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Guest
“Responding to God’s Call” Retreat DAY FIVE: COMMUNITY LIFE
Scripture Reading
“And they were persevering in the doctrine of the apostles, and in the communication of the breaking of the bread, and in prayers. …] And all they that believed were together, and they had all things in common. Their possessions and goods they sold, and divided them to all, according as every one had need.” (Acts 2: 42, 44-45)
Meditation
Community life is not for the fainthearted. Many people who decide to enter religious life are very unrealistic about the difficulties of rubbing up against different personalities through constantly living with them. In former days when people came from large families they were used to living with many others and could easily adapt to living with people who were not their own.
Novices often think that they will spend all of their time in prayer and sanctified leisure and are surprised that a central issue in religious life is learning to live with others and make life more livable for others. Community life is both the crown and the cross of religious life. Fellowship of friends can be extremely helpful in encouraging someone to live for heaven by practicing the life of the virtue. We need companions, not because we could not be happy without them, since our happiness should be in God, or because virtue is not enough for us to bring us peace within, but because we prove the truth of our prayer in any Christian life by the way we treat others. “The least of these my brothers” are first and foremost those we live with on an everyday level.
With the present breakdown of family life caused by wholesale divorce, contraception, and abortion, many people just lack the give and take required to live closely with others. This can certainly affect married life and also have a great impact on someone’s desire to lead a religious vocation.
Religious are often amused when people say that someone who is antisocial and perhaps even mean must belong in a cloister. In fact, these are the very people who do not belong in a cloister. Many people envy the life of nuns lived in the monastery by thinking that seldom is heard a discouraging word. These images are exacerbated by the way religious life is portrayed in films. Religious are presented as happy nondescript people who lack adult responsibility and are never really tested by anything except perhaps a temptation to marriage.
Though there is much joy in religious life, one should not underestimate the suffering involved in the surrendering of the ego, which is required for virtuous living with others. Be realistic about your weaknesses in this regard and remember theology is very clear that unless you are somewhat perfect in the active life of charity to others as your age allows, you cannot become perfect in the contemplative life. A person therefore who is anti-social or who lacks the all important requirement of a sense of humor at their own foibles or the foibles of others will never be happy in the religious life nor will they be an occasion of joy for others.
Most communities today have psychological tests as a part of the discernment process for entering religious life. A candidate should not be put off by this, but embrace it because many communities have suffered greatly from allowing well meaning but anti-social candidates to enter.
The ability to socially relate to others in a friendly and generous manner is not only a natural virtue, but it is also a wonderful testing ground for the growth in love of God. The formation of chaste friendships in which one learns how to give oneself to another is also an important part of any life. Indeed, the ability to give oneself to another is what it means to be a person.
How can someone learn to read what loving responses involve with someone they cannot see and who is infinite if they have not learned to control their reactions and affections with people they can see? Sadly, religious who cannot relate to their fellow religious will look outside the community for affection, often with disastrous consequences. They can also become tyrannical with others to satisfy their human needs in relationships characterized by excessive mutual dependence. All of this can be prevented by a realistic human formation in human generosity and ordinary affection.
Points of Reference
Do I like being with other people and not look on religious life as a flight from the formation of ordinary human relationships?
Do I have a realistic idea of chaste friendships and balance in giving and receiving affection?
Do I appreciate the fact that love of God is proven true by the way I treat people who are closest to me which will be members of my community?
Prayer
Dear Lord, the community of the Apostles was joined together to love God above all things and show love for their neighbor principally in common life with each other. Grant that I may seek to grow in love for You by growing in a deeper generosity and a deeper mercy lived in community life. Through Christ our Lord. Amen.
religouslife.com
Scripture Reading
“And they were persevering in the doctrine of the apostles, and in the communication of the breaking of the bread, and in prayers. …] And all they that believed were together, and they had all things in common. Their possessions and goods they sold, and divided them to all, according as every one had need.” (Acts 2: 42, 44-45)
Meditation
Community life is not for the fainthearted. Many people who decide to enter religious life are very unrealistic about the difficulties of rubbing up against different personalities through constantly living with them. In former days when people came from large families they were used to living with many others and could easily adapt to living with people who were not their own.
Novices often think that they will spend all of their time in prayer and sanctified leisure and are surprised that a central issue in religious life is learning to live with others and make life more livable for others. Community life is both the crown and the cross of religious life. Fellowship of friends can be extremely helpful in encouraging someone to live for heaven by practicing the life of the virtue. We need companions, not because we could not be happy without them, since our happiness should be in God, or because virtue is not enough for us to bring us peace within, but because we prove the truth of our prayer in any Christian life by the way we treat others. “The least of these my brothers” are first and foremost those we live with on an everyday level.
With the present breakdown of family life caused by wholesale divorce, contraception, and abortion, many people just lack the give and take required to live closely with others. This can certainly affect married life and also have a great impact on someone’s desire to lead a religious vocation.
Religious are often amused when people say that someone who is antisocial and perhaps even mean must belong in a cloister. In fact, these are the very people who do not belong in a cloister. Many people envy the life of nuns lived in the monastery by thinking that seldom is heard a discouraging word. These images are exacerbated by the way religious life is portrayed in films. Religious are presented as happy nondescript people who lack adult responsibility and are never really tested by anything except perhaps a temptation to marriage.
Though there is much joy in religious life, one should not underestimate the suffering involved in the surrendering of the ego, which is required for virtuous living with others. Be realistic about your weaknesses in this regard and remember theology is very clear that unless you are somewhat perfect in the active life of charity to others as your age allows, you cannot become perfect in the contemplative life. A person therefore who is anti-social or who lacks the all important requirement of a sense of humor at their own foibles or the foibles of others will never be happy in the religious life nor will they be an occasion of joy for others.
Most communities today have psychological tests as a part of the discernment process for entering religious life. A candidate should not be put off by this, but embrace it because many communities have suffered greatly from allowing well meaning but anti-social candidates to enter.
The ability to socially relate to others in a friendly and generous manner is not only a natural virtue, but it is also a wonderful testing ground for the growth in love of God. The formation of chaste friendships in which one learns how to give oneself to another is also an important part of any life. Indeed, the ability to give oneself to another is what it means to be a person.
How can someone learn to read what loving responses involve with someone they cannot see and who is infinite if they have not learned to control their reactions and affections with people they can see? Sadly, religious who cannot relate to their fellow religious will look outside the community for affection, often with disastrous consequences. They can also become tyrannical with others to satisfy their human needs in relationships characterized by excessive mutual dependence. All of this can be prevented by a realistic human formation in human generosity and ordinary affection.
Points of Reference
Do I like being with other people and not look on religious life as a flight from the formation of ordinary human relationships?
Do I have a realistic idea of chaste friendships and balance in giving and receiving affection?
Do I appreciate the fact that love of God is proven true by the way I treat people who are closest to me which will be members of my community?
Prayer
Dear Lord, the community of the Apostles was joined together to love God above all things and show love for their neighbor principally in common life with each other. Grant that I may seek to grow in love for You by growing in a deeper generosity and a deeper mercy lived in community life. Through Christ our Lord. Amen.
religouslife.com