Repenting/repeating the sin....false repentance?

[ccmcmg]

You’ve confessed a sin, and truly repented from it; you are ashamed it for many reasons, and are sorry for hurting God. You do NOT want to commit this sin again. You fully resolve deep down to avoid that sin.

Yet…it happens. Each time, you are mad at yourself, sorry for it, and ask for God’s Mercy. Sometimes, you might even pray while the sin is being committed… You are drawing closer to God moreso than anytime in your life, but this one seems to tempt you more than any other sin in your life. You pray, often, in fact, to God, Father Son and Holy Spirit…you implore Mary and the saints for their intercession.

Hmmmm, it happens again. This is turning out to be your most troubling vice, the sin most difficult to get away from, and it has the capacity to destroy your life. It could be a ‘remnant’ of something that was perpetuated upon you at a young age, but it could just be a shortcoming in your character; it could also be mitigated by a mental illness you have, but you still hold yourself fully accountable. You are the one committing the sin. It is your words, your heart, your body, committing the sin. In order for this sin to happen, it takes a couple of decisions that you know will likely lead to this sin. Sometimes you are successful in resisting. Is that a good thing, or just not enough?

It could be an addiction, of sorts, to the sin and the way it makes you feel, momentarily. You don’t know if it reduces your culpability, or not, but you still feel like a failure.

If you keep repeating the sin, over and over, even though you regret it immediately, sometimes even when committing the sin…are you truly repentant? It feels like true repentance, but it keeps happening. You keep going to Confession, ashamed to say how few days it’s been since your last Confession…especially if you didn’t have to confess this sin last time you went, but you wonder if the priest thinks that if it’s only been a week, or even two weeks, since your last confession, that you committed it for that one, too.

Thanks.

 

[jaimeleglise]

I can totally relate. In my case the sin is gossip, pointing out the sins of others. How to stop? I am sorry, resolve to sop, yet do it again? How to stop?

 

[Sirach2]

Hi Christina,

I think this is the most insidious of temptations the devil uses against a soul; namely, if we cannot control our ability to avoid this sin, we may as well indulge it. I had a problem many years ago as a teen, and the moment I fell into it after firmly resolving never to commit it again, my logic reasoned, “Ah, now you’ve blown it - you have lost sanctifying grace, so go ahead and indulge yourself until the next time you go to confession.” What that does, is entrench a person more and more habitually to the point it becomes extremely difficult to resist.

The only way I finally overcame it was to immediately reflect upon the greatness of Jesus’s love for me, His infinite blessings bestowed upon me, and picture to myself how much He would be saddened by my giving in. LOVE was the incentive to do violence to myself and resist. In time, the strength of my resistance caused me to overcome completely. It also helps to avoid the occasions that triggers commission of the sin.

I have observed that other sins, little by little, have been overcome by the strength of graces I received in the sacrament of penance. I have one bug-a-boo that I still struggle with, but I am confident that Christ will help me with this one, also. The main point is to confess regularly, at least once a month, and you’ll see a difference as time goes on. Be encouraged, for God will not abandon you in this effort.

 

[polytropos]

You’ve confessed a sin, and truly repented from it; you are ashamed it for many reasons, and are sorry for hurting God. You do NOT want to commit this sin again. You fully resolve deep down to avoid that sin.

Yet…it happens. Each time, you are mad at yourself, sorry for it, and ask for God’s Mercy. Sometimes, you might even pray while the sin is being committed… You are drawing closer to God moreso than anytime in your life, but this one seems to tempt you more than any other sin in your life. You pray, often, in fact, to God, Father Son and Holy Spirit…you implore Mary and the saints for their intercession.

Hmmmm, it happens again. This is turning out to be your most troubling vice, the sin most difficult to get away from, and it has the capacity to destroy your life. It could be a ‘remnant’ of something that was perpetuated upon you at a young age, but it could just be a shortcoming in your character; it could also be mitigated by a mental illness you have, but you still hold yourself fully accountable. You are the one committing the sin. It is your words, your heart, your body, committing the sin. In order for this sin to happen, it takes a couple of decisions that you know will likely lead to this sin. Sometimes you are successful in resisting. Is that a good thing, or just not enough?

It could be an addiction, of sorts, to the sin and the way it makes you feel, momentarily. You don’t know if it reduces your culpability, or not, but you still feel like a failure.

