Returning Catholic marrying a non-denominational Christian

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lalaron

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I apologize in advance for the length and maybe a little disorganized that this may be and I am grateful for any advice that you may have.

I have slowly been returning to the Catholic church or actually really coming to it for the first time. (Or at least trying.) I was sort of raised in the Catholic church but not really since my parents were not practicing they just took me to get my early sacraments then stopped taking me to CCD classes when I was in middle school and I decided to become confirmed in high school because I thought it was the right thing to do (even though my parents really did not support it). Since then I sorta turned my back on God and now with the encouragement of a friend and mostly my boyfriend I have decided to return to my Catholic faith which I was sort of raised in but not completely.

This has left me more of less confused. I have been taking some time (although not probably enough) to learn the teachings of the church and what it means to be Catholic. The friend and boyfriend who turned me on to Christianity are actually non-denominational Christians and I attended non-denominational church for a while but I was compelled to go to a Catholic church because of my background.

Now I am a little lost. I want to spend more time learning more about the faith and Jesus but I do not know the right way. I feel a little uncomfortable when I talk to priests too. I feel like I fall short in so many ways. I don’t want this for my future children, I want them to have a good religious education, etc.

Currently, my non-denominational Christian boyfriend of two years has told me that he would like to get married to me soon but there are issues that we have not worked out. Part of this stems from my/our confusion with the Catholic church/Catholicism. I really want to live a life that is pleasing to God/Jesus but I am not sure what that is.

One other issue that we are dealing with is that I will be beginning medical school this summer and I am all for NFP. But he does not think it will work and is concerned about me having children in medical school/training. I used to take birth control pills for non-birth control related reasons (I was completely abstinent during times that I took the pill). My period can make me very ill and not functional for a couple days. Additionally, I have noticed that since I have stopped taking the pill I have been (or may have been) prone to panic attacks which I am wondering if they are hormone related as they happen during specific times of the month (right before my period is the worst). I was originally thinking about going back on it during medical school (not planning on being married… I would like to be married but I was not necessarily planning on it) to help me out with those issues, I want to be the best that I can be during school and training. But then if I get married I feel like I am not doing the right thing.

I guess I am still in the stage of not completely understanding everything. I feel like I just want God/Jesus to just take control because I do not know which path to take.

I feel like God has given me all these opportunities but I am not using them wisely. I want to do what is most pleasing to Him and do good work that glorifies Him. I feel called to service and the health care, public health, and health education field. I also would really like to have a family and I am willing to make sacrifices for that as well.

I am in my upper 20’s almost 30 and so is my boyfriend. Although only God can control these things, I would like to have 2-3 children and I think that if we were to get married in a year or so and use NFP or even using nothing that that is definitely do able.

What would be a good way for my boyfriend and I to work more toward having a Christ-centered relationship?

I feel so lost and I just want to get on the right track and I want my boyfriend to be on the same track with me if we are going to officially become engaged and get married too.

Sorry once again for the disorganization, I am just a lost sheep. :-/
 
to repeat:"What would be a good way for my boyfriend and I to work more toward having a Christ-centered relationship? "
so you also want to ‘tie the knot’ as they say?
that should be an easy question to answer…but i am at a loss for words as i begin this reply, except that other catholics might advise precisely how to approach a parish church, in detail/
i usually chose posts where i might be able to suggest the ABC’s of prayer/ that way-you work out your own problem-in prayer/ prayer gets results…

i guess i said that i am at a loss for words to answer the question, as the pretext of your OP…is much like Jesus’ words, to paraquote,…much like…'it is easier for a rich man to get through the eye of a needle that get to heaven…" This to me shows such a paradox…even, in modern times, is this outdated? or seems rich people can get to heaven…so is there a hidden meaning? to inquire more?/ (i realize your issue is not riches though)/ just to reason through it-apparently, there was a passage into Jerusalem, correct me if wrong, that was called the ‘needles eye’ so if a big fat camel tried to enter the gate; its welcome was meet with time to get it unstuck from the narrow passage; in other words,even Jesus must admit the words, seems so, “not a chance>”

well back to a Christ centered relationship…so i change my mind a bit-i think i can answer in context your question, as follows: "to say not a chance… or is there a chance?
If there is a chance-there is required a great faith…
what if the faith is that of to the Nth degree needed/this being further explained by a needle…

