Requesting Alternative Penance

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HereticalTheist

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I am a convert from protestantism…and like many converts I have difficulty being enthused about devotions to Mary, Marian Apparitions, or prayers to saints. I do pray to Mary, and to my patron saint, and namesake, St. Patrick of Ireland.

The following has never happened but I was reading a thread about popular penances and the thought occurred to me…what would happen if a priest asked me to, for instance, say a Rosary or Chaplet of Divine mercy as a penance? I don’t as rule engage in such devotions. Could I tell the priest this and ask for alternative penance…that seems to be conspicuous and absurdly self-centered and contrary to the spirit of repentance to me! I would likely just have to learn to say a Rosary…but then my penance would seem rote, and half-hearted, and that also seems absurd and contrary to the spirit of repentance.
 
I have received the penance of the Rosary, and it is not as bad as you would think. It’s (technically) prayers of Our Father, Hail Mary, and Glory Be, although it is overall much, much more than that.

I doubt a priest will ask you to say the Chaplet of Divine Mercy; not many people are very familiar with that prayer. I still haven’t memorized it completely.

I do not believe one can ask for an alternate penance, however.
 
presidentjlh said:
I have received the penance of the Rosary, and it is not as bad as you would think. It’s (technically) prayers of Our Father, Hail Mary, and Glory Be, although it is overall much, much more than that.

I doubt a priest will ask you to say the Chaplet of Divine Mercy; not many people are very familiar with that prayer. I still haven’t memorized it completely.

I do not believe one can ask for an alternate penance, however.
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On another thread a person in Houston TX said:
cecilia97 said:
Why interesting?

I forgot…last year when I went to confession before Divine Mercy Sunday, Father was giving out the chaplet as penance. That was a good one. 😃
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I assume she meant the Chaplet of Divine Mercy. But there must be lots of other cases…what if the priest asks for another prayer you do not know, or for a physical act you cannot perform. My priest two weeks ago told me I had to participate in Holy Week services as a penance. I went to Mass everyday for a week (which was really no penance, because I loved every second). But what if I had been injured or unable? Is it improper to bring this up?
 
HereticalTheist said:
On another thread a person in Houston TX said:

I assume she meant the Chaplet of Divine Mercy. But there must be lots of other cases…what if the priest asks for another prayer you do not know, or for a physical act you cannot perform. My priest two weeks ago told me I had to participate in Holy Week services as a penance. I went to Mass everyday for a week (which was really no penance, because I loved every second). But what if I had been injured or unable? Is it improper to bring this up?
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Oh, I think that is a perfectly fair thing to bring up, as one cannot say a penance they don’t know. I’m sure the priest will be very understanding.
 
I recommend you say a novena to Our Lady for the grace to accept her as your Mother and peace from God in this regard. The rosary is a beautiful and powerful prayer, you’re really missing out. Be not afraid of what Holy Mother Church deems worthy of our devotion.
 
HereticalTheist said:
On another thread a person in Houston TX said:

I assume she meant the Chaplet of Divine Mercy. But there must be lots of other cases…what if the priest asks for another prayer you do not know, or for a physical act you cannot perform. My priest two weeks ago told me I had to participate in Holy Week services as a penance. I went to Mass everyday for a week (which was really no penance, because I loved every second). But what if I had been injured or unable? Is it improper to bring this up?
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I thought as a general rule penance had to be something that had to be completed before you left the church after receiving absolution?

ChadS
 
ChadS said:
I thought as a general rule penance had to be something that had to be completed before you left the church after receiving absolution?

ChadS
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Not in my diocese…I’ve also been given the penance of performing a substantial act of kindness for someone…which is hard to do in a Church (not impossible but it took me a week until the Lord brought me into contact with a vagrant homeless hitchhiker, who i bought coffee and hot lunch for on a cold day).
 
HereticalTheist said:
I am a convert from protestantism…and like many converts I have difficulty being enthused about devotions to Mary, Marian Apparitions, or prayers to saints. I do pray to Mary, and to my patron saint, and namesake, St. Patrick of Ireland.