If you keep repeating the sin, over and over, even though you regret it immediately, sometimes even when committing the sin…are you truly repentant? It feels like true repentance, but it keeps happening. You keep going to Confession, ashamed to say how few days it’s been since your last Confession…especially if you didn’t have to confess this sin last time you went, but you wonder if the priest thinks that if it’s only been a week, or even two weeks, since your last confession, that you committed it for that one, too.

Thanks.

It sounds like you are repentant. You may not find it spiritually healthy to dwell on how contrite you were for your last confession.

I returned to the Catholic Church a bit over a year ago. For much of the last year I’ve been going to confession about every 1-3 weeks for the same sin. It can be very frustrating, but what is important is that you confess and resolve to avoid in the future. What the devil wants is for you to be frustrated and give up. As Archbishop Fulton Sheen says, “Before we commit a sin, Satan assures us that it is of no consequence; after we commit a sin, he persuades us that it is unforgivable.” Try praying the Rosary daily.

Also, priests understand this sort of thing. For a while I would just confess the sin and get out of there, but recently I have divulged also that it is something I’ve been struggling with for a while, which I seem to fall back into in spite of frequent confession. Priests appreciate this and can often give you more guidance.

I’ll be praying for you.

 

[JRKH]

…

It could be an addiction, of sorts, to the sin and the way it makes you feel, momentarily. You don’t know if it reduces your culpability, or not, but you still feel like a failure.

All of these things you describe are feelings - which are transitory. So try not to get too overwrought on the emotional roller coaster. The feeling of failure will pass.

If you keep repeating the sin, over and over, even though you regret it immediately, sometimes even when committing the sin…are you truly repentant?

Can’t really say. Too many unknown factors to even make a generalized comment.

This is something best discussed with your confessor / spiritual adviser.

It feels like true repentance, but it keeps happening. You keep going to Confession, ashamed to say how few days it’s been since your last Confession…especially if you didn’t have to confess this sin last time you went, but you wonder if the priest thinks that if it’s only been a week, or even two weeks, since your last confession, that you committed it for that one, too.

Your confessor is not there to judge or make assumptions. But if he DOES see you coming and confessing the same sin over and over, it should be that much easier for you to broach your concerns and to get his feedback.

Hang in there

Peace
James

 

[ccmcmg]

Hi Christina,

I think this is the most insidious of temptations the devil uses against a soul; namely, if we cannot control our ability to avoid this sin, we may as well indulge it. I had a problem many years ago as a teen, and the moment I fell into it after firmly resolving never to commit it again, my logic reasoned, “Ah, now you’ve blown it - you have lost sanctifying grace, so go ahead and indulge yourself until the next time you go to confession.” What that does, is entrench a person more and more habitually to the point it becomes extremely difficult to resist.

The only way I finally overcame it was to immediately reflect upon the greatness of Jesus’s love for me, His infinite blessings bestowed upon me, and picture to myself how much He would be saddened by my giving in. LOVE was the incentive to do violence to myself and resist. In time, the strength of my resistance caused me to overcome completely. It also helps to avoid the occasions that triggers commission of the sin.

I have observed that other sins, little by little, have been overcome by the strength of graces I received in the sacrament of penance. I have one bug-a-boo that I still struggle with, but I am confident that Christ will help me with this one, also. The main point is to confess regularly, at least once a month, and you’ll see a difference as time goes on. Be encouraged, for God will not abandon you in this effort.

Thanks. I do often feel that ‘pull’ once I’ve committed that sin already, once I know it’s going to be a day or two or longer before I can get to Confession, to continue. But I’ve been pretty good at resisting it, through God’s Grace and Strength, not mine. I confess regularly, no less than monthly, sometimes weekly if needed (especially when praying for an indulgence).

It sounds like you are repentant. You may not find it spiritually healthy to dwell on how contrite you were for your last confession.

I returned to the Catholic Church a bit over a year ago. For much of the last year I’ve been going to confession about every 1-3 weeks for the same sin. It can be very frustrating, but what is important is that you confess and resolve to avoid in the future. What the devil wants is for you to be frustrated and give up. As Archbishop Fulton Sheen says, “Before we commit a sin, Satan assures us that it is of no consequence; after we commit a sin, he persuades us that it is unforgivable.” Try praying the Rosary daily.

Also, priests understand this sort of thing. For a while I would just confess the sin and get out of there, but recently I have divulged also that it is something I’ve been struggling with for a while, which I seem to fall back into in spite of frequent confession. Priests appreciate this and can often give you more guidance.

