Resistence from family

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CWBetts

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I do not know if this is in the right froum or not. I am addressing mostly converts here. I enterd the Church at the Easter Vigil in 2008. I got sdome resistence from my parents while I was going trhough RCIA, but that quickly subsided. However, mostly from my brother in law and my sister in law, I have been getting alot of lecturing on how Catholics aren’t Christian ansd so on and so forth. In the past I have had nop problems discussing this with people outside the family simply becasue I never have to see them at family get-togethers and whatnot. WIth my brother’s wife, I took the gloves off. I am not sorry that I have taken the stand in and of itself, but that this may cause unwanted friction in the future. ANyone else have this kind of problem?
 
You aren’t alone.
A good common ground is the creed. Ask them if they believe all that the creed states (either Apostle’s or Nicene: and “catholic” means “universal.”) And there you go- you both are Christians- yay! I know that there is a lot more too it than what is stated in the creed but it has the essential elements that unites the body of Christ.
Sooner or later, they will get it. Once they see you truly living out the faith and your love for Christ, there will be no denying it. God bless-
 
CWBetts said:
I do not know if this is in the right froum or not. I am addressing mostly converts here. I enterd the Church at the Easter Vigil in 2008. I got sdome resistence from my parents while I was going trhough RCIA, but that quickly subsided. However, mostly from my brother in law and my sister in law, I have been getting alot of lecturing on how Catholics aren’t Christian ansd so on and so forth. In the past I have had nop problems discussing this with people outside the family simply becasue I never have to see them at family get-togethers and whatnot. WIth my brother’s wife, I took the gloves off. I am not sorry that I have taken the stand in and of itself, but that this may cause unwanted friction in the future. ANyone else have this kind of problem?
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Dear sister in Jesus.
Yes, I had the same experience.
It caused me and my dear older sister a lot of tears and heart ache in the beginning after my conversion. I was overflowing with joy at having found Christ and I found everything else small in comparison. She took my words as a provocation and as a critiq of her own life, faith, and church, which however it was never meant as.
Luckily this lasted only for a short while… though it felt long when standing in the middle of it. I now dont speak much to her about many things pertaining to the Catholic Church but we can share simple testimonies that are “denominational neutral”. It’s a bit sad but I am really happy we are now good and closer than we have ever been.

Love hides many sins. Where there is good will there will also be a way…
 
Stella_Matutina said:
You aren’t alone.
A good common ground is the creed. Ask them if they believe all that the creed states (either Apostle’s or Nicene: and “catholic” means “universal.”) And there you go- you both are Christians- yay! I know that there is a lot more too it than what is stated in the creed but it has the essential elements that unites the body of Christ.
Sooner or later, they will get it. Once they see you truly living out the faith and your love for Christ, there will be no denying it. God bless-
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True indeed.
Quite a few times I have had Pentecostals, Messianics or Baptists tell me that I surprised them: being Catholic and so on fire with love and praise for Jesus.
I know this that these evangelicals people will probably meet other Catholics from now on with more openess and acceptance of us as actual Christians, because of the Catholics they met in me and my friends.
I say this not to boast. It was Christ and Christ alone that did this miracle. All I have is sin, and I also sometimes anti-testified through my immense stupidity.
Furthermore I have experienced that its only when we truly admire and are humble towards that of the others that they will open up in turn.
I speak with limited experience… mine was mostly with Danish Pentecostals - just came home from there just now actually, Halleluja - and many of these are really open, admirable and lovely 🙂
 
GraceDK said:
Dear sister in Jesus.
Yes, I had the same experience.
It caused me and my dear older sister a lot of tears and heart ache in the beginning after my conversion. I was overflowing with joy at having found Christ and I found everything else small in comparison. She took my words as a provocation and as a critiq of her own life, faith, and church, which however it was never meant as.
Luckily this lasted only for a short while… though it felt long when standing in the middle of it. I now dont speak much to her about many things pertaining to the Catholic Church but we can share simple testimonies that are “denominational neutral”. It’s a bit sad but I am really happy we are now good and closer than we have ever been.

Love hides many sins. Where there is good will there will also be a way…
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Actually, I would be a Brother in Jesus 😃
 
We’re converts, too. I agree with those who say to let your good life and your love for Jesus demonstrate your relationship with Jesus and your status as “Christian.”

