Returning Catholic... So many questions

  • Thread starter Thread starter Hiswifehermom
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
H

Hiswifehermom

Guest
I’m a 38 year old mother of one, married for seven years and have had a VERY bumpy go of it the last several years.

First off I was “raised catholic” by two people struggling with addiction which eventually led to my father dying, and my mother signing her rights away to me when I was 13. Long story short I’ve “made it”.

In 2007 while pregnant with my daughter I was diagnosed with cancer, decided against treatment until my daughter was delivered and healthy; which of course has caused many health issues. I’m currently battling bone cancer.

During 7 years of marriage we’ve battled cancer for 6.5 years, he lost his job, we lost our home, moved across country twice and we finally settled 1500 miles away from home I’m Houston.

About 6 months ago I just broke. My life felt broken, pointless and too much to bear. I tried to determine what was missing, why I was struggling and what I could do. Well, it took until today for me to walk in to mass.

I feel amazing after having gone but I feel so lost as far as the church is concerned and how to find the “right” place. The mass we went to was amazing but of course felt very established. Which is understandable. I’m just curious as to how you start make it all come together?

By no means do I want to take short cuts; I’m prepared to put the work in. I’m more concerned with where to start.
 
Welcome home!

Did you receive First Communion and Confirmation as a child? If not, you should enroll in your parish’s RCIA program. Even if you have received all the sacraments, it wouldn’t be a bad idea to attend anyway as a sort of refresher course. Other than that, an examination of conscience and a confession are all you need to be able to receive communion again (if you’ve already had your First Communion, that is.)

What sort of questions do you have? I’m sure plenty of people will be willing to help you out once you elaborate.
 
I did make my first communion, I was not confirmed.

I’m planning on emailing the parish and seeing what programs they have available.

If we continue going to this parish, what does becoming a member involve? I know there is an application, I’m not sure what that process is or how to prepare for it.

Also, if there are events or extra activities that we would like to attend or contribute to is it appropriate to reach out to the leaders of the specific group? Or shall I wait until we are “official”?
 
Welcome Back! Just fill out the enrollment form. Not big deal. They will want copies of your baptism and first communion. Just call the church you had the sacraments at and they will send copies. Very easy! You will want to go to confesson, then you are good to go. Remember, once a Catholic, always a Catholic!
Welcome Home and bring the family too…
 
As of right now, all you need to do is to go to confession and you may start to receive communion again. Confession can be daunting after so long. I suggest you just go in and tell father what you have told us - except maybe with just a bit more detail…😉
When I made my first confession back, I didn’t try to enumerate all my sins (from 38 years :eek:). Instead I use the seven deadly sins (root causes) as a basis and spoke about how one thing led to another…(spiritual sloth led to pride which led to lust, then to greed, then to anger etc…). When I came out I felt a million times better and Holy Communion has been such a joy ever since.

The only application involved would be to get you registered in the parish.
As for groups and such - just ask that in your e-mail to father.

As for confirmation. Normally you would take classes for this and be confirmed at Easter (next year). However, since you are battling life threatening health issues, they may help you speed this up.

Welcome Home.

James
 
Hiswifehermom said:
I did make my first communion, I was not confirmed.

I’m planning on emailing the parish and seeing what programs they have available.
Click to expand...
The Archdiocese of Galveston-Houston has adult confirmation in the late spring/early summer. Most parishes have a six week confirmatin prep program for adults (I know for sure St John Vianney does in west Houston). You can simply sign up for that and can be confirmed.

Your pastor can also help you with steps to convalidate your marriage (assuming you got married outside the Church).

The best place to start is simply to make an appointment with the pastor and tell him what you’ve told us. Emailing the parish might get you a secretary, and they may not have all the information you need. Best to call the parish and make an in person appointment with the pastor.
Hiswifehermom said:
If we continue going to this parish, what does becoming a member involve? I know there is an application, I’m not sure what that process is or how to prepare for it.
Click to expand...
It’s not an application. You are a member of your parish by virtue of geography, where you live. Registration is just giving them information on how to reach you-- for example, name, address, phone number, email, etc.
Hiswifehermom said:
Also, if there are events or extra activities that we would like to attend or contribute to is it appropriate to reach out to the leaders of the specific group? Or shall I wait until we are “official”?
Click to expand...
Yes, great to reach out. And you are already “official” because you are a Catholic.
 
JRKH said:
As for confirmation. Normally you would take classes for this and be confirmed at Easter (next year).
Click to expand...
She is a Catholic already. She does not attend RCIA and she is not confirmed at Easter. The Archdiocese of G-H actually does it right-- the parishes have adult confirmation classes, and the bishop confirms adults during the Easter season.
JRKH said:
However, since you are battling life threatening health issues, they may help you speed this up.
Click to expand...
Agreed. Serious health issues could spur the priest to seek permission to confirm her right away.
 
Hi Hiswife,

Welcome to the forum. 🙂

When I have registered as a member with a parish, I have made an appointment with the parish office and have done it in person.

That’s just how I have done it. That way, if I have any questions about the parish–any programs, etc., I can ask at the same time while registering.

When you register, that is when you get your membership information, like your Parish Member Handbook, which contains all of the different programs that the parish has to offer. It is like a directory, and contains contact information of who you should call for what type of information/committee, etc.

You should also get some envelopes at the same time, until your family envelopes come to you in the mail.
 
Hiswifehermom said:
I did make my first communion, I was not confirmed.

I’m planning on emailing the parish and seeing what programs they have available.

If we continue going to this parish, what does becoming a member involve? I know there is an application, I’m not sure what that process is or how to prepare for it.

