Reverent silence before and after mass

[Claire_from_DE]

What I remember from the 50’s and 60’s was the prayerful silence in a Catholic church. I’ve been a member of a rural parish with two small churches for the last 36 years. It seems to me in the last 25 years people have been getting louder and louder in church. You can’t genuflect leaving church because after mass everyone moves into the aisle, faces the door, and begins to chatter without lowering their voices.

I’ve spoken and/or written to the last three pastors about this. One didn’t reply at all and two felt that this indicated a feeling of fellowship. They don’t think this indicates a lack of respect.

I’ve seen this in many other churches. Yes, even following the one EF mass I went to. I think this behavior erodes our faith in the real presence and sets a terrible example for children. There’s only one priest I know of in my diocese who talks to his people about the importance of quiet in church and puts up signs requesting it. Almost nobody stays for a short time of thanksgiving after mass, just myself and one or two other women.

In this thread I’d like to find out if anyone has suggestions for effectively advocating for a respectful silence in church.

 

[water]

I feel guilty myself for doing that ever since I attend American churhc. I am not blaming on anyone but myself for being influenced by others. However, sometimes, it is hard that someone come up and try to ask me something or even give a hug; I don’t know what to do at the moment.

When I was still in my country, Vietnam, about 16 years ago, we didn’t even say hi, smile, or anything. As soon as I had my foot inside the church, I must be in silent.

I guess culture plays a big part of it.

 

[CreosMary]

This will be a generational change of the reform of the reform and we must thank God for Papa Benedict XVI for this.
As many clergy retire, the new seminarians are filled with the love of the Church and her traditions.
As for immediate relief, some patience, the Holy Mass is still the Holy Mass.
Maybe ask the Priest to hang a ‘silence please’ sign
The best I have found is setting an example with ourselves.
I never talk in Church (Only Pray), the sign of peace is only for the immediate surrounding 3-4 people, and if someone asks me something whilst in Church, I purse my lips on bended knees and point to the Tabernacle.
Hope this helps

 

[nice2000]

What I remember from the 50’s and 60’s was the prayerful silence in a Catholic church. I’ve been a member of a rural parish with two small churches for the last 36 years. It seems to me in the last 25 years people have been getting louder and louder in church. You can’t genuflect leaving church because after mass everyone moves into the aisle, faces the door, and begins to chatter without lowering their voices.

I’ve spoken and/or written to the last three pastors about this. One didn’t reply at all and two felt that this indicated a feeling of fellowship. They don’t think this indicates a lack of respect.

I’ve seen this in many other churches. Yes, even following the one EF mass I went to. I think this behavior erodes our faith in the real presence and sets a terrible example for children. There’s only one priest I know of in my diocese who talks to his people about the importance of quiet in church and puts up signs requesting it. Almost nobody stays for a short time of thanksgiving after mass, just myself and one or two other women.

In this thread I’d like to find out if anyone has suggestions for effectively advocating for a respectful silence in church.

Hi Claire,

I’ve noticed that too.

I always try to stay a lil longer after mass to meditate on at least five mystery’s of the Rosary. Sometimes i’m not able to concentrate too well because of all the background (loud) noise. Then again my 7 year old son gets a lil impatient at times and is ready to go.

I’m learning to block it (loud noise)…slowly but surely though.

I do think that out of respect, the congregation should move out to the vestibule (hall entrance) to fellowship afterwards.

That’s my opinion, but I doubt if anyone would listen to me in regards of the above suggestion. It would have to come from the Priest. He should maybe announce the noise level after mass and show respect for those who choose to stay and meditate on our Lord.

 

[water]

I hope we will have the silent moment again here in churches in America, but let me put a little posivite note about this: at least some of them still hang around at the church; there are folks who couldn’t wait to get out before the mass is over.

 

[Ann_Stanton]

At St. Patrick’s Cathedral (Fort Worth diocese), the pastor had a 1/2 page section in the church bulletin outlining correct behavior/ettiquette inside a church. Many people are not aware they are talking loudly because of hearing impairments and/or the noise level of every day life. I attend one parish where I am one of the youngest (in my 50’s) and many people talk loudly without realizing it.

