"Reversion" and confession

[detles]

It seems that, if you were confirmed in the Catholic Church, in order to come into full communion with the church again, you only need to go to confession?

My question is what that confession would entail. Let’s say somebody has not had a Catholic confession in 25 years. Would you need to confess every sin you can remember that you committed in that time? (Because, that would potentially be one really long confession…) If you had confessed sins privately to God, would you need to confess those again?

I suppose I’m just thinking that I could, in theory, keep a priest busy for a couple of hours just confessing every sin I committed this week, much less every sin I remember committing over the last 2-1/2 decades!

 

[CB_Catholic]

It seems that, if you were confirmed in the Catholic Church, in order to come into full communion with the church again, you only need to go to confession?

My question is what that confession would entail. Let’s say somebody has not had a Catholic confession in 25 years. Would you need to confess every sin you can remember that you committed in that time? (Because, that would potentially be one really long confession…) If you had confessed sins privately to God, would you need to confess those again?

I suppose I’m just thinking that I could, in theory, keep a priest busy for a couple of hours just confessing every sin I committed this week, much less every sin I remember committing over the last 2-1/2 decades!

Just go to confession, tell the priest how long it’s been, and ask him to help you. You really only need to confess the mortal sins. The priest will help you, and will be glad to help. Of course, if you haven’t been to Mass in 25 years or so, you will need to confess that!

 

[Wesrock]

You try to confess number and kind. You don’t need to go into detail in every specific circumstance. If it’s more than you can count/remember, some type of recurring thing, over a specific period of time in your past, let the priest know that. I wouldn’t expect him to drill you for exactitude for so long a period.

It can be helpful to draft a list for you to bring with you, though there’s also wisdom in not writing a list, in case it falls into someone else’s hands.

After so long an absence, it might be best to try to schedule an appointment for confession. Some parishes do allow confession “by appointment” as a normal thing. If you can’t get an appointment, I’d try to get to the confessional at the start of confession time, maybe early enough to be first in line.

A lot of parishes offer confession times right before a mass starts. If you enter with that long of a confession ten to five minutes before mass, the priest might feel rushed and/or tell you to schedule an appointment. (It’s unfortunate, but it happens, and they do have responsibility to carry out the mass, too). I would try to find a time that’s not just before mass, so the priest at least doesn’t have that looming over him.

I don’t mean to make it so complicated. Don’t let scheduling cause you to procrastinate or stress, but try to be considerate to the priest’s time and schedule when deciding when to go. It’ll probably take longer than five minutes.

 

[Monica4316]

It seems that, if you were confirmed in the Catholic Church, in order to come into full communion with the church again, you only need to go to confession?

yes

My question is what that confession would entail. Let’s say somebody has not had a Catholic confession in 25 years. Would you need to confess every sin you can remember that you committed in that time? (Because, that would potentially be one really long confession…) If you had confessed sins privately to God, would you need to confess those again?

I suppose I’m just thinking that I could, in theory, keep a priest busy for a couple of hours just confessing every sin I committed this week, much less every sin I remember committing over the last 2-1/2 decades!

It’s only necessary to confess mortal sins… if a person has not been to Confession in a while, they need to confess every mortal sin they can remember (say what the sin is, and how many times approximately) for the Confession to be valid. I think it affects validity because remembering it and not saying it shows lack of true repentance, and it acts against the nature of Confession which is like a tribunal where you accuse yourself (and are then forgiven of course). They don’t need to say venial sins. If a person goes to Confession regularly, it is really recommended to say venial sins, and most people do, and hopefully it gets to the point where the person doesn’t have mortal sins anymore

If you forget a mortal sin, it’s still forgiven, but if you remember it later you should say it in your next Confession.

Yes, you’d need to confess anything you told God privately, because the ordinary way for mortal sins to be forgiven is through Sacramental Confession. Mortal sins can be forgiven before confession if a person has something called perfect contrition. This is being sorry ONLY out of love for God, not just for fear of hell, and it’s an extremely pure contrition that is really a grace. It’s hard to know if we’ve truly had it perhaps, and it’s a gift, not common. In that case, God forgives the sin right away, BUT we still need to confess the sin to a priest if we’re able to, (as in if the person is not dying), because that shows true repentance, and because we might be mistaken about having perfect contrition… in the ordinary way of things, mortal sins are forgiven through Confession, where God forgives through the priest. In any case, you’d need to say all the mortal sins you can remember, and if you want you can even say venial sins too - for example, more habitual ones.

