Resigning from the LDS

[debbie_h]

I have completed my RCIA program & I will be baptised into the Catholic Church very soon. I have been thinking about whether I should officially resign from the LDS church. I haven’t been able to find any Australian based information on the subject. I do not wish to have any contact with any LDS leaders & I do not want my (devout) LDS parents to be involved. Any advice?

 

[SteveVH]

I have completed my RCIA program & I will be baptised into the Catholic Church very soon. I have been thinking about whether I should officially resign from the LDS church. I haven’t been able to find any Australian based information on the subject. I do not wish to have any contact with any LDS leaders & I do not want my (devout) LDS parents to be involved. Any advice?

First of all, welcome home. While I have never been LDS and have no idea how they conduct their affairs in Australia, there are many ex-LDS on this forum and from what I have read, it is probably a very good idea to officially resign, otherwise they will be making contact with you.

My daughter-in-law is ex LDS and they tracked down her new address, in a different city, and showed up on the doorstep. She told them she had converted and a month later they showed up again. Best to get it over with.

 

[Della]

I have completed my RCIA program & I will be baptised into the Catholic Church very soon. I have been thinking about whether I should officially resign from the LDS church. I haven’t been able to find any Australian based information on the subject. I do not wish to have any contact with any LDS leaders & I do not want my (devout) LDS parents to be involved. Any advice?

Welcome home to our wonderful faith!

I agree with SteveVH’s advice. I would imagine that the LDS would inform your parents once you formally resign, so if you want to be the one to tell them, you might want to do so before they hear it from their LDS leadership.

We converts usually advise our fellow converts to tell loved ones something along these lines.

First that you are grateful to them for bringing you up in a household dedicated to faith in God.

Secondly, that you deeply appreciate all they did for you and that you still love God.

Thirdly, that you want to keep your relationship with them and hope they wish to do the same.

And finally, that you will not be imposing your new beliefs on them and hope they will respect your decision to become Catholic. (Of course, this does not preclude you sharing your faith or answering their questions.)

This usually smoothes things because it will be a shock for them and may create fears for your salvation in their hearts, so you want to allay their fears and let them know you’re still their beloved child.

God bless you. Please let us know, if you wish, how things go.

 

[Judas_Thaddeus]

I have completed my RCIA program & I will be baptised into the Catholic Church very soon. I have been thinking about whether I should officially resign from the LDS church. I haven’t been able to find any Australian based information on the subject. I do not wish to have any contact with any LDS leaders & I do not want my (devout) LDS parents to be involved. Any advice?

Hallelujah, first of all!
Anyway, when you say “officially resign,” do you mean have your name removed from “The List”,
be “self-excommincated” from the LDS? I have watched a lot of episodes of Heart of the Matter
(Where Mormonism meets Biblical Christianity) where a lot of ex-Mormons called into the show
saying how they did something like, having their names removed from the list, so it wouldn’t be
a bad idea. On the other hand, that LDS list thing really bears no spiritual merit, doesn’t count
much for anything, on the other other hand, it is wise to break off your connection to Mormonism.

I’m afraid that if you do want to have your name taken off, you do need to contact the bishop of your
area and request that, then follow up and badger him, because the LDS don’t want you to leave and
will try to get you to change your mind, so just keep in your persistence.

 

[RebeccaJ]

I have completed my RCIA program & I will be baptised into the Catholic Church very soon. I have been thinking about whether I should officially resign from the LDS church. I haven’t been able to find any Australian based information on the subject. I do not wish to have any contact with any LDS leaders & I do not want my (devout) LDS parents to be involved. Any advice?

How exciting that you’ll be baptized soon! Congratulations.

Among us former LDS, some have resigned, others not. When I left Mormonism, I just left. There was no such thing as resigning and no internet that would have informed me of its existence. By the time I was baptized Catholic, 20+ years had gone by and doing anything for the Mormon church was about 99999999 on my list of things to do. Still is. I have not resigned. Think about it once in a while, but I see it as the same as being on a marketing list of a business. It’s their list, has nothing to do with me. It would require I make contact with Mormon leaders, which sounds as appealing to me as getting a root canal.

BUT, I do understand why others resign, especially if leaving the Mormon church is a relatively recent event and resigning seems to be the norm.