 

[Claire_from_DE]

I guess to be effective it has to come from the priest. I’m not what you would call a traditionalist but I think this is a very negative result in the U.S. of the emphasis in the seminaries after Vatican II on the need for ‘community’. I think some priests think talking in church makes the parish more friendly and welcoming. My pastors point out that our church building is small but I see the same behavior in big churches where there are large entrance halls but people still talk in the church.

 

[lizaanne]

In this thread I’d like to find out if anyone has suggestions for effectively advocating for a respectful silence in church.

At our current parish it is always silent inside the Church so it is never a problem. At our previous parish it was HORRIBLE - before and after Mass there would be people just standing around talking as if they were at a barbecue, kids running up and down the aisles, it was just maddening. I felt like a total outsider if I was kneeling in prayer before or after Mass.

The way I stopped (most) people from bothering me after Mass was to kneel immediately after the end of the last hymn and make a prayer of thanksgiving (something I still do, it turned into a nice practice ). Most people will leave you alone, though the noise may be a bit distracting to prayer. Believe it or not I still had occasional people come to me and tap me on the shoulder WHILE I’M KNEELING IN PRAYER to chat with me!!! Rudeness knows no bounds.

~Liza

 

[I_Believe]

The responsibility rests on the priests.

One can ask the pastor to speak to the flock about this. If they won’t, one either has to put up with it or find a parish where it’s not a problem.

You can’t help someone who won’t help themselves. Or doesn’t have faith in the Real Presence.

JMO

 

[I_Believe]

This will be a generational change of the reform of the reform and we must thank God for Papa Benedict XVI for this.
As many clergy retire, the new seminarians are filled with the love of the Church and her traditions.
As for immediate relief, some patience, the Holy Mass is still the Holy Mass.
Maybe ask the Priest to hang a ‘silence please’ sign
The best I have found is setting an example with ourselves.
I never talk in Church (Only Pray), the sign of peace is only for the immediate surrounding 3-4 people, and if someone asks me something whilst in Church, I purse my lips on bended knees and point to the Tabernacle.
Hope this helps

I wish the SSPX would see the part I bolded and accept it. It’s so crystal clear that Pope BXVI is planting the seeds. We have to water them with trust.

Thanks for posting

 

[Claire_from_DE]

At our current parish it is always silent inside the Church so it is never a problem. At our previous parish it was HORRIBLE - before and after Mass there would be people just standing around talking as if they were at a barbecue, kids running up and down the aisles, it was just maddening. I felt like a total outsider if I was kneeling in prayer before or after Mass.

The way I stopped (most) people from bothering me after Mass was to kneel immediately after the end of the last hymn and make a prayer of thanksgiving (something I still do, it turned into a nice practice ). Most people will leave you alone, though the noise may be a bit distracting to prayer. Believe it or not I still had occasional people come to me and tap me on the shoulder WHILE I’M KNEELING IN PRAYER to chat with me!!! Rudeness knows no bounds.

~Liza

Yes, same with me. I don’t want to act holier than the other people but I feel bad nobody’s paying any attention to Him.

 

[Claire_from_DE]

The responsibility rests on the priests.

One can ask the pastor to speak to the flock about this. If they won’t, one either has to put up with it or find a parish where it’s not a problem.

You can’t help someone who won’t help themselves. Or doesn’t have faith in the Real Presence.

JMO

Some priests and people do have faith in the real presence but they say things like ‘we are ministering to others this way’ and ‘God likes to see us talking to our neighbors’.

I feel its like going to a party and talking to everybody and ignoring the host.

I’ll just try again with the next pastor.

 

[markadm]

Write to the Bishop, Claire!

 

[kitkatty]

What I remember from the 50’s and 60’s was the prayerful silence in a Catholic church. I’ve been a member of a rural parish with two small churches for the last 36 years. It seems to me in the last 25 years people have been getting louder and louder in church. You can’t genuflect leaving church because after mass everyone moves into the aisle, faces the door, and begins to chatter without lowering their voices.

I’ve spoken and/or written to the last three pastors about this. One didn’t reply at all and two felt that this indicated a feeling of fellowship. They don’t think this indicates a lack of respect.

I’ve seen this in many other churches. Yes, even following the one EF mass I went to. I think this behavior erodes our faith in the real presence and sets a terrible example for children. There’s only one priest I know of in my diocese who talks to his people about the importance of quiet in church and puts up signs requesting it. Almost nobody stays for a short time of thanksgiving after mass, just myself and one or two other women.