For confession, perfect contrition is not necessary, it’s enough to be sorry out of fear of hell, though we can aim for perfect contrition. What is necessary is being sorry for the sin from a spiritual reason (like offending God, not just because of an earthly consequence) and intending to not do it again, and of course saying what the sin is. You don’t need to go into a lot of detail. The only details that need to be added is if they change the type of sin. For example… Joe hit someone. It makes a difference if he hit his mother, wife, a priest, or his neighbor. He’d probably need to specify. If it was something against a parent it would also be a sin of disrespect for parents, if it’s against a priest it would be sacrilege, etc. But details that don’t change the nature of the sin don’t need to be said.

Sometimes a person might not be sure what is mortal or venial, in that case it’s perfectly alright to ask the priest.

It’s fine for a first Confession in a while to be really long. That’s not something to worry about. When I became Catholic I was there for a while! Once a person starts going regularly, of course they’d be shorter, but I’ve had times where I would take longer because there would be more discussion about my sins. For a first Confession in a while, it’s good to make an appointment with a priest simply because if you come during scheduled Confession time, if there’s a line up there might not be much time.

Hope that helps!

 

[Joe_5859]

I always tell people that God does not obligate us to do that which is impossible. Most people do not have photographic memories such that they can easily call to mind every single sin they committed over the course of decades. That’s okay.

As has been said, the Church requires that we confess number and kind of mortal sins that we have committed. Mortal sins are those that are (1) grave sins committed with (2) full knowledge and (3) complete consent. If a sin is venial, we do not have to confess it (though, of course, you can do so—though it might be wise to set those aside for a first Confession after a lengthy hiatus).

However, even here you just have to do your best. For example, if you struggled with the sin of viewing pornography and you lost count of the number of times you committed this sin, you don’t have to lament that you’re not sure if it was 998 times or 999 times. You give your best approximation (many times a week for years, or once or twice a month for a couple years, etc.).

The main thing you want to avoid is deliberately withholding sins you know are serious. You don’t want to lie to the priest saying, “Oh I did that once or twice” when you actually did it every day for 5 years. Nor do you want to say, “Well, I won’t mention that sin, because I don’t want Father to think I’m a horrible person.” Just be as open and honest as you can be.

The bottom line is, if you are nervous or unsure, just ask the priest! They will help you through it. They’ve (quite literally in most cases) heard it all before.

As others have suggested, making an appointment is often a good idea for such Confessions simply because they might take longer than usual. Don’t let that keep you away, though, if you’d prefer to just go at the regularly scheduled time.

Another good time is if your parish has some sort of Lenten or Advent Penance services. In the areas I have lived, this has been common for the priests in several nearby parishes to do a sort of “tour” during Lent and Advent whereby they all hear Confessions at each other’s parishes. That way, you have sometimes 8–12 priests all hearing Confessions at the same time. So if you hold up one priest for a little longer than usual, it’s not as disruptive. Though, of course, I’d advocate going to Confession as soon as possible rather than waiting until Advent. But you have to move at your own pace.

God bless!

 

[1Lord1Faith]

It seems that, if you were confirmed in the Catholic Church, in order to come into full communion with the church again, you only need to go to confession?

My question is what that confession would entail. Let’s say somebody has not had a Catholic confession in 25 years. Would you need to confess every sin you can remember that you committed in that time? (Because, that would potentially be one really long confession…) If you had confessed sins privately to God, would you need to confess those again?

I suppose I’m just thinking that I could, in theory, keep a priest busy for a couple of hours just confessing every sin I committed this week, much less every sin I remember committing over the last 2-1/2 decades!

A Catholic who hasn’t been to confession in 25 years is not necessarily out of full communion with the Church, and I would think most are not.

That being said, I think most priests would be happy as a duck in water to hear the confession of a penitent who hasn’t been to confession in 25 years. And it need not take more than 5 or ten minutes. There is much more to this, but it’s justifiable to say that your assumption about a long confession is a misconception.

 

[misstherese]

I’d say try to remember every sin and write it down. (yes even venial) Mortal sins you’d say the number of times you committed it; if you can’t remember the number, say you don’t know the number. Also say the kind. Don’t leave any sin out. If you forget any, that’s okay because they will still be forgiven. It’s very important to make a good confession because who knows, it could be your last!

Just sit for awhile and try to think over the sins you committed and write them down and go to confession.

Here’s a good little guide I’ve used before: scborromeo.org/confess.htm

 

[Crusaderbear]

When I returned after about 50 years since my last confession (about 25 years not attending regularly) I got about that far into my cofession aand the monsignor said, “are you back for good ?” I said yes, and that was it!

