Return to Catholicism & Annulment

[cmg2205]

I was baptized Catholic, received first communion, but never was confirmed. I miss the church, and want to come back, but I’m worried that my past will hinder me.

I’ve been married twice. Both failures. My first marriage was in the Catholic church to a non-Catholic. We divorced because he cheated on me. My second marriage (civil) was to another non-Catholic. We are in the process of divorce as he is an abusive alcoholic.

So, in order to fully come back to the church, I believe I should get annulments and go to RCIA. Which do I do first? Is it even possible to do this? I feel so embarassed about my poor choices that I wanted to ask someone here, instead of going to the local parish.

Thank you for your help!

 

[1ke]

You are a Catholic who, although married/divorced/remarried is currently living single and celibate. Therefore, to return to the Church what you would need to do is go to a priest for Confession. You might want to make an appointment with a priest, instead of just showing up in the confession line since he might want to talk to you at length and typically confession is only a short time period with people there waiting their turn. Making an appointment would allow you to talk to him without time constraints, and to do Confession.

Once you’ve gone to Confession, you can resume the Sacramental life.

Since you’ve never been confirmed, you should sign up for whatever process your parish uses for adults seeking confirmation. That could be Adult Confirmation classes, or it may be that they put adult Catholics in with RCIA candidates for the catechesis part. RCIA is technically not where you belong because you’re already Catholic. But, in reality some parishes cannot run multiple programs so they lump everyone together.

As for decree of nullity, the priest can help you with that. Since you are not currently in an active invalid marriage (i.e, engaging in sexual relations with the second husband) then there is no barrier to returning to the Sacraments while your nullity petition is in the works.

That’s the basics, based on what you have said here. But, really, the first step is to make that appointment and lay it all out for the priest. He can then tell you what to do and ask probing questions for any nuances of your situation we may miss here on an anonymous message board!

Don’t delay!

 

[Speak_Up]

According to the Deacon at my parish, who handles all annulments, and just gave a presentation on marriage and annulments the other night, he has literally seen and heard it all. Your case would probably not even register a blip on his radar… he’d see it as routine. So don’t be embarrassed. Serving you and helping you get closer to God and become a fully practicing Catholic is their job. They want to help you get there. The Church is a hospital for sinners. If everyone were perfect, priests and deacons and all the rest wouldn’t have jobs. We all mess up… asking for help is what we’re supposed to do.