In this thread I’d like to find out if anyone has suggestions for effectively advocating for a respectful silence in church.

I am a displaced Byzantine Catholic without a parish remotly nearby so I attend a Latin parish that is also in a rural area with two churches. Yes, the problem seems to be becoming worse as far as I am concerned and this after the priest has spoken firmly to everyone regarding this issue directly after Mass and yet it continues. He even suggested if they want to socialize to go down to the basement and told them if they feel like talking, they should talk to the Lord. I don`t understand this disrespect either.

 

[Graing]

Hi Claire,

Try not to let it get to you. I completely avoid the traffic jam now. I stay and pray after mass - typically Pope Leo XIII’s original prayer to St. Michael, sometimes a decade of the rosary. By the time you are done with your prayers, there’s lots of room in the aisle to genuflect and show respect to Christ

Sometimes the loud conversations before mass annoy me as well as I try to pray. I suppose you can try (I have tried with mixed results ) to look at it as a little penance or challenge to overcome and hone your focus on the Lord.

And as someone else said… if the priest is not responding, you can contact the bishop.

 

[rlg94086]

I guess to be effective it has to come from the priest. I’m not what you would call a traditionalist but I think this is a very negative result in the U.S. of the emphasis in the seminaries after Vatican II on the need for ‘community’. I think some priests think talking in church makes the parish more friendly and welcoming. My pastors point out that our church building is small but I see the same behavior in big churches where there are large entrance halls but people still talk in the church.

I would agree with you.

The very first thing I noticed when we came to our current parish two years ago was the silence, especially before Mass. As a convert, I had never experienced it before at our previous parishes in California, Colorado and Oregon. Our priest, one of the young ones CreosMary refers to, had been at our parish almost four years and instituted a lot of changes - silence, vestments, prayer, liturgy, etc.

st-thomascamas.org/church.htm

 

[lizaanne]

Yes, same with me. I don’t want to act holier than the other people but I feel bad nobody’s paying any attention to Him.

What is worse - to act more holy or more worldly?

Don’t worry about it - you are doing the right thing.

~Liza

 

[Ohwesty]

There is something to be said for “sacred space.” If people want to socialize after Mass then let them move to the back of church, preferably to the vestibule. Leave the nave and the sanctuary for sacred purposes.

One of my pet peeves is people gathering halfway up the middle aisle, or worse, gathering in front, where people are kneeling and trying to pray before the tabernacle. This happens when Mass is over. Before Mass begins it is even more annoying because people talk in the pews, and many of us want to use that time preparing for the Mass.

That said, I’m not going to be fanatical about it. If Mrs. So-and-so across the aisle smiles and waves at me, I smile and wave back. A little charity goes a long way.

It also wouldn’t hurt to have more blessed silence DURING the Mass as well. That’s a big problem in my church. Our choir director sees silence of any kind as “dead space” that needs to be filled with music. But silence serves as both a preparation for, and a reflection on, the Sacred Mysteries received.

• Westy

 

[puzzleannie]

I am somewhat ambivalent on this topic, since I too miss the reverent silence, and on our pastor’s express wishes endeavor to maintain it but invariable somebody rap’s on my shoulder while I have my head down after communion just to say “hi”, or asks a question, or has some urgent problem that can’t seem to wait. When I motion them to go outside before we converse they get all huffy, and it is very easy to offend people down here by not responding to a greeting. I have been criticized many times by many people for not returning a greeting in church, and am generally regarded as a cold person (as is the pastor) because I do not converse or return greeting in church, but wait until we are outside. in fact it has even come up on my performance evaluations.

 

[rlg94086]

I am somewhat ambivalent on this topic, since I too miss the reverent silence, and on our pastor’s express wishes endeavor to maintain it but invariable somebody rap’s on my shoulder while I have my head down after communion just to say “hi”, or asks a question, or has some urgent problem that can’t seem to wait. When I motion them to go outside before we converse they get all huffy, and it is very easy to offend people down here by not responding to a greeting. I have been criticized many times by many people for not returning a greeting in church, and am generally regarded as a cold person (as is the pastor) because I do not converse or return greeting in church, but wait until we are outside. in fact it has even come up on my performance evaluations.

Y’all have parishioner performance evaluations?