Reservations about becoming a priest

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Andrew_11

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I am in high school and I feel that God may be calling me to the priesthood. I have one very serious reservation though that may cause me to not become a priest. If I were hearing the confession of another priest (or anyone actually) and they told me they had molested a child, I would strongly consider breaking the seal of confession. If that same person molested another child, I would feel horrible, almost like it was my fault. I would know that I could have prevented this from happening if I reported him to the police. On the other hand, if I did break the seal of confession, I would be violating the sacred duty of a priest to keep what happens in the confessional secret. Its like a lose lose situation, and if you really want to know what I think I would probably do, I think I would break the seal and report him to authorities. Anyone have any advice?
 
If you are serious about becoming a priest, then you might want to reconsider your position. You have an obligation (just as any lawyer or doctor does) to keep the person’s secret. That is a seal with God, and it isn’t your choice whether or not to break it. Rather, you should counsel the person to seek trained help.

Eamon
 
Isn’t part of the priest’s duty to try and aid the penitent while in the confessional, offer not just absolution but a penance and words of advice to lead them to a new path? They can’t act on their knowledge of the penitent outside of the confessional, but they can offer advice while inside. If in order to make amends for his deeds, the offending priest needs to own up to his mistakes outside of confession, shouldn’t the confessor make that suggestion during the sacrament?

Then the confessor doesn’t need to worry about what he can and can’t tell people. The confession remains sealed as long as the confessor never talks about it. If the penitent takes the confessor’s advice and attempts to make amends for his sin (which could/should include publicly acknowledging it since the victim may be in need of counseling and parents should be aware of that fact) then the confessor is off the hook so to speak as long as they keep their mouth shut (which shouldn’t be hard if the penitent comes clean). If the penitent does not take that advice and does not attempt to make amends, are they really absolved? I was under the impression that absolution is for the truly contrite and sincerely sorrowful, not for those that pay lip-service to the sacrament of confession while the intentions of their hearts don’t really seek to change anything.

This doesn’t help the confessor, since they still can’t say anything I guess. I don’t know… tough call.
 
Part of me says, “maybe I shouldn’t be a priest, I wouldn’t be able to adaquatly fufill the duties,”. Then part of me keeps telling me how strong the pull to a religous life is, and how it seems that I am cut out to be a priest, in every area except this. I also keep thinking, that maybe if priests would have turned in their fellow priests, this scandle would be nowhere near the magnitude it is today. I feel horrible saying that, I know that its wrong to say and feel, I’m just trying to honestly express my emotions, as I am really trying to discover what my voctation is. I feel so much confusion.
 
Why don’t you talk about this with a priest–your own parish priest or your diocese’s director of vocations or ask Fr. Serpa in the Ask an Apologist forum? Also, consider whether you are tying yourself up in knots about this issue because you are still unsure about your vocation.
 
The hardest thing for any Christian to do is forgive those whose sins are truly horrendous, and yet, Christ forgave the men who treated him so horribly. True, he wasn’t forgiving them for molesting children, but he did promise that those who did such things would have to answer for it before God, who alone has the right to judge their souls…

I recommend that you read the Father Brown mystery series by G. K. Chesterton. He tackles issues like being able to forgive what we find unforgiveable and who deserves forgiveness and other such weighty problems. They aren’t just mystery stories they are lesson in Christian love and true tolerance. I guarantee you’ll love the stories and the lessons.

I will remember you during Evening Prayer this evening, Andrew.
 
There are many of us who had to deal with what you are going through. Only you can decide if you have a true vocation. I my case I had a vocation to follow Jesus, and I still do, putting up with the nonsense of the hierarchy was another matter.

Would anyone who has a true vocation to follow Jesus molest a child? Or to reach the position of Bishop and cover up crimes committed by priests.
 
I think that in your serious decernment about the possibility of your having a vocation to the Priesthood, you are asking yourself the wrong question at this time. You shouldn’t been looking for the exceptions rather the rule.

