Revert to the faith after 18 years- need support

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j_veronica

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Hi everyone!

I’ve been lurking on this site for a few months but haven’t posted yet. I could use some encouragement and prayers. I’m a cradle Catholic who was away from the faith for 18 years (starting in college) wandering in the new age movement and secularism. About 7 months ago, at age 36, I wanted to get my baby son baptized, and I found myself unexpectedly called back to Catholicism. I think I saw a rosary video on YouTube and I was like, I want to pray the rosary again! Then suddenly I was back at Mass and can’t imagine not going. I am getting so much more into the faith than I ever was before, praying the rosary every day, studying the bible and other books. I love all of this and I praise God for calling me home. Yet at the same time I feel so alone! I don’t know any (practicing) Catholics. I joined a parish 2 months ago but haven’t met anyone beyond just saying hi, it’s not a very active parish, they don’t have any prayer or study groups. This is a pretty anti-Christian area, small town, very hippie, new age, pagan. It’s a pot growing area of northern California. All the friends I have here are into this sort of thing and no one is Christian. Everyone in my very small family has fallen away from the faith. I’m married (civilly) but my husband is pretty much atheist. We are getting our marriage convalidated in November but he’s just doing it because I want to, not because he believes in any way. We have a 1-year-old son and I want to raise him Catholic.

I guess what I need to do is just force myself to be friendly after Mass and try to meet people, but it can be difficult. I’m pretty introverted, and the church doesn’t even have coffee or social time after. People are rushing to their cars. Should I start a coffee group after Mass? Or a rosary group? I am gonna do my best to meet people, but it would be great to make some friends on here too or even just hear some words of encouragement that I am doing the right thing! Sometimes I feel totally crazy because no one close to me shares my faith. I never thought in a million years I’d be Catholic again. I want stronger faith but it’s really challenging when everyone around me doesn’t believe. Online community can be wonderful, but really no substitute for the real thing. I think once I get this convalidation taken care of, I will try to start a group at my parish.

Anyway, thank you and God bless! Look forward to meeting some people on here, or hearing similar reversion/ conversion stories.
 
I am in the same boat as you are. My small birth family is not religious, I am divorced and my married daughter lives on the other side of the country, am way too introverted and know no one from the faith. I am clueless on what to do about it.
 
You could try inviting your priest over for dinner and to bless the house.
 
Welcome HOME! 😃
God is leading you safely back to His pastures. 2 months isn’t a very long time at a new parish.

But you have good ideas - perhaps ask for a notice to be put in the newsletter about a rosary being prayed after a weekday Mass, or a Saturday morning Mass, if these are scheduled at your parish. Or a morning tea, say after the main Mass on the 1st Sunday of the month, which you could start if your parish is small. Then if a few people approach for coffee and biscuits after Mass - great! - these things take time. If it is seems to be working perhaps a sheet on a clipboard at the back of the Church where people can put down their name to take a turn at providing the biscuits for these informal after Mass get togethers - with hopefully Father making a plug for the same at the end of Mass. This is how it started at my parish. It is now well attended by about 50 people and morning tea is via roster and I think twice a month now.

You’re not alone there - my sister and I are the only practicing Catholics in our families too. Thank God for the grace of your husband agreeing to having your marriage convalidated, and for this to be happening. Good news indeed. I also applaud your wanting to raise your child in the Catholic Faith.

All you can do is try and if there are like minded individuals they will turn up and most likely be grateful that someone else is also interested in starting either praying the rosary either before or after a Mass or coffee & nibbles.
j_veronica said:
I want stronger faith but it’s really challenging when everyone around me doesn’t believe.
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Nothing worthwhile is ever easy. So rise to the challenge, pray often throughout the day even little aspirations, not necessarily long prayers, go to Mass, adoration if there is one near you, read the Bible, read the Lives of the Saints, and avail yourself of the Sacraments which God has left us to strengthen us on our journey Home to Him.

Stay strong and focus on God and pleasing Him. Pray for your husband and other lapsed family members, and pray that God will strengthen you, guide you and keep you safe.
 
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Welcome home! I will pray that you will persevere in following the Holy Spirit’s call, as he’s obviously called you back to the Church.

