Restitution

[mommyof4]

I was just wanting to know if what my priest and the book Understanding Scrupulosity said is all right? I sure hope it is; otherwise I don’t think I’ll ever stop worrying about my past (especially copyright issues)…I don’t know what to do.

Take some advice from a person who struggles with scrupulosity herself. At some point in time, you have to forgive yourself for your past sins. If you’re as old as I am, there are a lot of sins to forgive and forget, too! We need to forgive ourselves and let go of the guilt. I am just beginning to understand that when I am so filled with guilt and self loathing for all of my wasted years and my past sins, I am letting my feelings stand in the way of the Holy Spirit being truly active in my life. My current “project” is to understand and know and FEEL that we have a God who loves us unconditionally. He is also capable of untold, unimagined mercy.

Long story short: If the author of the book and your confessor both tell you that you need not make restitution, then I would follow their advice. This is something I have struggled with too, and you can get so bogged down in guilt and wondering “how can I ever undo all of the harm I have done.” Take my advice, and don’t go there!

Please also check out the website for scrupulous anonymous: There are several newsletters in the archives that talk about different aspects of scrupulosity, and I find them very helpful.

 

[CRW]

Thank-you for the links!

Yes, I have read through the Ten Commandments for the Scrupulous. It has been very helpful.

One can always provide for the poor to help make up and restitution. Do you have a poor box at your Church or St. Vincent de Paul?

 

[Trevelyan]

Athanasius,

I suffered with scrupulousity about restitution myself, but have now overcome it.

“….you are obligated to make restitution only when directed to do so by your confessor; you are not required to do so because you think it is necessary or because you feel compelled to do so.”

My priest agreed with that statement.

Thats the end of it.

Dont even think about any amount of restitution for anything in the past, ever again.

Any scrupulous thoughts are basically a temptation and must be treated as such - banished from your mind, the instant they appear. (If those thoughts come to you, you can just pray a few Hail Marys or a decade of the rosary. That’s how I overcame scrupulousity.)

So do not even start to try to think out in your mind ANY of these or other things that you are scrupulous about, ever again: you know there would be no end.

Everything is forgiven in confession - EVERYTHING - including anything you remember later. It’s forgiven. And no restitution is needed (unless your confessor tells you to).

You believe in the power of God’s Grace in the Sacrament of Reconciliation, so when you banish scrupulous thoughts of any past things, know that you are in God’s Grace and, as a matter of Faith, believe and know that everything from before your last confession is forgiven by God:

Psalm 103 says “As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our sins”

and Isaiah says “you have cast all my sins behind your back.” (38:17)

and “though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.” (1:18)

So, like your priest said, make a fresh start.

 

[baltobetsy]

I apologize, but I just wish to be sure (since I do not feel I can trust my confessor, since he is not always faithful to the magisterium).

He is the confessor God has chosen for you. If I recall correctly, you do not have access to any other priest, so you’re stuck with him. That is God’s will for you, and whether or not he is always faithful to the magisterium is HIS BUSINESS, not yours. God will deal with the priest. You will NOT commit a sin by obeying him even if he is incorrect. That’s the blessing of obedience.

The Holy Spirit works in His own way. Even an unfaithful priest (and you and I cannot really judge this about your priest) can be a conduit of grace and the voice of God for you. Trust the Holy Spirit.

So if he told you to have a fresh start, he has the authority to do that and has done so under the influence of the Holy Spirit, so **JUST STOP **with the worst-case scenarios and thank God for His mercy. The truth is neither you nor I nor any other sinner deserves a fresh start, or any mercy at all. But God gives love beyond what we can understand.

Please let God be God.

Betsy

 

[Athanasius]

Thank-you for your replies! They are very helpful.

So does that mean I do not need to track that one woman down (no matter how much software may have been on that computer?), even if I could find out where she lives from my workplace? I can just let it be “in the past”?