You should be seeking out, with the help of a Spiritual Director, those things which are real indications that you may have a calling to the priesthood or if God is calling you in a different direction. Some questions you should be asking yourself, with the help of a Spiritual Director, is of coarse, what are those things which makes you think I have a vocation? Do I really believe in the Real Presence or is my belief more that it is great symbol but no more? The Priesthood is a vocation of service for life (just like marriage) but this service will demand real sacrifice. Perhaps the greatest sacrifice you’ll face is the loneliness that is inheriant with a chaste and celibate life, can you live that type of life? Do you see Christ in everyone? And what I believe is the most important question you must ask yourself, what is your prayer life really like?

Again, in my opinion, these, and similar questions, are what you should, with the help of a good spiritual director, be decerning.
 
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Della:
The hardest thing for any Christian to do is forgive those whose sins are truly horrendous, and yet, Christ forgave the men who treated him so horribly. True, he wasn’t forgiving them for molesting children, but he did promise that those who did such things would have to answer for it before God, who alone has the right to judge their souls…

I recommend that you read the Father Brown mystery series by G. K. Chesterton. He tackles issues like being able to forgive what we find unforgiveable and who deserves forgiveness and other such weighty problems. They aren’t just mystery stories they are lesson in Christian love and true tolerance. I guarantee you’ll love the stories and the lessons.

I will remember you during Evening Prayer this evening, Andrew.
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Its not about forgiving them, its about the fact that most child molesters do it habitualy. If I do not tell authorities, I may be putting another child at risk.
 
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TOME:
I think that in your serious decernment about the possibility of your having a vocation to the Priesthood, you are asking yourself the wrong question at this time. You shouldn’t been looking for the exceptions rather the rule.

You should be seeking out, with the help of a Spiritual Director, those things which are real indications that you may have a calling to the priesthood or if God is calling you in a different direction. Some questions you should be asking yourself, with the help of a Spiritual Director, is of coarse, what are those things which makes you think I have a vocation? Do I really believe in the Real Presence or is my belief more that it is great symbol but no more? The Priesthood is a vocation of service for life (just like marriage) but this service will demand real sacrifice. Perhaps the greatest sacrifice you’ll face is the loneliness that is inheriant with a chaste and celibate life, can you live that type of life? Do you see Christ in everyone? And what I believe is the most important question you must ask yourself, what is your prayer life really like?

Again, in my opinion, these, and similar questions, are what you should, with the help of a good spiritual director, be decerning.
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All these things you mentioned I can do. I truely believe in the real presence, and I could live a celibate life, there are two things that are holding me back from definitively saying that I want to be a priest. One is the topic we are discussing. The other is that I feel God may be calling me to be a missonary. I feel God is calling me to one of those two things. Perhaps this struggle I am having now is God telling me that I should be a missonary, not a priest.
 
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Andrew_11:
I am in high school and I feel that God may be calling me to the priesthood. I have one very serious reservation though that may cause me to not become a priest. If I were hearing the confession of another priest (or anyone actually) and they told me they had molested a child, I would strongly consider breaking the seal of confession. If that same person molested another child, I would feel horrible, almost like it was my fault. I would know that I could have prevented this from happening if I reported him to the police. On the other hand, if I did break the seal of confession, I would be violating the sacred duty of a priest to keep what happens in the confessional secret. Its like a lose lose situation, and if you really want to know what I think I would probably do, I think I would break the seal and report him to authorities. Anyone have any advice?
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Andrew_11, I too have heard the calling, and I am a junior in high school. I am 100% locked up in my decision, and no one can come close to changing that. In regards to your situation (?), I think that you should pray about it. Should that situation come up, pray about it, and tell the other priest to do what God would want him to do. You cannot break your vows of secrecy in the confessional. If a person told that he murdered someone, you’d have to stay silent, the same goes for a child molesting priest.

However, keep in mind that a lot of the accusations were false, and were just attempts to get attention or large settlement sums from the Church.

Andrew, pray about this, but remember: the devil will stop at nothing to keep you from doing what God wants you to do. Do not give up, do not relent, do not succumb to the evil one. Do what God calls you to do, do not hesitate in your decision to follow him (I found that out the “hard way”), have faith, and stand up to those, including the devil, who oppose you and your discernment process.
 