I’ll be praying for you.

Thanks. I am truly repentant, or think I am. I do my best to be repentant. I have given more details when the priest asks, although I have on occasion volunteered that this sin has been a struggle of mine. I love the Archbishop Fulton Sheen quote. That helps a lot. I appreciate the prayers.

All of these things you describe are feelings - which are transitory. So try not to get too overwrought on the emotional roller coaster. The feeling of failure will pass.
Hang in there

Peace
James

Thanks for the reminder. My love for the Lord, my Faith, I know are more important than feelings; but God made us feel things; I just need to learn how to understand or control them, reasonably. Y’all have helped me with that.

Peace and blessings to all y’all.

 

[Bookcat]

The Confessor can assist you.

Keep in mind - that repeated falls into a sin* does not in itself - mean one was not repentant*. Even in the case of mortal sins.

(it is a big difference between repenting and being resolved to not commit the sin (resolved to avoid the near occasions etc) there and then with confession and later in weakness falling again VS and not repenting but intending to do the sin again later. And there is a big difference between repenting and being amended etc though knowing that one is weak and that one can likely fall again -----VS— planning to fall again.)

Jesus of Nazareth: The Lamb and the Good Shepherd

“Jesus is called the Lamb: He is the Lamb who takes away the sin of the world. Someone might think: but how can a lamb, which is so weak, a weak little lamb, how can it take away so many sins, so much wickedness? With Love. With his meekness. Jesus never ceased being a lamb: meek, good, full of love, close to the little ones, close to the poor. He was there, among the people, healing everyone, teaching, praying. Jesus, so weak, like a lamb. However, he had the strength to take all our sins upon himself, all of them. “But, Father, you don’t know my life: I have a sin that…, I can’t even carry it with a truck…”. Many times, when we examine our conscience, we find some there that are truly bad! But he carries them. He came for this: to forgive, to make peace in the world, but first in the heart. Perhaps each one of us feels troubled in his heart, perhaps he experiences darkness in his heart, perhaps he feels a little sad over a fault… He has come to take away all of this, He gives us peace, he forgives everything. “Behold, the Lamb of God, who takes away sin”: he takes away sin, it’s root and all! This is salvation Jesus brings about by his love and his meekness. And in listening to what John the Baptist says, who bears witness to Jesus as the Saviour, our confidence in Jesus should grow. Many times we trust a doctor: it is good, because the doctor is there to cure us; we trust in a person: brothers and sisters can help us. It is good to have this human trust among ourselves. But we forget about trust in the Lord: this is the key to success in life. Trust in the Lord, let us trust in the Lord! “Lord, look at my life: I’m in the dark, I have this struggle, I have this sin…”; everything we have: “Look at this: I trust in you!”. And this is a risk we must take: to trust in Him, and He never disappoints.”

~Pope Francis

vatican.va/holy_father/francesco/homilies/2014/documents/papa-francesco_20140119_omelia-parrocchia-sacro-cuore-gesu_en.html

"Jesus is the “Good Shepherd” who goes in search of lost sheep, who knows his sheep and lays down his life for them (cf. Mt 18:12-14; Lk 15:4-7; Jn 10:2-4, 11-18). He is the way, the right path that leads us to life (cf. Jn 14:6), the light that illuminates the dark valley and overcomes all our fears (cf. Jn 1:9; 8:12; 9:5; 12:46).

He is the generous host who welcomes us and rescues us from our enemies, preparing for us the table of his body and his blood (cf. Mt 26:26-29; Mk 14:22-25); Lk 22:19-20) and the definitive table of the messianic banquet in Heaven (cf. Lk 14:15ff; Rev 3:20; 19:9). He is the Royal Shepherd, king in docility and in forgiveness, enthroned on the glorious wood of the cross (cf. Jn 3:13-15; 12:32; 17:4-5)."

~Pope Benedict XVI

vatican.va/holy_father/benedict_xvi/audiences/2011/documents/hf_ben-xvi_aud_20111005_en.html

 

[Bookcat]

You may find helpful the works of Fr. Jacques Philippe such as “Searching for and Maintaining Peace” (where he discusses how we need to draw closer to Jesus when we have sinned - not to let up on our prayer life even though on feels the pain of ones sins–as often happens he says)

frjacquesphilippe.com/