LDS Church leaders will contact you if/when you resign. They do so to ensure that the request came from you and is not someone playing a prank. From what I understand your LDS membership records are flagged in some way, indicating that you have resigned. Similar to someone who has been excommunicated. Resignation and excommunication are the same thing to the Mormon church. Both require that you be re-baptized if you ever go back, so they want to make sure you don’t just show up in some ward and join back in as though nothing happened.

In theory, the LDS church claims your membership records are confidential, but I have read of stories where the ward leaders did not keep the confidentiality. I’ve also read where parents asked for their membership records, which includes a list of children, and the resigned child (you) flagged clearly as resigned. So I wouldn’t count on your LDS parents ever not knowing.

 

[NeuroTypical]

I have been thinking about whether I should officially resign from the LDS church.I do not wish to have any contact with any LDS leaders

One thing to consider - if you are on the rolls of the church, you are a member of some bishop’s flock, and he has been pretty clearly commanded in scripture that he must occasionally contact you and know how you’re doing.

I do not want my (devout) LDS parents to be involved. Any advice?

Well, if you’re an adult, you don’t need to involve your parents. Although if you all live in the same ward, they’ll find out. And although “the church” as an organization doesn’t go around telling parents about things their adult children do, an individual who knows both of you may tell your parents.

I think it’s the same in the US as in Australia - you send a letter to your leadership requesting your name be removed from the records of the church, and request confirmation when it is done. It might help to include clear language like “I will not meet with any leadership, and I understand name removal will remove all blessings and covenants of baptism.”

Then, a month later if you haven’t heard back, write again, or call, do whatever you need to. Heck, threaten a lawsuit if you like. From your perspective, some unpaid volunteer is dragging their feet and not doing their job, so go rattle their cage a little.

 

[iepuras]

Congratulations on your upcoming baptism! Whether or not you resign is entirely up to you. I echo what everyone else has said.

We resigned this spring because we wanted to be done. We did not want anyone bothering us or trying to bring us back. It provided closure for us. We had a surprise visit from the elders quorum president and stake president about 10 minutes after we got home from Mass. After that visit, we resigned because we didn’t want such visits again.

We had a relatively painless process, even with my very LDS parents in our ward. Our bishop was respectful and kept it as confidential as possible, probably out of respect for my parents. He did have to tell the RS president to remove me from the visiting teaching routes. Other bishops are not nice about it. A friend of mine is still waiting for her official letter from SLC because her bishop has refused to process the paperwork! SLC automatically processes resignations after 60 days if the bishop does nothing, so they are still waiting. sigh

Do you know you can resign via email? (msr-confrec@ldschurch.org) It goes to SLC records department and they forward it to the ward for processing. The bishop will try to contact you to confirm that you really do want to resign. To make it easier, you can cc him. The information I have seen for outside of US/Canada, if you write a real letter, it is best to send it to the regional office.

If your parents don’t already know, they will find out during tithing settlement time if they are given a copy of their membership record. Whether or not you resign is entirely up to you. Some people need it. Others not so much.

 

[NeuroTypical]

If your parents don’t already know, they will find out during tithing settlement time if they are given a copy of their membership record.

I had forgotten about that - iepuras is right - that is a way your parents would get notified (assuming they read their membership record instead of throwing it away like I do.)

 

[kmcarl56]

Welcome back to true Christianity. Yes, absolutely officially resign from the LDS church. It will clear your mind to accept Christ fully into your heart, soul, and mind.

Congratulations!

 

[Quaesitor]

If you do resign, be prepared for the possibility of your Bishop trying to excommunicate you by making you attend a Bishops trial. They have been know to try, Also realize that resigning takes your name off active rolls, but they will never purge their systems of all your information.

 

[kimg901]

Honestly? Who cares if your name is on their “books”. You now belong to Christ Church (Thanks be to God!!!). And for your parents, that’s a hard one. But you were blessed to your parents here on earth. Our real Father is the one we should care about and what he wants for us! Welcome Home

 

[KathleenGee]

God bless, you Debi…

May you come into the fullness of Jesus Christ!

 

[PaulDupre1]

If you don’t want the home teachers and visiting teachers coming around every month treating you like damaged goods, then you’ll need to formally resign. It’s easy these days. Remember that under current law, as soon as you declare that you want to be taken off the records, they are not allowed to try to exert any influence over you (like ordering you to appear before a church court). So don’t respond to any such attempts.

 

[Marie5890]

If you don’t want the home teachers and visiting teachers coming around every month treating you like damaged goods, then you’ll need to formally resign. It’s easy these days. Remember that under current law, as soon as you declare that you want to be taken off the records, they are not allowed to try to exert any influence over you (like ordering you to appear before a church court). So don’t respond to any such attempts.

