I disagree that people lose interest in sex as they get older.
That hasn’t happened with me and my husband. Quite the opposite. Now that the kids are grown up and out of the house, it’s like a honeymoon again. Even though we’re both a hundred pounds heavier than when were newlyweds, and I have a really bad knee, and his beard is striped with gray.
I think that the woman needs to understand that for a man, sexuality is one of the most important parts of his life. That’s just fact. And if she loves him (love is choice, remember?), she should seek to discover the reason for her lack of interest in sex, and work to alleviate it.
And tell your friend not to kid herself. Her husband will see that she isn’t enjoying it, unless she is a pretty darn good actress. It’s not just sex and the orgasm for a man. His biggest turn-on and thrill comes from knowing that he is pleasing his wife during sex.
Her problems with sex could very likely be something medical, and therefore treatable.
Other people in this thread have listed other reasons for a women’s lack of interest. Children/teenagers/college kids are major reasons! Also too much responsibility, too little time. Money worries bother a woman much more than a man. Weight and health issues–I am constantly in need of assurance from my husband that my bad knee doesn’t turn him off. Distractions, especially household and car repairs that are necessary but unaffordable. COLD–women do not generally like to be intimate if the room is cold. And pain, of course. Even smells–women are more sensitive to smells than a man, and if he or the house smells like garlic or onions, or cigarette smoke, or even certain colognes and soaps, his wife can be turned off completely.
Here’s another possibility. Sometimes, women get into the habit of saying “no,” and then the habit becomes ingrained and it is more and more difficult for them to get out of that habit because it’s now part of their personality and who they are. This is a very dangerous situation for a marriage. When my daughter got married last summer, the advice that I gave her was, “Say yes as often as possible even if you don’t feel in the mood.”
I said “dangerous” and I meant it. As I mentioned earlier, sex is extremely important to a man. If he is not getting fulfilled in his marriage, he will be a sitting duck for temptation, and it WILL occur. There are so many women who are seeking the company, love, and security of a relationship with a man and they will move in on him and try to win his affection. Again, even if the wife yields unwillingly and “allows” him to have his way with her, he will realize that she isn’t enjoying it, and this is almost as bad as if she refuses sex entirely. This will also become an occasion of sin for him.
(Please don’t get the wrong idea from my post. Yes, the man is STILL accountable for staying chaste, even if his wife refuses to have sex, or hates sex. That doesn’t give him the right to seek another source of sex outside of his marriage.)
roverbs 6:24, Matthew 5:27, Romans 1:24, Ephesians 5:5, 2 Timothy 2:22, Jeremiah 5:7, I Corinthians 6:9-10, 1 Corinthians 5:9, Hebrews13:4, 1 Corinthians 5:11, 1 John 2:16, Jude 1:7, Jeremiah 3:1, 1 Corinthians 6:9, Romans 1:27, 1 Timothy 6:9