Also, even if I get the opportunity to ask another priest about these questions in this thread concerning restitution (say, a visiting priest or if I am on a trip), and I know he is orthodox, I still do not need to worry about bringing this stuff up, right?
Again, I can just let it be in the past?

 

[mommyof4]

Follow the advice of your confessor. Period. End of story.

 

[Trevelyan]

Thank-you for your replies! They are very helpful.

So does that mean I do not need to track that one woman down (no matter how much software may have been on that computer?), even if I could find out where she lives from my workplace? I can just let it be “in the past”?

Also, even if I get the opportunity to ask another priest about these questions in this thread concerning restitution (say, a visiting priest or if I am on a trip), and I know he is orthodox, I still do not need to worry about bringing this stuff up, right?
Again, I can just let it be in the past?

Athanasius,

Yes that’s right. It’s ALL in the past.

You are now making a fresh start - because your confessor has told you to do so in the Person of Christ. So, ultimately, Christ has told you to do so!

A fresh start means:

The scrupulous thoughts must be banished from your mind like any temptation, so don’t even think about it any more, ever.

Don’t think any more about ANY of these scrupulous things you have asked about (none, not one, not one tiny detail or fact or anything). Do not think of any more questions. Do not think about it at all any more - I have been through it myself - don’t even just think over this or that little thing - BANISH IT from your mind the instant it appears and have recourse to God or Our Lady in prayer.

(Sorry for being abrupt ; I’m speaking from hard personal experience, and I don’t mean to be rude to you.)

The instant any thought about these things from the past comes into your mind, baninsh it and fill your mind with prayer. And call to mind your belief that through the power of His Grace in the Sacrament of Reconciliation, God has forgiven EVERYTHING FROM YOUR PAST and He has CAST IT ALL BEHIND HIS BACK and REMOVED IT FROM YOU as far as the East is from the West.

So now, through Confession, you now know - as surely as anyone could ever know anything - that you are at peace with God, it is as though those things never happened (and that’s how God sees it now), and none of those things from the past - not one single thing - ever need to be thought about ever again.

God has worked through your confessor, regardless of how orthodox he may or may not be - in the sacraments it is Jesus Christ who works, through his frail instruments. So you must never mention any of those things to any priest or anyone, anywhere, ever.

God loves you. He has forgiven EVERYTHING and He has CAST IT ALL BEHIND HIS BACK and REMOVED IT FROM YOU as far as the East is from the West.

He wants you, and through His priest He has asked you, never to think about those things from the past ever again, but rather make a fresh start with Him, in His Grace and Love.

God bless you, and I am praying for you.

 

[Neithan]

Bottom line is you must trust your confessor.

If constant thoughts of restitution are obsessing you, maybe you could consider seeking indulgences. For example, just by devoutly kissing a Brown Scapular you receive a partial indulgence. That might be helpful in putting your mind at ease whenever scrupulous thoughts flare up.

God Bless.

 

[Trevelyan]

Bottom line is you must trust your confessor.

If constant thoughts of restitution are obsessing you, maybe you could consider seeking indulgences. For example, just by devoutly kissing a Brown Scapular you receive a partial indulgence. That might be helpful in putting your mind at ease whenever scrupulous thoughts flare up.

God Bless.

Athanasius,

Indulgences would be good and helpful, so long as you don’t gain them specifically with scrupulous thoughts of restitution in mind - remember, you never need to think about restitution for past things any more.

In examining your conscience from now on, you only ever need to think back as far as each last good confession.

And you could check the advice you get here with your confessor. And trust him.

God bless.

 

[Trevelyan]

Athanasius,

This is the one thing that set me free from my severe scrupulousity:

When one makes a good confession (i.e. confessing sincerely, with contrition and not intentionally withholding any clearly known mortal sin during the confession), as you have described doing, one is forgiven EVERYTHING, every sin and every detail of every sin.

Any sin or any detail of any sin that one remembers later, is forgiven and does not need to be confessed.

If anything comes to mind from before your last good confession, you have to believe in the power of God’s Grace in the Sacrament of Reconciliation and know that it is forgiven and know that you are at peace with God. And don’t let yourself think about those things at all.