Have the big things ready to tell him, dates aren’t that big of a deal, and be ready to explain what brought you back, he’ll do the rest…

Believe it or not, returning Catholics are quite the range now!

The important thing is to be truly sorry for having sinned and truly plan to ‘Sin no more!’

 

[St_Francis]

If you think your confession will be long, make an appointment. That’s what I did, and then I didn’t have to worry about the line or the time or anything.

 

[Angela77]

It seems that, if you were confirmed in the Catholic Church, in order to come into full communion with the church again, you only need to go to confession?

My question is what that confession would entail. Let’s say somebody has not had a Catholic confession in 25 years. Would you need to confess every sin you can remember that you committed in that time? (Because, that would potentially be one really long confession…) If you had confessed sins privately to God, would you need to confess those again?

I suppose I’m just thinking that I could, in theory, keep a priest busy for a couple of hours just confessing every sin I committed this week, much less every sin I remember committing over the last 2-1/2 decades!

The Holy Spirit is stirring in your heart, friend. The fact that you desire to go back to the Confessional means you’ve got some serious grace going on right now! Thanks be to God!

Confession is so incredible. I recently started going on a more regular/frequent schedule than I had in the past. The fruits that come from that sacrament are just incredible. Absolutely incredible.

To answer your questions… You need to confess every mortal sin you remember (but if there are venial ones you want to confess too, go for it!). You can learn more about what constitutes a mortal sin here- beginningcatholic.com/mortal-sin. Basically, to commit a mortal sin, you have to have done something grave that you knew was grave and that you freely chose to do anyway. You’ll also need to confess the sins you’ve already privately confessed to God.

As others have suggested, I’d make an appointment with a priest so that you don’t have to feel self-conscious about others waiting in line. Some priests are better confessors (i.e., term for a priest hearing a Confession) than others; if you have some Catholic friends in your area, you may want to ask for recommendations. (No matter what priest you go to, though, the sacrament will be valid, and you’ll receive so much grace. Priest, I think, are also very excited to hear from people coming back to the Church. That’s a joyous occasion.)

Another point I want to emphasize is that you shouldn’t stress about this. If you’re worried about accidentally leaving out some sin, don’t be! You can always mention it next time! Just don’t intentionally omit a sin.

Finally, here are a couple other resources that may help–

Examination of Conscience’s from the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops- You can use these to prepare for your Confession. I generally make a written list of my sins as I examine my conscience:
usccb.org/prayer-and-worship/sacraments-and-sacramentals/penance/examinations-of-conscience.cfm

Confession “script,” if you will. The priest will also help you with this:
bustedhalo.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/How-To-Confess1.pdf

God bless you! Going to Confession is scary but it is always SO worth it!

 

[poche]

I have heard stories from priests about hearing confessions after 10 - 20 - 30 years and more.

 

[Irishmom2]

If one has not been to confession in a long time and mentions that to the priest, he will direct and ask what he needs to know. Most are so happy that people have returned, they are not going to have you worry about “numbers,” but more about your genuine contrition.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

It seems that, if you were confirmed in the Catholic Church, in order to come into full communion with the church again, you only need to go to confession?

My question is what that confession would entail. Let’s say somebody has not had a Catholic confession in 25 years. Would you need to confess every sin you can remember that you committed in that time? (Because, that would potentially be one really long confession…) If you had confessed sins privately to God, would you need to confess those again?

I suppose I’m just thinking that I could, in theory, keep a priest busy for a couple of hours just confessing every sin I committed this week, much less every sin I remember committing over the last 2-1/2 decades!

I’ve actually done this. I was away from confession for 18 or 19 years.
If you can remember every sin you might have committed over 25 years then your memory is super duper good or else you were writing them down as you committed them.

As the other person said, you only have to confess the mortal sins, and if it’s a whole series of them like you committed the same mortal sin over 3 years you can just say you did this frequently over 3 years, you don’t have to confess that you did it exactly 54 times or whatever.

I pretty much remembered and confessed the “big stuff”, bad things that I knew for sure were bad with a Capital B, and didn’t sweat the small stuff. This was like 5 or 6 big things. I was in and out of there in 5 minutes and I was so nervous that 5 minutes felt like an hour though the priest was very encouraging and actually sounded happy I had come back (I was expecting to get yelled at).

After that I just went every 2 to 4 weeks and if I happened to remember other past sins that I thought in hindsight were serious, or that I was not sure if they were serious but maybe they could be, I just mentioned them in the next confession I went to.