I agree that you should ask if your parish can connect you to some diocesan activities. Meanwhile be as outgoing as you are comfortable being around your parish. Even if you just say hello to little old ladies at Mass, that’s a human connection right there.

I don’t have a ton of Catholic friends either. I have several who were “raised Catholic”. All are now in some kind of irregular life situation where they either aren’t practicing or are going through some big hurdles like annulment process when they’re already living with a new person. I can’t point fingers at them since I wasn’t exactly living right myself until a few years ago. I don’t know anybody who is practicing, devout and my age, who isn’t a sister or a priest. I am pretty used to being the only one in my group doing something so it doesn’t bug me much, but I can see where it might be burdensome to others who would like to share with some Catholic friends their age.
 
Welcome home!!!

I know 100% what you are talking about. I was in a very similar situation. I feel away and have a strong reversion back to the faith around 36 too (today I’m 42).

When I started going to mass, I didn’t know anyone. I live 2 hours from my family and my wife isn’t Catholic.

I also live in a large parish, where many people grew up, so they know many people outside of mass. Needless to say, it took a while for me to get to know people (because at my parish, it’s hard to meet people after Sunday mass)

What I did and what I found worked very well was the following:
  • I attended Daily Mass as much as possible (at my parish, the daily mass people are like a small family and they do talk and notice new people)
  • I started attending the parish Bible Study and got to know the Pastor (he runs it) and others there
  • I started attending Adult Faith Formation programs at the parish. At these events, people really do take time to talk and get to know one another.
  • I also, eventually, volunteered to be part of a parish ministry.
  • Finally, I also sought out regional / diocesan level Catholic groups that fit my interests.
The above steps I took really helped me to get to know a number of people and they also introduced me to other people as time went on.

Point is, when Parish has 1500+ families, it’s often hard to make friends after Sunday Mass. Younger families often have errands to run after mass or kids sports (which I wish were not on Sundays). Older couples often have grandkids coming over to visit after mass, etc. So Sunday’s can be hard.

However, sometimes the smaller Parishes (ones with 250-500 families) sometimes have lots social events on Sundays. These smaller Parishes are often have a Sunday community more like the Daily Mass communities at larger Parishes.

God Bless and welcome home
 
Welcome back, it’s always great news hearing from others who are coming back to the Catholic Church. I consider it a grace of God.

I do understand you about wanting to connect more with people from your parish, I also had that same need and feeling. What really helped me to jumpstart my catholic social life was I was lucky enough to join a Bible study group at my local parish.

We are 5 people who meet once per week, read some passages from the Bible, discuss and debate, all within Catholic Church teachings to strengthen our faith and better connect to each other. We have become like a big family, sharing Passover, and going to Catholic conferences together. That is another thing you can do to connect with others, in the US there are tons of catholic conferences (for men and women), pro-life rallies, rosary groups, etc. Maybe your local parish could provide you with catholic conferences information which are in your location and coming soon.

The one thing the Church does excel at is connecting people, and it is so badly needed. Social media has ironically left us more isolated than ever.
 
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John10, your perspective is interesting since we seem to get a lot of people, especially converts, on here complaining that the Church does not do well at fellowship and they are lonely, can’t connect with people, etc.

I realize everyone’s situation is different, but sometimes I feel like people don’t look very hard outside of their parish and just constantly complain that their parish isn’t what they’d like it to be.
 
I would ask father if there are other recent reverts - or even converts. If they were willing, you could then establish a small group of reverts who instantly have something in common. Get-togethers on a weekly or semi-weekly basis might be of great help. Talk, read scripture, pray - you name it. Additionally, once you have formulated even a basic plan, you could place a 3X5 or business card on the bulletin board with your contact info.

Go before our Lord at Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament. Time spent there is the best time of your life. Make your doubts and fears, your desires known to Him. And then, be as patient with Him as He has been with you.

When you receive your answer, you will be at peace.
 
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Praise God you are back! Prayers for you. Your pastor there might be so delighted to hear your desires to build up some kind of small community. Numbers do not matter at all and if it starts with just two or three people, so be it. It is great to have a little scripture sharing group and after have some coffee and cookies. Keep it around an hour and not longer then some snack… Just read the scripture for Sunday on a Friday night or Saturday morning by going through the prayers and scripture. Have around a 7 to 10 minute time of quiet and then invite people to share their thoughts on the scripture that touched their hearts. But no one has to share-- only if they want to. It would be great to have the priest in the group. It really helps with Sunday mass after doing this. Just a thought .
 
