Reserved seating, exceptionally annoyed

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Pup7 said:
It actually does, though.

Venting is proven to be therapeutic. The OP has even thanked folks for listening. They’ve acknowledged that they’ve gotten great ideas for moving forward and ensuring this doesn’t happen to anyone else. Venting can also help someone gather their own thoughts and figure out how to handle the situation for themselves. We’ve all vented to friends (even when the matter isn’t actcually significant - I think this one is) and felt better, maybe readjusted our thinking, and walked away better off for the experience.
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You’re absolutely right. Writing this out and venting my frustration for me here has felt so much better. And I truly do appreciate everyone’s (name removed by moderator)ut into my thread, even from those who may not think my frustration is warranted.

I will most definitely be talking with my pastor with so many of the great ideas people have brought forth here. Especially now, that I think, I can approach this situation not so much from a place of annoyance/frustration/complaining. I feel that creating this thread has relieved much of those feelings. But now I can approach my pastor, to make him aware of the situation, and bring him ideas to try to make it better. He is a very kind and receptive priest, and does care greatly about the parish and issues within it.
 
I was upset for you when I read about it. I’m so sorry that happened. I hope you were able to still get some joy out of the moment.
 
colonel, sir

first communion is about second to marriage as far as the sacraments wherein family groups attend

i know certain bullies show up uber-early and attempt to block off entire rows of seats for family members who may’ve not ever before seen the inside of a catholic church

great; you want a reserved pew?

pay the pastor for it; imo…
 
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phil19034 said:
Yes, I think this is very true. While, some might be practicing parishioners, it’s often a bigger issue with guests.

So I typically think of it like this: “don’t be the reason the seat savers don’t come back to mass”
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The parents need to be telling the “seat savers” what the policy is. Everyone wants a nice seat; it is not fair to those who arrive earlier to find all the seats have been blanketed ahead of time.
 
Xanthippe_Voorhees said:
CCTV? Ummm they used it at WYD so I’m pretty sure it’s legitimate. It’s not like your on your couch watching EWTN…your at church.
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If you are at the mass— in the actual place the mass is being offered— and have screens broadcasting like a Jumbotron so those farther back can see, that is fine.

If you are not physically present and watching it from another location— another building for example— that does not fulfill your obligation.
 
Is this a “catholic” thing that you can’t save pew space? It’s always done in protestant churches, secular events, school events, etc. This is my first year as a catechist and I had to save four seats for catechists who had to arrive late to the Easter Vigil. Come to think of it, I got some odd responses when I told someone I was saving the seats. Also, we needed to be able to get out of our seats during the vigil. I could hear the man telling others that I was saving seats.
 
My late grandfather had a saying which I will paraphrase “bottoms reserve seats”.

I think this is a case of bad management. Parishes should be aware of the norms for the sacraments of initiation (just immediate family typically attending or big family event, extended family mostly already parishioners or mostly out of town) and plan accordingly depending on the size of the building.

This could mean spreading over different dates, having an additional separate mass (I think this is why I have never seen a baptism or first communion during a normal mass), telling the families that only parents and siblings can be accommodated (this was the case at my confirmation) or rearranging the space so there are more seats.
 
Dlee said:
Is this a “catholic” thing that you can’t save pew space? It’s always done in protestant churches, secular events, school events, etc. This is my first year as a catechist and I had to save four seats for catechists who had to arrive late to the Easter Vigil. Come to think of it, I got some odd responses when I told someone I was saving the seats. Also, we needed to be able to get out of our seats during the vigil. I could hear the man telling others that I was saving seats.
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I wouldn’t necessarily call my feelings regarding this a “Catholic thing” but a “Catholic Mama Thing”. Look I’ve known catecchumins as friends who’ve come to the church during the Easter vigil, very very exciting, and happy time, and as a friend I am happy for them. As a Catholic mother though, First Communion for my one and only child, is different looking at it from my perspective as his mother. To see how his faith in the sacrament has grown, from his first sacrament of initiation of Baptism as a baby…to the momentous event now of receiving the Eucharist for the first time. He has been wanting to participate since he was 2. First communion morning was super exciting, he was truly giddy with excitement…as I was for him.

Then at the church, families were not just saving seats (if they were just doing this, my feelings wouldn’t be like this)…they were saving rows of pews. Taking it upon themselves to create faux reservation signs with song books, somehow those are now reservation signs. And then shooing parents of first communicants away…because those pews with faux song book reservation signs are “reserved” for friends whose buttocks are not physically present in the church, but will be coming much later. And somehow I am supposed to have a respect for the faux reservations of entire pews…when my buttocks is present early and needing a seat. There are actually many seats open if it weren’t for these people and their faux “reservation” of pews, and coming to argue with you because you’re not respecting their faux reservation sign, demanding that you leave their pew.
 
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I understand why your husband didn’t want to cause a disturbance in church, but pews aren’t sunbeds around a pool that you can throw a towel on (in this case, a hymnbook).

It was extremely rude of the woman to argue about this. If her family want to sit there all together, they have to get to church early enough to do that. You can’t swan in at the last minute and walk right to the front.
 
There was one lady who would sit on the same spot of the pew at every mass she attended. One time my friend having came a bit early sat on her ‘spot’. Then the lady came, which my friend oblivious to, as he was deep in prayer. She stood near him, not wanting to sit down, even though there were empty seats available. After a while, finally she tapped my friend"s shoulder and said, “that’s my seat.”

With a look of puzzlement and jolted from his prayer, my friend not wanting to argue, perhaps too shock and at a loss for word, rose up and gave her the seat.

Real life experience this.

The thing we Catholics do.
 
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Well it could be worse, those tacks … 🤨

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thelibrarian said:
. But i find parents leave their seats anyways to block everyone’s view to take photos of their kids.
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Yes, we used to find one or two did that at our parish. It was shocking. But now all photography is forbidden, on grounds of reverence, apart from an official professional who produces a video for parents to buy… Other photographs are taken in the parish hall after the service.
 
Yes maybe a limit on how many seats one gets to save. I mean yes it is a milestone for the poster but it is also a milestone for all those who are saving seats,. When people save a how pwe ahead of time they often don’t really need the whole thing too so it is either wasted or a late comer gets a better seat
 
Only official photographers are allowed to take pictures for First Holy Communion and Confirmation. All photographers are told where to stand and when. There instructions for those taking photos for weddings and baptisms as well. If there are official photos taken during any Mass or any gathering at the parish then the photographer is introduced and people who don’t want their picture in the magazine etc are to let the photographer know immediately.

My diocese has some simple rules: Photography is only allowed if permission has been asked from the priest present. No photos can be posted on social media of persons who haven’t given their permission.

Magazines send their written material and photos to the parish to be approved before it is printed or posted on social media. Parents/guardians of minors have to sign a paper saying that they are OK with their children being interviewed and photos taken.
 
It’s the age we live in. The “me” age.
The philosophy seems to be “I want what I want. I want it now. And I don’t care what you want.”
Each family should received a maximum number of seating spots.
In most cases, these events are videoed now, so those who are not amount the select group who attend in person can see it later on video.
 
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