Reoccuring problem in marriage. please help

[Born2beCatholic]

My wife is wonderful! I have more to be grateful for because of her than any problem with her. But we have different personalities. I really enjoy discussions that concern how we can love God and each other more in our lives. She is more of a listener, which is good, but she doesn’t like to carry on disscussions. I often feel alone in this interest to love God and family more. She really doesn’t have any hobbies or interests other than fine foods and TV. She really goes no further than small talk with anybody.

When an opportunity arises to improve areas where we are weak, she rather not discuss it. This in turn makes her think I talk too much. Please help me with this situation. What are yiour recommendations? Your (name removed by moderator)ut is greatly appreciated.

Thank you.

 

[BamaRider]

Well I dunno, she must be the quiet type. SInce you like to tawk about your Faith and God, ask her to join you at adult cathechism at the parish, and when thats over y’all go someplace to eat, so she can enjoy the fine food she likes.

That way you can tawk to others about the Faith etc, and she can just listen.

In between I’d suggest not trying to tawk to her while she’s watching TV. Debbie likes to do that when I’m watchin a show where the dialog is the main focus, I solved that with tivo, (I watch nothing in real time) so now when she goes to tawkin, I just pause it, let her finish and then go back to watchin Grissom.

If this is y’all’s main problem, I’d say you’re gonna be ok.

 

[iluvmybabies]

My wife is wonderful! I have more to be grateful for because of her than any problem with her. But we have different personalities. I really enjoy discussions that concern how we can love God and each other more in our lives. She is more of a listener, which is good, but she doesn’t like to carry on disscussions. I often feel alone in this interest to love God and family more. She really doesn’t have any hobbies or interests other than fine foods and TV. She really goes no further than small talk with anybody.

When an opportunity arises to improve areas where we are weak, she rather not discuss it. This in turn makes her think I talk too much. Please help me with this situation. What are yiour recommendations? Your (name removed by moderator)ut is greatly appreciated.

Thank you.

My mother is the same way…Well at least with my dad… She likes the finer things, etc…but won’t talk much…She listens all the time to him about the Bible and he attends Bible study etc… She just listens…When he asked for her opinion and her thoughts she would just say things like “I agree with you, that’s correct, you have the best explanation, Oh I see how that is…” ETC…

He decided to start taking her to their groups’ outings it didn’t change the fact that she still is the silent one, but she actually kept observing everyone and enjoyed listening to their discussions…Now at 52 years old, ahem, well she won’t HOLD HER TONGUE! UGH!! LOL…I mean to me she never did hold her tongue with me, thus self esteem issues, but with other adults and my dad always the silent one…NOW she’s starting to come out of her shell, doesn’t happen often but after 30+ years of marriage, she’s finally able to have a decent conversation with my dad which is something he’s always wanted…He’s a scholar, and a reader and she’s just a listener, for him, at least, now she’s starting to get involved…But all those years she went with him helped them because he felt at least she was there with him you know? That kind of quiet support while he expressed himself as he felt he needed…

Maybe you should try that…You know?

I know they went on a lot of retreats, and barely now more vacations together, but it was nice for him to take her to her favorite places and take her to new “finer” places as well that she got to enjoy while he talked his way through there…

Good luck and God bless!

 

[kage_ar]

Read the book “The Five Love Languages”. Learn to communicate in her language.

For the Spritual side, “Deep Conversion, Deep Prayer” by Fr. Dubay.

 

[udoc89]

Well, you sound pretty young. If you said how long you’ve been married, I missed it. Wives should all have your problem–a spouse who frequently wants to discuss important life-altering issues . My husband and I have the opposite problem—I’d like to discuss our faith journey 24 hours a day. He is more the taciturn type. Sounds like your wife. I love him more than I did the day I married him, and in 26 years, we’ve learned to appreciate each other’s eccentricities and differences. Maybe it sounds corny, but we complete each other. I don’t think you can change your wife’s basic personality. I have noticed as I’ve gotten older, however, that my husband is much more willing to talk than he used to be. Maybe it’s because it’s so quiet around here now that the kids have left home.