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Andrew_11:
Its not about forgiving them, its about the fact that most child molesters do it habitualy. If I do not tell authorities, I may be putting another child at risk.
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So are you saying that you believe that someone who confesses their sins, repents, pledges to sin no more, and is absolved must be reported to the authorities? If you feel this way about priests who are child abusers, where would you draw the line as a priest? Would you report dads who confess to incest, fathers who confess to rape, murderers? A priest is neither a lawyer, a district attorney, a judge, nor a policeman. A priest is not dispensing criminal justice, but absolution and spiritual reconciliation. Perhaps, you should consider a career in criminal justice if this continues to be a stumbling block to a vocation as a priest.
 
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Andrew_11:
Its not about forgiving them, its about the fact that most child molesters do it habitualy. If I do not tell authorities, I may be putting another child at risk.
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Well, I brought up forgiving them because you, as a priest, would have to have compassion for sinners no matter what sin they committed. I think your citing child molesters says that you have a personal dislike for such sinners more than for others, such as rapists or adulterers or wife beaters. All of them need forgiveness from a priest no matter what sins they may have committed.

You would have the same dilemma if a penitent told you he was a serial killer. All you could do is encourage the person to turn himself in and make restitution. If he really wants absolution that is what he would have to do. Besides, I don’t think most child molesters are going to confess it. They like to keep it secret for fear someone might find out. I’m sure as a part of your seminary training you would be taught how to deal with such cases.
 
Andrew, it seem you have put alot of time in prayer and contemplation about your vocation in life, so, again if you haven’t seek out a good spiritual advisor. That person should be able to help you by atlease giving you an objective point of view.
 
A priest does not break the seal of confession under any circumstances. :tsktsk:

Don’t you trust God’s system? :hmmm:

kathie :bowdown:
 
I agree with harinkj that a priest must not break the seal of confession under any circumstances.

A couple of other considerations:

From what I have read about priest molesters, many of the worst offenders were never repentant, in fact saw nothing wrong in their actions. What makes you think they would confess those things in the confessional?

Also, for anonymous confessions heard in the confessional, you would not know who the penitent was anyway.

If a husband confessed adultery, would you report him to his wife?

There is no point in anyone going to confession unless they are aware they have sinned, are repentanant of the sin, and plan to not repeat the sin.
 
I still think you are jumping the gun by being so worried about confessions of a child molester. It’s just too distant in the future to worry about it.

I am sure, if you decern that you may have a priestly vocation, during your seminary studies, you will be studying just such cases like the one that is concerning you so. You may find that it is not a problem at all, because all bishops reserve the absolution of certain sins to themselves. I don’t know that your worries is based on a potential situation that your bishop has already decided to handle himself.

So, again, make sure you have a good spiritual advisor who will help you through the process of decrenment - normally you should not do on your own.
 
Stop dithering over your vocation and find a spiritual director who can guide you through the discernment process. Sounds to me like your going this alone which is the worst thing you can do. This is just the devil whispering in your ear, giving you excuses about why you shouldn’t follow your calling.

Spend an hour or more a week at an adoration chapel in your diocese if you can find one and frequent the sacraments. And take it from me, son. If you really do have a vocation, you will never, never be happy until you pursue it. Sex, alcohol, money…it’s all dirt compared to your vocation. Don’t look back in 20 years and say, “I wish I had…” Jesus is persistent. He will continue to gently knock on the door of our hearts, no matter how much we try to ignore Him. :blessyou:
 
I am in high school and I feel that God may be calling me to the priesthood. I have one very serious reservation though that may cause me to not become a priest.
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I’m sure you’ll have other questions and reservations as time goes by.

Just test it , enroll in a seminary if you ain’t there already (you didn’t say if you were in a high school seminary or not).

If you can’t work you’re way through it, if you just don’t believe you’re being called to be a priest, so be it. You’ll have a good basic classical type academic education, and you can go to law school or instead. There certainly is a desperate need for lawyers in this country as well.
 
JimG said:
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From what I have read about priest molesters, many of the worst offenders were never repentant, in fact saw nothing wrong in their actions. What makes you think they would confess those things in the confessional?
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You make a good point.

JimG said:
\ Also, for anonymous confessions heard in the confessional, you would not know who the penitent was anyway.

If a husband confessed adultery, would you report him to his wife?
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You cannot compare raping a child with adultury. You can’t even compare rape to adutury. This is a very bad analogy.
 
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