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Roxygirl1488
Guest
I want to know where this tradition came from? To me it does not seem to have originated in the Church, so why is it so widely practiced at receptions after weddings?
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Moscati
Guest
Definitely not in the Church. 
I don’t know how accurate this is, but it seems like as good an explanation as any:
my-wedding-blog.com/catch-the-garter-and-head-for-the-altar.html
I don’t know how accurate this is, but it seems like as good an explanation as any:
my-wedding-blog.com/catch-the-garter-and-head-for-the-altar.html
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Bookcat
Guest
Does not seem a custom for Christians to do…
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puzzleannie
Guest
the whole cultural thing around it is so antiethical to Christian concept of marriage and the dignity of woman that no Catholic should tolerate it at a Catholic wedding. It was almost unknown in my day, so I assume it is some product of the bridezilla, say yes to the dress, cakemaster, wedding planner modern mentality of wedding as consumer product. the blog linked above reinforces my opinion. seems related to old customs of shivaree, corn dollies and other fertility rituals surrounding weddings that survived in country surroundings in Christian times, golden bough stuff.
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danonwaveland
Guest
To me, it seems awfully disrespectful – to the woman as an object and to the man as an uncontrollable dog. We skipped this “tradition” at our wedding, but that was a long time ago. Unfortunately, I’ve seen it at all but maybe one wedding since ours’ – which was about 28 yrs ago.
God bless,
Dan
God bless,
Dan
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SemperJase
Guest
My wife and I did it at our wedding. It can be done tactfully. My wife had her garter near her knee. She did not have to lift her dress above her lower leg. I removed the garter rather quickly. The way we did it was discrete and not disrespectful considering nothing was inappropriately exposed.
We didn’t see it any worse than kissing the bride at the conclusion of the ceremony, which is a public display that suggests the consummation of the marriage.
My wife was more concerned about the cutting of the cake. We did hear some groans when we did not smash cake in the each other’s face, but we wanted to start our marriage with dignity and so refused to do something that would publicly disrespect each other.
We didn’t see it any worse than kissing the bride at the conclusion of the ceremony, which is a public display that suggests the consummation of the marriage.
My wife was more concerned about the cutting of the cake. We did hear some groans when we did not smash cake in the each other’s face, but we wanted to start our marriage with dignity and so refused to do something that would publicly disrespect each other.
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Chiltepin
Guest
Fascinating topic!
Can you think of any other wedding traditions that Christians should perhaps avoid?
Can you think of any other wedding traditions that Christians should perhaps avoid?
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Roxygirl1488
Guest
I think what surrounds this tradition that is upsetting to people is the immodesty factor and it having no relevance in a Christian wedding? Are there any formal teachings about this in the church?
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Zooey
Guest
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HATE it when people smash cake in each other’s face. That is one of the most tacky ideas. And I agree that it definitely is an offense to the dignity of the couple.It is very offensive, treating marriage as something out of a vaudeville “comedy”, instead of a sacred occasion. Good for both of you for rejecting this display of bad taste!!
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srlucado
Guest
I couldn’t agree more. It would be interesting to compare the divorce rate of couples of who do this vs. those who don’t.
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It is very offensive, treating marriage as something out of a vaudeville “comedy”, instead of a sacred occasion. Good for both of you for rejecting this display of bad taste!!
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PatriceA
Guest
That’s the exact thing my mom use to say when I was growing up and we would attend a wedding reception. She said the cake cutting and feeding each other a piece is suppose to be a symbol of how each will take care of the other. If they have to be “vindictive” with feeding each other a piece of cake, how are they going to act when its something of vast more importance? My husband and I didn’t do it, and yes there were people that were upset we didn’t.
We did do the garter removal, but we didn’t do the latest craze where the guy that catches the garter puts it on the girl that catches the bridal bouquet. We had a picture taken with the two instead.
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srlucado
Guest
Your Mom sounds like a wise woman.
Weddings (and worse, proposals) have become some kind of live theater event; I remember when they were about a couple expressing love for each other, and celebrating moving forward together–not directing a spotlight at themselves in an orgy of narcissism.
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Roxygirl1488
Guest
I smashed the cake in my husbands face, I don’t think this displays how I am going to treat my husband. I guess you could argue the same thing though, along with the wedding garter display, both can be seen as disrespectful. I wasn’t trying to disrespect my husband, but now that I think about it, I don’t see a “Saintly” couple doing either tradition. So maybe it wasn’t very tasteful.
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Dorothy
Guest
I decided in advance that the “garter” thing would not happen at my wedding. I had fun throwing my bouquet, and we just skipped the part with the garter, which always embarrassed me when I was at weddings where that took place.
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Sarabande
Guest
Although I am aware of people our age still doing this “tradition”, almost every wedding I attended over the past 10 years did not include the garter. I remember as a kid in the 80s and 90s it was very popular, though. Funny enough, a lot of people around my age look at it as a cheesy 1980s wedding phenomenon, but I have no idea when it actually started and by whom.
We did not do the garter during our reception (although I did wear a garter). I just didn’t like the idea of a bunch of people watching my husband remove my garter. We’re private people and it was hard enough being the center of attention at the reception. Also, I’ve seen those home videos when placing the garter on the single lady who caught the bouquet got really out of hand. I remember seeing one where the girl who caught it was like 12 and the guy was in his 20s and that was just a bit uncomfortable. I didn’t want anything like that happening at our wedding.
We did not do the garter during our reception (although I did wear a garter). I just didn’t like the idea of a bunch of people watching my husband remove my garter. We’re private people and it was hard enough being the center of attention at the reception. Also, I’ve seen those home videos when placing the garter on the single lady who caught the bouquet got really out of hand. I remember seeing one where the girl who caught it was like 12 and the guy was in his 20s and that was just a bit uncomfortable. I didn’t want anything like that happening at our wedding.
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Dorothy
Guest
I was married in 1956, and I had seen the garter thing being very popular then.
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baltobetsy
Guest
DH & I were married in the 80’s, and we did both the garter and the cake feeding thing.
I wore the garter below my knee, and DH removed it very politely. My maid of honor caught the bouquet, and the picture of the garter-catcher putting it on her is priceless. Her face is set as if to say, “You will not put that thing any higher than my knee.”
We fed each other cake very politely, too, and there’s a picture of me wiping crumbs off DH’s chin with a linen napkin.
Betsy
I wore the garter below my knee, and DH removed it very politely. My maid of honor caught the bouquet, and the picture of the garter-catcher putting it on her is priceless. Her face is set as if to say, “You will not put that thing any higher than my knee.”
We fed each other cake very politely, too, and there’s a picture of me wiping crumbs off DH’s chin with a linen napkin.
Betsy
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