Read again what I said in post #26 about making a fresh start.

I know personally what it’s like. You have to banish scrupulous thoughts from your mind like any temptation, and don’t let any of those thoughts - like what you’ve written in your long posts - stay in your mind any more. So don’t think about them, and don’t write about them - they are all forgiven and gone forever -

“As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our sins”

“you have cast all my sins behind your back.”

Trust in the infinite Mercy of God, which you have received.

 

[Athanasius]

Thank-you for your replies!

Any sin or any detail of any sin that one remembers later, is forgiven and does not need to be confessed.

I do realize that any such sins would be forgiven, but from what I understand, one does need to confess them in their next confession anyway, since, although forgiven, since they are unconfessed, and need to be confessed, right?

---

Also, I simply wish to make sure that when I do get answers to questions I have about about anything (not just these topics), from my priest (who is not always orthodox, even in the confessional), that I do not in the future need to ask these questions again from orthodox priests if I get the opportunity (or that I don’t need to worry about asking these questionsover the Internet, etc., even though I know I can’t trust my priest all the time)

I also wish to make sure I do not need to worry about tracking that one person down (even if I could from others at my workplace) and telling her about the illegal software on that computer.

Is that correct?

 

[baltobetsy]

Yes, that is correct. You have no further obligations with regard to any past sins that have been forgiven in your confessions.

You do have an obligation to obey your confessor and not to judge him. He has told you to forget the past. That order given to you from the Holy Spirit through the priest supersedes any duty you might otherwise have to confess forgotten sins.

Is your priest aware of your scrupulosity, or are you trying to get through this yourself?

Betsy

 

[rwoehmke]

Athaniasus, Give it up already. Stick with one priest, ask him for help with scruplosity. Do exactly what he tells you and quit posting about your problem. You have been given good advice and you are only digging yourself in deeper by coming back to the well.

 

[Trevelyan]

Thank-you for your replies!

I do realize that any such sins would be forgiven, but from what I understand, one does need to confess them in their next confession anyway, since, although forgiven, since they are unconfessed, and need to be confessed, right?

---

Also, I simply wish to make sure that when I do get answers to questions I have about about anything (not just these topics), from my priest (who is not always orthodox, even in the confessional), that I do not in the future need to ask these questions again from orthodox priests if I get the opportunity (or that I don’t need to worry about asking these questionsover the Internet, etc., even though I know I can’t trust my priest all the time)

I also wish to make sure I do not need to worry about tracking that one person down (even if I could from others at my workplace) and telling her about the illegal software on that computer.

Is that correct?

Athanasius,

No one ever NEEDS to confess something which is forgiven - the sin has been absolved and God has cast it behind his back.

Now, for a scrupulous person, this applies particulary - do not confess anything that is forgiven by a previous good confession, even things not mentioned ALL of which are forgiven in their every detail.

For a person without a scrupulous conscience, they MAY confess something forgiven previously, if they particularly want to.

This is what set me free from scrupulousity.

Also:

God has worked through your confessor, regardless of how orthodox he may or may not be - in the sacraments it is Jesus Christ who works, through his frail instruments. So you must never mention any of those things to any priest or anyone, anywhere, ever.

You do not need to worry about the software or ANYTHING - NOT ONE THING -FROM BEFORE YOUR LAST GOOD CONFESSION. Ever, ever, ever, ever, ever again.

God bless, and you are in my prayers.

 

[nahbios]

I have been thinking about restitution too - what a good thread! I agree that if the priest doesn’t ask the penitent to make restitution, the person can emerge from the confessional content - no matter who the priest is, just an everyday, run-of-the-mill, and extraordinarily blessed Roman Catholic priest!

Athanasius, I really felt for you in your replies, even though I had to smile at your persistence (because I’ve been quite like that too)! I hope you have overcome the worst of your scrupulousity, by God’s Grace. Do drop a line, if you can!

God Bless.