Identity is important to learn in prayer…such as
"I am a needle , small and insignificant,
see the black cloth…where i am stitched…

see the blood red thread through me, with me, trailing me?
I am sewn by the hand of God who can make a garment of priesthood for God’s people…"
(returned to edit: the red thread, in my mystical poetry) is the BLOOD CHRIST>)
To answer your question, firstly to reiterate:
"What would be a good way for my boyfriend and I to work more toward having a Christ-centered relationship? " Well, God can do anything…
so a good way is to take steps to learn how to be a skilled pray-er (like worker)…likewise prayer unties knots,knots a person ties in his/her life, knots of an era in life/ knots are difficult to untie and frustrating that there are so many/ faith would be like loosing control, letting Jesus be servant, and suddenly the knots are untied-without your hands to touch…but i think that to pray together with someone is enough faith-this causes a good chance to untie the knots of life…
i hope this helps…and hey-set aside 10 minutes a day to pray-prayer gets results…
 
Alot of the questions you have I don’t feel like they can be answered by anyone but the two of you once you have a good understanding of the Catholic Faith. What I can tell you is the best place to learn the faith is RCIA even if you are already confirmed and your boyfriend may have no inclination to be converted it is a wonderful place to ask questions and be with other people learning the faith.

My wife is currently going through RCIA and she finds it easier to ask questions in a group of people in her same position. She is currently against going strait to the priest because she feels uncomfortable. I hope everything goes well for both of you . God Bless.
 
Don’t be apologetic about your lack of knowledge about the Church. Most Catholics have very limited knowledge. Most Protestants have very little knowledge of the Bible or their churches.

A good start is Father Trigilio’s book “Catholicism For Dummies”
amazon.com/Catholicism-Dummies-Rev-John-Trigilio/dp/1118077784

The best overall description of Catholicism is the Catechism of the Catholic Church:
vatican.va/archive/ENG0015/_INDEX.HTM
scborromeo.org/ccc.htm

or the shorter Compendium of the Catechism in question and answer format:
vatican.va/archive/compendium_ccc/documents/archive_2005_compendium-ccc_en.html

It is important to remember that the Catholic Church is THE non-denominational Church, the Church founded by Christ himself two thousand years ago. Protestant churches are all man-made churches of very modern invention which lack the fullness of the faith. As individuals, Protestants may be outstanding Christians.

Congratulations on being accepted to medical school. I work with med students. It is hard work, certainly, but it is a very important career.
 
First, welcome to Catholic Answers and I’m happy to read about your journey in Faith.

My youth sounded very similar. My dad always had issues with the Catholic Church and mother is a cafeteria Catholic (believes what she wants to believe). I too skipped some years of CCD and then returned two years before Confirmation.

I would suggest that you do the following:
  1. Go to Confession (if nervious, simply stay behind the screen so the Priest doesn’t see you). Tell the priest it’s the first time you’ve been to confession in X years. Talk about how you fell away from the Faith and that after confession that you would like to speak with a priest (don’t forget to list all the sins you can remember). I almost cried during my confession because it was like a weight being lifted off my shoulders (had not been to confession in over 20 years at that point - now I go at least once a month).
If you like the priest you are confessing to, you can make the appointment with him. Or make the appointment with one who did not hear your confession.
  1. When you meet with the priest, tell him about yourself. When I did this, I spent a good 1.5 hours with the priest talking about all sorts of stuff. It really made me feel good and then he blessed me which almost made me cry with joy and sorrow for being away from the Church for so long.
  2. Buy a copy of the Catechism of the Catholic Church. You can buy it or read an online version here:
    usccb.org/beliefs-and-teachings/what-we-believe/catechism/catechism-of-the-catholic-church/index.cfm
In addtion, you can also read:
Compendium of the Catechism of the Catholic Church which you can get at: usccbpublishing.org/productdetails.cfm?sku=5-720

You can also purchase the two books listed above here at Catholic Answers: shop.catholic.com/tag/product/list/tagId/4/

There is also the **United States Catholic Catechism for Adults **
usccbpublishing.org/client/client_pages/usccaindex.cfm

and the Baltimore Catechism which can be purchased from the Catholic Answers link.

