B
Bookcat
Guest
yes I did (in this thread…first post) I was responding to them all…
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B
Bookcat
Guest
Again I am not trying to be “harsh” here…i was responding to your “blunt” post…by being “blunt”…It is not about “rules rules rules” here…it is about truth truth truth…adultery is adultery. Jesus is very serious about this… as has been the Church since the very beginning…just “being honest.” …and blunt…(one need to work with ones diocese to get things right…)
Forgiveness is very much at the heart of the Church…but Jesus says one must “repent” …then one can be forgiven …which includes making changes…rectifying things…
Look I do no know the history of your situation. But CA is certainly a good source…so give them a call on the apologist line…they can help with the details…
Keep seeking to rectify things…
the way of Jesus is a “narrow way”…but it is the way to life!
It is not so much about “rules” as about reality. If one is not married validly…one is not married validly …so the thing to do is recognize this and behave accordingly …and set about getting married validly…
Yes it can take more time then we would like…and can be somewhat painful…but it is a road that needs to be taken…
This is best handled “live” for forum responses can be “short” or “blunt” or miss some point…etc…at least give a call to CA or starts…
And know that we truly care for your good…not trying to be harsh etc…
Do not give up your desire to follow him and rectify these things etc…
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3DOCTORS
Guest
I’m so glad! Lifting you up in prayer this very moment
(and having tears with my heart so full of the gratitude to the Holy Spirit that the things I said were useful to you). :bowdown2: Take care. 
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puzzleannie
Guest
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pablope
Guest
Hi, Anne,
I hope all is well with you…after re-reading your post…it looks like your issue is borne out of frustration of your unresolved situation and this is totally understandable. But keep in mind that God acts in His own mysterious ways, and maybe you are putting in your own, instead of submitting to His will, and trusting in His Divine Providence.
I have a personal situation at home regarding the medical condition of my son and it is a great source of great trial for me and my wife. But, we have not gotten away from Jesus, have not gotten mad, but instead, our prayers have been to surrender to His will and trust…and imploring the Blessed Virgin for her intercession…and even became more fervent in our prayers.
This maybe what Jesus is telling you…put your complete trust in Him…and do not forget
the Blessed Virgin’s help.Blessings…
M
Monica4316
Guest
Anne Teresa, I’m a convert from the evangelical church… I think that the reason it seems to focus on forgiveness is because evangelicals believe that once you decide to believe in Christ, all your sins are forgiven, past, present and future. The Catholic Church teaches that in order for sins to be forgiven we need to repent for them. I know that is more difficult… but I also think that we should always seek the truth, rather than comfort. If we seek truth, we will find comfort in the end. As CS Lewis said. Protestantism IS easier, but that doesn’t matter if it isn’t true. The problem with it is that sometimes there’s presumption of God’s mercy… that’s what OSAS is. It’s also not what Christians have always believed since the early Church. I know it’s difficult to be Catholic sometimes, but that is where we have the Sacraments… also, I’ve actually found that the Catholic church is more accepting of people who have made mistakes or who are still struggling with sin… in some Protestant churches, it is sort of hinted that if you’re a Christian but you are struggling with something, you’re not a “true” Christian. The Catholic Church is made up of many different people. I’ve also found that priests at Confession are not judgemental at all.
I think it’s difficult if you’re in an invalid marriage… have you talked to your priest about what you can do? Is there a way to get it convalidated? Or if you or your husband were married before, to get an annullment?
God bless :hug1:
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Monica4316
Guest
I think the purpose of annullments is not for forgiveness. For example, if a person confesses remarrying, they can receive the Sacraments if they stay celibate. The only way they can stop being celibate with their spouse is if the first marriage is declared null, ie: it was never a valid marriage… because otherwise, they would KEEP ON sinning whenever they have marital relations with their spouse. Does that make sense? the Church DOES forgive this, the first time, when a person confesses it… and without an annullment… but an annullment needs to be there in order for the person to not sin again in the same way. If they can’t get an annullment, they can receive the Sacraments if they are celibate. I know it’s sounds really tough but it’s just because the Church cares about our souls, it’s not out of harshness.
I just read that your husband is the one who remarried… is he a Catholic?
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Bookcat
Guest
**Catechism of the Catholic Church: **
1649 Yet there are some situations in which living together becomes practically impossible for a variety of reasons. In such cases the Church permits the physical separation of the couple and their living apart. The spouses do not cease to be husband and wife before God and so are not free to contract a new union. In this difficult situation, the best solution would be, if possible, reconciliation. The Christian community is called to help these persons live out their situation in a Christian manner and in fidelity to their marriage bond which remains indissoluble.157
1650 Today there are numerous Catholics in many countries who have recourse to civil divorce and contract new civil unions. In fidelity to the words of Jesus Christ - "Whoever divorces his wife and marries another, commits adultery against her; and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery"158 the Church maintains that a new union cannot be recognized as valid, if the first marriage was. If the divorced are remarried civilly, they find themselves in a situation that objectively contravenes God’s law. Consequently, they cannot receive Eucharistic communion as long as this situation persists. For the same reason, they cannot exercise certain ecclesial responsibilities. Reconciliation through the sacrament of Penance can be granted only to those who have repented for having violated the sign of the covenant and of fidelity to Christ, and who are committed to living in complete continence.
