Respect for parents?

[flowerfleurflo]

When it comes to respecting parents, what exactly does that entail?
Does it mean I just have to follow general command and be grateful for what they have given me? Or does it go deeper than that and mean legit respect?
I’m 15 years old. And it’s not that I think my parents are bad, I just don’t really respect them. They haven’t led bad life examples, but I can’t find much of anything to look up to. My mother clearly never wanted anything more but to become a permanent hippie in the 1970’s with chickens living off the land and only eating organic. Instead she ended up living in a suburb with a career and three children, so in general the way I’ve always seen my mom is one of two puzzle pieces that you kind of have to glue together because they don’t fit on their own. In addition she’s extremely liberal, she’s openly against Christianity and especially against Catholicism, and although she is tolerant of the fact that I am Catholic…she and my sister do still openly mock the Church, make fun of religion, making comments like “You don’t have to go to church, i think Jesus knows you love him” and “Wow you seem frustrated, that’s not very Catholic behavior, I thought Christians were supposed to just dance around singing to Jesus all the time” or whatever, and I just don’t understand how I’m supposed to respect a person like that.
I guess I respect my dad a bit more, but he’s out of the house most of the time so I don’t feel like that just matters quite so much. He is a lot more reliable than my mom and just kind of more normal when it comes to practical society as opposed to some weird hippie commune composed of illegal drugs and dirt. At the same time, I wouldn’t say that I look up to him in any way. he’s just kind of there.

Anyways, I don’t know when I stopped respecting my mother, but it was a pretty long time ago. Since I was 11, I’ve dreamed of going abroad and just kind of leaving this all behind. I don’t want to deal with an anti-religion mother who probably should have never moved to the city in the first place and I don’t want to deal with the legacy that she’s passed on to me.

When it comes to the 4th commandment…well, just like I said, am I obliged to respect her as a person or just as a mother? As a mother, I can say yes, she took me to school and fed and clothed me, and even though I know she really wanted me to turn out differently, it’s not like she forbids who I am. As a person, though, she’s just kind of weird and irresponsible (but at the same time manages to be laughably overprotective), I disagree with most or all of her political and social views, and if I had no blood relation I don’t feel like she’s the kind of person I would really want to be around a whole lot, if at all.

And yes I did make a brand-new account to post this, mostly because if I post this on my regular account my mother will see it as she checks my e-mail.

 

[DaisymaeD]

Respect is not the same thing as liking. Loving is not the same thing as liking. Yes, you do have to obey while you are a minor and they are supporting you. You are free to leave when you can support yourself.

It sounds like you are on the right course, at least in general terms. You’re trying to follow The Lord, and you’re doing it under adverse circumstances.

But what does the Bible say? To pray for those who despite fully use you. Start praying! Pray for your mom and your sister who make fun of you every day. Ask God to rain down his blessings on them. Get rid of your bitterness, do not judge–you may not know everything your mom had to go through in life. Hug her and love her.

And it’s okay to call her out when she mocks. Without anger, just say, I feel sad (or belittled, or whatever) when you mock my religion. She might stop. On the other hand, she might make fun more. Then, just drop it.

Best of luck, I’m praying for you.

 

[phil_at_dayboro]

Parents give you advise to the best of their ability, they themselves are guided by
Their own moral standard, by their own life experience ,and their own ability to interpret
A situation,parent are only human, they make mistakes,they misinterpret ,misjudge,
Much can depend on their emotional well being at any given time,
You as a teenager should treat your parents with mutual respect,
Mutual love, mutual patients , it’s a 3 way street, 2 of them and one of you,
And they as a couple they are not always on the same page,
The secret of it all is communication , tell them about your day and ask about theirs …
Show an interest in them, because one day you will be without them…

 

[Petaro]

Respect is not the same thing as liking. Loving is not the same thing as liking. Yes, you do have to obey while you are a minor and they are supporting you. You are free to leave when you can support yourself.

It sounds like you are on the right course, at least in general terms. You’re trying to follow The Lord, and you’re doing it under adverse circumstances.

But what does the Bible say? To pray for those who despite fully use you. Start praying! Pray for your mom and your sister who make fun of you every day. Ask God to rain down his blessings on them. Get rid of your bitterness, do not judge–you may not know everything your mom had to go through in life. Hug her and love her.

And it’s okay to call her out when she mocks. Without anger, just say, I feel sad (or belittled, or whatever) when you mock my religion. She might stop. On the other hand, she might make fun more. Then, just drop it.

Best of luck, I’m praying for you.

A wise post. You are young, and do not know the genesis of your mum’s attitude. Don’t judge too harshly, at 15 I knew more than I do now.
Pray for her anti-catholic attitude and be thankful that you have such a cross to take on, as such a challenge to your faith is a gift at your age. Pass this one and you will be in good standing to take on the world outside.
Love in return for derision; love instead of contempt even if deserved. Your mum sounds like a child of her generation, don’t be too harsh. Patience with one’s parents is almost a rite of passage for any teenager.
Be thankful for her care and even the normal over-protectiveness of most mothers, no matter how tiring.
Try to spend as much time with your dad so you can come to know him more and build the relationship. You are on the right path protecting your religion. Use that love of Jesus to make the demands of a son on Him to help as you grow in what may be a dysfunctional situation.

 

[1ke]

Respect is a virtue, rooted in the theological virtue of charity (love), a fruit of the Spirit. Respect is due to her as a child of God, her dignity.

I can point you to some really good info on the virtues, from my diocese (linked below). Read the virtues of Respect and Dignity and see if you can see your mother as God sees her.

Respect does not mean you have to agree with her, or even be close to her when you grow up and move out of the house.

dioceseoflacrosse.com/ministry_resources/catechesis/

 

[Xantippe]

flowerfleurflo said:

“When it comes to respecting parents, what exactly does that entail?
Does it mean I just have to follow general command and be grateful for what they have given me? Or does it go deeper than that and mean legit respect?”

I think there’s respect for the office that’s different than respect for the person exercising that office.

I believe that there’s an expression that goes, “You salute the uniform, not the man.”

For the moment, that will have to do. You may well give your mom more credit for her efforts when you’re older, but in the meantime, being civil and cooperative around the house ought to be enough.

“I guess I respect my dad a bit more, but he’s out of the house most of the time so I don’t feel like that just matters quite so much.”

It’s normal for teenaged girls to have loss conflict with their fathers.

The female hormones of teenage daughter and menopausal mom can be a pretty toxic brew.

Best wishes!