Paul, I am not sure of what Australian law is like. Under USA law, you are correct.

Debbie if you want more information on how to formally resign (and no, you dont “have” to, it’s an option some of us just preferred) I can get you a link

mormonresignation.com

…It basically will tell you what you should write in a letter.

Resigning can be a good thing, and it can be a hassle, it really depends on how the local LDS leaders decide to handle it. I was never contacted when I sent in my resignation letter. I just got a letter stating I was no longer LDS.

There was no hassle, not one tiny bit, to resign. Others have had different experiences

 

[MaryandJoseph]

A wonderful couple joined our parish awhile back and we struck up a wonderful friendship. In the course of our conversations, he told me this was his second marriage as the first one was when he was LDS.

When he left the LDS church and converted to the Catholic faith, his ex-wife and three children refused any contact with him. That was over 25 years ago and still no contact with his now grown children and the pain is evident in my friend.

Your parents/family may be more understanding then my friends, but be prepared just the same.

You are in my prayers, and Welcome Home:thumbsup:

 

[CarolNoel]

A wonderful couple joined our parish awhile back and we struck up a wonderful friendship. In the course of our conversations, he told me this was his second marriage as the first one was when he was LDS.

When he left the LDS church and converted to the Catholic faith, his ex-wife and three children refused any contact with him. That was over 25 years ago and still no contact with his now grown children and the pain is evident in my friend.

Your parents/family may be more understanding then my friends, but be prepared just the same.

You are in my prayers, and Welcome Home:thumbsup:

That is just so sad. I can’t even imagine the pain your friend has.

 

[MaryandJoseph]

My friend prays a Rosary everyday for his children and offers up and joins his pain to Jesus on the cross.

He is the most faithfilled man I have ever met,truly an example of Christian love and forgiveness and he holds to his faith that God will make All Things Right, so he trusts Gods will in this.

But yes, his pain is intense.

 

[iepuras]

My friend prays a Rosary everyday for his children and offers up and joins his pain to Jesus on the cross.

He is the most faithfilled man I have ever met,truly an example of Christian love and forgiveness and he holds to his faith that God will make All Things Right, so he trusts Gods will in this.

But yes, his pain is intense.

Wow. What an amazing man! I feel so sad for him. I will remember him and his children in my prayers.

The sad thing is that his story is not unique. This can happen when one spouse learns the truth and the other refuses to hear. The indoctrination runs deep. I hope and pray his children will learn the truth that they were stolen from their father by Mormonism.

 

[debbie_h]

First of all, welcome home. While I have never been LDS and have no idea how they conduct their affairs in Australia, there are many ex-LDS on this forum and from what I have read, it is probably a very good idea to officially resign, otherwise they will be making contact with you.

My daughter-in-law is ex LDS and they tracked down her new address, in a different city, and showed up on the doorstep. She told them she had converted and a month later they showed up again. Best to get it over with.

I’ve had missionaries knock on my door in the 2 different stake zones that I have lived in since I’ve moved out of home & gotten married. I think my parents may have forwarded my records to the local wards in which I should have been attending if I was active.
(Strange thing now is that recently 2 stakes have consolidated into one)

 

[debbie_h]

Welcome home to our wonderful faith!

I agree with SteveVH’s advice. I would imagine that the LDS would inform your parents once you formally resign, so if you want to be the one to tell them, you might want to do so before they hear it from their LDS leadership.

We converts usually advise our fellow converts to tell loved ones something along these lines.

First that you are grateful to them for bringing you up in a household dedicated to faith in God.

Secondly, that you deeply appreciate all they did for you and that you still love God.

Thirdly, that you want to keep your relationship with them and hope they wish to do the same.

And finally, that you will not be imposing your new beliefs on them and hope they will respect your decision to become Catholic. (Of course, this does not preclude you sharing your faith or answering their questions.)

This usually smoothes things because it will be a shock for them and may create fears for your salvation in their hearts, so you want to allay their fears and let them know you’re still their beloved child.

God bless you. Please let us know, if you wish, how things go.

Thank you.
They have this hope that I will return to the LDS faith & have my husband & children baptised Mormon. They are not thrilled that I have married a Catholic & Many times they have “invited” the missionaries over to their home during our family dinners to ‘talk to my husband’ & yes my parents have made many statements about my marriage being for time only.