Reverence at Mass

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StaceRaft

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I am currently struggling with an issue regarding people who insist on talking thru the Mass or other sacramental rites. My son had his first communion this past Saturday and I was awestruck at the behavior of some people. During Holy Communion while on the kneeling rail, someone actually disturbed my prayer because they wanted to get a photo when they were specifically told to stay in their seats throughout the service. Then after I received communion and was praying on the kneeling rail (while communion was still in process) another member of the same family was standing up talking to someone 2 pews away while I waited patiently for her to sit down so that I could resume praying. I finally put the kneeling rail down again and then started to pray at which point she now started sayin ‘excuse me’ ‘excuse me’, so I got up again and let her through. I was angry at this person. The time after receiving communion is very sacred to me. What I would like to know is this…Do I simply stay where I am until I am finished praying? Do I say something like, Maa’m would you please sit down so that I may pray? Or do I do nothing and let them violate the sanctity of the sacrament as they walk in and out while people are trying to pray?
At Mass on Sunday the gentleman behind me talked throughout the entire mass. I am morally torn between feeling like I am ‘judging others’ and not ‘standing up for God’ in his own house. Any advice would be appreciated greatly.:confused:
 
Isn’t terribly sad that some people can cause so many disturbances?

Here’s what I did on Sunday.

As I’m sure many parishes have the problem of parishioners arriving late. We were in the middle of the prayer right before the readings when someone tapped me on the shoulder. I ignored them and continued to pray. Then she said, “Excuse me.” Again, I ignored her. Thankfully the prayer was short. Once the prayer was over I said in a very kind way (trying not to be rude or crabby), “Please don’t ask through until the prayer is over.” She seemed to be taken aback. I was taken aback by the interruption. After Mass was over, she came up to me and apologized. It didn’t even cross her mind that she picked an inopportune time to make her way through.

Obviously, that was a different situation. I usually place myself at the very end of a pew in order to keep communion time interruptions to a minimum. Also, my parish seems to be good about making sure everyone is in their spot before kneeling. Are you saying that this person was moving around after they received communion? That’s absurd! There are going to be times that one must move around. However, it should be few and far between. I don’t know that there is anything you could have done in that situation other than to avoid those people in the future.

God bless,
Nicole
 
Yes, this was after receiving communion. Our entire pew was seated. My family always sits at the end of the pew. We kept waiting for her to sit down and she kept looking at us every time we would start to kneel, so we would get back up and wait more. Finally after the third time of getting up and down, we knelt to pray. That is when she decided she wanted to sit down.
 
I understand how you feel. This past weekend it was also First Communion for some kids and even though people are not to interrupt this sacred time with video taping or cameras, for the DRE tells them, they still do it. My dd had her First Communion last year and the same DRE tells the people the same every year per the Pastor’s instruction. It think what happens is miss communication. I told everyone who I invited to my dd’s First Communion that no pictures were to be taken during Mass at all. No one took pictures in my family. I think if the First Communion family forgets to tell their friends or family that they should not interrupt this sacred time with pictures and videos, it will be done by some. I think if someone really wants to take it even after being told, they will. This past Sunday, we had a man at the entrance of our pew video taping. He is not suppose to, but he was. I had to wait for him to stop before going into my pew and praying. Fortunately, he saw me standing there and stopped so that we could enter, but than he continued. I just ignored him and prayed. I think another problem is that some of these people are not Catholic. I know I had many in my family who were not Catholic anymore. I think they don’t understand how important Holy Communion time is to us. Even though the woman you mention said received Communion. She could be Catholic or not. I know I have told my two sisters who left the Church not to receive Communion for they believe it is a symbol only. For years after they left the Church, they would receive. Finally, one stop receiving and other unfortunately still does. I have already talked to her and she still does. She did for my dd’s First Communion. My nephew’s Confirmation is coming up in June and she will be there. I just wish that the pastor say something on who is to receive Communion and who can’t. It is in the Missal, but some don’t even open the book. I have talked to my pastor and he said that I did my part in letting her, my sister, know not to receive for she is not in a state of grace or a Catholic and if she still does what can I do?

I understand your thinking for I too feel torn at times between standing up for God or feeling like your “judging others”.
 
We had a seminarian come to our church and he gave the homily during one of the masses. He talked about disrespect and lack of reverence towards the Eucharist. He said that he was giving Communion to a teenager during mass and when he said,“The Body of Christ,” the boy, instead of saying amen, said “whatever.”
Also, during the mass, other teenagers tend to talk a lot and have their cellphones out and I just want to pray.
I am quite worried about my generation.
 
