Responsibility.

[Konohage]

Hello all! I have a question.

I have an online friend–we only know each other through internet correspondance.

But she seeks my advice out a lot, especially on spiritual matters. (she’s protestant, but she respects my Catholicism).

Anyways, she often asks me difficult questions, which I try my best to answer; if I can’t, I simply tell her to seek advice from her pastor.

Lately, she’s been asking me a lot about masturbation/sexuality. I used to be addicted, but I’m not anymore.

Of course, I told her to abstain as best she could, to resist, and that eventually it would go away. But she gets very anxious about it, due to some mental issues. She says that she’ll try, but then she says that she can’t, and I don’t know how to respond to that. I simply tell her my point of view, but that its her life, and its ultimately her decision.

Is this okay? I don’t want to freak her out more, but I can’t make her stop these activities. So I just tell her my opinion and try to encourage her best I can to stop, but what do I do when she says she won’t? Do I just say, “Okay,” and not push it?

I’m worried that if I do that, I’ll be leading her into sin, and thus damaging both our souls.

 

[baltobetsy]

Sometimes you just have to admit that you’ve helped as much as you are able and that the other person needs to go for more help to someone other than yourself. This is especially true for young people, and even more so when mental issues are involved.

You’ve given her encouragement to do the right thing, so just keep encouraging and then refer her to adults who can help and then keep praying for her. You don’t have to agree that she’s made a valid choice - it’s her life after all - because she hasn’t. When she says she can’t and/or won’t stop, just tell her that you’ll keep praying for her and then stop talking. That’s perfectly fine. It’s not the same as approving.

It’s really difficult, I know, especially when the friend is someone you haven’t even met in person. People get very stubborn, and you must realize that you cannot live their life for them. You’ve done a lot for this friend. Keep praying and don’t worry.

 

[Luke65]

Well, you should remind her of what Our Lord told St. Paul: “My grace is sufficient for you” (2 Corinthians 12:9 - read passage). You should tell her to first ask Jesus to remove this thorn from her side, and if He doesn’t, then to ask Him for the grace to overcome this temptation. Paul was strong enough for grace alone to help him overcome, which is why Jesus said His grace is sufficient for Paul; others are not strong enough and need the thorn removed. God bless.

 

[Konohage]

Well, you should remind her of what Our Lord told St. Paul: “My grace is sufficient for you” (2 Corinthians 12:9 - read passage). You should tell her to first ask Jesus to remove this thorn from her side, and if He doesn’t, then to ask Him for the grace to overcome this temptation. Paul was strong enough for grace alone to help him overcome, which is why Jesus said His grace is sufficient for Paul; others are not strong enough and need the thorn removed. God bless.

Thank you for that verse, I will be sure to tell her that. I actually have tried a similar approach, telling her of my own struggles; I was addicted for over five years; I often couldn’t go more than a few weeks without some form of perversion, sometimes even no more than a few days. But now, I have no desire to do it, and I’ve been clean for months. But I guess I’ll try to tell her this, too…

 

[The_Absurdist]

But she gets very anxious about it, due to some mental issues.

Mercy! If she has mental issues, I’m certain they’re irrespective of the very, very human need for personal sexual stimulation.