The following has never happened but I was reading a thread about popular penances and the thought occurred to me…what would happen if a priest asked me to, for instance, say a Rosary or Chaplet of Divine mercy as a penance? I don’t as rule engage in such devotions. Could I tell the priest this and ask for alternative penance…
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Yes you could.
that seems to be conspicuous and absurdly self-centered and contrary to the spirit of repentance to me!
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It does to me also. In the spirit of repentance, my view would be that you should accept the penance and humble yourself before God by learning that task which is set before you by His grace through confession. There may be a very good reason why the priest gave you that particular penance.
I would likely just have to learn to say a Rosary…but then my penance would seem rote, and half-hearted, and that also seems absurd and contrary to the spirit of repentance.
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But on the other hand you may find that the devotion is a good one. It may open new avenues of Grace for you that you have here-to-fore not tapped into.
As for being, “rote, and half-hearted”, and thus, “contrary to the spirit of repentance”, I would disagree. Accepting and fulfilling a penance that is not “easy” seems much more in keeping with the spirit of repentance than “shaking off the sign”, like a pitcher shaking off the catcher until he gets the “sign” (penance) he wants. (to use a baseball analogy)

My advise is to accept whatever your confessor assigns you and perform it humbly and cheerfully.

Peace
James
 
I suppose you could always ask for an alternative. The priest can always say “No.” 🙂

Personally, I don’t think I could ever do that, though. Even if it’s a prayer you’re not familiar with, in the age of “google”, it’s really not that difficult to figure it out. Just think of it as one more opportunity to surrender your will to God.
 
+Re requesting an alternative penance . . . *seeking *. . . encountering . . . embracing . . . and welcoming with a whole heart ❤️ our . . . Crucified . . . Resurrected . . . Ascended Lord . . .Jesus . . . *the Blessed Christ *. . . ***God Incarnate ***. . . and understanding him in His role of Wonderful Saviour of our souls . . . is only one side of the precious holy coin of salvation in the life of a child of God . . . and in their life living as God’s child . . .

The other side of the coin . . . is to learn and practice continual relinquishment/surrender of the “control” of one’s life into God’s Holy Hands . . . and as a sinner . . . saved by the grace of God . . . to truly allow Him to take control of your life as . . . Lord . . . of your life . . . in all His Great Kindness and Goodness . . . trusting in His holy wisdom . . . and His great love for your soul . . . to become complete Lord of your soul . . . by allowing Him daily as your Saviour and Lord to become your holy guide . . . your holy Master . . . your holy teacher . . . through Holy Mother Church . . . thus allowing your soul . . .* in all humility *. . . to understand that it has much to learn . . . and many “miles to go” in it’s growth in grace and in the knowledge of our ***Lord Jesus Christ ***. . . and allowing your soul . . . in all humility . . . to understand that it has much to learn as to how to . . . find and walk . . . in the holy pathways of God so beautifully laid out for the perfecting and further and continuing salvation of souls through Holy Mother Church . . .

:bible1:
“Trust in the lord with all thine heart:
and lean not unto thine own understanding.
In all thy ways acknowledge him,
and he shall direct thy paths.”
Proverbs 3:6
. . . all for Jesus+
. . . thank You Dear Blessed Holy Lord+
. . . Giver of Life+
Jesus I Trust in You!+
:signofcross:​
 
As a convert myself, I fully understand the discomfort associated with Rosaries. But until you conquer that, I think you will be failing to appreciate and participate in an important aspect of our faith life.

Catholicism has rote exercises, if you will, because these things carry us when we do not feel particularly spiritual. If we were left only to say what happened to pop into our heads, can you see how that would not be nearly sufficient to address our needs? I find it is often only on the 2nd or 3rd decade of the Rosary that I start to feel more at peace, and be able to really concentrate on faith.

