D
dutchessmom
Guest
I am new to this site and forum. Please bear with me. I was raised in the roman catholic faith but fell away from the church in my early adult life. In my 20s, I was not a practicing catholic but I met a man who was 11 years older than me, who was raised as a roman catholic, but he was also not practicing. We were considering a civil marriage ceremony which his parents were against, so we “compromised” by getting married by an orthodox catholic priest in an outdoor wedding ceremony. We did not have any pre-cana classes, but we did discuss and agreed that we both wanted children. A few years after we were married, he “changed his mind” about having children. We subsequently divorced but I did not pursue an annulment. In my early 30s I remarried a man who was also raised roman catholic but was not practicing. He was also previously married and divorced. We were married in a civil ceremony. Fast forward… I have been trying to live as a catholic wife and mother for the last 12 years. My daughter was baptized, received her first penance and communion, and I have tried to faithfully live up to the promise of raising her as a catholic. My husband has not been supportive and I have basically been “on my own” with regard to her attendance at mass, religious education, etc. Six years ago I learned that my husband had been unfaithful. He also has struggled with pornography and drug addiction. After 6 years of trying to forgive him and save our marriage (he continued to use drugs and cheat on me with the same woman), I finally left him. Now that we are separated, I am considering a divorce. I spoke to my pastor about my marriage / separation / plans for divorce. He mentioned that I might consider pursuing an annulment at some point in the future (which I had never really thought about before). Now I am wondering… my second marriage was not valid in the first place, so if I ever wanted to be free to marry in the catholic church in the future, would I have to get my FIRST marriage annulled? Or was that marriage also not valid because it was performed by an Orthodox catholic priest? Am I still spiritually married to my first husband? I very much want to grow in my faith, set a good example for my daughter and get this all straightened out!