Reserved seating, exceptionally annoyed

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Then stand up and don’t make it so difficult for others to clamber over you in tight spaces. I’m not talking about sitting on the end - I actually don’t care where people sit.

Never said there wasn’t a valid reason - my mother is on 40 mg of Lasix a day. I get that. But these people were about half my age - and all she had to do was stand up. I was at the Air Force chapel, and the pews are VERY close together. The main post chapel is probably three times its size with more space between the pews. Just stand up.

She stood up just fine when the service was over.
 
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My point was more about the people who hog the end spots and refuse to scoot in.

DH rarely makes it to mass (he is not at all elderly, but, has serious health problems), he looks healthy as a horse. He has to sit on the end because of bathroom and heat issues (the old folks like to keep it eleventy million degrees in the building!)

Yes, he always stands up in the aisle to let anyone in, if there were need.
 
My comment was about people who are too rude to stand up who are legitimately capable of doing so. There wasn’t much scooting in to be done.

Actually she and her pew mate chatted through most of the service and only moved when it was over. 😑

Before I took Communion, if I wasn’t going up for a blessing, I just stood up and stepped into the aisle if I was on the end, or just stood up to get out of people’s way if I was in the middle. I can’t understand why others aren’t as considerate. I don’t care where folks sit. Just a bit of common courtesy is all that’s expected. No one should have to clamber over someone perfectly capable of rising. That’s all.
 
Allie1 said:
Is my annoyance unfounded?
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I think that there are many problems in this life—even ones as frankly trivial as this—and that we are called to patiently and prayerfully endure all of them.
 
Unless I’ve missed something (there are 133 posts after all!), I’d like to offer one point of view that doesn’t seem to have been raised so far. The problem that I have is with the very idea of people reserving seats so that groups of family/friends can all sit together. The way that I’ve always seen it, both when I was an Anglican and later as a Catholic, the Church is something that transcends family and social groups. At Mass we call all of our fellow Catholics (indeed, all Christians) our brothers and sisters. Jesus was quite clear that “family” doesn’t necessarily mean our biological relatives, but that anybody who follows him become part of his family. And he was also rather keen on throwing open his hospitality to the people gathered from highways and byways. When we go to Mass, shouldn’t we all be one big family, one big group of friends? Obviously there are good practical reasons for trying to keep parents and children together and for having relatives or friends available to help people who are elderly or disabled. But when I’m in church it doesn’t occur to me that my uncles, aunts, and cousins, or somebody I went to school with 20 years ago, has any more of a right to sit with me than anybody else does. Also, because my family and most of my friends are Protestant, I’m more often than not at a Catholic church by myself, and it’s lovely if I find myself sitting with a family (more often than not from some remote part of Europe or from Africa or Asia), and even though we’re not blood relatives, and may not be of the same nationality or speak the same language, we’re part of this worldwide family of the Catholic Church.

Just my opinion, but I feel like if we’re celebrating a First Holy Communion, that is the perfect time to emphasise that we are all part of the one Body of Christ and that that is something much bigger and more important than saving seats so that extended families and social circles can sit together, which inevitably excludes people who are our fellow Catholics and our other brothers and sisters in Christ who share our one baptism. My own First Holy Communion was a bit different, as I was received into the Church as an adult, and was the only person being received at that Mass, and it was so touching the way that people I’d never even met before came up to me at the end of Mass to tell me how welcome I was in the Church.
 
We should practice being annoyed less and “exceptionally annoyed” never.
 
Allie1 said:
Does anyone else, have these type of issues in their parishes? Is my annoyance unfounded?
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I think that this issue is typical of many parishes, every denomination, every large venue where you don’t buy a ticket for a reserved seat. It’s hard for the ushers to control and if anything is said, people react in a not-so-church-like manner, even though you will most likely never see these people again.
The First Eucharist Children sit with their parents in assigned rows and they receive as a family: mom, dad, and child only. Siblings join only if they have no one else to sit with.
 
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Londoner said:
Also, because my family and most of my friends are Protestant, I’m more often than not at a Catholic church by myself, and it’s lovely if I find myself sitting with a family (more often than not from some remote part of Europe or from Africa or Asia), and even though we’re not blood relatives, and may not be of the same nationality or speak the same language, we’re part of this worldwide family of the Catholic Church.
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I’m like you in that I normally attend Mass on my own, both in the UK and abroad. I see it in a very similar way, it’s great to be part of a world-wide community of Catholics. At Easter Vigil four years ago, people were also saying “welcome” to me and shaking my hand. A lovely experience.
 