There are also a number of different Catholic books about Faith fundamentals you can read up on here: shop.catholic.com/books-1/faith-fundamentals.html

NOTE: if you feel the need to answer any objections from your non-denominational friends, there are books at Catholic Answers which can help you too shop.catholic.com/books-1/apologetics.html plus their free tracts.
  1. Finally, sign up for RCIA at your local parish or a parish you like. Even though you have already been Confirmed, RCIA can be used by Catholics as a “refresher” so you can learn about the faith you were raised in and about what Catholics actually believe.
I know I wrote a lot here, so if you have any questions please feel to ask the group or please feel free to PM me with any questions too.

Good luck on your Faith Journey and God Bless.
 
lalaron said:
I apologize in advance for the length and maybe a little disorganized that this may be and I am grateful for any advice that you may have.

I have slowly been returning to the Catholic church or actually really coming to it for the first time. (Or at least trying.) I was sort of raised in the Catholic church but not really since my parents were not practicing they just took me to get my early sacraments then stopped taking me to CCD classes when I was in middle school and I decided to become confirmed in high school because I thought it was the right thing to do (even though my parents really did not support it). Since then I sorta turned my back on God and now with the encouragement of a friend and mostly my boyfriend I have decided to return to my Catholic faith which I was sort of raised in but not completely.

This has left me more of less confused. I have been taking some time (although not probably enough) to learn the teachings of the church and what it means to be Catholic. The friend and boyfriend who turned me on to Christianity are actually non-denominational Christians and I attended non-denominational church for a while but I was compelled to go to a Catholic church because of my background.

Now I am a little lost. I want to spend more time learning more about the faith and Jesus but I do not know the right way. I feel a little uncomfortable when I talk to priests too. I feel like I fall short in so many ways. I don’t want this for my future children, I want them to have a good religious education, etc.

Currently, my non-denominational Christian boyfriend of two years has told me that he would like to get married to me soon but there are issues that we have not worked out. Part of this stems from my/our confusion with the Catholic church/Catholicism. I really want to live a life that is pleasing to God/Jesus but I am not sure what that is.

One other issue that we are dealing with is that I will be beginning medical school this summer and I am all for NFP. But he does not think it will work and is concerned about me having children in medical school/training. I used to take birth control pills for non-birth control related reasons (I was completely abstinent during times that I took the pill). My period can make me very ill and not functional for a couple days. Additionally, I have noticed that since I have stopped taking the pill I have been (or may have been) prone to panic attacks which I am wondering if they are hormone related as they happen during specific times of the month (right before my period is the worst). I was originally thinking about going back on it during medical school (not planning on being married… I would like to be married but I was not necessarily planning on it) to help me out with those issues, I want to be the best that I can be during school and training. But then if I get married I feel like I am not doing the right thing.

I guess I am still in the stage of not completely understanding everything. I feel like I just want God/Jesus to just take control because I do not know which path to take.

I feel like God has given me all these opportunities but I am not using them wisely. I want to do what is most pleasing to Him and do good work that glorifies Him. I feel called to service and the health care, public health, and health education field. I also would really like to have a family and I am willing to make sacrifices for that as well.

I am in my upper 20’s almost 30 and so is my boyfriend. Although only God can control these things, I would like to have 2-3 children and I think that if we were to get married in a year or so and use NFP or even using nothing that that is definitely do able.

What would be a good way for my boyfriend and I to work more toward having a Christ-centered relationship?

I feel so lost and I just want to get on the right track and I want my boyfriend to be on the same track with me if we are going to officially become engaged and get married too.

Sorry once again for the disorganization, I am just a lost sheep. :-/
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You guys MUST work this all out before marriage, at least to a point of comfort and understanding.

For the NFP, I suggest you take a class together so you both can understand it and why it works very effectively.

I really think you need to go to RCIA type classes or a Catholics Come Home class. Something like that will offer you a way to learn the faith.

God Bless,

Keep diving in! As a confirmed Catholic you need to get married in the Catholic Church, set an appointment with someone in your parish to talk with you.
 
