Reparation for Lying?

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itsdavid

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I have a serious dilemma.

I fell away from the faith completelt for several years during high school and early college. I am still in college now. During my time not believing and first coming back, I smoked Marijuana habitually and lied frequently about it to my parents, sometimes in answer to point blank questions. On one occasion I allowed someone else to take the fall for me in a situation in which we were caught smoking and lied against his name to protect myself. Since I have come back to the faith and realized that smoking pot is wrong, I have stopped and will never do it again. I have developed a great relationship with my parents and I think I am genuinely making them proud with my achievements in college. They do and can trust me now. Most of the situations involving the lies are dead and buried, so to speak. I did, however, “get away” with them; the lies were never uncovered. Recently, I have begun to feel tremendous guilt about them and about lying point-blank to my loving parents. The Catechism says that reparation must be made to those lied to. I’m wondering what this means exactly and whether one must tell the truth even long after the fact. Telling them that I lied about those things would reopen a lot of old wounds and would, I think, devestate my parents. With such a good relationship established now, and because I am behaving well and making them proud, is it really necessary to rehash all these old situations (which would really affect them emotionally) or is confessing these sins and moving on good enough?

Thank you.
 
David, I think the best course would be to honestly explain these things to a priest in Confession. Guilt has a way of taking over and could swamp the graces of reform and leave you depressed. You need to find healthy answers from a priest. If you have not been to Confession than, really this is what you need to do. I would be especially concerned about the consequences to the person whom you let take the blame for your actions.

David, in Confession you will be speaking to God, in the person of the priest.
God already knows your sins, but you need to confess them and receive God’s guidance from the priest.
Try to be honest, as humility (which is honesty) is part of the reparation necessary in Confession. The priest will be glad that you have returned to God and he has already heard most sins, so try to trust in God as you go to Confession.
My prayers for you.
And as a parent of grown sons, who eventually told me most of what they got up to, and I love them more than anyone in the world, (did, still do) I’m glad you have returned to God and to good relationship with your parents.

As for telling your parents, I can’t speak on that. Jesus said, “Each day has enough trouble of its own.” Matthew 6:34
You will no doubt make reparation, but whether to tell your parents or not…I’d ask the priest, and trust him to speak for God to you about that. I don’t know your parents, how strong they are, what is their understanding, none of us here do, so we trust you to God.

Your primary at present responsibility is Confession, and continuing to welcome God’s grace into your life.
God bless you, David,
Love, Trishie
 
Take this concern to your confessor and be guided by his advice.

Peace
James
 
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