and it feels really good.

Anna… when you get a chance… just go to the Catholic Mass near you and just sit and watch. I am sure you will enjoy it.

Again, thank you so much for your story. Lucy