Like you said, it’s hard to be around people who think differently about the Catholic church from you. Especially around other Catholics. It’s a lonely feeling, and for such a positive matter as faith.
 
That is true Tis_Bearself. I was surprised to see the amount of Catholic “conferences” and pro-life rallies going on outside the parish, not to mention the various social activities from the parish itself (volunteering, Bible Study, Light Lunch gathering after Sunday Mass, etc).
 
Good idea, thanks. My parish is actually getting 2 new priests starting right now
 
Thanks everyone, lots of good ideas. I am not sure yet how to do quotes from other people’s posts and respond to them. So just thanks all. I will give it time, check out daily Mass when I can, and talk to priest about it. Both priests are brand new transfers as of this week… And I’ll keep praying
 
Welcome home. I was once in the same position you are, 10 years ago. Coming home was the best thing I ever did.

Meeting people took time. As others have said 2 months isn’t very long. I would say watch your bulletin, watch bulletins from other nearby parishes, subscribe to your diocesan newspaper and watch for events and happenings. Also, at least at my parish, most people head for the same spot in the pews at Mass, so maybe look to sit in the same spot frequently also, giving people opportunity to see you.

If you can frequent daily Mass, those are usually attended by a few regular people but also can be the ones most involved in the parish.
 
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As parish staff, my advice to go into the office and talk to the staff I’m posting once again. New priests are just learning what goes on in the parish, the staff already knows and we do not bite 🙂
 
Hi welcome back 🙂
No, you’re not the only one who has reverted to Catholicism.
I’ll remember you in my prayers :pray:t2:❤️
 
j_veronica said:
Hi everyone!

I’ve been lurking on this site for a few months but haven’t posted yet. I could use some encouragement and prayers. I’m a cradle Catholic who was away from the faith for 18 years (starting in college) wandering in the new age movement and secularism. About 7 months ago, at age 36, I wanted to get my baby son baptized, and I found myself unexpectedly called back to Catholicism. I think I saw a rosary video on YouTube and I was like, I want to pray the rosary again! Then suddenly I was back at Mass and can’t imagine not going. I am getting so much more into the faith than I ever was before, praying the rosary every day, studying the bible and other books. I love all of this and I praise God for calling me home.
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🤟😎
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j_veronica:
Yet at the same time I feel so alone! I don’t know any (practicing) Catholics. I joined a parish 2 months ago but haven’t met anyone beyond just saying hi, it’s not a very active parish, they don’t have any prayer or study groups. This is a pretty anti-Christian area, small town, very hippie, new age, pagan. It’s a pot growing area of northern California. All the friends I have here are into this sort of thing and no one is Christian. Everyone in my very small family has fallen away from the faith. I’m married (civilly) but my husband is pretty much atheist. We are getting our marriage convalidated in November but he’s just doing it because I want to, not because he believes in any way. We have a 1-year-old son and I want to raise him Catholic.
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Prayers ascending for you and your family, and for your perseverance even if others don’t respond to the grace given them too. Keep doing what is correct in spite of what all the others are doing.
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j_veronica:
I guess what I need to do is just force myself to be friendly after Mass and try to meet people, but it can be difficult. I’m pretty introverted, and the church doesn’t even have coffee or social time after. People are rushing to their cars. Should I start a coffee group after Mass? Or a rosary group? I am gonna do my best to meet people, but it would be great to make some friends on here too or even just hear some words of encouragement that I am doing the right thing! Sometimes I feel totally crazy because no one close to me shares my faith. I never thought in a million years I’d be Catholic again. I want stronger faith but it’s really challenging when everyone around me doesn’t believe. Online community can be wonderful, but really no substitute for the real thing. I think once I get this convalidation taken care of, I will try to start a group at my parish.
Click to expand...
Does your parish have a bulletin one gets after mass? It should show the various ministries and groups in the parish. Also check with your priest or the parish office. AND you have a good idea, start a group yourself of the particular interest you want to cultivate if one doesn’t exist already
 
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