If you feel that a rosary is too rote for you, then you should do what a number of priests often do: between each Hail Mary, say a particular intention. “For an expansion of charity, Hail Mary…” “That we may attain peace, Hail Mary…” If you’re worried about doing it half-heartedly, work hard to think about the things you’re saying, picture the exact things you want Mary to pray on your behalf for. One thing to consider here is to pick up the book Introduction to the Devout Life by St. Francis de Sales. St. Francis often speaks about these kinds of practicalities, and if you really work hard at the methods he describes, I’d wager you will find any kind of prayer, no matter how long, an immensely moving experience. Just thinking about it, I think I’ll go read it again.
By the way, I, too, have universalist leanings. Prior to becoming Catholic, I considered myself a non-Christian universalist. Now, I acknowledge the possibility of hell, but also the possibility that no one is there. This is one of the things I love about Catholicism.
 
You do not have to complete the penance before leaving the church, but you have to have the intention of fulfilling it in order to properly receive absolution. I was once on vacation with my then-small child and older children, and the priest gave me as penance the Rosary. Since the line had been very long and my youngest had been waiting for a very long time, I explained this to the priest and said I could not stay that long; he told me just to do it when I could.
When you receive a penance that doesn’t “jibe” with you, just remember Our Lord’s obedience to His Father: Let this chalice pass from My Lips, but Thy Will, not Mine, be done.
 
why not simply learn the Rosary ? 🙂

I’m a convert from Protestantism too, and I struggled with devotion to Mary until I began praying the Rosary.

God bless 🙂
 
I was thinking you might like the book “Introduction to Mary” by Mark Miravalle. It is easy to read and describes the scriptural & theological bases for Marian devotion (called hyperdulia). It also talks about the rosary and its scriptural and Jesus-oriented focus. We are meant to meditate on Christ’s life while reciting the rosary. It is like any meditative practice where you do a rote physical or verbal action while meditating. It helps in keepingg your mind focused.

I also wanted to throw out that the chaplet of Divine Mercy consists of very short, simple prayers (only two would be “new” – there are also three familiar prayers: the Our Father, Hail Mary, and Creed are each said one time at the beginning of the chaplet). The two “new” prayers are directed toward God the Father and mention only Jesus. They are not directed toward Mary or any saints. It is extremely easy to memorize and takes less than 10 minutes (maybe just about five) to recite. My kids and I recite it in the car when running errands and it really calms down my very intense four-year-old. Anyway, it’s nothing to be intimidated by and hopefully wouldn’t bring up any of your discomfort about praying “to” Our Lady and the saints.

Also, it’s not necessary to complete your penance in the church. I attend a univeristy parish and our priest says he often assigns a penance of a meditative hike to the college students. Clearly a hike could not be completed inside the church.

My most recent confession was last week and was after a daily mass at a church that is not my home parish. The priest had cut a small slit in the edge of the screen in the confessional (this was a very old church with the old-fashioned confessionals) and passed little prayers through – it was so funny! They just kept coming. I think he passed me five or six different things. (Separate from my penance – these were just to be “helpful”.)
 
PS: I thought this might be helpful regarding penance. Last fall, when my oldest was preparing for first reconciliation, our priest made the following analogy: a sin is like a wound. When you go to confession, it’s like going to the doctor and getting the wound stitched up. The penance is like a salve that you need to rub on it afterward. This is very simplistic (this was a class of 7- and 8-year-olds, afterall!), but I have found it helpful to remind myself of this from time to time.
 
UncommonGrace said:
I was thinking you might like the book “Introduction to Mary” by Mark Miravalle. It is easy to read and describes the scriptural & theological bases for Marian devotion (called hyperdulia). It also talks about the rosary and its scriptural and Jesus-oriented focus. We are meant to meditate on Christ’s life while reciting the rosary. It is like any meditative practice where you do a rote physical or verbal action while meditating. It helps in keepingg your mind focused.

I also wanted to throw out that the chaplet of Divine Mercy consists of very short, simple prayers (only two would be “new” – there are also three familiar prayers: the Our Father, Hail Mary, and Creed are each said one time at the beginning of the chaplet). The two “new” prayers are directed toward God the Father and mention only Jesus. They are not directed toward Mary or any saints. It is extremely easy to memorize and takes less than 10 minutes (maybe just about five) to recite. My kids and I recite it in the car when running errands and it really calms down my very intense four-year-old. Anyway, it’s nothing to be intimidated by and hopefully wouldn’t bring up any of your discomfort about praying “to” Our Lady and the saints.

