Repressing Sexual Sins?

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Okay, so I struggle a lot with sexual sins (masterbation, watching porn, etc)

Recently, I’ve managed to stay away from pornography for more than 4 and half months and masterbation for about three weeks. Today, I caved in.

Rather than feeling guilty about it, I immediately just felt really relieved and content. Like, I got something out of my system. I’m guessing it was because I was repressing those feelings for so long.

My question is, since indulging in these sins is obviously not an option, and repressing them leads to no good, what exactly am I supposed to do with these feelings? 🤷

Any thoughts or suggestions would be really helpful.
 
My doctor prescribes Paxil for depression and it drastically reduces the libido to practically nothing. My suggestion: Talk to your doctor about medication to reduce your libido.
 
Suppression and repression aren’t the same thing. Repression is the involuntary, unconscious concealment of uncomfortable thoughts and desires in the unconscious. Suppression, OTOH, is a voluntary choice to take control of what you think about. If you didn’t use any suppression to control yourself, you’d be a real mess. If suppression is all that you use, you’re not going to succeed. There is a limit to how much will power will do for you.

You might want to read “Switch: How to Change Things When Change Is Hard” by Chip and Dan Heath. It is a recent book that covers the various psychological aspects of how to make permanent changes. The insights in it could prove very helpful.

Maybe you need to look to take the attitudes of a married man towards sex, and look for a wife. Even when married, though, you’ll find that you won’t always be able to have marital relations any time you want. Your wife won’t always be ready when you are. This is a good time to work on other things you can do to make those impulses easier to deal with. That might be exercise, it might be finding some other kind of a thrill or some other kind of a way to express yourself emotionally. You are talking about very strong urges, so this probably won’t be just one thing.

This isn’t going to make resisting self-centered sexual expressions easy. The primary goal is to make it possible. If you do it, well then, any landing you walk away from is a good one. Once you’ve achieved self-mastery, making it less difficult will be an on-going process.

Good luck, and may the Holy Spirit guide you to a successful means of mastering yourself for good.
 
Okay, so I struggle a lot with sexual sins (masterbation, watching porn, etc)

Recently, I’ve managed to stay away from pornography for more than 4 and half months and masterbation for about three weeks. Today, I caved in.

Rather than feeling guilty about it, I immediately just felt really relieved and content. Like, I got something out of my system. I’m guessing it was because I was repressing those feelings for so long.

My question is, since indulging in these sins is obviously not an option, and repressing them leads to no good, what exactly am I supposed to do with these feelings? 🤷

Any thoughts or suggestions would be really helpful.
Prayers for you while you struggle to overcome lust… this has been my biggest (and still ongoing) problem, too.

If you are legitimately concerned that you cannot control your sexual urges, I recommend talking to your doctor. As has been mentioned there are many options for helping you to control your libido. I’m unsure of the moral theology surrounding it (I posted a question to that effect in Ask an Apologist and it was never answered) but I can’t see how it would be illicit – we are commanded to cut off any part of us that tempts us to sin, and taking SSRIs as antilibidinals does just that, albeit chemically.

Longer term… well, consider marriage! The sex drive is naturally ordered toward it, after all, and it’s better to marry than to burn with passion.

Don’t say, though, that “repressing them leads to no good.” It leads to much good. There are many virtues which emerge only in the face of sin: sacrifice in the face of pain and suffering; mercy in the face of offense; patience in the face of temptation. It can be difficult to turn your back on sexual sins but your body DOES quit rebelling against you at some point. You will have to exercise constant stewardship of your sight and of your imagination, and you may well stumble many times, but we are fortunate in that God is forgiving.

Don’t worry if you don’t feel guilty by the way. The guilt required of us after sinning is one of intellect and will, really – an acknowledgment that we have done wrong and a commitment to avoid doing so in the future.
 
Okay, so I struggle a lot with sexual sins (masterbation, watching porn, etc)

Recently, I’ve managed to stay away from pornography for more than 4 and half months and masterbation for about three weeks. Today, I caved in.

Rather than feeling guilty about it, I immediately just felt really relieved and content. Like, I got something out of my system. I’m guessing it was because I was repressing those feelings for so long.

