Request for prayers to help restore peace of mind

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kieran74

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Hi

I posted here before and recieved two really beautiful and positive responses which helped me a great deal. Basically, without going into too much detail I unintentionally did something terrible late last year for which I have done everything in my power to make amends for. However, I still cannot forgive myself for my mistake and the last four months have been a big mess of anxiety, guilt and hopelessness.
I have prayed and prayed to Mary, to St Anthony, St Jude Thaddeus and St Therese of Liseux to intercede on my behalf to Jesus but nothing has helped ease the awfulness of how I feel. I ask Jesus every day to help me move on past this - I have such a wonderful life, a brilliant family and loving, understanding, compassionate and selfless wife. I am so blessed with these things, and yet I feel like I am trapped behind a sheet of glass looking on at everything like a passive observer, unable to enjoy and rejoice in everything God has given me.
Please - if you can spare a moment of prayer for a stranger - please ask Jesus to help lift this weight of my shoulders and start enjoying life again.

Thanks for reading

Kieran
 
Hail Mary,
Full of Grace,
The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the Fruit Of Thy Womb,
Jesus.
Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now,
and at the hour of our death.
Amen
 
Praying for you.

Have you thought about going to counseling?
 
Dear Lord, bless Kieran with a good priest he can bring his problem to light with, as communicating his mistake to another wise and holy person should dissipate Satan’s grip on him in this situation. Let him know that talking about the situation with the person(s) offended is his best bet, if that is something he could do. Give him freedom in this life, freedom to make mistakes. And like a child, humble and resilient, may he learn to get right back up again after his falls without much distress and worried thought. Help him in this difficult time in his life and make him a saint. Amen.
 
My friend, yes, find a Priest and see if you can find a way to do what you can to remedy the situation. Try to forgive yourself though, God loves you and will help if you ask. Take Care and will pray for you…
 
Keiran, I know there are things we’d change if we could. Consequences can be awful to live with. It’s not sin, because it was unintentional. You have tried to make amends. These God requires. These you have done. So what is left is your regret.

Sometimes in my most innocent moments, when my intentions have been good and kind, have I made the worst mistakes. I know the effect it has. I’ve been through those feelings you speak of. And you can’t go back and change things.

To not forgive yourself…this can become a sin, to not forgive oneself when God does. But that’s human, I know.

I will pray for you, Keiran, and for all the tears in your heart that you probably never have been able to shed.

With love, Trishie
 
Peter’s regret

Jesus, I know the regret of one who fails to serve the need in another person, perhaps even in one’s most-loved. I have experienced the remorse of those who wound another, however unintentionally.

Afterwards, there may seem no redress? The damage perhaps seems irreversible. The other’s heart or mind may seem unapproachable due to their nature or attitudes; or one simply lacks courage to risk the other’s anger or reproach?

When we bless others, we bless You, and when we wound them, we wound You… Thus, in Your weakest moment I left You desolate. In Your greatest need, I abandoned You—although in my confusion and loss I feel that You deserted me. Nothing can expunge your hurt then, in that time. I ask forgiveness, and You forgive. Yet the moment cannot return and you are gone. Not gone, but changed…beyond my touch and understanding?

The scars remain, burned in Your feet and hands, and in my heart. Yet You loved and chose, and gave Your life for me—although my weakness, fear, and sin betrayed and denied You. Now, in recompense made fit by Your pure sacrifice—again and again I shall serve and pray for each brother in his weakness and need, as You have done for me. Thus may I watch with my Lord, sharing a-hundredfold what once I denied You. In how we failed that person or situation]
Keiran,
what we have to do is to use the pain and regret, not to destroy ourselves, but to be more loving to others

Love, Trishie
 
:signofcross:
Glorious St. Dymphna, you are the patron of the nervous and emotionally disturbed. I am certain, however, that your charity embraces everyone. I am certain that you lend a listening ear to any prayer offered for any special need.
You will, I am sure, take my problem to heart and pray for me that it may be happily settled. Please interceede on Kierann’s behalf. You will plead for me and obtain the help I need. Already I offer you my sincere and grateful thanks, so great is my confidence that God will hear and answer your prayers.
Amen.
  • St. Dymphna, Virgin and Martyr, pray for us.
    St. Dymphna, patron of nervous and emotional illnesses, pray for us.
    St. Dymphna, crowned for the glory in heaven, pray for us.
    St. Dymphna, faithful to your covenant with Christ, pray for us.
    St. Dymphna, precious in the eyes of the Lord, pray for us.
    St. Dymphna, our helper in every need, pray for us.
    St. Dymphna, our friend at heave’s court, pray for us.*
 
Kieran-
Trishie is right- you are relieved of the burden of forgiveness- that belongs to God. What you must do is let it go. Accept the consequence and have faith that under God’s wisdom- you will act to restore balance. Did you ever see the movie “Patton”? When the general was reprimanded it spurred him on to greatness. Commenting on this, the commanding general said that that incident did more to win the war than Patton could ever imagine. So great negatives can incite even greater good- if we follow what is right. Bless you.
 