Next thing you know is they will be bringing tables and ironing boards to block off seats, like they did in Chicago to block off streets when it snowed.

I often wondered why an usher was needed to find seats. There are plenty of seats most of the time. It’s just that none of them seem willing to move and let you in.
 
I wouldn’t object to having a few reserved seats, clearly marked, for medical needs. I was a a specific mass where I was told to find a seat by the aisle, so I did. Later on this couple came up and sat right next to me, didn’t say anything, despite the church being half empty. When the communion minister had to lean over me I realized I had sat in their usual spot.

A little reserved card on their seat would have saved a lot of embarrassment and I was just grateful it was a mass time I rarely attended.
 
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In our old Victorian church, there are some half-pews right on the front row where people in wheelchairs or mobility scooters can park up and sit, and their companions can be next to them. It seems to work quite well, we have 3 or 4 people who use those spots regularly.

I’ve never seen any seating arguments at church in England. It just doesn’t seem to happen.
 
Isca said:
In our old Victorian church, there are some half-pews right on the front row where people in wheelchairs or mobility scooters can park up and sit, and their companions can be next to them. It seems to work quite well, we have 3 or 4 people who use those spots regularly.

I’ve never seen any seating arguments at church in England. It just doesn’t seem to happen.
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I’m married to a Brit. I can give you 15 reasons why. 🤣 Most of them don’t paint my countrymen in a good light, I’m afraid. Yes, I’m laughing, even as I’m shaking my head.
 
I was brought up to stand to let someone by if I was already seated I’ve seen it both ways more than once that they don’t move over to let the person back into their seat they had been sitting in before they went up to receive. Is this the norm? Or is it just a southern thing?(I was raised this way) same for giving up my seat to someone who is needs it more or to an elderly woman/ man ,but again I was raised this way. So again is this normal thing around the country?
 
Good question, actually. I didn’t think so, and I’ve been a lot of places in my day.

The person blocking the aisle didn’t even move, and the aisles in that chapel are about half the depth of “normal” aisles (to put the kneelers up and down, you have to almost sit - that’s how tight it is).

I too was raised to stand up or move out of the way or give up your seat. I’d never seen anyone just be a jerk about it, complete with side eye. It’s not like I was asking her to go stand in the parking lot 😁 - I just didn’t want to have to climb over her, which I ended up having to do anyway.

I don’t know that it’s a Southern thing in particular. My Philadelphian dad would’ve had words with me if I’d just sat there like a bump on a log giving side eye when someone was trying to get by.
 
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Allie1 said:
This past Sunday was my child’s First Holy Communion. This is typically a very packed mass, which we knew ahead of time. My husband, child, and myself arrived 45 minutes early. At the time of our arrival, the church was 1/4 full. however, individuals who were there. Were claiming large rows of the pews for their families, friends, relatives. Who themselves have not arrived. They were using song books to hang on the end of the pews, as a reservation sign to claim entire rows of pews for themselves.
The only truly reserved pews (with real reservation signs), were the 4 pews in the front of the church for the first communion children to sit.
As a result of this my husband and I, even though we had arrived early to a mostly empty church were forced to sit in a horrible area of the church, behind our church piano by our organ.

Here are my feelings about this.
  1. Song books are not reservation signs, they are song books.
  2. My thoughts are a pew is not taken until your buttocks is physically in it. This idea that an individual person can claim ownership of entire rows of empty pews. And shoo other parishioners away who are physically there to sit, is ludicrous.
Does anyone else, have these type of issues in their parishes? Is my annoyance unfounded?
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You’re absolutely right to be annoyed, but like some comments above, it is the Pastor who should not tolerate it. AND i think you should have just put the song books back in their place to sit where was rightfully your family’s seat on that particular day. Nobody could argue against it…
 
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Having a physical fight over seating in a church?

Jesus wept…
 
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One could say the same about the childish pettiness of reserving seats with missals (seriously, who does that?), but I’m with Kermit the Frog on that one.
  • sips tea -
 
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