Also, it’s not necessary to complete your penance in the church. I attend a univeristy parish and our priest says he often assigns a penance of a meditative hike to the college students. Clearly a hike could not be completed inside the church.

My most recent confession was last week and was after a daily mass at a church that is not my home parish. The priest had cut a small slit in the edge of the screen in the confessional (this was a very old church with the old-fashioned confessionals) and passed little prayers through – it was so funny! They just kept coming. I think he passed me five or six different things. (Separate from my penance – these were just to be “helpful”.)
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Thanks for the comment. It’s not that I don’t understand the practice…I frankly don’t believe in it, and reading a book isn’t going to change that. I don’t venerate statues, wear scapulars, pray with beads, I don’t pray as a previous poster indicated to “the Rosary” itself, or to images (like the Holy Face, Shroud of Turin), or to particular body parts of the Lord, or stages in the Lords life (like the Infant of Prague), I don’t believe in the veracity of any Marian Apparitions, period, full stop. These are all in my opinion pious superstitions, therefore while I find them objectionable, I don’t find them unwholesome, since being pious they tend to enrich the private lives and devotions of those who practice them and contribute to the love of God. I do ask the Divine Mother to pray for me and my family regularly, and I likewise ask for the intercession of St. Patrick of Ireland (The patron of my Irish forefathers, and my namesake), and I am thinking about about St. Justin Martyr, patron of philosophers, to the roll, since I am studying for a PhD in philosophy and have long admired Justin’s writing in the Apology.
 
UncommonGrace said:
PS: I thought this might be helpful regarding penance. Last fall, when my oldest was preparing for first reconciliation, our priest made the following analogy: a sin is like a wound. When you go to confession, it’s like going to the doctor and getting the wound stitched up. The penance is like a salve that you need to rub on it afterward. This is very simplistic (this was a class of 7- and 8-year-olds, afterall!), but I have found it helpful to remind myself of this from time to time.
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I like this a lot, thanks for sharing it! 👍

Although to extend the metaphor, in my case the worry is that I have an allergy to the salve…is it wrong to ask the doctor for something hypoallergenic?
 
HereticalTheist said:
I like this a lot, thanks for sharing it! 👍

Although to extend the metaphor, in my case the worry is that I have an allergy to the salve…is it wrong to ask the doctor for something hypoallergenic?
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But you don’t have an allergy to it. It’s just that you think it smells a bit funny and feels a bit gloopy, and think it won’t do anything for you.

Doesn’t mean it won’t do you good to apply it - nor does it mean that you shouldn’t trust the doctor to know what he’s on about.

Of course I could be wrong, you could get a literal physical allergic reaction from praying the Rosary, who knows? If that’s the case, that’s different of course. 😃
 
+HereticalTheist . . . there is a very real danger in your approach to Christianity and Catholicism . . .* as one who has shared on another thread that you just recently returned to the church after a long time away* . . . and that is that you are exhibiting in your dialogues a clear predeliction toward embracing the ancient heretical approach to Christ and His Church which is known as . . . “cafeteria Catholicism” . . . where an individual lifts up and establishes . . . themselves . . .as infinitely better than and above . . . God . . . and trusting in their own flawed judgment . . . they cherish and cling to the . . .“pick and choose” . . . method of belief . . . ignoring or casting aside whatever doesn’t please their sensibilities as members of the fallen race of sinful mankind . . . rather than humbly approaching the Kingdom of God and the salvation of one’s soul by our Wonderful Lord and our God as a . . . precious holy gift . . . to be explored and discovered . . . and prayer:gopray2:fully learned . . . *in the Shadow of the Holy Cross . . . so terribly stained with our Saviour’s blood . . at the tragically torn and wounded nail-scarred feet of our . . . Crucified Lord . . . Jesus **. . . the Blessed Christ . . . *

. . . all for Jesus+​
 
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