Contrition

Heavenly Father, I have sinned against others, against myself, and against You. I am unworthy to be Your child. I have offended Your goodness and Your dream of who I really am. I may have denied You the joy of blessings that You wish for me and for others through me.

You alone know the entire consequences of my failure. Yet Jesus assures us that You joyfully celebrate my return from sin, and run to welcome and reclaim me as Your own. I want to value myself as Your child, knowing that all worth and holiness comes from You.

In trust, I will not accuse myself for sins already forgiven and absolved or for temptation if I have not actually sinned. I believe that temptation can be overcome by Your grace, inspiring greater faithfulness to the Gospel and the Sacraments.

Look on those tasks of love and service that I fail to undertake or to complete, and bring them to completion. Please bring out of my failures, such fruits of these new opportunities enhanced beyond all previous expectation, for from our human betrayal of Your divine plan of Creation, Your mercy wrought the magnificent plan of redemption that reverberates through time and eternity!

In Your mercy, please transform into good all that in weakness or ignorance I may spoil. Please bring blessing that is abundant beyond original possibility, to anyone I ever harm or deprive.

May I so belong to You, may I be so transformed by Your love, that my faults no longer are sin or offence in Your sight and can foster nothing that impedes Your will. This, my soul in trusting confidence implores.
 
God’s mercy brings freedom

Heavenly Father,
Jesus did not judge or reject the sinful Magdalene. He did not reproach her or His foremost friend Peter who betrayed Him. He gave them hope and new life. He commissioned the Magdalene—a woman in a society where even sinless women were of little value—as messenger of His resurrection to His chosen male apostles.

Jesus left no trace of reproach or curtailment of vocation in Peter’s life despite Peter’s triple betrayal and desertion of Jesus in His ultimate ordeal. Jesus had warned, “If you deny me before men, I will deny you before my Father in heaven” but Jesus only required Peter’s triple declaration of love to reinstate him.

Merciful God, if I fear that other persons may not forgive me, remind me that I am easily mistaken about others’ intentions. If anyone rejects me, let his or her judgement call me to humility. If others cannot pardon me, or their forgiveness is conditional, please do not let judgement come to them on my account, only wonderfully bless them.

Like all men and women who follow Jesus, I seek reconciliation and healing. **Though I labour to rectify my mistakes and to atone for faults only clearly seen too late, my love and earnest prayer may bear no fruit. Yet how can I blame those who may not forgive! I cringe with shock at my temerity in wounding others. I wish I could wipe away every trace of hurt in them. Please do that on my behalf, dear God. **

God, please heal me of the wound of having caused hurt to any brother or sister, so dear to You. Let Your love create life-giving relationship between us. Where my defects cause others to become less loving or trusting, I may thereby restrict blessings God wished for them. Bless them extravagantly with infinitely lovely gifts and benefits. Please guide me lest out of loving intention I err again towards anyone.

If an aggrieved impulse taints my contrition, let me remember that You forgive all repentant sin, including mine. In my failure and sorrow, there is peace in knowing that all things depend upon Your love. Only one thing is required; that I accept Your love and mercy and that I extend it to others, whether or not they can respond. It is my vocation to love and pray for them regardless. Bless them in my prayers and Masses.

My efforts are just ordinary choices…daily footsteps over gray pavements, hard wooden seats, prayers snatched out of rambling thoughts, and impulsive hopes for others’ well-being in kindly meant acts that are as likely to be misguided as to be wise. God grant me discernment in my kindness to others, and healing where my impetuous goodwill has caused injury.

I only clearly see the passage of moments and days of my life in a physical world. Therefore God, I give You what I have—my daily efforts, and myself. Help me humbly to receive the freedom of living simply in trust in Your love until death. You may perhaps never show Your face; but please constantly grant me Your strong, loving Spirit so that I rest faithfully in Your tenderness and Your divine will, whatever happens, however difficult—or however wonderful.

Thank You for Your amazing love and forgiveness. Thank You for loving and pardoning me even when I can barely forgive myself, and others appear unable to forgive as Jesus did. 2004
 
In my weakness You are strength

Jesus, thank You for those who see my faults or misunderstand my motives and who thus reveal my need for conversion and healing. I repent my unworthiness, and ask that You offer me as gift to God in each broken moment restored.

Gather up my lost moments, Jesus! Cleanse and shape them with my sorrow merged with Your sacrifice. Burnish and set them with Your forgiveness, and illuminate them with Your love as treasures of witness, intercession, and atonement!

Thus, make my flawed life into a gem of praise, service and delight for You in the Communion of Saints.

Praise to You, Jesus, who make treasure out of ordinary and fallen human beings!

