remarriage

[annmargaret]

I am a first time user and a little unsure about how to go about asking for some answers no one seems to give me a clear answer too.
My girlfriend d was divorced by her husband after25 years of marriage. she has since met a man and has accepted another proposal for marriage with out an annulment. she states she was never a practicing catholic and i should be able to attend the cermony … I feel this is moraly wrong but have so many others telling me differently… Please anyone having any advice i wolud appreciate it

 

[K-McD]

annmargaret:

I am a first time user and a little unsure about how to go about asking for some answers no one seems to give me a clear answer too.
My girlfriend d was divorced by her husband after25 years of marriage. she has since met a man and has accepted another proposal for marriage with out an annulment. she states she was never a practicing catholic and i should be able to attend the cermony … I feel this is moraly wrong but have so many others telling me differently… Please anyone having any advice i wolud appreciate it

Some clarification is needed. Did she formally leave the Catholic Church by professing another faith? If not, then she need to get an annulment before she can marry again. If she didn’t formally leave the Church then you are right in not attending; however, you need to speak to her about why you won’t attend. It is a touchy situation and needs a lot of prayer.

God bless

 

[puzzleannie]

annmargaret:

I am a first time user and a little unsure about how to go about asking for some answers no one seems to give me a clear answer too.
My girlfriend d was divorced by her husband after25 years of marriage. she has since met a man and has accepted another proposal for marriage with out an annulment. she states she was never a practicing catholic and i should be able to attend the cermony … I feel this is moraly wrong but have so many others telling me differently… Please anyone having any advice i wolud appreciate it

the Catholic Church considers all marriages valid until proven otherwise, whether her first marriage was valid (and also whether this new gentleman is free to marry) are matters for them to resolve with their priest, seeking a decision by the diocesan tribunal if necessary. It is really none of our business.

 

[catherine951]

annmargaret:

I am a first time user and a little unsure about how to go about asking for some answers no one seems to give me a clear answer too.
My girlfriend d was divorced by her husband after25 years of marriage. she has since met a man and has accepted another proposal for marriage with out an annulment. she states she was never a practicing catholic and i should be able to attend the cermony … I feel this is moraly wrong but have so many others telling me differently… Please anyone having any advice i wolud appreciate it

was your friends first marriage in the Catholic Church? Was her husband a practicing Catholic and she wasn’t? With her response it seems she already knows this is wrong for her to do without an annulment. If you feel strongly about this, please simply tell her. Honesty is always best.

 

[puzzleannie]

annmargaret:

I. she states she was never a practicing catholic and i should be able to attend the cermony … I feel this is moraly wrong but have so many others telling me differently… Please anyone having any advice i wolud appreciate it

If you have a question about the morality of your own conduct, see your priest.

 

[Wammy101]

Isn’t a divorce enough. and why do you feel it is morally wrong to go to the ceremony. she is your friend, and if you are a true friend, you will go to the ceremony, if not the reception, regardless of her faith.

 

[1ke]

annmargaret:

I am a first time user and a little unsure about how to go about asking for some answers no one seems to give me a clear answer too.
My girlfriend d was divorced by her husband after25 years of marriage. she has since met a man and has accepted another proposal for marriage with out an annulment. she states she was never a practicing catholic and i should be able to attend the cermony … I feel this is moraly wrong but have so many others telling me differently… Please anyone having any advice i wolud appreciate it

If she was baptized a Catholic but has made a formal act of leaving (and it sounds like she has done so) then she is not a Catholic any longer.

You don’t say for sure that she ever was a Catholic.

Marriage is a sacred institution, and even non-Catholic and non-Christian marriages are considered to be valid and binding by the Church. That said, other churches and those who do not believe in Christ do not recognize the sacramentality of marriage.

In my experience, I have opted for charity and preserving the friendship in hopes of having an impact on them in the future. I attended the wedding of a friend who is Catholic and remarried outside the church. Some would say that was wrong of me-- BUT, I looked at the larger picture. Now after 7 years of me gently encouraging her from time to time, my friend is seeking an annulment from her first marriage and wants to make it right with the church regarding her second marriage.

So, my opinion is that this is a personal decision-- it is not black and white-- and you must decide for yourself after examining all the variables in your specific situation, how it will impact the friendship, what if any scandal it will give, etc.

 

[Margaret_G]

1ke:

If she was baptized a Catholic but has made a formal act of leaving (and it sounds like she has done so) then she is not a Catholic any longer.

If she is a Catholic and left the Church she is STILL a Catholic. Once a Catholic always a Catholic. She may be an excommunicated Catholic who has separated from the Church but she is still a Catholic. She is ALWAYS welcome to come back to the Church. I will keep her in my prayers.

 

[1ke]

Margaret G:

If she is a Catholic and left the Church she is STILL a Catholic. Once a Catholic always a Catholic. She may be an excommunicated Catholic who has separated from the Church but she is still a Catholic. She is ALWAYS welcome to come back to the Church. I will keep her in my prayers.

Let me rephrase: she is no longer under Catholic canon law. Yes, by her baptism she always has a seal on her soul, but it is possible to leave the church by a formal act and she would no longer be considered a Catholic from the standpoint of the laws of the church.

 

[annmargaret]

Margaret G:

If she is a Catholic and left the Church she is STILL a Catholic. Once a Catholic always a Catholic. She may be an excommunicated Catholic who has separated from the Church but she is still a Catholic. She is ALWAYS welcome to come back to the Church. I will keep her in my prayers.