C
Calvert122
Guest
It has been nearly nine months since I learned of my wife’s affair (which she has never admitted to…), it has been five months since we went to Retrouvaille and 3 1/2 months since we finished the Retrouvaille post sessions.
I am sad that we haven’t made more progress. I’d describe our home life as stable right now, but the momentum and hope I felt after Retrouvaille has diminished. My wife just never really embraced the whole dialogue process. We kept it up for the first couple of weeks, then did 3x/week for a few weeks, then 1x/week for a month or so, but we haven’t done it in 3 weeks now. I feel like if I don’t mention it, she would be fine if we never did it again. But it is really one of the only ways she expresses her feelings to me. And I feel closer to her when we do it. I’ve mentioned that to her, and she’ll say, “We can do it,” but it’s clear she has no enthusiasm for it, and as I said, if I wait for her to suggest it or make the time to do a dialogue, it will never happen again.
I still feel very fragile about our relationship, which makes me sad. We had a nice anniversary night away, no kids, and were physically intimate in some ways for the first time in a long time (oral sex, no intercourse), but she seemed to honestly have no enthusiasm for it. So it wasn’t all that enjoyable.
I am working through things, and praying for my family and my wife, but this has been really hard. There are ups and downs and I guess I am in a downward mode right now.
I am sad that we haven’t made more progress. I’d describe our home life as stable right now, but the momentum and hope I felt after Retrouvaille has diminished. My wife just never really embraced the whole dialogue process. We kept it up for the first couple of weeks, then did 3x/week for a few weeks, then 1x/week for a month or so, but we haven’t done it in 3 weeks now. I feel like if I don’t mention it, she would be fine if we never did it again. But it is really one of the only ways she expresses her feelings to me. And I feel closer to her when we do it. I’ve mentioned that to her, and she’ll say, “We can do it,” but it’s clear she has no enthusiasm for it, and as I said, if I wait for her to suggest it or make the time to do a dialogue, it will never happen again.
I still feel very fragile about our relationship, which makes me sad. We had a nice anniversary night away, no kids, and were physically intimate in some ways for the first time in a long time (oral sex, no intercourse), but she seemed to honestly have no enthusiasm for it. So it wasn’t all that enjoyable.
I am working through things, and praying for my family and my wife, but this has been really hard. There are ups and downs and I guess I am in a downward mode right now.