No need to talk a lot, although I would certainly object to any untruths stated about Catholicism by providing the true facts. And I personally would not stand by and allow various Catholic saints and notables (e.g., the Pope) to be insulted. But then, I generally don’t allow Protestant notables (e.g., Billy Graham, Dr. James Dobson, etc.) to be insulted by Catholics, either.
 
Cat said:
We’re converts, too. I agree with those who say to let your good life and your love for Jesus demonstrate your relationship with Jesus and your status as “Christian.”

No need to talk a lot, although I would certainly object to any untruths stated about Catholicism by providing the true facts. And I personally would not stand by and allow various Catholic saints and notables (e.g., the Pope) to be insulted. But then, I generally don’t allow Protestant notables (e.g., Billy Graham, Dr. James Dobson, etc.) to be insulted by Catholics, either.
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The sister-in-law in question has now resorted to personal insults when I defended Catholic teaching with Scrpture. A little background: This sister-in-law has barred our niece from her home, and it would nor surprise me in the slightest if she is trying to estrange my brother from the family. I hope I am just being paranoid and this is not hte case. The fact that I am Catholic is merely a convenient excuse to try to ostracize me. I will keep you all posted on her nuttiness
 
Sounds to me like it is time to put religion on the list of subjects that are not discussed at family get togethers.

Talk with your brother, and make sure he knows how much you love him and want to have a relationship. Explain that religious discussions are causing too many hurt feelings and setting a bad example for the children.

Set your boundaries and stick to them. If SIL brings up an out of bounds subject, remind her. If she continues, walk away and strike up a conversation with others. If she continues to hound you, then very publically tell her that the subject is off limits and she is ruining the family get together with her behavior.

I guess if the family does not agree to keep religion out of the get togethers, then you will have a difficult choice about whether to attend or not.
 
Oh boy, do I feel for you.

I had quite a few issues while in the process of RCIA with my father. Thankfully over time I think he’s finally come to terms with my Catholicism, at least that’s how I think since we don’t talk about it…

For me, my family is Lutheran and grew up pretty much very disliking (borderline hating pretty much) Catholicism. So he really does not understand the Catholic faith. In highschool (I went to a Lutheran HS) we had a class called Cults and Romans where we learned about Catholicism amongst other religions. I now know that everything they taught us was wrong. So I know much of what my father thinks of Catholicism is wrong.

My father doesn’t really say much about it any more, but it was really tough when he first found out that I was becoming Catholic (3 years ago now). He cried about it actually and said all these things. Like Oh now I’ll have to walk you down the aisle at a Catholic Church… and What about your kid’s first communion? All with this devastated look on his face. It was pretty bad.

So I’m there with you, not everyone has an easy road or an easy time being Catholic, just know you’re not alone!

What it really comes down to is the lack of knowledge about the faith and very many misconceptions. In fact most everything people believe about the faith is just plain wrong.

“There are not a hundred people in America who hate the Catholic Church. There are millions of people who hate what they wrongly believe to be the Catholic Church, which is of course, quite a different thing.” - Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen
 
1ke said:
Sounds to me like it is time to put religion on the list of subjects that are not discussed at family get togethers.
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I agree! 👍 Once my brother got married, he stopped going to a Catholic church and started going with his wife to a evangelical Christian church. He really enjoys getting into heated arguments and I just won’t go there! I think it is great to try and have a meaningful dialogue, but some people refuse to do that and there is nothing that you can do. Good luck!
 
The thing is that this came up in e-mails, not at a family gathering. SHe has taken it upon herself to save me from the clutches of Romanism and Popery. :rolleyes: She got angriest when she asked why I was Catholic and I gave her some theological reasons. She also got miffed when I said if you don’t accept the Nicene Creed, then you really can’t even call yourself Christian. I had thought she went to a mainline Protestant church, but is is now clear that she is a crazy FUndametalist…she even sent me a link to Jack Chick’s site. I fully expect to be on her “banned from her home” list.
 
My sister left the Catholic church soon after marrying (her friend got her involved with a church of Christ). I am in the process of preparing a document of some basic facts of the Catholic church so that I can explain it to her (she left the church through ignorance).

