Responsibilities of Godparents RE Monetary Donation to Church/Priest

[lili1971]

My husband and I were asked to be the Godparents to my nephew. Aside from the religious responsibilities, I’d like some clarification on other responsibilities/traditions.

For example, as Godparents, we will be purchasing the baptismal gown and accessories.

However, my mother just threw in that it was also the responsibility of the godfather to give a monetary donation to the priest and that the going rate was $200!!??

I’ve done some research and found that the parents while providing the appropriate paperwork are given an envelope in which to provide a donation to the church.

Is there traditionally supposed to be a donation to both the church AND the priest? Who is tradionally supposed to pay for this?

Thanks.

 

[1ke]

Oh for heaven’s sake. This is ridiculous. The nerve of people asking someone to be a godparent and then insisting they spend gobs of money on the baptismal gown, accessories, “donations” to priests and church, gifts. It’s absurd!

You are under **no **obligation to purchase the baptismal gown, give money to the church or priest or do anything beyond standing as the witness at the baptism.

There is absolutely **NO **such Church teaching, canon law, or tradition with anything you posted.

So as to any “tradition” you are being told about requiring you to spend money, that would be purely something to settle with your family. Whoever is telling you this is NOT using anything from the Church as a source for such a “tradition”.

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

Where do live, and is the parish named Our Lady of the Beemer (BMW)? Perhaps Holy Escalade?

First off, there is NEVER a charge for the sacrament itself. There *might *be a charge for the baptismal course and its materials. Those are usually the repsonsibility of the parents. If the parents cannot afford it, the parish usually absorbs the cost.

Not every parish has an envelope for a donation. It depends on the parish, the diocese’s rules, the custom of the local area, and whether or not this is a private baptism (after hours- there is no real “private” sacrament except confession) or one scheduled at the time baptisms are usually performed at the parish. This sounds as if it is the parents’ responsibility.

In some cultures, the baptismal gown and a stipend for the priest are given by the godparents. In other areas of the country and cultures, this is given by the parents. To determine what’s what, call your sibling’s parish directly and ask. Get clarification on whether this parish gets a donation for the parish, a stipend for the priest, or both. If you can’t afford that, ask what’s what. This seems highly contrived to me, though.

There is no canon law that a baby has to have a huge, expensive baptismal gown. If a baby is being baptized via immersion, the baby can be brought to the parish church in a diaper and onsie. The “white garment” can be as simple as a bib, a miniature stole, or a poncho type affair. I know many a godmother who has lovingly sewn this for her godchild. I also know grandmothers and mothers who have taken apart wedding dresses and used those to make lovely gowns. Wal-Mart, Target, Penney’s, Kohl’s, Dillard’s and a bunch of other places all carry baptismal or christening gowns, as does eBay. But a baby can be baptized in anything via pouring, and wears nothing via immersion until after the baptism. And then they can wear anything as well after immersion.

If you have been asked by your sibling, I suggest you check with that sibling first. People grown up enough to have a baby, then have it baptized, do not need their mothers to speak up for them. I would then call that sibling’s parish for more clarification. I would finally check with the local diocese if you feel you haven’t clarified it enough.

As far as the gown or clothes, perhaps there is an heirloom in the family the baby could wear, your mother and sibling want all this extra pomp.

7 1/2 years ago, when our children were our grandchildren, we gave the priest $100 for the baptism of both girls (my DH was the godfather). We could afford it. I got the baby’s baptismal gown on eBay for $33, lawn fabric, very old fashoined. I got the older one’s gown at a kiosk in the mall that sold display clothes after they’d been displayed.

PS: One of my brothers was baptized in plaid.

 

[FrDavid96]

My husband and I were asked to be the Godparents to my nephew. Aside from the religious responsibilities, I’d like some clarification on other responsibilities/traditions.

For example, as Godparents, we will be purchasing the baptismal gown and accessories.

However, my mother just threw in that it was also the responsibility of the godfather to give a monetary donation to the priest and that the going rate was $200!!??

I’ve done some research and found that the parents while providing the appropriate paperwork are given an envelope in which to provide a donation to the church.

Is there traditionally supposed to be a donation to both the church AND the priest? Who is tradionally supposed to pay for this?

Thanks.

Lili,

The local bishop establishes a “customary” donation (not all dioceses have such a policy though). If $200 to the priest seems steep to you (for whatever reason) then you’ve already answered your own question. The Sacraments are always performed free of charge. The parish may request a fee for utilities, and other material resources used in the baptism, but this is always just a request, and a person who can’t afford it is never denied any Sacrament.

A gift to the priest is just that, a gift. From the church’s point of view, and the priest himself, that gift is never required. Though to answer your question, yes, it is a social tradition in the US.

It seems more like the issue here is that your family expects such a gift, for whatever reason. Who gives it, and how much it should be might be some kind of ethnic or family “tradition” but it is not church policy. That’s an issue you have to work out with your mother, but the Sacraments are always free of charge.

 

[lili1971]

Thank you. I understand the social tradition in the US. I suppose the other question is who typically makes this gift/donation to the priest. Is it usually the parents or godparents?

Thank you and God bless.

 

[FrDavid96]

Thank you. I understand the social tradition in the US. I suppose the other question is who typically makes this gift/donation to the priest. Is it usually the parents or godparents?

Thank you and God bless.

Family tradition, ethnic tradition, local tradition.

There is no “universal” answer.

 

[kristie_m]

Thank you. I understand the social tradition in the US. I suppose the other question is who typically makes this gift/donation to the priest. Is it usually the parents or godparents?

Thank you and God bless.

I suppose that everyone else is right here, and that it rather depends on the family or culture, etc.

For each of my children’s baptisms, we gave a stipend to the priest (I think it was either $50 or $100, depending on what we could afford.) As for the baptisms of both of my Godchildren, I was never asked or expected to pay for anything.

 

[puzzleannie]

My husband and I were asked to be the Godparents to my nephew. Aside from the religious responsibilities, I’d like some clarification on other responsibilities/traditions.

For example, as Godparents, we will be purchasing the baptismal gown and accessories.

However, my mother just threw in that it was also the responsibility of the godfather to give a monetary donation to the priest and that the going rate was $200!!??

I’ve done some research and found that the parents while providing the appropriate paperwork are given an envelope in which to provide a donation to the church.

Is there traditionally supposed to be a donation to both the church AND the priest? Who is tradionally supposed to pay for this?

Thanks.

the religious requirements for godparents and sponsors is that the mentor and model the Christian life for the child, that they assist the parents in raising the child in the faith, and take a moral (not legal) role in raising the child in the faith should the parents die or otherwise be unable to do so. Anything else is cultural custom, including gifts and has no bearing on their canonical role. Some parishes have a stipend or donation (NEVER a fee for a sacrament) to cover costs of sacramental preparation and so forth, but this is almost universally waived in case of need, and in any case the amount is usually nominal.

 

[Joannm]

We give the parents an envelope for a donation but we never tell them that they must give an offering or what that offering should be. Most of our parents do not give an offering to the priest or deacon unless it is a private baptism with thteir own priest.

 

[mmt4]

Wow, um, I never expected my chosen godparents of my kids to pay the Priest anything. With the last child, we gave the Deacon $60 in a thank you card.

$200 is a lot lot lot of money. In the winter, that is our gas and electric bill combined for the month.

Maybe I am out of touch with parts of the country where the cost of living and salaries are higher, but gosh that seems high.

I would definitely check with you sister though because if she assumes you are handling the donation and you assume she is, no one may do it. Or you both might. Either way, I would get it straightened out with her.

And as far as I know, the amount is up to whoever is paying.