Resignation

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MariaTS

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I have chosen, in the interest of preserving my physical and mental health, to resign as the youth minister at my church. There are too many intolerant and stupid brutes at the church that I attend. And I do not mean the liberal definition of intolerant when I state this. Also, out of love for my boyfriend, I have decided that it is best for our relationship to end. It is a successful, happy relationship but he should not have to experience harassment because of the type of girl that he loves. I believe that I had too much faith in my church and too much faith in a relationship that couldn’t work. We have decided to still be friends and still live together but we will no longer be in a relationship. Also, I will still attend my church but I will just not participate in any of the leadership positions within my church. I am actively seeking another, better, Catholic church that I can attend. I am also actively seeking another job as a youth minister but I expect that I will be required to get more training, in fact, I believe it is for the best. I have also applied for several other jobs at churches, youth centers, and domestic abuse shelters. I have also decided that I should also volunteer a lot more.
 
May God bless you, Maria. I hope what you have suffered will end by bringing you closer to Jesus and helping you to grow in holiness and to expand your ability to feel compassion and love for others, even for stupid people.😉 I pray you will stay close to the Lord, trust in Him, and that His will for your life will be made clear to you and be done.
 
MariaTS said:
…I am actively seeking another, better, Catholic church that I can attend…
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Hi, Maria ~

I’m curious as to what you’ll do in a year or two when the priest at your newly-found parish moves on (as they often do in the Catholic Church), and a new priest (or DRE, or music director, or any number of parishoners) comes in with whom you may not see eye to eye on various issues? Will you hop to yet another parish, and keep on hopping, theoretically, for the rest of your life? Situations in parishes change all the time. What is it that you’re looking for that will be constant and unchanging in any particular Catholic parish? :confused:

Gaudium de veritate,

Cruciform
+T+
 
. We have decided to still be friends and still live together but we will no longer be in a relationship.
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Cohabitation is not allowed before marriage even if there is no relationship, wouldn’t this be grounds for not getting hired?
 
BerhaneSelassie said:
Cohabitation is not allowed before marriage even if there is no relationship, wouldn’t this be grounds for not getting hired?
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Since, as of now. we do not intend on getting married and we are just friends who live together for mainly financial reasons, it should not affect me getting hired.
 
Cruciform said:
Hi, Maria ~

I’m curious as to what you’ll do in a year or two when the priest at your newly-found parish moves on (as they often do in the Catholic Church), and a new priest (or DRE, or music director, or any number of parishoners) comes in with whom you may not see eye to eye on various issues? Will you hop to yet another parish, and keep on hopping, theoretically, for the rest of your life? Situations in parishes change all the time. What is it that you’re looking for that will be constant and unchanging in any particular Catholic parish? :confused:

Gaudium de veritate,

Cruciform
+T+
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I left because of the parishioners, it had nothing to do with the priest or any other church leadership. Also, the reason I left had nothing to do with not seeing eye to eye on various issues. The reason I left was because I was getting threats and people were attacking me. Hopefully, I will not have to continue going to other parishes because of the intolerance and danger posed by men. I am looking for a Catholic parish that does not have a large percentage of parishioners who seek to be detrimental to my physical and/or mental health.
 
MariaTS said:
I have chosen, in the interest of preserving my physical and mental health, to resign as the youth minister at my church. There are too many intolerant and stupid brutes at the church that I attend. And I do not mean the liberal definition of intolerant when I state this. Also, out of love for my boyfriend, I have decided that it is best for our relationship to end. It is a successful, happy relationship but he should not have to experience harassment because of the type of girl that he loves. I believe that I had too much faith in my church and too much faith in a relationship that couldn’t work. We have decided to still be friends and still live together but we will no longer be in a relationship. Also, I will still attend my church but I will just not participate in any of the leadership positions within my church. I am actively seeking another, better, Catholic church that I can attend. I am also actively seeking another job as a youth minister but I expect that I will be required to get more training, in fact, I believe it is for the best. I have also applied for several other jobs at churches, youth centers, and domestic abuse shelters. I have also decided that I should also volunteer a lot more.
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One question that comes to mind here is whether or not you, as a Catholic youth minister, beleive that it is morally permissable for a boyfriend and girlfriend to live together without the blessings of the Sacrament of Matrimony. I thought that this would be a mortal sin and that you would go to eternal damnation in hell for something like that?
 
MariaTS said:
Since, as of now. we do not intend on getting married and we are just friends who live together for mainly financial reasons, it should not affect me getting hired.
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Be careful. This situation may lead to scandal (by those not aware that you are not in a relationship) and may be viewed by those you are trying to set an example for as a youth minister as permissible. No matter what your reasons are, cohabitation in an unmarried relationship can lead to scandal. Just food for thought.
 
MariaTS said:
…The reason I left was because I was getting threats and people were attacking me… intolerance and danger posed by men… a large percentage of parishioners who seek to be detrimental to my physical and/or mental health.
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Why would “a large percentage” of male parishoners be “intolerant” and “detrimental to [your] physical and mental health”? I’ve never heard of such a thing. And why would your priest or bishop allow this?

