Retrouvaille--does it help?

[4everhoping]

My husband and I are struggling in the aftermath of infidelity. We read a little on the Retrouvaille website are thinking of doing a weekend. Any thoughts? My husband does not like a lot of sharing, touchy-feely stuff with strangers. Does this happen, or is it a personal sharing thing? What I am really hoping is that there will be presenting couples that have gone through the same kind of thing. I think that would be good for both of us–to listen to others who have had similar struggles.

 

[Teakafrog]

YES!! It saved our marriage. It is exactly what you want–there is no sharing with strangers at all. The only person you have to speak to the entire weekend (except for saying, “Hi, I’m Adam, this is my wife Eve”) all weekend long is your spouse–they are the ones you need to learn to communicate with! And you’re right, the presenting couples HAVE been there, done that. They all have their own problems that they had to deal with, and that’s how they know what to do to help you. I highly highly recommend it. I know that if you both go in with an open mind, it will help. It sure helped us!

 

[puzzleannie]

yes, retrouvaille is the way to go, don’t have the sharing you do with marriage encounter, but you do have to communicate with each, fortunately the leaders are there to guide you when the communication gets problematic. not a DIY event

 

[wisdom_3_5]

YES!! It saved our marriage. It is exactly what you want–there is no sharing with strangers at all. The only person you have to speak to the entire weekend (except for saying, “Hi, I’m Adam, this is my wife Eve”) all weekend long is your spouse–they are the ones you need to learn to communicate with! And you’re right, the presenting couples HAVE been there, done that. They all have their own problems that they had to deal with, and that’s how they know what to do to help you. I highly highly recommend it. I know that if you both go in with an open mind, it will help. It sure helped us!

What she said!

And I think you’re right about hearing others’ stories about their struggle and pain. Because there’s no emotional involvement with the presenting couple you can listen more objectively which makes talking about your situation easier. Sometimes its difficult to get past the hurt and emotional aspect to where there is real healing.

My husband, who is not a touchy/feely/emotion sharing kind of guy, actually suggested this as a ministry we could get involved in (once our children were older). That’s how good Retrouvaille is!

 

[4everhoping]

Thanks all! Wisdom, it was nice to hear that your H–not a TF kind of guy, suggested getting involved in the ministry later. I think that would be good for my h. Maybe he’ll think the same. He did join the KofC lately and I kind of thought–since when does he do this stuff on his own? What I found out is that he thought if he surrounds himself with people that are true to God’s words then maybe some would rub off on him. I see the suffering, pain, guilt and shame that he is going through. By any chance, would he have the opporunity to go to confession should he choose on the weekend? I just think he is suffering right now as well for everything he has put me through, and I know, as reluctant as he is, that he would feel so much better knowing that God has forgiven him.

 

[Seatuck]

Thanks all! Wisdom, it was nice to hear that your H–not a TF kind of guy, suggested getting involved in the ministry later. I think that would be good for my h. Maybe he’ll think the same. He did join the KofC lately and I kind of thought–since when does he do this stuff on his own? What I found out is that he thought if he surrounds himself with people that are true to God’s words then maybe some would rub off on him. I see the suffering, pain, guilt and shame that he is going through. By any chance, would he have the opporunity to go to confession should he choose on the weekend? I just think he is suffering right now as well for everything he has put me through, and I know, as reluctant as he is, that he would feel so much better knowing that God has forgiven him.

Yes, there is the chance to go to confession. Yes , you do not have to do any touchy feely sharing stuff with strangers. Go on the weekend. We went last summer. You will learn a tool for communication. Surrounding yourself with people who believe in giving marriage a chance according to God’s design despite it’s difficulties is exactly what you will find in Retrouvaille.

 

[rayne89]

Awesome program. It saved my marriage and there is no group sharing. I recently paid for my bestfriend and her husband to go on a weekend (they are having financial difficulties) and they thought it was fantastic too.

 

[tamccrackine]

This sounds like something my DH could use. We don’t suffer an aftermath of infidelity, but we could use some commo skill (or at least a refresher).

Good luck in finding one and I’ll hold you and your DH in my prayers as you work through this trying time.

I do know a marriage can survive infidelity as long as both are willing to work at it. :hug1:

 

[yessisan]

It only helps if both of you are willing to work on it. It is a great program though. I went through it and might be doing it again.

 

[AES]

Yes, I went too, but both H&W must FIRST want the marriage to heal! I’m one of the few that everything I tried has backfired and the last resort is going our separate ways. I think Retrouvaille is a great program for troubled marriages and is worth it…