LtPaint said:
We had a seminarian come to our church and he gave the homily during one of the masses. He talked about disrespect and lack of reverence towards the Eucharist. He said that he was giving Communion to a teenager during mass and when he said,“The Body of Christ,” the boy, instead of saying amen, said **“whatever.” **
Also, during the mass, other teenagers tend to talk a lot and have their cellphones out and I just want to pray.
I am quite worried about my generation.
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Amazing! Do they deny communion in this instance? That is outrageous.

I went to one church where the teens were going on a retreat after Mass. The priest asked them all to stand and be acknowledged, and there was one teen standing that was chomping on a big wad of gum and wearing a revealing T-shirt that said ‘69’ all over the front of it.
 
LtPaint said:
We had a seminarian come to our church and he gave the homily during one of the masses. He talked about disrespect and lack of reverence towards the Eucharist. He said that he was giving Communion to a teenager during mass and when he said,“The Body of Christ,” the boy, instead of saying amen, said “whatever.”
Also, during the mass, other teenagers tend to talk a lot and have their cellphones out and I just want to pray.
I am quite worried about my generation.
Click to expand...
It is not just the teens. At my church, most of the moms I know are on birth control. When I was talking to one who was thinking of having a tubal ligation after the birth of her third child, I told her that it was against Church teachings and she should use Natural Family Planning. When she said it didn’t work and I said I have been using it for 8 years and no pregnancy, she changed that story. I can’t have anymore due to physical reasons, but God has blessed me with one child who is now 8. Anyway, she than said, “Everyone is doing it, what does it matter.” I just said, “Not everyone.” But you know, quite a few people are using birth control, married and unmarried and than they receive Communion. So this age group I am speaking about is my age group of the 40’s. I just think that overall, people are forgetting to be reverent in the church and during Mass. At our church, we have some woman come in and speak to the Confirmation class, mostly 8th graders, and told them all that they don’t need to genuflect before the Tabernacle anymore. She also told them not to hold hands during the Lord’s prayer, I agree with that one but not for her reason, because they will “sexually excite the person next to them.” :eek: I was surprised to hear that one. So you see, it is everywhere.

It all starts with no reverence towards the Eucharist and once that goes, we are like the protestant churches and no different. Many misunderstand ecumenism and think that we have to sacrifice what we believe as Catholics. That we have to fit in with the other denominations. The Eucharist/ the Real Presence is what set us apart.
 
I think we had around 600 people who made their first Holy Communion and Confirmation this weekend.

1st the Bishop gave permission for the priest to help with Confirmation,he did half while the Bishop did the other half. I think it was done this way at every Mass (spanish and english). I guess they can do that.

Then because there were so many people, the priest had to come out ,before Mass began, twice to tell people ssssshhhhhh.

Then the Mass began.

And the talking never stopped.In front and in back of us. A mother who talked to her son the entire time. Two senior men talked about tools and hepa filters non stop two rows behind us. Then the children behind me and the family in front of me kept calling to each other.Children running through the back during the consecration, on tile it echos.

I just kept my hands together and my eyes shut in prayer and kept asking for forgiveness for those around us and for myself. I was trying not to be so angry. I even thought maybe I shouldn’t receive Jesus because of how I felt. Then on my way back to my seat a couple that we know grabbed me by my arm to say hello as they were going down to receive. And another stopped my son in-law on the way down to receive stopped him in line and said “Hey what are you doing here?” He responded with “It’s Mass?!”

We have five children and our son in-law to be that makes 8 and from the 8 year old all the way to my husband we understood that some of these people rarely if at all make it to Mass.They don’t know any better. They don’t understand whats going on. So I pray for them and ask for God to forgive them,and myself.

Another thing, our family always dresses for Mass. So our boys are in ties and slacks. People kept congratulating them on making their first Holy Communion.Our boys kept having to explain that they always dress like this.😛
 
StaceRaft said:
I am currently struggling with an issue regarding people who insist on talking thru the Mass or other sacramental rites. My son had his first communion this past Saturday and I was awestruck at the behavior of some people. During Holy Communion while on the kneeling rail, someone actually disturbed my prayer because they wanted to get a photo when they were specifically told to stay in their seats throughout the service. Then after I received communion and was praying on the kneeling rail (while communion was still in process) another member of the same family was standing up talking to someone 2 pews away while I waited patiently for her to sit down so that I could resume praying. I finally put the kneeling rail down again and then started to pray at which point she now started sayin ‘excuse me’ ‘excuse me’, so I got up again and let her through. I was angry at this person. The time after receiving communion is very sacred to me. What I would like to know is this…Do I simply stay where I am until I am finished praying? Do I say something like, Maa’m would you please sit down so that I may pray? Or do I do nothing and let them violate the sanctity of the sacrament as they walk in and out while people are trying to pray?
At Mass on Sunday the gentleman behind me talked throughout the entire mass. I am morally torn between feeling like I am ‘judging others’ and not ‘standing up for God’ in his own house. Any advice would be appreciated greatly.:confused:
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well first of all you should never let anyone make you feel that you are not in communion with the Lord. it would be best to keep your mind on the Lord when you receive Communion, i know it can be hard but you should try that first. something that i have noticed is that if you see the person outside the church that has been disrespectful to the Lord and to others in Mass then it would be no harm to be polite in asking them to be more respectful that they are disrupting people when they are talking in Mass. something that happens to me a lot is that when i am trying to pray after mass is that people are talking loudly because mass is over and they start walking and shouting sometimes and it can be very disturbing, so i feel that its best to inform them, after mass and outside the church, that they should try to be more respectful when others are trying to pray. its not judging its just educating people that, sometimes just dont know they are doing something wrong in the first place.but if you do say anything to these people, be sure to be careful in your words, and not use judging comments.
 