Just do the best you can and if you go frequently, you’ll sufficiently address all the past big stuff and can focus more and more on going forward in the now.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

I have heard stories from priests about hearing confessions after 10 - 20 - 30 years and more.

I am sure this happens all the time. Plenty of us who have some issue with the Church or drift away when young, come back when we are middle-aged. By that time, the sins that looked so attractive to us at age 25 just look stupid, immature, and maybe we’ve already quit doing them for years because they did not lead to anything good. Plus, people we know and love are starting to die. Nothing like a good dose of mortality to make you think about getting right with the Lord.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

Oh, and with respect to the “appointment” thing: That might work for some people, but I can tell you the LAST thing I wanted to have to do when I decided to come back to church was call up a priest (who was probably busy anyway) and have him make a special appointment just to deal with me and my 20 years worth of sin. If I did that he’d probably also have to see me face to face which I, feeling very self-conscious, did not want. I made a point of driving to a large Cathedral where I knew none of the priests and they didn’t know me and just getting in the 7 am weekday confession line and staying hidden behind the little screen. And getting it overwith as fast as I could.

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

It seems that, if you were confirmed in the Catholic Church, in order to come into full communion with the church again, you only need to go to confession?

My question is what that confession would entail. Let’s say somebody has not had a Catholic confession in 25 years. Would you need to confess every sin you can remember that you committed in that time? (Because, that would potentially be one really long confession…) If you had confessed sins privately to God, would you need to confess those again?

I suppose I’m just thinking that I could, in theory, keep a priest busy for a couple of hours just confessing every sin I committed this week, much less every sin I remember committing over the last 2-1/2 decades!

From what I gather from priests this is incredibly common. I’ve heard the advice to schedule an actual appointment so you have ample time to confess without holding up a line.
Also, you might think the list is long, it probably isn’t that long. I did x a many times… I did y for a while… anything you forget to mention is covered.
Another reason to schedule an actual time is to make a personal connection with the priest so he can help make sure you receive the help you need to become a fully engaged and active member. Since it’s hard to actually say, I’m going to call the parish and schedule a confession, many may not do this. And that’s too bad. You should do it. But if you don’t, if you choose to just go to an offered confession time, that is great too! Just get to confession anyway you can!

 

[Joe_5859]

Oh, and with respect to the “appointment” thing: That might work for some people, but I can tell you the LAST thing I wanted to have to do when I decided to come back to church was call up a priest (who was probably busy anyway) and have him make a special appointment just to deal with me and my 20 years worth of sin. If I did that he’d probably also have to see me face to face which I, feeling very self-conscious, did not want. I made a point of driving to a large Cathedral where I knew none of the priests and they didn’t know me and just getting in the 7 am weekday confession line and staying hidden behind the little screen. And getting it overwith as fast as I could.

Indeed. I have never gone that length of time without going to Confession, but I know that is how I would feel. If it were required that I make an appointment, it would probably end up never happening. I’m also the type to just get to the point and get out. My Confessions average about 90 seconds.

But, I know that some people after such a length of time want to talk a lot and don’t want to feel rushed or that they are holding up the line. That’s why I try to mention both making and appointment and also going at the regular time in my advice in these types of threads. Only the OP can decide which one will work the best for him or her.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

Indeed. I have never gone that length of time without going to Confession, but I know that is how I would feel. If it were required that I make an appointment, it would probably end up never happening. I’m also the type to just get to the point and get out. My Confessions average about 90 seconds.

But, I know that some people after such a length of time want to talk a lot and don’t want to feel rushed or that they are holding up the line. That’s why I try to mention both making and appointment and also going at the regular time in my advice in these types of threads. Only the OP can decide which one will work the best for him or her.

I agree, if you think you will be talking longer than 5 minutes then you should make an appointment so you don’t cause others in line to miss their turns when there’s only a half hour allotted for regular Confessions. I just don’t want anybody to think they HAVE to make an appointment to come back, especially if they’re nervous of confessing and just want to get in and out of there before an anxiety attack sets in.

 

[Faith1960]

When I returned after about 50 years since my last confession (about 25 years not attending regularly) I got about that far into my cofession aand the monsignor said, “are you back for good ?” I said yes, and that was it!

Have the big things ready to tell him, dates aren’t that big of a deal, and be ready to explain what brought you back, he’ll do the rest…

Believe it or not, returning Catholics are quite the range now!

The important thing is to be truly sorry for having sinned and truly plan to ‘Sin no more!’

After leaving the Church for 24 years, I returned 11 years ago and I’m soooooo happy I did!!!