My question is, since indulging in these sins is obviously not an option, and repressing them leads to no good, what exactly am I supposed to do with these feelings? 🤷

Any thoughts or suggestions would be really helpful.
I think that you should see a doctor to know whether you have any chemical imbalance. BiPolar disorder may lead to that. One patient i was told had sexual relation with dozens of women in a short time and then got into depression. Doctors know it bettere and medecine is advancing so much…
 
The poster two above this said that repression was a good thing. It isn’t. As another poster explained repression is not the same as supression, which is what I believe the poster two above this meant. I would suggest talking to your priest about this, after all, who is going to know more about how to control lust than someone who has taken a vow of celibacy? He will probably have some helpful suggestions. In the meantime, try praying, not in the “Lord, don’t let me fall into sin” way, as that just makes you think about it but in a “conversation with God” way. Developing a relationship with God will help you to commit fewer sins.

You say that you felt relief, as well as the physical reasons for this, you could be trying to suppress your desires in an unhealthy way. Just trying not to think about it isn’t going to work for long, sooner or later you will fall. Finding a suitible expression for your sexual energies is a way of reducing your temptations and allows you to do something positive.

I’ll be praying for you.
 
Okay, so I struggle a lot with sexual sins (masterbation, watching porn, etc)

Recently, I’ve managed to stay away from pornography for more than 4 and half months and masterbation for about three weeks. Today, I caved in.

Rather than feeling guilty about it, I immediately just felt really relieved and content. Like, I got something out of my system. I’m guessing it was because I was repressing those feelings for so long.

My question is, since indulging in these sins is obviously not an option, and repressing them leads to no good, what exactly am I supposed to do with these feelings? 🤷

Any thoughts or suggestions would be really helpful.
The reason you felt relief is because you had endorphins running through your system. It does no good for your spiritual life to cave in to the temptations. The devil wants it to feel good because it is a trap and is physically attractive because it provides for a quick release. However, that release is fleeting. God calls us to ward off temptations from the devil and to pray for the graces and strength we need in order to stay strong. We cannot do this alone. If we try, we most surely fall because we become slaves to the flesh.

There have been clinical studies that show that masturbation is highly addictive. It’s like a drug and when the act is committed, chemicals are released in the brain that cause a temporary high, just like drugs do. It forces you to want more because of the physical feeling.

It may be that you are addicted to porn and masturbation. I urge you to seek help from a priest or someone you can trust. Find an accountability partner and get yourself a filter so you are not able to see the websites that cause issues. Once this secret is out in the open, it is much easier to overcome because you don’t want to be shameful in the sight of friends and family. I wish you luck and blessings.
 
Overcome them through the practice of virtue and an act of your will.
 
Um… please remember to marry for reasons other than sex, though. Just sayin’.
That is what I meant by taking a married man’s attitude towards sex. I meant the Catholic understanding of marriage and the place of sex in marriage. Thank you for the clarification.
 
The Church recommends another set of “means” to help with temptations like this. They involve conversion, practicing the presence of God, and simple forms of improving sel-mastery.

Conversion is an active process of transforming the things of the world like temptation into prayer. We can transform struggles into offerings to God, with God. This is related to the practice of maintaining the presence of God. We should approach God in various ways throughout the day, in prayer, chattering with Him, saying the Rosary, offering Him our work before we do the work and after the work is done, we might visit a church on the way home from work, mental prayer, reading a short piece from the Bible, etc.

Self-mastery might take various forms of mortification. Smiling when you don’t feel like it, working longer or with more intensity than your body is willing to do, getting up earlier, taking smaller portions of food, cleaning up, adding order to your life, etc.

These reasonable practices help build virtue and other forms of strength.
 
The PHYSICAL help is very important.

Married partners know that when you are tired, the mood for intimacy is not there.
Be sure you have enough exorcise to tire you, it works.
This could be physical work, sports, exorcise at home or in the gym.
It keeps the blood pressure down, and makes sleep easier at night.
Jogging is good if your up to it.
Weight lifting is very fatiging.
Pushups, and running standing still will do it.

Going to the restroom reduces inner organ pressure.

MENTAL help is important.

The memory will have recent images on the front burnner so to speak.
With time, the memory puts them on the back burnner.
It is important to keep good images in the memory for it will bring
those recent good images to fore and prevent the bad images in the
back from returning.
Bad images sets back a person for a certain amount of time before
they are put on the back burnner. (We are out own worst enemy.)
The rosary is excellent for storing good images up front.
This also is why it is good to pray frequently thruout the day, to keep
the good images up front.
Many saints advised of visualizing putting oneself at the foot of the cross.
That means with Mary and John, seeing the soldiers, and the people, and
expressing our sorrow to Jesus for our own sins and those of others as
we gaze into his eyes filled with pain. Sorrow weakens passion and desire.
This can be done while praying the chaplet of divine mercy. The following site
has this chaplet and more.
campus.udayton.edu/mary/resources/chaplet.html#chaplet29

HOBBIES are important.
To distract outselves, we focus on something easy and desireable to
think about.
Collections of various sorts are good, stamps, coins, bottles, etc.
Models, planes, ships, wood working.
Fixing things.
Anything that will be attractive and easy to absorb our attention.
“Idleness is the devil’s workshop.”