Sit in the middle of the pews, then you don’t have to move. 😉

Get deep in prayer…so deep that you don’t hear them.

What is one to do? There’s always going to be irreverance, and unless the priest decides to crack down on the things that he has some control over, like gum chewing, pictures, etc.

Sad but true. Personally, I take the opportunity to pray for them, even thought it’s frustrating sometimes to me.
 
I can tell you my experience
we announce many times during the parent meetings no photos, no video of any kind allowed during Mass, please inform your relatives and guests of this firm policy. It is in writing on all the parent info sheets.

We announce it again to each family individually when they arrive. for instance last weekend I told one lady who had her video camera ready to put it away until after Mass when father poses with the children for pictures. as I led the children up for communion I saw she had moved to the other side of church and was filming away, blocking the communion line on that side. (we have the children sitting all on one side so they receive from Father).

she did this deliberately. fortunately I caught the eye of an usher who escorted her back to her seat, but he should have confiscated the camera, she was still filming when I returned from my own communion.

IMO the roots of this problem is the “my child is special” philosophy that dominates our society, and its correlate “everyone else is chopped liver”
 
Newbie2 said:
Sit in the middle of the pews, then you don’t have to move. 😉

Get deep in prayer…so deep that you don’t hear them.

me.
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does not matter where you kneel, somebody is going to shove you until you move.

does not matter how deeply immersed you are in prayer in the most sacred times of the Mass, somebody is going to keep shoving until you move.
 
nana3 said:
It is not just the teens. At my church, most of the moms I know are on birth control. When I was talking to one who was thinking of having a tubal ligation after the birth of her third child, I told her that it was against Church teachings and she should use Natural Family Planning. When she said it didn’t work and I said I have been using it for 8 years and no pregnancy, she changed that story. I can’t have anymore due to physical reasons, but God has blessed me with one child who is now 8. Anyway, she than said, “Everyone is doing it, what does it matter.” I just said, “Not everyone.” But you know, quite a few people are using birth control, married and unmarried and than they receive Communion. So this age group I am speaking about is my age group of the 40’s. I just think that overall, people are forgetting to be reverent in the church and during Mass. At our church, we have some woman come in and speak to the Confirmation class, mostly 8th graders, and told them all that they don’t need to genuflect before the Tabernacle anymore. She also told them not to hold hands during the Lord’s prayer, I agree with that one but not for her reason, because they will “sexually excite the person next to them.” :eek: I was surprised to hear that one. So you see, it is everywhere.

It all starts with no reverence towards the Eucharist and once that goes, we are like the protestant churches and no different. Many misunderstand ecumenism and think that we have to sacrifice what we believe as Catholics. That we have to fit in with the other denominations. The Eucharist/ the Real Presence is what set us apart.
Click to expand...
We have a priest in our diocese who did a talk on confession. He says what he has observed is that many folks have become comfortable with their sin. He says he knows this is true because in the confessional, people may confess what they know is a sin but attempt to justify it by saying how “at peace” they are even though.
Our parish pastor is a very touchy feely person who doesnt want to upset anyone. He is not balanced between being loving and preaching firmly the truth.
Our associate does not want to be here and his own belief in the eucharist could possibly be argued.
I remember as a child hearing about a close personal relationship with Jesus and how that was thought of as being “holy roller”. 12 years of attending a Catholic school, never was I taught this. Years later as an adult with a hunger for truth, I learn the Catholic church is exactly about a close personal relationship with Jesus.
We need to pray for the desire to know Jesus. We need more people who know the faith and live it daily to go out and evangelize. We need to demand from the clergy that they not sugarcoat the truth but be the shepherds they vowed to be.
 
The devil sure does work hard, especially after receiving the Eucharist. Like another poster said pray for the people that are being disruptive. Pray and ask for the strength to overcome these distractions that take away from Jesus during this blessed sacrament. Try to stop worrying about what others are doing and to focus on God. I used to get angry and annoyed but I remember that at Mass my venial sins were forgiven, during confession all of my sins were forgiven as bad as they were. If God could forgive ME why shouldn’t I forgive these others and move past it. Why waste any effort in being angry with them? Pray for them. Let this become another opportunity to show God how much I love him.
 