Ask around in your neighboring parishes and your diocese. You should be able to find adult faith formation classes or meetings. You have an ideal opportunity to go to Bible study or faith sharing or something similar that will help you grow in faith. You might also think about a spiritual director. This is someone who can be helpful in discerning your vocation to marriage, someone you can confide in with your life story and personal details, someone who can identify ways for you to live out the call of your baptism in the world.

Above all, get registered and active at a parish where you feel comfortable. Get involved in devotions, an active prayer life is so important. If you find the right parish then there will be much more going on than just Mass on Sundays, and you will be spiritually fed. You will be in my prayers.
 
You know, a great source is the Catholicism series by Fr. Robert Barron. It’s a series of videos (which can be a little pricey) but it also comes in a very-readable book form. It doesn’t detail every belief and practice, but it’s an awesome overview of the entire faith and you’ll get a great feel for the journey you’re embarking on. Maybe you and your boyfriend could read the book together and discuss it. It will help you two get closer, and it will help him understand your faith as well. The more information, the better, right?

Definitely try to take a class on NFP if there is one available in your area. If not, there’s a fantastic book out there… I"m drawing a blank on the name of course haha. Someone remind me what it’s called! Anyway, it’s great.

I’m so glad you are on CAF, and I’m very excited about your faith journey! God bless you!
 
Jon_S said:
You guys MUST work this all out before marriage, at least to a point of comfort and understanding.

For the NFP, I suggest you take a class together so you both can understand it and why it works very effectively.

I really think you need to go to RCIA type classes or a Catholics Come Home class. Something like that will offer you a way to learn the faith.

God Bless,

Keep diving in! As a confirmed Catholic you need to get married in the Catholic Church, set an appointment with someone in your parish to talk with you.
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you must also raise your children catholic, which is something else you need to sort out with your boyfriend before marriage.

also, there must be just reasons to use NFP, not just because you don’t want more kids for selfish reasons.

that’s great you are in med school, i hope i can get in as well. i think being a doctor and raising a family will be difficult, but i believe you can manage it. one step at a time, i tink getting your faith sorted out first should be your first priority and then see where you boyfriend stands. then i think you will get a better picture of whether marriage between you two will work or not

welcome to the faith journey, i will keep you in my prayers. god bless
 
IBombAtomically said:
You know, a great source is the Catholicism series by Fr. Robert Barron. It’s a series of videos (which can be a little pricey) but it also comes in a very-readable book form. It doesn’t detail every belief and practice, but it’s an awesome overview of the entire faith and you’ll get a great feel for the journey you’re embarking on. Maybe you and your boyfriend could read the book together and discuss it. It will help you two get closer, and it will help him understand your faith as well. The more information, the better, right?

Definitely try to take a class on NFP if there is one available in your area. If not, there’s a fantastic book out there… I"m drawing a blank on the name of course haha. Someone remind me what it’s called! Anyway, it’s great.

I’m so glad you are on CAF, and I’m very excited about your faith journey! God bless you!
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Thank you and everyone else on your advice and prayers. I will look into the videos and RCIA classes and some of the books. Unfortunately, it is easy for me to become overwhelmed something that I will need God to help me out with. I feel that I just need more time to figure all this stuff out. I start medical school in a couple months which means that I will be moving far away from my boyfriend which is probably one of the reasons he wants to get engaged soon. (He wants to move near my medical school and get married.) Also, we have been dating for over two years. When we started dating I said that I was Christian but I really wasn’t a very good one and even today I struggle with my faith and making sense out of everything. I feel like these things should be sorted out before marriage and even medical school. How am I supposed to manage practicing medicine as a Catholic/Christian? I feel like there may be ethical issues that I am not even aware of because I do not know/understand enough.
 
In a similar boat as a returning Catholic, married to a non-denominational-unclear-on-own-beliefs-yet-wonderful wife. There were some things I wanted to know, and Waking Up Catholic was recommended to me (by a guy who was Protestant, then went to modern Joel Osteen rock-n-roll churches, then embraced Catholicism). It’s a great book and it’s a very good, easy read. It addressed a lot of questions I had. I recommend it as a good starting place. I will, however, be going to RCIA in September and am happy to report my wife appears positive to attending it with me.
 
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