Reserved seating, exceptionally annoyed

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My parish has a small church.

They reserve seats for the parents and siblings of the child receiving 1st Communion or Confirmation.

They lay the law down on photographers. Take your pictures after Mass in the parish hall.

Jim
 
JimR-OCDS said:
My parish has a small church.

They reserve seats for the parents and siblings of the child receiving 1st Communion or Confirmation.

They lay the law down on photographers. Take your pictures after Mass in the parish hall.
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That sounds like my parish. We have First Communion at the Sat. Vigil because that’s the least crowded Mass. Fr. usually tells the Sat. regulars the week before that the Mass will be more crowded than usual so they might want to consider going at a different time.

Each family gets one reserved pew but I’ve never seen anyone try to save multiple pews or kick anyone out of a seat they have sat down in. Usually the more likely scenario that plays out is that the families whose reserved pew isn’t filled, will invite others who are having trouble finding a seat to fill in the rest of their row. I would seriously dislike a parish like the OP’s where they didn’t treat each other like family.
 
That would be a brilliant parish fundraiser - auction them off ahead of time! First three rows reserved for the second graders. The row behind that goes to the Smiths, and the row behind that to the Jones. LOL!

I’d suggest selling them at tiered prices like concert tickets, but that would be unfair to families without the means. :-p
 
Such the entrepreneur , you are! I was thinking more in lines of a free lottery. Seating still based on the numbers that get drawn, though. But I like your enthusiasm for fund-raising!
 
Allie1 said:
As a result of this my husband and I, even though we had arrived early to a mostly empty church were forced to sit in a horrible area of the church, behind our church piano by our organ.
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Nothing stopped you from taking a seat in these “bookmarked” pews. You chose to abide by this made up “reservation” and sit in less desirable seats.

What I would have done is sit in the pew of my choice. If someone said something I would have replied that there are no reserved seats and actual seats are taken by those sitting in them, not by song books.
 
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Allie1 said:
Actually we did sit in a seat, and we were approached by the lady who had reserved the pew for herself, who herself was adamant that we must leave our spot.
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At which time I would quietly decline, and return to my business.
 
1ke said:
I would have just smiled and sat there, not arguing and not moving, but that’s me. I probably spend more time in confession than you! 😀
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Your approach definitely sounds like the approach my husband and I should have taken. You sound more peaceful, less mouthy and argumentative than I am. Silence, smiling and glued to my seat. I like your approach
 
CCTV? Ummm they used it at WYD so I’m pretty sure it’s legitimate. It’s not like your on your couch watching EWTN…your at church.
 
pianistclare said:
It’s not unfounded, and we don’t have these issue because the pastor does not tolerate it.
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OP and all. Clare’s point is at the heart of this question. I have been an usher for many years in a number of different Catholic churches. Were there is a strong pastor who sets forth the conditions, this happens rarely. Unfortunately, I have encountered too many pastors who are unwilling to offend anyone, and therefore you get this situation, and not just at first communion masses. Too many namby-pamby priests who do no set forth workable guidelines.
I am surprised that there was no section set forth for the parents of the children. In my current parish, the children receiving first communion sit with their parents in the front rows of the church. That eliminates parents of first communicants encountering the situation of the OP.
 
Honestly, if this is perturbing, I would simply attend another mass time where you might have a larger choice of seating. In most parishes, First Holy Communion is typically not celebrated at every mass. Its at one, maybe two mass times if its a large group or even a special mass time on Saturday. It should be a good sign to you that so many people are coming from far away to watch their little grandchild/niece/nephew celebrate the day. When at all possible, we plan to attend a different mass, as we always know at least the week ahead of time at which masses it will be celebrated. ========

Since it was your child’s communion, I am not sure why they did not have reserved seating for just the parents. But i find parents leave their seats anyways to block everyone’s view to take photos of their kids.
 
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Brittany said:
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QwertyGirl:
I would imagine witnessing one’s child first communion is a huge milestone for a Catholic parent.
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I must have missed this part. I wasn’t aware that their own child was receiving their first communion. In this case, it does make it more frustrating.

Still, complaining about it here won’t fix anything. The proper thing to do would be to talk to the pastor or the people doing this thing. Ranting about it to internet strangers won’t do a thing.
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It actually does, though.

Venting is proven to be therapeutic. The OP has even thanked folks for listening. They’ve acknowledged that they’ve gotten great ideas for moving forward and ensuring this doesn’t happen to anyone else. Venting can also help someone gather their own thoughts and figure out how to handle the situation for themselves. We’ve all vented to friends (even when the matter isn’t actcually significant - I think this one is) and felt better, maybe readjusted our thinking, and walked away better off for the experience.
 
This year at the Christmas Eve children’s Masses at my mom’s parish, saving seats was absolutely forbidden. The deacon was spinning jokes about bouncers. Meanwhile, those of us concerned with small children were stymied.

Seating for this Mass is so crowded that they split it into two different Mass locations and you still have to arrive 75-90 minutes early to get a spot. We were being told to make sure very small children behaved in church for up to two and a half hours. Somebody didn’t think that one through.

My sister doesn’t take my nieces to church. She pulled the two younger ones from our plans because of this seating requirement, which was completely reasonable given their ages and temperaments. We had to talk her into letting us taking the oldest.

Sometimes seat-saving is the only practical solution to the problem of a child’s limits and needs. Yes, some people abuse it. No, there probably isn’t a charitable way to police it. At a milestone Mass that involves the participation (and attendance) of many children, I would expect to get there very, very early. 45 minutes actually sounds kind of close to me.
 
Used to be a problem at our Parish…but for high attendance Masses, our Pastor announces that like a restaurant, no one will be seated until their entire party arrives, if they want to sit together…every few minutes before the mass, the ushers direct everyone from both aisles of a row of pews to move inward, opening the outboard seats for seating…it works well.
 
People still try to save seats. But this is what my parish does and it works fairly well.

Our parish splits up the First Communion kids between Masses so there are not so many at a given Mass. Every family is allowed to reserve seats up to a preset limit and those spots will be assigned and marked by name. (We have chairs rather than pews.) Any additional guests have to find seating elsewhere.

We also have a general policy that people can save seats up to 10 minutes before whatever Mass/event is taking place. At 10 minutes before hand, any chair without a living body or official Church reservation marker is up for grabs.
 
I suppose when we’ve had Communion 257,864,876 times where people sit becomes paramount.
 
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