Gaudium de veritate,

Cruciform
+T+
 
MariaTS said:
Since, as of now. we do not intend on getting married and we are just friends who live together for mainly financial reasons, it should not affect me getting hired.
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The sin of scandal that living with someone of the opposite sex can and does cause is great and should be enough to stop one from being hired as a youth minister.

If you can not live by the rules of God why should the youth you minister to think that they have to?
 
Cruciform said:
Why would “a large percentage” of male parishoners be “intolerant” and “detrimental to [your] physical and mental health”? I’ve never heard of such a thing. And why would your priest or bishop allow this?

Gaudium de veritate,

Cruciform
+T+
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You think a priest has that much control!? You’ve gotta be kidding me. As for the male parishenrs, I can see it appeneing. If those males are anything like my father Maria would be lucky to be alive. If the parish is blue collar or has a lot of game hunters going there, what Maria is experiencing is par for the course. She would be getting that at any parish on the west side of Grand Rapids where I live. Likely the northeast side parishes also.
 
aspawloski4th said:
You think a priest has that much control!? You’ve gotta be kidding me.
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Mine certainly does. Also, I mentioned the bishop as well. In any case, the men in my parish—most of them blue collar hunters and fishermen—would never tolerate a woman being threatened or harmed in any way. What kind of Neanderthals are populating the parishes you have in mind? If this is really happening, then at the very least the police should be brought into the matter. I’ve been involved in quite a few parishes in the Grand Rapids area, and have never even heard of such a thing.

Gaudium de veritate,

Cruciform
+T+
 
Interesting clash of perspectives! (posts 13 and 14)

I must say #14 sounds rather more plausible than #13. But maybe that’s just me and my too-limited experience!😛
 
With a few small exceptions the OP reminds me of myself at the same age 18. I think some are expecting her to act like she is 48 rather than 18. Some of you posting here are too worried about intricate details rather than the big picture.
 
aspawloski4th said:
I think some are expecting her to act like she is 48 rather than 18. Some of you posting here are too worried about intricate details rather than the big picture.
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Nope. Age has nothing to do with it. Teaching what the Church teaches is all anyone here is asking her to do. If that is what you call an “intricate detail”, then we must disagree, because I see it as a MAJOR detail. And that is the big picture.
 
Cruciform said:
Mine certainly does. Also, I mentioned the bishop as well. In any case, the men in my parish—most of them blue collar hunters and fishermen—would never tolerate a woman being threatened or harmed in any way. What kind of Neanderthals are populating the parishes you have in mind? If this is really happening, then at the very least the police should be brought into the matter. I’ve been involved in quite a few parishes in the Grand Rapids area, and have never even heard of such a thing.

Gaudium de veritate,

Cruciform
+T+
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I am born raised and live in Grand Rapids. I can tell you the historys of the west side and some northeast side parishes till you’d fall asleep from boerdom. I have ancestors that help build StJames( Obrien RD is named after him) St may’s in marne, St Joseph the worker, and shirttail wise St Adelberts Go to St Francis Xavier in GR and look at who donatedd the bptismal gates, Im his direct descendent… Maria is a transsexual woman, which means in mind and soul she is a female, but in anatamy she is male. Just utter the word transsexual near where I live and listen to all the mayhem it will cause. These people think their highschool education makes them know everything. I am transsexual myself and VERY slowly transitioningand I have gotten static myself for my feminine hairstyle.The only reason nothing has been done to me is that I am healthy and strong enough to stuff anyone who attacks me into a garbage can at my will. If I were you Maria Id do some research and maybe look for a chapel like a Dominican chapel to get involved in. Do your reasearch and see what you can get involved with.
 
Tedster said:
Nope. Age has nothing to do with it. Teaching what the Church teaches is all anyone here is asking her to do. If that is what you call an “intricate detail”, then we must disagree, because I see it as a MAJOR detail. And that is the big picture.
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And people wonder why people in their late teens are leaving the church in droves, including an 18 yearold brother of mine by the way. Anyone who expects an 18 yearold to be as mature in handling all this manusha as a 48 yearold is a couple beers short of a six pack. This kind of stridentness caused all 3 of my brothers to leave the church. Resurection life gobbled up one of them.
 
aspawloski4th said:
And people wonder why people in their late teens are leaving the church in droves, including an 18 yearold brother of mine by the way. Anyone who expects an 18 yearold to be as mature in handling all this manusha as a 48 yearold is a couple beers short of a six pack. This kind of stridentness caused all 3 of my brothers to leave the church. Resurection life gobbled up one of them.
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Again… it has NOTHING to do with age. I have two sons in the exact age category give or take, and they haven’t left. They have been taiught the TRUTH, not the lies of Satan that many are teaching our young ones today. Thus their love of the Church will keep them here for life. And BTW, I have a full six pack:D.
 
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