Also, if there are events or extra activities that we would like to attend or contribute to is it appropriate to reach out to the leaders of the specific group? Or shall I wait until we are “official”?
Click to expand...
To become a member, you just fill out a form with your address, phone number, names, etc. It’s very simple. Some parishes will even let you do that online.

For activities/events, it is definitely okay to reach out to the leaders. That’s why their contact info is listed! No need to wait until you’re an official member.
 
:extrahappy:
Welcome home! Glad you have found a parish where you are feeling some peace!
Hiswifehermom said:
I did make my first communion, I was not confirmed.
Click to expand...
Since you are baptized and have had your first communion already, a trip to the confessional is the most important thing to do before you receive communion. Some people find this idea a little scary after years away from the Church, but you don’t need to! You can tell the priest your situation, and he will help you to make a good confession. Unless he was literally ordained yesterday, you probably won’t be telling the him anything he hasn’t heard before. Feel free to ask questions about that here too. Also, you don’t need to be a registered parishoner to go to confession. You just need to be ready to accept God’s wonderful mercy!

If you want to be confirmed, the program you are looking for is RCIA. You can contact any of your parish priests, or ask the RCIA director, if they are listed in the parish bulletin.
If we continue going to this parish, what does becoming a member involve? I know there is an application, I’m not sure what that process is or how to prepare for it.
Click to expand...
If you’re just looking to become an “official” parishoner, there is usually just a registration card to fill out. It’s not really an application, like for a job where you have to get some kind of approval. 🙂
Also, if there are events or extra activities that we would like to attend or contribute to is it appropriate to reach out to the leaders of the specific group? Or shall I wait until we are “official”?
Click to expand...
Absolutely, reach out whenever you are ready! This is a great way to meet people and find your niche within the parish. With the exception of things like teaching Catechism, most activities don’t require you to be confirmed before you get involved. In the parish bulletin there are probably contact details for the leaders of different ministries that you can get in touch with. What kinds of things are you interested in?
 
Ask if your church has Stephens Ministeries. These are people who are trained to help others in a number of ways
 
Thank you so much everyone.

The information you’ve provided is SO helpful. I will request the information on my baptism and communion and get that ball rolling for sure.

I agree the first step should be a face to face meeting. The parish does provide an online application but I feel that may be a but impersonal. So I’m going to see if I can make an appointment for sure.

The family attended with me today! It was really nice. My daughter was really interested in everything that was going on; very sweet.

Thank you again for all the great advice and kind words.
 
The only thing I can add is the most important, Prayers. And you have them, mine and from people who posted replies and and many that have read and not posted.

M
 
I wish I could buy you a pair of Rosary Beads but obviously I cannot, so I will say the Rosary for you- and your courage in coming back to the Lord, I can just imagine the Lord having such a big smile on His Face seeing you on your Return as any Father would.

You might like to go to RCIA so this will give you a hand in learning about the faith, and then you can do the reading yourself, get books out in the Library.

God Bless and walk with the Lord.
 
Check your diocese’s web site to see if they have a The Light Is On For You program. This is a special program during Lent to make the Sacrament of Reconciliation available during extended hours in Lent. In Boston all churches offer Confession on Wednesday evenings during Lent.

God bless you in your journey! I also returned to the Catholic Church after a long absence. Best thing that happened in my life.
 
WELCOME HOME - Praise our Lord for your hearing His call … All the Angels and Saints in Heaven are rejoicing for you :extrahappy:

Confession … as has been mentioned …

As for registering … well when my spouse and I made our way back to the church - we delayed registering … not for any spiritual reasons nor any doubts. the parish was in the middle of a parish photo directory drive at the time … count us camera shy … we waited several months before ‘officially’ registering … my daughter - a non-Catholic freshman in high school began attending Youth Group activities immediately, we attended Mass and every parish activity like the annual parish picnic and KOC breakfasts, spaghetti dinners … and registered for RCIA … all without ‘officially’ registering … and all of us were welcomed and included - to the fullest extent possible for our circumstances. My daughter did later decide to become a catholic - but she was welcome to attend youth group activities fully [except for confession and of course receiving communion at Mass] … Retreats, serving the homeless, youth group presentations and small group discussions - all of it …

So, attend Mass, read the bulletin, attend / join small faith sharing groups, meet people and register … in any order you desire … Take care of yourself … perhaps begin attending daily morning Mass - meet some folks, go to coffee after … ask questions …

If its a big urban parish - do not assume someone will recognize you are new … they may just think you are a 5:00 PM Saturday Vigil Mass goer whose schedule this week caused you to attend the 9:00 AM Sunday Mass … introduce your self - tell them you are new to the parish …reach out … the parish will not be unfriendly … its just people are busy, our lives are full and we may not realize you are new … my home parish [urban] has over 2000 families … my secondary parish [very small rural] has about 75 families - so new people tend to stick out more … but still - they have 2 masses and some people are just visiting … so reach out 😉
 
In Connecticut the Leave the Light On is at all churches in Hartford county on Monday nights from 6-7. It’s a really good program and very welcoming.

I forgot, you and your family, are in my prayers and the prayers of my family!
 
Celtic_Maiden said:
I wish I could buy you a pair of Rosary Beads…
Click to expand...
Some parishes have a rosary making ministry that distributes free rosaries. My parish does, and there is aways a ready supply in our adoration chapel and a basketful set out at funerals and other prayer-related parish events. It’s a really valuable ministry.

If they do this at the OP’s new parish, she might be able to pick one up, if she wants.
 
Some parishes have a ministry for assisting those who have been away from the Church to return. The parish we attend has such a program - it’s called “Landings” as it’s designed to offer a soft “landing” for people as they are welcomed back.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top