H
Helen2009
Guest
I am so glad to see this topic in the forums! There is constant annoyance and disruption at my parish. I have felt judgemental for being upset about this, but feel a little differently now after seeing everything that has been posted here and hearing the homily at Mass last evening. Father said we are not to judge others, but actions. So it seems we should certainly do something about wrong actions, but just not condemn the person doing them. I think I will talk to Father about this now or write him a letter. A letter might let me articulate myself better.
It seems there is always at least one cell phone going off every Saturday evening in the church, sometimes before mass begins, but still in the church. On one occasion it was the same phone going off three different times and Father did look annoyed although he didn’t say anything. At my previous parish, a woman in front of me actually answered her phone during communion and loudly held a short conversation! The really bad part is that she had been “correcting” her disruptive child the whole time for making noise. She was much louder herself saying “Shh!” a hundred times and answering a ringing cell phone. I also saw a man at another parish I was visiting answer his phone and step out the back door he was near… I don’t think I will keep silent if these things happen again.
My other major complaint is when people show up late to Mass and disrupt. They make noise and squeeze in the pews. Last night a woman sat her children but then stood in the aisle on the side up until the homily! A few people tried to tell her where there were seats and she just said, “Oh, no that’s ok.” She was making the woman next to me nervous and I found it to be very distracting. It is almost every week that it feels like a battle to my husband and I to just be able to go to Mass and worship without interruption. We almost always get shoved over and squeezed up against someone else, and then bothering them as well. I can’t participate in the mass at the beginning because I have to shift over so much. I think that sometimes the people are just visitors, but some are parishioners that commit the same offenses every week. In either case, common courtesy should be used.
I always think about attending Mass as a child in grade school. My parents, the sister that was my teacher, our priests, etc. would have NEVER tolerated this sort of behavior from us! I always do what I know I am supposed to do and try to lead by example, but I don’t think it gets across to anyone. I don’t really care if there are no rules about it, if you are late to Mass, you should not come in. I knew a priest that said he studied under a priest that would lock the door so if you were late you were not coming in. I also think it is very rude to leave before Mass has ended. I always wait until Father has completely left the aisle and the closing hymn is over. (BTW the woman in the aisle today, after all of that, left during communion. ???)
I am sorry for such a long post. This has just been bothering me so much. I could certainly say even more on the subject. Before I go I will say, I liked reading the reference to pajama mass above somewhere. My husband worded it best after a Mass on All Soul’s Day at a church we were just visiting before we chose our parish. There was a band, which was good, but inappropriate we felt for All Soul’s Day… And children gyrating around dancing, etc. as well as the adults… I really don’t like the “charismatic” thing. My husband said that rather than teach children to sit still and behave and learn that they are being taught it is okay to act out in church. (Ugh his actual words were much better than mine!) It’s a tragedy. I know that when we have children, they will be expected to act appropriately in church, as elsewhere.
It seems there is always at least one cell phone going off every Saturday evening in the church, sometimes before mass begins, but still in the church. On one occasion it was the same phone going off three different times and Father did look annoyed although he didn’t say anything. At my previous parish, a woman in front of me actually answered her phone during communion and loudly held a short conversation! The really bad part is that she had been “correcting” her disruptive child the whole time for making noise. She was much louder herself saying “Shh!” a hundred times and answering a ringing cell phone. I also saw a man at another parish I was visiting answer his phone and step out the back door he was near… I don’t think I will keep silent if these things happen again.
My other major complaint is when people show up late to Mass and disrupt. They make noise and squeeze in the pews. Last night a woman sat her children but then stood in the aisle on the side up until the homily! A few people tried to tell her where there were seats and she just said, “Oh, no that’s ok.” She was making the woman next to me nervous and I found it to be very distracting. It is almost every week that it feels like a battle to my husband and I to just be able to go to Mass and worship without interruption. We almost always get shoved over and squeezed up against someone else, and then bothering them as well. I can’t participate in the mass at the beginning because I have to shift over so much. I think that sometimes the people are just visitors, but some are parishioners that commit the same offenses every week. In either case, common courtesy should be used.
I always think about attending Mass as a child in grade school. My parents, the sister that was my teacher, our priests, etc. would have NEVER tolerated this sort of behavior from us! I always do what I know I am supposed to do and try to lead by example, but I don’t think it gets across to anyone. I don’t really care if there are no rules about it, if you are late to Mass, you should not come in. I knew a priest that said he studied under a priest that would lock the door so if you were late you were not coming in. I also think it is very rude to leave before Mass has ended. I always wait until Father has completely left the aisle and the closing hymn is over. (BTW the woman in the aisle today, after all of that, left during communion. ???)
I am sorry for such a long post. This has just been bothering me so much. I could certainly say even more on the subject. Before I go I will say, I liked reading the reference to pajama mass above somewhere. My husband worded it best after a Mass on All Soul’s Day at a church we were just visiting before we chose our parish. There was a band, which was good, but inappropriate we felt for All Soul’s Day… And children gyrating around dancing, etc. as well as the adults… I really don’t like the “charismatic” thing. My husband said that rather than teach children to sit still and behave and learn that they are being taught it is okay to act out in church. (Ugh his actual words were much better than mine!) It’s a tragedy. I know that when we have children, they will be expected to act appropriately in church, as elsewhere.