1651 Toward Christians who live in this situation, and who often keep the faith and desire to bring up their children in a Christian manner, priests and the whole community must manifest an attentive solicitude, so that they do not consider themselves separated from the Church, in whose life they can and must participate as baptized persons:
vatican.va/archive/catechism/p2s2c3a7.htm#V
1649 Yet there are some situations in which living together becomes practically impossible for a variety of reasons. In such cases the Church permits the physical separation of the couple and their living apart. The spouses do not cease to be husband and wife before God and so are not free to contract a new union. In this difficult situation, the best solution would be, if possible, reconciliation. The Christian community is called to help these persons live out their situation in a Christian manner and in fidelity to their marriage bond which remains indissoluble.157
1650 Today there are numerous Catholics in many countries who have recourse to civil divorce and contract new civil unions. In fidelity to the words of Jesus Christ - "Whoever divorces his wife and marries another, commits adultery against her; and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery"158 the Church maintains that a new union cannot be recognized as valid, if the first marriage was. If the divorced are remarried civilly, they find themselves in a situation that objectively contravenes God’s law. Consequently, they cannot receive Eucharistic communion as long as this situation persists. For the same reason, they cannot exercise certain ecclesial responsibilities. Reconciliation through the sacrament of Penance can be granted only to those who have repented for having violated the sign of the covenant and of fidelity to Christ, and who are committed to living in complete continence.
1651 Toward Christians who live in this situation, and who often keep the faith and desire to bring up their children in a Christian manner, priests and the whole community must manifest an attentive solicitude, so that they do not consider themselves separated from the Church, in whose life they can and must participate as baptized persons:
Code:
They should be encouraged to listen to the Word of God, to attend the Sacrifice of the Mass, to persevere in prayer, to contribute to works of charity and to community efforts for justice, to bring up their children in the Christian faith, to cultivate the spirit and practice of penance and thus implore, day by day, God's grace.159
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Trishie
Guest
Dear AnneTeresa
You do sound very stressed and weary (and a little bitter, which understandably can accompany hurt and frustration). I hope things become lighter for you.
It isn’t a matter of non-forgiveness. I have two siblings who sought and received annulments, and their first unhealthy marriages were followed by richly Catholic and happy marriages.
I certainly wasn’t ‘slamming’ you with a scripture, just mentioning God’s own words, not mine. They apply in any case even if some churches ignore them. I understand why they would.
I do see it as a very sad and difficult problem…and if you were in my parish and I knew your situation, I’d be making you welcome and suggesting a regular friendly coffee and simply offering you friendship. Like many other I’m what some call a ‘cradle Catholic’ and a daily Mass-goer for years, but unfortunately people who are suffering don’t always reach out to others with their hurts and problems.
They come they go, amongst the many, and one can smile and speak to them, but they keep their sorrows to themselves behind neutral faces and polite conversation. I understand that, but it does mean people like yourself struggle and suffer without claiming the love and support they’d get from others who are able to do that. Not everyone is good at giving loving support. People have different natures. But some are, and it’s a matter of finding each other. I hope and pray you will.
I’m sorry for all the hurt and frustration you feel. :flowers:
You do sound very stressed and weary (and a little bitter, which understandably can accompany hurt and frustration). I hope things become lighter for you.
It isn’t a matter of non-forgiveness. I have two siblings who sought and received annulments, and their first unhealthy marriages were followed by richly Catholic and happy marriages.
I certainly wasn’t ‘slamming’ you with a scripture, just mentioning God’s own words, not mine. They apply in any case even if some churches ignore them. I understand why they would.
I do see it as a very sad and difficult problem…and if you were in my parish and I knew your situation, I’d be making you welcome and suggesting a regular friendly coffee and simply offering you friendship. Like many other I’m what some call a ‘cradle Catholic’ and a daily Mass-goer for years, but unfortunately people who are suffering don’t always reach out to others with their hurts and problems.
They come they go, amongst the many, and one can smile and speak to them, but they keep their sorrows to themselves behind neutral faces and polite conversation. I understand that, but it does mean people like yourself struggle and suffer without claiming the love and support they’d get from others who are able to do that. Not everyone is good at giving loving support. People have different natures. But some are, and it’s a matter of finding each other. I hope and pray you will.
I’m sorry for all the hurt and frustration you feel. :flowers:
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