SPIRITUAL is above all the most important.

“In trying to get rid of bad habits, it is of the greatest importance not to put off
going to confession after a fall, and also to keep to the same confessor.” St. Philip Neri

Another spiritual tool is the miraculous medal.

Here is some important info about the Miraculous Medal, one of Mother Theresa’s
favorites.

“Have a medal struck… All who wear it will receive GREAT graces; they should wear it
around the neck. GRACES will ABOUND for persons who wear it with CONFIDENCE.”
From the mother of Jesus spoken to sister St. Catherine Laboure 1830.

“Great graces are often attached to what seems trifling.” St. Margaret Mary Alacoque

“The devotions we practice in honor of the glorious Virgin Mary, however trifling they be,
are very pleasing to her divine Son, …” St. Teresa of Jesus

During this apparition, Mary’s hands had 3 rings on each finger. Each ring gave off
rays of colored light. A few rings did not. Mary said that the lights radiating from
the rings are graces that people ASK for. The rings that didn’t radiate she said
were graces not given because they were NOT asked for.

Wear her blessed miraculous medal. Then say, “Mary I am asking now for you to
obtain the great graces for me which you have promised to give to those who ask and
that have trust in you.” Trust her, it works. She is the mother of God.
She will be there for you when you ask her for GREAT graces in times of temptation.
It will put you on a level higher than the temptation can reach.
Her wish is for you to have this. It is her gift.
Code:
 legionofmary.org/miracmedal.html
The best is the last recommendation, Jesus himself in the Blessed Sacrament.
Either communion or adoration. His presence changes us.
 
My doctor prescribes Paxil for depression and it drastically reduces the libido to practically nothing. My suggestion: Talk to your doctor about medication to reduce your libido.
Not a good idea. There is no need for medication to suppress a normal human drive.

To the OP: just recognize that this is a common sin, you aren’t alone, and try to do your best. Rather than beat yourself up for caving in, congratulate yourself for going 4 weeks without and for giving up porn. Then use the sacrament of reconciliation to try to do better, and to ask for forgiveness when you fail again (which you no doubt will). The idea is not that you achieve a perfect result, the idea is that you try to do your best and gradually transform yourself. God appreciates the effort even if the result isn’t perfect.
 
Okay, so I struggle a lot with sexual sins (masterbation, watching porn, etc)

Recently, I’ve managed to stay away from pornography for more than 4 and half months and masterbation for about three weeks. Today, I caved in.

Rather than feeling guilty about it, I immediately just felt really relieved and content. Like, I got something out of my system. I’m guessing it was because I was repressing those feelings for so long.

My question is, since indulging in these sins is obviously not an option, and repressing them leads to no good, what exactly am I supposed to do with these feelings? 🤷

Any thoughts or suggestions would be really helpful.
You love yourself more than you love God.

Only when you love God more than yourself will you be willing please God rather than pleasing yourself. Only when you come to a realization of who you are and who God really is, will you be willing to suffer through the temptation to please him, rather than giving in to the temptation to please yourself. When you get to that state, you will have a profound sense of humility, and in some way know what Christ felt like on the cross, paying the ultimate price out of love for God the Father.

Like Christ on the cross, it will take supernatural strength, and you don’t get that by yourself. You have to go to confession very often, and recieve the Eucharist often when you are not in a state of mortal sin.

If you are really serious about stopping, you will embrace God above all things, spend every available hour in adoration, in prayer, reading scripture and attending Mass. You have to make it your focus.

If not, well… you love yourself more than you love God. Self love is the cause. I know this from experience. What more can I say other than I pray for men every day.

-Tim-
 
Once when I went to confession to confess lustful sins the priest advised me to do these three things daily:

Pray the Rosary
Read and meditate on scripture
and to fast and/or abstain from at least one thing you are used to doing (e.g. adding butter to your dinner roll, playing a video game, drinking soda, etc.)

These things have helped me tremendously.

With the advise from the others who have answered your post and these exercises you will most definitely overcome lustful sins.

God bless.
 
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