PBP said:
We have a priest in our diocese who did a talk on confession. He says what he has observed is that many folks have become comfortable with their sin. He says he knows this is true because in the confessional, people may confess what they know is a sin but attempt to justify it by saying how “at peace” they are even though.
Our parish pastor is a very touchy feely person who doesnt want to upset anyone. He is not balanced between being loving and preaching firmly the truth.
Our associate does not want to be here and his own belief in the eucharist could possibly be argued.
I remember as a child hearing about a close personal relationship with Jesus and how that was thought of as being “holy roller”. 12 years of attending a Catholic school, never was I taught this. Years later as an adult with a hunger for truth, I learn the Catholic church is exactly about a close personal relationship with Jesus.
We need to pray for the desire to know Jesus. We need more people who know the faith and live it daily to go out and evangelize. We need to demand from the clergy that they not sugarcoat the truth but be the shepherds they vowed to be.
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I agree with you!!! Amen to that!👍
 
I had to deal with the same behavior from children and adults alike at my youngest daughter’s First Communion last Saturday.
The worst behavior I have ever seen was when the same daughter was being baptized. The ceremony took place after Mass, and there were about 7or 8 babies being baptized. While I and my family were trying to show ther reverence this Sacrament demands, a woman in front of me actually STOOD on her chair to get a better angle for her videotaping, and talking in a loud voice. I was so angry, it ruined my entire day. It’s taken a LOT of prayer to let that go.
 
margretto said:
The devil sure does work hard, especially after receiving the Eucharist. Like another poster said pray for the people that are being disruptive. Pray and ask for the strength to overcome these distractions that take away from Jesus during this blessed sacrament. Try to stop worrying about what others are doing and to focus on God. I used to get angry and annoyed but I remember that at Mass my venial sins were forgiven, during confession all of my sins were forgiven as bad as they were. If God could forgive ME why shouldn’t I forgive these others and move past it. Why waste any effort in being angry with them? Pray for them. Let this become another opportunity to show God how much I love him.
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Thank you for that reminder. I find it difficult to keep those sorts of things in mind. It is frustrating, but anger and frustration don’t usually get me the things I need/want.

God bless,
Nicole
 
I cant help but think that the same people who have a lack of reverence at mass themselves get upset over small children at mass.
 
margretto said:
The devil sure does work hard, especially after receiving the Eucharist. Like another poster said pray for the people that are being disruptive. Pray and ask for the strength to overcome these distractions that take away from Jesus during this blessed sacrament. Try to stop worrying about what others are doing and to focus on God. I used to get angry and annoyed but I remember that at Mass my venial sins were forgiven, during confession all of my sins were forgiven as bad as they were. If God could forgive ME why shouldn’t I forgive these others and move past it. Why waste any effort in being angry with them? Pray for them. Let this become another opportunity to show God how much I love him.
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This is very well said. Satan is always throwing distractions out there to short circuit one’s relationship with God. He is the father of lies, and he tries to steal our joy.

Great comment on forgiveness as well.
 
margretto said:
The devil sure does work hard, especially after receiving the Eucharist. Like another poster said pray for the people that are being disruptive. Pray and ask for the strength to overcome these distractions that take away from Jesus during this blessed sacrament. Try to stop worrying about what others are doing and to focus on God. I used to get angry and annoyed but I remember that at Mass my venial sins were forgiven, during confession all of my sins were forgiven as bad as they were. If God could forgive ME why shouldn’t I forgive these others and move past it. Why waste any effort in being angry with them? Pray for them. Let this become another opportunity to show God how much I love him.
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I agree with you margetto. I don’t think anyone of us should get angry and I do pray for those who are distracting, but sometimes we do need to correct them especially if they are loud. For example, I have a niece, 21 yr. old, who went to Mass one time with one of my sisters and her kids. Sitting in back of them were three teens talking about their time at the mall and they were saying things like “for sure,” “oh my God” and it was throughout the Mass. My niece prayed for them but more people were turning their hands to these girls. My niece turned around and softly told them to please be quiet for it was the time of the Consecration. They than proceeded to say, “Oh my God, did that girl tell us to be quiet.” At that point an older lady turned around and said, “Yes, she did and we would all appreciate it if you are quiet for we want to listen.” They were all shocked, but the older lady looked at my niece and both smiled. It was quiet during the Consecration time. The girls did not apologize, but hopefully they learned that they were being rude and distracting others. So yes, sometimes we need to pray for the person or persons and sometimes we need to say something and pray for them as well.
 
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