Maybe you could write down what exactly your sister-in-law doesn’t agree with the Catholic church and you could research answers for her. That’s what I am going to do for my sister. Might be all it takes.
 
CWBetts said:
The thing is that this came up in e-mails, not at a family gathering. SHe has taken it upon herself to save me from the clutches of Romanism and Popery. :rolleyes: She got angriest when she asked why I was Catholic and I gave her some theological reasons. She also got miffed when I said if you don’t accept the Nicene Creed, then you really can’t even call yourself Christian. I had thought she went to a mainline Protestant church, but is is now clear that she is a crazy FUndametalist…she even sent me a link to Jack Chick’s site. I fully expect to be on her “banned from her home” list.
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Sounds like she needs love (Love). Treat her very respectfully and kindly. Fundamentalist’s can be found in the Catholic Church, too. Maybe your love and respect for her (along with your prayers) will be what allows her to open herself to Him. Show her by your words and actions that you are following the Golden Rule and let Him draw her. We converts have a tougher “row to hoe” but then I think many converts understand their Christianity and Catholicism better than some because we’ve had to work for it. In other words, we’ve been given a larger gift than some so we have a larger responsibility to really live The Faith every day (not just when we’re at church or acting as apologists). Work with what you have in common (on fire for Christianity) and let her know how special she is to you.
 
taylor2 said:
My sister left the Catholic church soon after marrying (her friend got her involved with a church of Christ). I am in the process of preparing a document of some basic facts of the Catholic church so that I can explain it to her (she left the church through ignorance).

Maybe you could write down what exactly your sister-in-law doesn’t agree with the Catholic church and you could research answers for her. That’s what I am going to do for my sister. Might be all it takes.
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I belive this tactic to be impossible with her. What it would take first is to convince her that she follows many Catholic Traditions without realizing (Christmas and Easter, for example). Right now she is of the school of the thought that “Anything Catholics Do Is Wrong, Because Catholics Do It”
 
CWBetts said:
I belive this tactic to be impossible with her. What it would take first is to convince her that she follows many Catholic Traditions without realizing (Christmas and Easter, for example). Right now she is of the school of the thought that “Anything Catholics Do Is Wrong, Because Catholics Do It”
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All the more reason to show her love and understanding. Pray and don’t act as the apologist (unless she asks specifically). She’s on the defensive about all sorts of things and won’t listen to intellectual reasons (at least for the time-being). Generally, the best informed and holiest people I’ve heard (clerics, religious, lay) all say the same thing. Don’t use intellect on family members - but use example, respect and prayer.
 
One of my friends’ is Christian, and this weekend they had a great “celebration” for the community come one come all kind of thing! It was awesome! THey had free food, fireworks, activities for the kids and family, I loved it! One of our friends’ whom is Catholic asked why our church never did such fun things for the community…I said that they do once in a while…maybe not so extravagant but they do have some nice family times…Well he was like, jockingly of course, “well you know if our church did this more often maybe I would go to the church more often! Heck I am thinking of converting religions! If Christians have this much fun I think I rather be a Christian than a Catholic!” And finished off with a huge laugh…Then our friend the one whom invited us to the family time church block party, said-“We have these all the time! We just love giving to the community it’s great!” I responded wiht a thank you and that when our church does something like this I was going to be sure to let her know so we can continue having fun in the name of our Lord! 🙂

It was really interesting to see so many people be united like that without even caring of what religion they are…

But let me tell you something, I know many Christians whom get really touchy when speaking with/about Catholics.

One of my friends is Baptist, and she made a kind of smart remark when she saw my Catholic Forum webpage open, and I looked at her and asked what the matter was, she said “I forgot you were Catholic!” I was like ok…And didn’t pay attention to it, but I told her I was discussing some things in the forum and she was like “Oh I bet there’s a lot to say there!” I thought it was kind of funny that there can be such feelings against Catholics, when I don’t see anything wrong with any religion nor judge them at all…On the contrary as long as we are all praising GOD, I don’t see any problem with religions…I think it’s great adds variety to the pool of GOD lovers! 😃 And I am sure GOD appreciates all his children whom feast with HIM…

When my brother got married to his Christian wife, my family was not supportive at all, of course she loves the Catholic church and is converting but still, I thought it was a great opportunity to bring in a daughter of Christ to our Catholic faith…
 
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