**“I live in a high and holy place, but I am also with the contrite and humbled spirit, to give the humble new life…I will heal and console him.” says the Lord God.” **[Isaiah 57:15, 18]
“In my ‘little way every thing is most ordinary; all that I do, little souls must be able to do likewise. (Saint Therese of Lisieux) Her little way “is the way of Spiritual childhood…of trust and absolute self-surrender.”
 
kieran74 said:
Hi

I posted here before and recieved two really beautiful and positive responses which helped me a great deal. Basically, without going into too much detail I unintentionally did something terrible late last year for which I have done everything in my power to make amends for. However, I still cannot forgive myself for my mistake and the last four months have been a big mess of anxiety, guilt and hopelessness.
I have prayed and prayed to Mary, to St Anthony, St Jude Thaddeus and St Therese of Liseux to intercede on my behalf to Jesus but nothing has helped ease the awfulness of how I feel. I ask Jesus every day to help me move on past this - I have such a wonderful life, a brilliant family and loving, understanding, compassionate and selfless wife. I am so blessed with these things, and yet I feel like I am trapped behind a sheet of glass looking on at everything like a passive observer, unable to enjoy and rejoice in everything God has given me.
Please - if you can spare a moment of prayer for a stranger - please ask Jesus to help lift this weight of my shoulders and start enjoying life again.

Thanks for reading

Kieran
Click to expand...
It truly seems you need to see a priest! Catholic parishes usually have confession or sacrament of reconciliation during Saturday mornings or Saturday afternoons. To find out call your local Catholic Church or parish and they can have an automated answer or if they have a website you can check online, sometimes on a bulletin pdf file or on their homepage links.
I have gone to confession, its good to go often. But Jesus really needs for us to be sincere and ready to make amends. A priest will ask how long has it been since your last confession (some do some don’t), then he will hear your confession (either face to face or behind a draped booth, depends on the room set up), pray the prayer of absolution, and he will recommend or should I say admonish you for a course of action or prayer said for penance. Penance is the act of removing the obstacle that keeps your soul away from God. Our Lord and Mother admonish all of us to be reconciled with one another and with God, confession is a way to do that. The priest should be able to guide you by the power of Jesus. Also if whatever you did was illegal, I heard from someone else that priests are protected legally to keep your confidence, however, please research this and not trust my word on this because I haven’t been able to confirm that. For a background of confession, see the link to the article below.
I hope you overcome this! Becaus satan is our real enemy. And God can forgive you.
V.

americancatholic.org/Newsletters/CU/ac0800.asp
 
kieran74 said:
Hi

I posted here before and recieved two really beautiful and positive responses which helped me a great deal. Basically, without going into too much detail I unintentionally did something terrible late last year for which I have done everything in my power to make amends for. However, I still cannot forgive myself for my mistake and the last four months have been a big mess of anxiety, guilt and hopelessness.
I have prayed and prayed to Mary, to St Anthony, St Jude Thaddeus and St Therese of Liseux to intercede on my behalf to Jesus but nothing has helped ease the awfulness of how I feel. I ask Jesus every day to help me move on past this - I have such a wonderful life, a brilliant family and loving, understanding, compassionate and selfless wife. I am so blessed with these things, and yet I feel like I am trapped behind a sheet of glass looking on at everything like a passive observer, unable to enjoy and rejoice in everything God has given me.
Please - if you can spare a moment of prayer for a stranger - please ask Jesus to help lift this weight of my shoulders and start enjoying life again.

Thanks for reading

Kieran
Click to expand...
Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be Thy name. thy kingdom come,Thy will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us. Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from every evil, Lord, Amen
I will keep you in my prayers.
Peace to you my brother in Christ,
mary1173;) [hang in there…nothing is impossible not if you ask for God’s help. This also means reaching out to your spouse and a doctor if need be too!]
:blessyou:
 
Do you feel like things are unreal? Like you are in a bad dream? You need to go to the hospital if this is so. You may be suffering from depression. I know the symptoms… Like being on one side of a glass window…looking in and seeing other people’s enjoyment and you can’t understand why you cant feel happy too?

The symptoms can’t just be prayed away…you need meds too if it’s severe…Let a doctor help you with your health. God works miracles through modern medicine too.

Let your family know what’s going on…they love you. They’ll do what needs to be done to help you.

I’ve had depression for over 20 years now. It takes more than prayers to heal the blues of depression…patience, love, and kindness…and antidepressant meds.
:yup:
 
Thank you so much to everyone who has posted their thoughts and prayers. You won’t ever know how much this means to me. Your words have been inspiring and beautiful in equal measures, and I have said a prayer of thanks for each of you and the kindness you have shown in taking a few moments to reply to me.

Please keep me in your prayers. Thanks, Kieran
 
Hail Mary,
Full of Grace,
The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit
of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now,
and at the hour of death
Amen.
 
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